Day 591 Self-Satisfaction

Satisfaction is pleasure/gratification/harmony within and as the physical alignment of the fact of the matter here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have self-sabotaged the living of satisfaction as pleasure/gratification/harmony within and as the physical alignment of the truth/fact of the matter here as a constant and consistent movement of and as my physical self-expression here. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I created, perpetuated and expanded the existence of disharmony within myself as a result of accumulating energetic impressions upon my memories.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which it is my urgent self-responsibility to release myself from my self-imprisoned disharmony as a result of the inner conflict that I have created throughout my life as my positive, negative and neutral energy/thought associations as the plethora of reactions that I have had in relationship to and as my participation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I can in fact live the word satisfaction as a point/tool/life support and assistance in walking the journey to life as the process of self-realization/self-forgiveness/self-corrective application. I realize and understand myself within and as Satisfaction.

When and as I see myself suppressing/self-sabotaging my self-satisfaction here, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand how ridiculously absurd this is, I face the point of self-suppression/self-sabotage, I commit myself to resolving the cognitive dissonance that exists within myself. I commit myself to self-satisfaction within and as the process of self-realization/self-forgiveness/self-correction. I commit myself to self-satisfaction,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing the living of self-satisfaction as what is best for all Life here.

I commit myself to living self-satisfaction as what is best for all Life here.

I commit myself to seeing/understanding/realizing how real physical self-expression exists within and as the self-trust of self-satisfaction here.

I commit myself to the pleasure/gratification/harmony within and as the physical alignment of the truth/fact of the matter here as what is best for all Life here.

Day 589 Satisfaction Question

I started questioning what is "satisfaction"?

Sat-is-fact-ion.

Sat-is-faction.

Sat-is-f-action.

S-at-is-fact-ion.

S-at-is-faction.

S-at-is-f-action.

S-at-i-s-fact-ion.

S-at-i-s-faction.

S-a-t-i-s-f-act-i-on

S-a-t-i-s-f-act-ion.

Sat-is-f-act-i-on.

S-a-t-i-s-f-a-c-t-i-o-n.

Sa-tis-fa-ction

Sat is past tense of sit. Is is past tense of be. fact is the physical truth here. Ion is an atom or group of atoms.

Sit + be + the physical truth here + an atom or group of atoms = Satisfaction



satisfaction in google dictionary has this to say:

noun

noun: satisfaction; plural noun: satisfactions

1. 1.

   fulfillment of one's wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this.

   "he smiled with satisfaction"

   synonyms:

   contentment, pleasure, gratification, fulfillment, enjoyment, happiness,pride;  smugness, self-satisfaction, complacency "he derived great satisfaction from his work" fulfillment, gratification; appeasement, assuaging "the satisfaction of consumer needs"

   • LAW

     the payment of a debt or fulfillment of an obligation or claim.

     "in full and final satisfaction of the claim"

     synonyms:

     compensation, recompense, redress, reparation, restitution,repayment, payment, settlement, reimbursement, indemnification,indemnity More

   • what is felt to be owed or due to one, esp. in reparation of an injustice or wrong.

     "the work will come to a halt if the electricity and telephone people don't get satisfaction"
   • CHRISTIAN THEOLOGY

     Christ's atonement for sin.
   • historical

     the opportunity to defend one's honor in a duel.

     "I demand the satisfaction of a gentleman"

Origin

Middle English: from Old French, or from Latin satisfactio(n-), from satisfacere ‘satisfy, content’ (see satisfy). The earliest recorded use referred to the last part of religious penance after “contrition” and “confession”: this involved fulfillment of the observance required by the confessor, in contrast with the current meaning ‘fulfillment of one's own expectations.’

To be Continued

Day 581 Self-Intimacy within the Question

Continuing from my previous blogs:

"Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"


I see here how in the phrasing of this question I was existing within the single mindedness of me as ego. Me as a self-interested singularity if you will...me as primarily separate from everything else here. Me within theacceptance and allowance that each being here exists within this starting point of self-confined self-interest as a singularity separate from everything else here. Obviously this mental framework is ridiculously absurd because there is self-evident interconnectedness with everything here.

There was some resistance within myself to exploring the self-intimacy of the question here.

Within examining this particular question, I looked at the point of self-stimulation as the means to generating self-satisfaction and amusement. Within looking at this I did not really want to regard the point that stimulation is an abdication of self-responsibility from and as the perspective of being a distraction and a point of creating the illusion of choice. Also within this point, I see how the justification has existed within myself to see a self-manipulated logical reason as to why the meaning of my existence should revolve around this singular point of and as self-stimulation. It is shameful to see that my preoccupation has been self-satisfaction and amusement.

I was looking at the point of self-satisfaction within our shared reality as a coping mechanism as a way in which one can justify that enough effort/work has been done...that there is a point of complacency as a point of acceptance within self that aligns within the mentality/belief that I deserve a reward now because I am done and satisfied with my performance/achievement/accomplishment and thus I am self-satisfied because I have made myself believe within my mind that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind...and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on vacation because I don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied...

So here I see self-satisfaction linked to a point of giving up...from a certain perspective...because it's like agreeing that I will not keep open the self-investigation any longer because I am satisfied with the result I have already receive...and I found what I was looking for and therefor if I find anything else...it will most likely be in direct conflict with my expectations and ego frame of mind as what I am looking for within and as amusement/stimulation.

So, obviously I do not particularly like to see and regard self-satisfaction as a grand illusion as the justified reason for an experience of greatness within myself. I mean I am kind of ashamed to see how I worked so hard to convince myself of my own justified self-satisfaction while abuse perpetuates itself everywhere as a reflection of the inherent system which I am a part. So I mean to see and realize that self-satisfaction is totally bullshit when considering that to be totally satisfied about anything when even a single point of suffering exists here is a cop out and total disregard for the well being of life...as like this is to say ya I am satisfied with disregard for the well being of all Life here...because hey check out what I've done...I've self-glorified my individual personification within and as the reward center of my mind and therefore I have validated and excused any doubt that indulging within various relationships from a starting point of self-stimulation and amusement is questionable activity.

I see here how the makeup of me here is in fact rooted within and as systems of self-stimulation. I see here how self-stimulation is like a point of amusement. Like there is an excitement component movement to it.

To be Continued

Day 580 Gifting Myself within Self-Reflection

Continuing from my previous blog:

"I teach a particular child once a week for many consecutive weeks and this particular child reflects the points that I have attempted to hide from myself and what is interesting about this...is that I've resisted to investigate the extensiveness to which this child reflects points that exist within myself. So much so, that in many moments I would simply try to ignore the sounds coming from this particular child, because I was trying to protect myself from facing the points of self-correction within myself that are most unfortunate...and in this way...I see and realize my minds tendency within my self-created auto defense systems as a way to prevent me from really facing the roots of a point within total self-reflection...

So this particular child so clearly embodies the point of stimulation for self-satisfaction and is quite effective in directing/orchestrating his own personal self-stimulation and amusement as his constant continuous motion without particular regard for how his desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around him."


I see how throughout my life time I've been quite effective in directing/orchestrating my own personal self-stimulation and amusement as my constant and continuous motion without particular regard for how my desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around me.



The questions come up within myself: 



"Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"



"Is it wrong for me to exist the way I have existed?"



"Am I trying to justify self-interested pre-occupation when in fact I exist in a time/space reality that requires extensive assistance and support in re-aligning the framework rules to support what is best for all Life."



"Do I fear letting go of my personal self-interest?"



"What else do I know besides my personal self-interest?"



"How would I exist here if I moved out of a desire based starting point of self-interest pre-occupation?"



"Should not the point of living here be for everyone to have the opportunity to investigate and explore their personal self-interests?"



"Why am I resistant to fully letting go of my personal self-interests when I know and realize our shared reality requires serious changes in order to assist and support all Life here as what is best? Would this not be a point of serious change?"



"Do I see how I argue for my own self-imposed limitation within justifying/desiring to spend my time within recreational/leisurely pursuits when our shared reality requires intensive labor investigative pursuits in order to stop the heinous abuse that is perpetuated as a result of disregarding what is best for all Life here?"



"Why have I allowed myself to regard my-self as separate from everything else here?"



"Is believing Self to be separate from everything else here easier to justify the use of blame and abdication of personal self-responsibility and self-accountability"



"Do I see how I have not really understood the extent of self-interest in the greatest most profound sense because I resisted living from the starting point of Equality and Oneness in every moment?"



"Do I see how self-interest from a starting point of self being separate from everything here creates a disharmony as a cognitive dissonance to the understanding and self-realization of what is best for all Life here...and how regard for self-interest in the most profound sense is the regard for what's best for all Life...as that's the best self-interest....the only real self-interest....because anything else is less than considering all Life One and Equal Here?"