Day 651 Laser Like Focus

Doing something exceptionally well requires a total commitment of Self within and as the specific participation, there is no room for compromise within one's mind because even giving a split second thought about something other than what one is immersed within creates a divide within effectiveness in action because then there is multiple points of division/immersion and so one's attention and focus is split.

I learned this point exceptionally well within the act of tree planting.

I have not yet mastered this point within my every moment of day to day participations.

I will master this point of total commitment within and as my commitment to my physical participation and self expressive movement as myself here in every moment.


Now for a little story;

Today I was talking on the phone to my girlfriend and I noticed how I was not giving my total attention to the conversation I was having with her....my attention was diverted within thoughts about different things I was allowing to linger within my mind.

It's totally ridiculous to allow oneself to drift in thought.

Consequently, I was not particularly enjoying myself drifting in though about various things that I had not sorted out and I was not particularly enjoying communicating with my girlfriend within such a limited self-induced manner.

When I would be tree planting and I would allow my mind to wonder...my overall skill level would diminish and in many instances I would have a trip and fall or a stumble or bang myself with my shovel....and prolonged involvement within wondering aimlessly within trains of thought would result in me feeling sluggish and being highly unproductive and very inefficient with my time management.

I learned it is much easier and simpler for me to take a breath and forgive the thought and energy that comes up when and as I am introduced to a point that surfaces within my mind...and in doing this, I found that I making the commitment and statement to not allow and enable distractions within and as my physical participation here. What results from this, is, self-enjoyment within and as my physical movement, exercising my potential and the expansion of my full potential, exceptional time management, masterful efficiency, strength, seemingly effortless flow as movement being expressed in perfect harmony here.


So, I ask myself the question now: "If I realize and understand my potential to exist here within and as the awesomeness that I see and realize that I in fact am, why would I ever dare to limit myself from exercising the living of my greatness here?"

To justify in any capacity the withholding of most excellent living potential here is a disgraceful disservice to all of existence here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have justified the withholding of my most excellent living potential here within and as a result of choosing to divert my attention away from and as my participation in physical reality by engaging in various streams of thought without specific direction and self-correction.

I see, realize and understand how to immediately direct my thoughts as a point of self-responsibility within and as the sounding of self-forgiveness as soon as the thought takes shape within my mind.

I see, realize and understand how thoughts/feelings/emotions are like energetic weather patterns within myself that are kind of like clouds in nature from and as the perspective that when left unattended and without direction and or correction...my mind becomes cloudy and or hazy which results in and as an experience of overwhelmingness where there is such a build up that a storm seems inevitable because there is so much cloud seeding that has taken place....and here also is where the lightning takes place as almost anything and everything within my physical environment then becomes a reality check trigger as like a form of electro shock therapy in terms of wanting to just get away from it all and see anything and everything within my environment from a starting point of blame / cognitive dissonance / justification / abdication of self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the severity of self-inflicted impairment/dissonance I create withing myself as a result of abdicating and neglecting my commitment to direct and correct my thoughts/feelings/emotions within every moment of my physical living participation here.

I commit myself to embracing the living of my full potential here.

I commit myself to embracing my awesomeness in all ways awesome.

I commit myself to living exceptionally well.

I commit myself to sounding self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications as my sound here.
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When and as I see my attention being diverted in thought, taking me out of physical reality, I stop and breathe, grounding myself here and I forgive my thought and I let it go.

When and as I see myself having a conversation where I am not totally present within my participation because I am preoccupied within other thoughts, I stop and breathe, forgive myself and look to see what is best for me to do within and as the starting point of practical living "Self Responsibility"

Day 590 Sad is Faction

Continuing from my previous blog post

S-a-t-i-s-f-a-c-t-i-o-n.

Sat is past tense of sit. Is is past tense of be. Fact is the physical truth here. Ion is an atom or group of atoms.

Sit + be + the physical truth here + an atom or group of atoms = Satisfaction


Playing around with Satisfaction:

Sad is Fashion.....Sad is Faction.....it is sad when a disharmony exists because this represents a point of unresolved conflict...it is most unfortunate when unresolved conflict exists

Said Is Fact Ion...Said Is Faction

How can I live the word satisfaction as what is the absolute best?

Can the word satisfaction be lived in an unconditional sense...like as a movement and a commitment from moment to moment? Physical Existence. The Fact of the Matter. Here.

I see how I have compromised the unconditional living of "satisfaction" from moment to moment within and as a constant consistency. I realize and understand how defining satisfaction to exist within me as a conditioned nature that is linked to expectations and future projections that are charged up within my mind as positive energy is ridiculously absurd...and totally out of alignment as what is physically best for all Life Here.

I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself for Compromising the Unconditional Living of Satisfaction from Moment to Moment within and as a Constant Consistency of what is Always Physically Best for All Life Here.

I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself to Define Satisfaction to Exist within Me as a Conditioned Nature that is Linked to Expectations and Future Projections that are Charged Up within My Mind as Positive Energy.

I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself for not Realizing and Understanding how Ridiculously Absurd it is to Allow the Word Satisfaction to Exist within Me as a Conditioned Nature that is Linked to Expectations and Future Projections that are Charged Up within My Mind as Positive Energy.


To Be Continued.

Day 589 Satisfaction Question

I started questioning what is "satisfaction"?

Sat-is-fact-ion.

Sat-is-faction.

Sat-is-f-action.

S-at-is-fact-ion.

S-at-is-faction.

S-at-is-f-action.

S-at-i-s-fact-ion.

S-at-i-s-faction.

S-a-t-i-s-f-act-i-on

S-a-t-i-s-f-act-ion.

Sat-is-f-act-i-on.

S-a-t-i-s-f-a-c-t-i-o-n.

Sa-tis-fa-ction

Sat is past tense of sit. Is is past tense of be. fact is the physical truth here. Ion is an atom or group of atoms.

Sit + be + the physical truth here + an atom or group of atoms = Satisfaction



satisfaction in google dictionary has this to say:

noun

noun: satisfaction; plural noun: satisfactions

1. 1.

   fulfillment of one's wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this.

   "he smiled with satisfaction"

   synonyms:

   contentment, pleasure, gratification, fulfillment, enjoyment, happiness,pride;  smugness, self-satisfaction, complacency "he derived great satisfaction from his work" fulfillment, gratification; appeasement, assuaging "the satisfaction of consumer needs"

   • LAW

     the payment of a debt or fulfillment of an obligation or claim.

     "in full and final satisfaction of the claim"

     synonyms:

     compensation, recompense, redress, reparation, restitution,repayment, payment, settlement, reimbursement, indemnification,indemnity More

   • what is felt to be owed or due to one, esp. in reparation of an injustice or wrong.

     "the work will come to a halt if the electricity and telephone people don't get satisfaction"
   • CHRISTIAN THEOLOGY

     Christ's atonement for sin.
   • historical

     the opportunity to defend one's honor in a duel.

     "I demand the satisfaction of a gentleman"

Origin

Middle English: from Old French, or from Latin satisfactio(n-), from satisfacere ‘satisfy, content’ (see satisfy). The earliest recorded use referred to the last part of religious penance after “contrition” and “confession”: this involved fulfillment of the observance required by the confessor, in contrast with the current meaning ‘fulfillment of one's own expectations.’

To be Continued

Day 588 Personal Self-Interest?

"Do I fear letting go of my personal self-interest?"


Within looking at this question I see there are words I must investigate more in order to have a well rounded response/answer/solution here.

The words I am looking at here are "personal", "self" and "interest".

In looking at the words "personal self-interest", I ask myself, "is there any other kind of self-interest?" Can Self-interest exist beyond personal self-interest...or can Personal Self-Interest be expanded by enabling and harmonizing Personal Self-Interest to work congruently with Interpersonal and Universal Self-Interest?

Why have I primarily only regarded Self-Interest to exist on a personal level? Do I see and realize the disharmony that results from neglecting to simultaneously regard Self-Interest on a Personal/Interpersonal/Universal level?

Can Self-Interest exist and be aligned in and as personal/Interpersonal/Universal physical embodiment of what is best for all Life?

I'm questioning the outflow of my past behaviours from the starting point of neglecting to regard and consider Interpersonal Self-Interest and Universal Self-Interest...and how Personal Self-interest took precedence over the others.... the consequence of such an outlook participation is interesting because when the starting point of me/self is separation/private than the public good(s) is harmed in the process because of and as an unfortunate chain reaction... started from a place of dissonance...so this dissonance resonates throughout existence as my contribution/participation within and as our shared existence here.

Now, what I am noticing here is that it is important to get out of the singularity mentality as the either or of things...like one or the other...because we are in fact multi dimensional beings...and so there are always many facets/dimensions to see.

To be Continued

Day 586 Justifying Self-Satifaction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for utilizing the point of self-satisfaction as a coping mechanism as a way in which I could justify that I've done enough and that I do not require to push myself harder.

When and as I see myself using self-satisfaction as a coping mechanism to in a way justify that I've done enough and that therefore validates/creates an excuse/reason for me to not do more, I stop and breathe, I see and the realize the resistance I am creating to doing more within and as a point of self-perfection, I realize and understand justification as a flag point to be aware of as a facet of self-dishonesty. I commit myself to stop creatingexperiences of justification for myself. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of justifying self-satisfaction. I commit myself to stop arguing for my self-imposed limitation within and as justifying my self-satisfaction.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating the experience of self-satisfaction as a positive energetic experience within myself that can be identified as a reward and rewarding.


When and as I see myself making self-satisfaction to be a positive energetic experience that can be identifies as a reward/rewarding, I stop and breathe, I take self-responsibility in releasing myself from and as the positive energetic experience. I commit myself to stop charging up and make believing self-satisfaction to be a positive energetic experience.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the frame of mind and belief that I require to be recognized with rewards because I have completed work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishments.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to exist within the frame of mind and belief that I require to be recognized with rewards because I have completed work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishments, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand the self imposed limitation within and as such a particular mind set as I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of perpetuating energetic friction within myself. I commit myself to investigate any reaction/judgement/energy in relation to the completion of work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishment. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of judging my actions/results with energy. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of perpetuating energetic experiences within myself as a result of judging experiences and desiring particularly positive energetic experiences. I realize and understand that desiring positive energetic experiences is a huge mind fuck because that creates an endless cycle of abuse where energetic conflict continues to build within myself. I commit myself to removing the energetic experiences that exist within myself. I commit myself to daring myself to take care of the positive energetic experiences/reactions that exist within myself. I realize and understand that it is by equally taking self-responsibility for the positive and negative energetic experiences/reactions that exist within my mind that I can in fact equalize my mind here as what is the best Life support.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of making myself believe that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on a vacation because i don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied and believe I've already done enough.



I commit myself to investigate myself whenever the point of self-satisfaction comes up within myself as a reaction/experience. I commit myself to stop using self-satisfaction as a justification and excuse. I commit myself to preventing superior/inferior ego frame of mind. I commit myself to stop desiring rewards. I commit myself to investigating myself and the experience I have towards receiving rewards. I commit myself to preventing myself from going into an energetic reaction in relation to receiving a reward/recognition for a point of my participation here. When and as I see myself telling myself I've done enough...as a point of reasoning to avoid doing more work/participation within a particular point, I stop and breathe and I push myself to do more work/participation within the particular point I have an obvious resistance to continuing to move myself within. I commit myself to stop avoiding/resisting to do my best work. I commit myself to walk points into completion. I commit myself to prevent giving up on myself.

Day 583 Self-Satisfaction Corrections

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the single mindedness of me as ego, not realizing and understanding the singularity of me primarily existing as separate from everything else here.



I commit myself to Life Equality and Oneness



I commit myself to stopping and preventing the illusion of consciousness within and as the singularity of ego.



When and as I see myself existing within a point of ego, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that I am not trying to fight my ego of acceptances and allowances, but in fact work through my acceptances and allowances and make to self-correct my acceptances and allowances that are not in alignment with what is in fact in the best interests of all Life here.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed within my self-confined self-interest as a singularity separate from everything else here.


When and as I see myself distracting myself within self-interest as a point of my consciousness singularity, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the self-responsibility and self-accountability as what is best for all Life here. I commit myself to being meticulous within and as the process of self-investigation and self-introspection as to make sure that I dare to care about all of existence here. 



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not live the self-realization of and as the interconnectedness of everything here.


I commit myself to learning to  express myself within and as breath and function in accordance with the natural rhythm of my breathing here.


I commit myself to seeing what is here by effectively breathing here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being resistant to exploring self-intimacy within the question, "Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"


I commit myself to understanding and realizing how to practically live self-intimacy here within every moment here.


I commit myself to self-intimacy.


I commit myself to investigating my stimulation.


I commit myself to investigating my amusement.


I commit myself to realizing and understanding  myself here.

Day 582 Self-Satisfaction?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the single mindedness of me as ego, not realizing and understanding the singularity of me primarily existing as separate from everything else here.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed within my self-confined self-interest as a singularity separate from everything else here.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not live the self-realization of and as the interconnectedness of everything here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being resistant to exploring the my self-intimacy within the question, "Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within relationships from and as the starting point of stimulation from and as the perspective of being a distraction and a point of creating the illusion ofchoice/freedom.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for be abdicating self-responsibility as a result of existing within and as relationships of stimulation from and as the starting point perspective of distracting myself from myself by fearing to investigate the nature of my thoughts/feelings/emotions.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify existing within relationships from a starting point of fear/distraction/stimulation.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create self-manipulated logical reasoning as to why the meaning of my existence should revolve around this singular point of and as self-stimulation.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making self-stimulation to be a point of conflict as either "right" or "wrong".



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgments about self-satisfaction and amusement.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how within investigating a point of introspection I have a tendency to polarize my findings as like right and or wrong within and as positiveand negative energies.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking self-satisfaction within creating a labeled self-definition/judgement upon a point with a polarity friction/conflict energy.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for utilizing the point of self-satisfaction as a coping mechanism as a way in which I could justify that I've done enough and that I do not require to push myself harder.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating the experience of self-satisfaction as a positive energetic experience within myself that can be identified as a reward and rewarding.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the frame of mind and belief that I require to be recognized with rewards because I have completed work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishments.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of making myself believe that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on a vacation because i don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied and believe I've already done enough.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating self-responsibility within and as my relationship to and as the the point of self-satisfaction. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I buried my actual potential for self-expression within and as the point of self-satisfaction because I made self-satisfaction to be a point of positive energy experience which cannot exist without more and more negative energy within myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the point of giving up from and as the perspective of validating the giving up experience as a result of creating a justification of self-satisfaction

Day 581 Self-Intimacy within the Question

Continuing from my previous blogs:

"Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"


I see here how in the phrasing of this question I was existing within the single mindedness of me as ego. Me as a self-interested singularity if you will...me as primarily separate from everything else here. Me within theacceptance and allowance that each being here exists within this starting point of self-confined self-interest as a singularity separate from everything else here. Obviously this mental framework is ridiculously absurd because there is self-evident interconnectedness with everything here.

There was some resistance within myself to exploring the self-intimacy of the question here.

Within examining this particular question, I looked at the point of self-stimulation as the means to generating self-satisfaction and amusement. Within looking at this I did not really want to regard the point that stimulation is an abdication of self-responsibility from and as the perspective of being a distraction and a point of creating the illusion of choice. Also within this point, I see how the justification has existed within myself to see a self-manipulated logical reason as to why the meaning of my existence should revolve around this singular point of and as self-stimulation. It is shameful to see that my preoccupation has been self-satisfaction and amusement.

I was looking at the point of self-satisfaction within our shared reality as a coping mechanism as a way in which one can justify that enough effort/work has been done...that there is a point of complacency as a point of acceptance within self that aligns within the mentality/belief that I deserve a reward now because I am done and satisfied with my performance/achievement/accomplishment and thus I am self-satisfied because I have made myself believe within my mind that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind...and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on vacation because I don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied...

So here I see self-satisfaction linked to a point of giving up...from a certain perspective...because it's like agreeing that I will not keep open the self-investigation any longer because I am satisfied with the result I have already receive...and I found what I was looking for and therefor if I find anything else...it will most likely be in direct conflict with my expectations and ego frame of mind as what I am looking for within and as amusement/stimulation.

So, obviously I do not particularly like to see and regard self-satisfaction as a grand illusion as the justified reason for an experience of greatness within myself. I mean I am kind of ashamed to see how I worked so hard to convince myself of my own justified self-satisfaction while abuse perpetuates itself everywhere as a reflection of the inherent system which I am a part. So I mean to see and realize that self-satisfaction is totally bullshit when considering that to be totally satisfied about anything when even a single point of suffering exists here is a cop out and total disregard for the well being of life...as like this is to say ya I am satisfied with disregard for the well being of all Life here...because hey check out what I've done...I've self-glorified my individual personification within and as the reward center of my mind and therefore I have validated and excused any doubt that indulging within various relationships from a starting point of self-stimulation and amusement is questionable activity.

I see here how the makeup of me here is in fact rooted within and as systems of self-stimulation. I see here how self-stimulation is like a point of amusement. Like there is an excitement component movement to it.

To be Continued

Day 579 The Question in Hearing and Seeing What is Here

It's interesting and shameful to see my relationship to and as what I hear within a moment. Why? Because I've noticed that in certain moments what I hear resonates so painfully clear with what I have accepted and allowedwithin myself. What's interesting to see within these particular moments of hearing here is that there is a point of profound self-reflection and the opportunity to assist and support that unfortunately gets misdirected within taking offense/defense to what I here...where the point of my self-reflection and self-introspection gets lost within and as my self-judgment as how I have defined what is here as separate from myself...and within this point of accepted and allowed separation, I see and realize that I react within the various realm of self-judgement, because it is as I define a point separate from myself and believe another to be separate from me that there real shame perpetuates because it's a point of hiding within myself where I want to focus on controlling another through the realms of my own self-righteous judgment where I have defined me as right and another as wrong and within this the point of seeing and communicating I am at a cross roads of sort...an accepted and allowed conflict...because what I hear here always exists within me...because if we regard the point of relativity and the point of how I hear as a reflection of my ability to process within myself...what I always here is therefore a reflection of me here.

So what I am starting to realize and understand is the unfortunate chain reaction that happens from time to time as the perpetuated play out in the interpretation of self-defining-judgment within and as how I hear here. 

I have been continuously given tremendous support from children with who I am grateful for the opportunity to work with on a daily basis teaching skiing.

I teach a particular child once a week for many consecutive weeks and this particular child reflects the points that I have attempted to hide from myself and what is interesting about this...is that I've resisted to investigate the extensiveness to which this child reflects points that exist within myself. So much so, that in many moments I would simply try to ignore the sounds coming from this particular child, because I was trying to protect myself from facing the points of self-correction within myself that are most unfortunate...and in this way...I see and realize my minds tendency within my self-created auto defense systems as a way to prevent me from really facing the roots of a point within total self-reflection...

So this particular child so clearly embodies the point of stimulation for self-satisfaction and is quite effective in directing/orchestrating his own personal self-stimulation and amusement as his constant continuous motion without particular regard for how his desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around him.

To Be Continued