Day 655 Facing Change and Learning

Sometimes in moments of facing something new...or something that I haven't mastered, there are moments of resistance I am faced with. The resistance is specifically defined as a point of impatience and anxious. See, this is an interesting combination because within the resistance energy I experience within myself, I do in fact want to change/learn/master the point I am faced with.

Usually, I recognize this point of resistance....however there have been some instances where I became temporarily possessed within the point of resistance...and really what that meant was that I created a totally blockade towards actually being able to effectively integrate the new application I was working with.  It's like a giving up on actually understanding and realizing your potential and capacity in a moment...like a complete suppression/shutdown.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become impatient within walking the process of and as my journey to life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being impatient with the time it takes for me to effectively learn and master new skills.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being anxious within learning new things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself back,,,like suppressing my ability and capacity to learn/realize myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed within walking a process of integrating new changes within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated with the space and time required within and as the physical integration process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my natural learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging learning abilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a self righteous attitude about learning.



To be continued

Day 654 Forgiveness and Surprise

It's always interesting to see what can open up and develop when we utilize our potential .



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected to to face problematic issues in moments because the outcome of such a situation is not certain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within fearing uncertainty. I see/realize and understand how ridiculous it is to accept and allowed uncertainty to exist as an excuse/reason/justification for non action within creating/developing solutions that are best for all.

I see, realize and understand how adjustments are often made to solutions as the process implementation of solutions/corrections is walked and that initial solutions/self-corrections are not necessarily concrete as the effective implementation of solutions/corrections is a process within space and time like that of concrete/cement which takes time to settle and dry once it's been positioned.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the surprises that often come out of and as a result of taking responsibility for situations of conflict...meaning, that when and as I see there is an opportunity for me to direct a situation of conflict, this in many instances is a cool point of support and assistance that is able to develop and evolve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected to face every instance of conflict that exists within my mind. I see/realize/understand how allowing a conflict to remain within my mind without immediate direction and response when I in fact see the scope of the situation...is in fact irresponsible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting immediate responsibility for my thoughts/feelings/emotions in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the constant and consistent application of self-responsibility required in working through the depths of my mind.

I see, realize and understand that self-forgiveness is not really effective from the starting point of giving in order to get....even though that as you give to yourself you get to receive....which is really like a bonus in fact....because I see, realize, and understand that self-forgiveness is an actual self-expression we give/create for ourself here because it is a vital necessity within walking the process journey to Life as All as One as Equal.  Self-forgiveness is Self-Responsibility.  Self-Responsibility is Self-Expression. Self-Expression is Self-forgiveness. Sharing is Caring.

I commit myself to Sharing and Caring about myself as All Life Here.

I commit myself to perfecting my ability to live self-responsibilities.

I commit myself to practical living self-responsibility as who/how/why I am here.

I commit myself to daily self-reflection as a learning tool.

When and as I see myself resisting to look at a point, I stop and breathe...I see that this resistance that is coming up within me is actually like an alarm and siren going off within me as like a totally clear indicator that I have a situation within myself that requires and needs immediate attention and direction. I therefore take immediate responsibility for the resistance in the moment and create the solution to the problem/resistance. I see, realize and understand that obviously it is important to always take care when walking/working with resistance and that it is not in fact responsible to create unnecessary risk for individual well being and safety as a point of facing resistance. I see/realize/understand the practicality and common sense applications within working/walking through resistances.

Day 653 - Surprise is the Sure Prize and Sure Price?

It's fascinating to see how I have in many instances...

Actually resisted giving myself the surprise...

As the point of pushing into the unknown of myself here because there is no "energy" and "motivation" to do so...

Like there is no pulling and or pushing "Energy Experience" inside myself to do/create from moment to moment that is like this impulse....

Yet, what I find interesting about this...

Is,

.........,

At the same time,

..........,

There is......

This....

 Very Physical Point of Myself Existing Here.

 Me.,

 The Starting Point

of....

and as.....

 Me/My Being Here...

 Which,

 Is Always....

 All ways about pulling and pushing things open

 As the movement of me here

To

Explore/Play/Work/Develop/Create

Responsibilities.

I experience myself in many moments missing this "Self-Innovation Responsibility" of myself here...,

As a result of negating and neglecting to develop and open up the potential surprise and sure prize...

As the exploration into and as the unknown will surely bring forth new insight,,,

Which is obviously a sure price to pay....

Because isn't self-discovery and self-awareness the sure price...

When and as One is all ways willing to invest...

As our time here,

Because our ability to in fact enjoy our time here comes from and as our awareness here,

Being able to direct our response able connections/relations

Within and as the expression of self-awareness and Self-Responsibility.

This being our Why and Who and how of What We in Fact are.....





What am I exploring about directing and responding in accordance with our awareness?



Self-movement, self-actuality, self-creation, our potential, innovation, exploration, discovery, insight, uncovering, new development, process and progress, learning, new, education, standing status, increased potential.....etc...etc..

So,

to be more specific here in the moment:


I am looking at how and why it is there has been such a hesitance and resistance to actually creating a full time vocation to the innovation of Awesomeness and Cool in and as my expression of myself here from moment to moment ?..........

So,

Specifically,

I am seeing how there is things/activities/points that i see as being interesting and cool to explore.....BUT....have not actually pushed myself into moving through and developing because I do not know what the Prize and Price will be at/as the harvest of my fruits/labor...., which is interesting in and of itself because it's like I justify not testing and exploring the depths of my capacity because I don't know what they are and I cannot actually see them...so therefore kind of artificially inducing the logic that because I don't know/see it....then it can not in fact exist...

and here the kicker...

the kick starter...

as the potential that I am, always exists here....

yet the potential that I create is the...

in the moment movement of myself that can only be witnessed as myself in and as the moment I make the decision to participate within and as the exercising my movement/potential here....

which is fascinating because as I actually dare to move/explore/investigate/play/work,

I in fact actually act out  my response abilities to and as what is in fact best for Life....,

which is in fact interesting and fascinating within and as how the process of and as my self-creation/innovation in fact works here as the labor of movement/birth/breath/physicality here.



Why is the question?

the King of the Quests.....

yes, WHY, is in fact the Question.

When You Ask WHY....You Get to Know HOW and WHO.....because HOW and WHO are related to WHY....because HOW and WHO were created and innovated through WHY....

I say through WHY...because it is a passing on type of process as in and how it is in fact that we create/move/share/develop/grow/learn.....

Sharing is Caring principle at work/play here....

because,

as the cause that be....,

this is the essential ingredient/recipe in putting together the whole picture/puzzle that originated as the WHY....

and since we are WHY...

We know HOW and WHO...

because we are also the WHO and the HOW because all LIFE is ALWAYS Relative,

which is fascinating in and of itself because all Life is always here within and as the CREATION PROCESS HERE.

It's FUN and Fascinating to explore our potential as we enable ourself to move for the sake of moving as the exercising, working and playing of and as our Natural Learning Ability here.

What is so cool about this, is that, we are essentially a "Surprise".

The saying comes to mind: "Life is full of Surprises".....which I see can also mean....Life Is Full of Itself.....Which I see is; Within and so Without.....Internal equals External...

So, is "Surprise" in and of itself an expression and explanation of Our actual Potential Here?

Is Life not the Prize and Price all  must pay/give/receive?

Would it not be silly to disregard the value of All Life Here?

If One disregards aspects of Life Here...Does that mean, One is in fact disregarding the existence of their Life Here and therefore All Life Here....because, are not all Lives here connected to this One Life we are all existing within Here?

SO,

Is it important to give surprises to one another?

Is giving someone a surprise like giving someone a gift?

Is Our Life not the most valued Gift Here that has been given/bestowed to us Here?


Does it make sense that, that which has not been Forgiven has not been given for myself?

Am I able to Give Forgiveness to myself in every moment all of the time so that Everything/All of My Life is Given/Received/Lived/Expressed/Cherished...?

Is Self-forgiveness the Key/Tool to Receiving/Accessing/Unlocking/Opening Myself Up Here as the Kingdom of Heaven?

Would Life itself not be a complete surprise as the manifested expression of the Kingdom of Heaven in All it's Glory?



Looking more at "Surprise"... surname...sur-prize......"sur" the prefix meaning: "over, above, and in addition to"....survive...surcharge...survey....very sure......as above and so below....Life and Death is beyond Survival.....Death is In Life and Life is In Death....So,.. AS Within and So Without.....LIFE IS WITHOUT DEATH AND DEATH IS WITHOUT LIFE.....LIKE, Oneness and Equality together as our weather that creates the flow of the expression we sew as the fabric of Life we play with here.....

Interesting to see the parallels within our Life Fabric/Substance here and Our Fabrications here as the make up marker, covering up what is already here and clear as the purity of Nature.

Day 652 The Art of Communication

Effective communication is like a communion of action where there is a coming together in and as an agreement. What I find fascinating about this is the very fact that this is based on comprehension of what is being said/articulated. Meaning, there can be many different points of view and perspectives within and as the communication between people...and that is actually quite cool...in fact, this is a point of sharing in and as the expansion of self-development here...where our world expands in and as the seeing of a new perspective about a point. And from this perspective here...the communication is not a battle/argument/conflict....it is an exchange of information from the starting point that sharing is caring...and sharing and caring are fucking awesome.

It's interesting to see how there is difficulty in communication when one or more parties involved in communication take some sort of offense to specific information that is shared...like, a reaction to the information is usually in the form of offense/defense...where the information is essentially not comprehended and processed effectively within one's mind....which creates a disharmony of sorts....which results in a temporary misalignment within the potential harmony and rhythm of the sharing exchange and transference of information.

What is so fascinating about communication is our movement. Whether it be verbal or non-verbal.

It has become self-evident to me that when a point is not comprehended effectively there is a reaction which results in a particular energetic movement within the body....and, this movement can be verbal or non-verbal. In becoming acutely aware of these energetic movements within self and therefore others here, one can stand within and as the self-responsibility of directing any and every disharmony that occurs within the sharing of information.

What is fascinating about taking self-responsibility, is that we in fact enable our ability to respond/communicate effectively. Ironically, without gifting and giving ourself the responsibility to self-correct and remove points of dissonance/disharmony as moments of energetic reaction,...One's ability to hear and be heard here is suppressed....which is a most unfortunate mind fuck, a tragic comedy really, because, ineffective communication is a mistake and contamination in and as one's own relationship with words/Self here.

I have noticed that within one's immediate family....there can be much disharmony in communication...because there is so much emotion and feeling related to one another....which makes the energetic reactions in and as voice tonality greater/stronger...because the charges against oneself are so much more extreme and there has been such a build of emotion and feeling within the memories of each family member....that one is often much more easily triggered when another family member speaks to them. I heard something said along the lines of, "end war in the family....and there will be no war in the world" This is a fascinating exposure here because essentially the war that exists externally throughout the World is a total mirror and self-reflection of the war of words that exist within ourselves here. So, as we take responsibility for our words and actions here, we take responsibility in remediating the war/conflicts that exist here....because the wars and conflicts that exist are in fact nothing more than a consequential outflow of improper comprehension of vocabulary.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting in moments of communication as a point of impatience...in not wanting to really shut up and listen and receive what is being shared with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self-righteous within communication from and as the perspective of not wanting to take the time to listen and actually process and comprehend what is being shared with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying moments of blame within communication as a result of validating the use of judgement as a self-defense mechanism to super impose the position of blame. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how communication is in fact a simple point of sharing and that communication only becomes difficult when one decided within one's mind that they do not want to be patient and self-responsible within giving and receiving as what is best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the art of communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for investing emotions and feeling about particular words/things/people/places/behaviors and actions to such an extent that I feared letting go of the emotion/feeling/investment/relationship I created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my verbal and non verbal communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lazy within my communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my sounds within sharing my sounds here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how a contaminated vocabulary results in and as the suppression of particular self-expressions here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to hear/listen to myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take offense and defense in relationship to seeing and hearing what is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to battle myself within and as the suppression of my sound here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise and suppress my sound/movement/expression/beingness here within and as a result of participating within energetic reactions.

I see, realize and understand how energetic reactions are less than who I really am as Life.

I see, realize and understand how energetic reactions are the suppression of life substance here.

I see, realize and understand how to stop suppressing myself here.

I see, realize and understand how to direct/self-correct reactions/disharmony here.

I see, realize and understand the importance of self-responsibility within and as communication here.

I see, realize and understand how to communicate effectively.

I see, realize and understand the art of communication.

I see, realize and understand the 'art of communication' to be a point of self-movement/self-expression here as how we play.


I commit myself to playing,

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself and others to make the best plays and be the best players here.

I commit myself to practically living awesomeness within and as communication.

I commit myself to sound communication as the self-realization that who I am as sound is beyond the self-imposed limitations of energetic reactions as emotion and feeling.

I commit myself to sharing my sounds/words/movements in ways that are best for all Life here.

I commit myself to living and applying the 'art of communication' as who and how I am here as the starting point of self-responsibility and self-awareness that always exists here beyond consciousness.

Day 651 Laser Like Focus

Doing something exceptionally well requires a total commitment of Self within and as the specific participation, there is no room for compromise within one's mind because even giving a split second thought about something other than what one is immersed within creates a divide within effectiveness in action because then there is multiple points of division/immersion and so one's attention and focus is split.

I learned this point exceptionally well within the act of tree planting.

I have not yet mastered this point within my every moment of day to day participations.

I will master this point of total commitment within and as my commitment to my physical participation and self expressive movement as myself here in every moment.


Now for a little story;

Today I was talking on the phone to my girlfriend and I noticed how I was not giving my total attention to the conversation I was having with her....my attention was diverted within thoughts about different things I was allowing to linger within my mind.

It's totally ridiculous to allow oneself to drift in thought.

Consequently, I was not particularly enjoying myself drifting in though about various things that I had not sorted out and I was not particularly enjoying communicating with my girlfriend within such a limited self-induced manner.

When I would be tree planting and I would allow my mind to wonder...my overall skill level would diminish and in many instances I would have a trip and fall or a stumble or bang myself with my shovel....and prolonged involvement within wondering aimlessly within trains of thought would result in me feeling sluggish and being highly unproductive and very inefficient with my time management.

I learned it is much easier and simpler for me to take a breath and forgive the thought and energy that comes up when and as I am introduced to a point that surfaces within my mind...and in doing this, I found that I making the commitment and statement to not allow and enable distractions within and as my physical participation here. What results from this, is, self-enjoyment within and as my physical movement, exercising my potential and the expansion of my full potential, exceptional time management, masterful efficiency, strength, seemingly effortless flow as movement being expressed in perfect harmony here.


So, I ask myself the question now: "If I realize and understand my potential to exist here within and as the awesomeness that I see and realize that I in fact am, why would I ever dare to limit myself from exercising the living of my greatness here?"

To justify in any capacity the withholding of most excellent living potential here is a disgraceful disservice to all of existence here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have justified the withholding of my most excellent living potential here within and as a result of choosing to divert my attention away from and as my participation in physical reality by engaging in various streams of thought without specific direction and self-correction.

I see, realize and understand how to immediately direct my thoughts as a point of self-responsibility within and as the sounding of self-forgiveness as soon as the thought takes shape within my mind.

I see, realize and understand how thoughts/feelings/emotions are like energetic weather patterns within myself that are kind of like clouds in nature from and as the perspective that when left unattended and without direction and or correction...my mind becomes cloudy and or hazy which results in and as an experience of overwhelmingness where there is such a build up that a storm seems inevitable because there is so much cloud seeding that has taken place....and here also is where the lightning takes place as almost anything and everything within my physical environment then becomes a reality check trigger as like a form of electro shock therapy in terms of wanting to just get away from it all and see anything and everything within my environment from a starting point of blame / cognitive dissonance / justification / abdication of self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the severity of self-inflicted impairment/dissonance I create withing myself as a result of abdicating and neglecting my commitment to direct and correct my thoughts/feelings/emotions within every moment of my physical living participation here.

I commit myself to embracing the living of my full potential here.

I commit myself to embracing my awesomeness in all ways awesome.

I commit myself to living exceptionally well.

I commit myself to sounding self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications as my sound here.
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When and as I see my attention being diverted in thought, taking me out of physical reality, I stop and breathe, grounding myself here and I forgive my thought and I let it go.

When and as I see myself having a conversation where I am not totally present within my participation because I am preoccupied within other thoughts, I stop and breathe, forgive myself and look to see what is best for me to do within and as the starting point of practical living "Self Responsibility"

Day 650, Self-Censorship and Propaganda

This blog begins with having initially looked at two particular principles within and as the Desteni of Living Principles which can be seen in a previous blog titled " The Desteni of Living"

22. The realization that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become - I first have to 'know thyself' and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23 The realization that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world - I have to get to 'know thyself' as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

I noticed an interesting thing about myself and the behaviour of others with regards to sharing and not sharing.  The issue here is self-censorship/suppression of moments that would be in fact cool to share and in doing so would actually contribute to common sense living here as practical and physical sound support.

So, to look at myself specifically here, I had gotten out of the habit and self-created pattern of sharing daily my writing as a point giving as I would like to receive.

What's interesting about this is that within my mind I had a main reasons/rationalization that justified the validity of me choosing to withhold my capacity and capability to share my words from and as the starting point of 'practical living sound support and structured stability'.

What's interesting here, is to see exactly how I  have operated within a pattern of repetition for some time...and specifically gave legitimacy to a problem...which was me wanting to write and share more than I have previously been doing so within the past few months...and then the thought and point in question would pop up "well, it's already been so many days that I have missed that I haven't done it...if I miss another day it's no big deal....one day doesn't mean that much because I have already missed a bunch".

See here, the problem pattern I found myself within and kept myself within as a result of accepting and allowing my thought/feeling/emotion propaganda to influence my ability to actually move myself and create a new pattern/way forward for myself here.

See, it's interesting because I was accepting and allowing myself to censor my participation as a result of my own self-created internal media/backchat/propaganda/rationalizations/reasons/excuses/justifications.....and what is most fascinating about this is that I would always immediately recognize the debilitating point in question that would be the trigger to counter act my actions...as the "distraction"...and I would go into my "distraction" within the reasoning of just for a moment...and then before you know it I allowed myself to squander many moments of opportunity within myself because i decided to ride my internal high as the directionless impulse of being guided by energetic stimulation.

So, what is the point of my sharing here?

Getting out of a problem and into a solution starts with a self-commitment/self-decision to stop the repetition of the current problem. "Repetition" is a Key word here. Because, the Solution, as the way out of the problem has to be re-created over and over and over again....because the initial problem will re-surface as the preferred program play out. This happens because of our most recent past acceptances and allowances....where time and time again we made the decision to give credence to such a pattern play out....whether it was conscious or unconscious doesn't really matter....what matters is the decision that was made. So, Knowing and Seeing how this works gives one the insight and foresight to actually implant an effective long term solution for oneself.

What's interesting here also, is to see how relatively simple it is for us to be successful or unsuccessful within the practical living of Responsibilities. It's a decision. Now, obviously the understanding of how repetition works in building/establishing a level of consistency is important to Know. This here is the essence of how our Creation really works. It is is a point of Willing participation. Our acceptances and allowances determine and dictate the outcome of Being Here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I have accepted and allowed myself to justify, validate, reason and rationalize the censorship of myself here as my actual Life Living Potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding and resisting to fully examine and investigate the full extent of how behavior patterns work with specific regards to repetition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting self-corrective precautions in and as the moments where I am faced with self changing expansion of and as my over all Life Character here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being closed minded within and as the focus on and as my wants from a stand point of there being a problem/conflict within myself that I am not certain how to resolve/walk through/sort out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing problems and conflicts to linger within myself as wants/desires that I have not practically investigated as to what are the best solutions here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compounding suppression/censorship/propaganda within myself as a result of and as my participation within and as re-occurring thoughts/feelings/emotions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understand the extent of self-reflection that is here internally and externally as the words "Censorship" and "Propaganda".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I have propagated the censorship of and as my best potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to unlock total potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the process of change involved within unlocking an accessing my absolute and total potential here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to forget about my responsibilities in and as moments of distraction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within and as distractions from and as a starting point of escapism and egoism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to slow down and actually investigate the points of energetic movement within myself.  I see realize and understand how I am actually able to expand my awareness here by investigating the points of energetic value within myself...realizing and understanding the spectrum of positive feeling and negative emotion as an internal/external mindfuck that is no longer valid in and as the government of myself here.

I commit myself to stopping patterns of suppression and creating new patterns of support and assistance.

I commit myself to practically living the understanding of and as movement and repetition within and as the building and creation of new establishments here which are most excellent in nature, structure and sound.

I commit myself to stop participating within distractions within myself.

I commit myself to investigating all energetic movements within myself.

I commit myself to practical living "Self-Responsibility".

I commit myself to Sharing my words as point of practical living structured sound assistance and support.

When and as I see myself faced with a problem, I stop and breathe, I see here and how the problem is connected to a solution and that the solution stands one and equal with the problem. I see, realize and understand myself here as one and equal with both the problem and the solution. I see, realize and understand that I am not in conflict with the problems or solutions.  I see, realize and understand how I am able to direct solutions that are best.

I commit myself to standing as practical living structured support and assistance as the living of and as Sound Stability as who and how I am being here.

Day 649 Justifying Reactions is a Tragic Comedy

It's interesting to see how ridiculous it is to justify reactions. Like, for instance, in a moment where we act out an outlandish and ridiculous behaviour as a way to validate the emotion/feeling as a judgement we had created in relationship towards a past action.

I've noticed how I have had a tendency to make sense of an emotion/feeling/thought by perpetuating it...where I would justify it so to speak...as like a going into a make belief...making sense of the experience of myself by buying into participating within the reactionary energy...which is ridiculously absurd...because the reaction in the first place was and is always ridiculously absurd... and building off that as a result of creating more thoughts/feelings/emotions about it...just compounds one's mind fuck.

What I have noticed within this, is that there is in fact always a split second decision available to me where in fact I do not have to exist within and as reactionary energy...where I in fact have the opportunity to stop, breathe, see my initial reaction that has come up within me, let it go and learn from my mistake.

What is interesting about this is that in many instances there has been like an urge/justification within myself to follow out a reaction playout...as like this is a a way to assert my righteousness and feel good...like there is an initial shame within actually seeing my mistake/error/misunderstanding/reaction, and therefore wanting to shift away from the so called "bad" of this mistake/error/misunderstanding/reaction and into the "good"...and what is interesting about this is that there is nothing really "good" about perpetuating reactionary behaviour within myself...as this reactionary behaviour I have come to realize and understand is unnecessary stress/strain/abuse that is done unto the physical body.

I see/realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of wanting to showcase reactions towards particular situations as like a belief within needing to be self-righteous and prove myself..

I see/realize/understand how ridiculous it is to make the decision to lose control within reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how absurdly ridiculous it is to perpetuate participation within a reaction for even another moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how absurdly ridiculous it is to believe I need to qualify my reactions to others...as like I am selling them on buying into my perceptual mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to play out a reaction energy as a manipulation tactic.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating my physical well being within reaction energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying moments of reaction within myself by making the decision to perpetuate the experience of reaction within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within negative/positive reactions in hope and desire of receiving a reaction from another that I can leverage to perpetuate a positive buzz within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself negating self-responsibility and accountability for all of my positive and negative reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being judgmental about mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my natural learning ability is suppressed within making the decision to be judgmental about my mistakes. I see/realize and understand how I am able to learn at my utmost potential when and as I embrace my mistakes, so that I see my reactions for what they were...so that I can perfect and direct my actions in a way that is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I need to prove myself to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying reactions as a necessary way of making sense of the experience of myself in a moment...as like a constant re-enforcement of programming conditions/restraints on myself expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being careless within and as participation within reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the well being of myself and others within being self-righteous in making the choice to react in particular moments. I see/realize and understand how I am able and capable of making the decision to help my self by stopping to participate within the play of and as reactionary energy that has surfaced within my mind.

I commit myself to accountability for my actions.

I commit myself to learning from my mistakes/reactions without delay.

I commit myself to stop justifying reactions within myself.

I commit myself to stop seeking approval within and as participation within reactions.

I commit myself to stop creating a need to perpetuate reactions within myself.

I commit myself to exercising patience as I move through the depths of my mind and take self-responsibility and accountability for every moment of emotion/thought/feeling instability.

I commit myself to living self-stability as who/how I am here.