Day 651 Laser Like Focus

Doing something exceptionally well requires a total commitment of Self within and as the specific participation, there is no room for compromise within one's mind because even giving a split second thought about something other than what one is immersed within creates a divide within effectiveness in action because then there is multiple points of division/immersion and so one's attention and focus is split.

I learned this point exceptionally well within the act of tree planting.

I have not yet mastered this point within my every moment of day to day participations.

I will master this point of total commitment within and as my commitment to my physical participation and self expressive movement as myself here in every moment.


Now for a little story;

Today I was talking on the phone to my girlfriend and I noticed how I was not giving my total attention to the conversation I was having with her....my attention was diverted within thoughts about different things I was allowing to linger within my mind.

It's totally ridiculous to allow oneself to drift in thought.

Consequently, I was not particularly enjoying myself drifting in though about various things that I had not sorted out and I was not particularly enjoying communicating with my girlfriend within such a limited self-induced manner.

When I would be tree planting and I would allow my mind to wonder...my overall skill level would diminish and in many instances I would have a trip and fall or a stumble or bang myself with my shovel....and prolonged involvement within wondering aimlessly within trains of thought would result in me feeling sluggish and being highly unproductive and very inefficient with my time management.

I learned it is much easier and simpler for me to take a breath and forgive the thought and energy that comes up when and as I am introduced to a point that surfaces within my mind...and in doing this, I found that I making the commitment and statement to not allow and enable distractions within and as my physical participation here. What results from this, is, self-enjoyment within and as my physical movement, exercising my potential and the expansion of my full potential, exceptional time management, masterful efficiency, strength, seemingly effortless flow as movement being expressed in perfect harmony here.


So, I ask myself the question now: "If I realize and understand my potential to exist here within and as the awesomeness that I see and realize that I in fact am, why would I ever dare to limit myself from exercising the living of my greatness here?"

To justify in any capacity the withholding of most excellent living potential here is a disgraceful disservice to all of existence here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have justified the withholding of my most excellent living potential here within and as a result of choosing to divert my attention away from and as my participation in physical reality by engaging in various streams of thought without specific direction and self-correction.

I see, realize and understand how to immediately direct my thoughts as a point of self-responsibility within and as the sounding of self-forgiveness as soon as the thought takes shape within my mind.

I see, realize and understand how thoughts/feelings/emotions are like energetic weather patterns within myself that are kind of like clouds in nature from and as the perspective that when left unattended and without direction and or correction...my mind becomes cloudy and or hazy which results in and as an experience of overwhelmingness where there is such a build up that a storm seems inevitable because there is so much cloud seeding that has taken place....and here also is where the lightning takes place as almost anything and everything within my physical environment then becomes a reality check trigger as like a form of electro shock therapy in terms of wanting to just get away from it all and see anything and everything within my environment from a starting point of blame / cognitive dissonance / justification / abdication of self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the severity of self-inflicted impairment/dissonance I create withing myself as a result of abdicating and neglecting my commitment to direct and correct my thoughts/feelings/emotions within every moment of my physical living participation here.

I commit myself to embracing the living of my full potential here.

I commit myself to embracing my awesomeness in all ways awesome.

I commit myself to living exceptionally well.

I commit myself to sounding self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications as my sound here.
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When and as I see my attention being diverted in thought, taking me out of physical reality, I stop and breathe, grounding myself here and I forgive my thought and I let it go.

When and as I see myself having a conversation where I am not totally present within my participation because I am preoccupied within other thoughts, I stop and breathe, forgive myself and look to see what is best for me to do within and as the starting point of practical living "Self Responsibility"

Day 534 Why Do I Resist Doing Things?

I noticed how there is a tendency within myself to resist doing things sometimes…like I create a judgement and comparison preference towards participating or not participating within particular things/opportunities…like there’s this heaviness energy within myself…where I believe that participating in particular things brings my self-interest into question/jeopardy. Like, I will think of things that produce or keep me in alignment with a particular energetic state. For example with the heaviness experience, it’s like in particular instances it’s as though I would rather not commit to anything…that by not committing to particular engagements I believe I will have more free time…like more time to indulge myself within self-interested pursuits of entertainment. I see how sometimes I create judgements towards moving myself…like wanting to remain within a point of laziness…like the laziness energy is this heaviness…and remaining within that experience requires no physical effort what so ever.  And it’s really quite bizarre because once I commit myself to participating within particular things where I have resistance to doing so, I actually quite enjoy myself within self-expression while participating within particular things/activities.

I think this laziness energy and resistance to doing things is related to me within the years where I smoked copious amounts of marijuana where I often turned down events/activities/opportunities because I preferred to just sit around and get high…like making commitments to doing things seemed like a lot of effort that I wasn't really that interested in.

I realize and understand I exist within a physical reality where participation and movement is required.

I see me having resistance sometimes to participating within social interactions and gatherings, like I would prefer to just remain by myself and do my own thing. Though again this is interesting because I do enjoy engaging/communicating/sharing self-expression with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto this laziness/heavy energetic experience within myself where I prefer to remain within this heaviness lethargic state as opposed to moving myself into physical participation with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for preferring to be by myself as opposed to being with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards being by myself and being with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting social opportunities of activity and relationship out of preference to being by myself within entertainment indulgences of self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for taking the time to spend time by myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling conflicted at times for wanting to take the time for myself when I see and realize that many of my peers do not take the time for themselves within self-investigation pursuits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how there was a time when I never really wanted to be by myself and always existing within socializing experiences of entertainment out of like the fear of being/spending time by myself without the companionship of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty within finding the perfect balance between social interactions and private time to/for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for flip flopping within extremes of always socializing and isolation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for isolating myself sometimes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining isolation as negative.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I have often focused socializing upon self-interested pursuits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting socializing if I do not see any particular benefits/rewards/self-interested pursuits within socializing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and feel guilty when I do not see any practical support/benefit/reward/self-interested pursuits within socializing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgement within myself to saying no to particular social interactions....like believing that I should always say yes when offered to participate within social activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising self-responsibilities within fearing to say no sometimes to participating within social activities with peers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving social activities precedence of self-responsibilities/obligations.

When and as I see myself judging whether or not to socialize with others from within the starting point of self-interest, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the suppressing myself expression within socializing within the point of self-righteous self-interest is not practical self-support.

To be Continued