Within beginning my morning movement, I have noticed that when first moving myself to lets say the washroom,..I have caught myself existing within my mind just kind of automatically thinking about yesterday and what I did and didn't do. What's interesting about this is it is like a carrying of a dead weight. Like, to a certain extent, having held onto self-judgement from my previous day(s) and carried it forward with me to today...and what is interesting about this is that within my mind I have been automatically indulging within this thinking...and justifying this behaviour within the belief that I am analytically really studying myself. What is interesting about this...is that, it has become quite self-evident to me that I am not being as effective as possible within my evening before I go to sleep...specifically making sure I am not carrying any energetic baggage with me from the past into the future. Obviously, I realize and understand that this is a process and it is my self-responsibility to face points as they come up and prevent these same point from coming up in the future.
What I have also noticed is that I have allowed myself to be distracted within myself as a result of thinking about the past. It's like going into a vortex...and the vortex seems interesting because it's about yourself...and you don't realize how you get stuck in time and really lose your time because whether you realize it or not your resonating within this energetic buzz/trance that is directly related to the vortex that you're within. And interestingly enough, what I have noticed and realized is that there is always a point of self-awareness...where I choose to enter the mind vortex and choose to step out of the mind vortex.
What's interesting to me is that within accepting and allowing myself to practically live the application of 'gratefulness', I can in fact see the point of self-realization that I had previously not seen/realized/understood. What is interesting about this, is that here exists the humbling nature of the process of self-realization and self-perfection.
What's interesting to me is that going into the trance like state within my mind where I am just kind of totally in my head and out of my body, is that it is always a choice...and interestingly enough...I have justified making this choice on many occasions within the seemingly logical reasoning that I have a few minutes to kill/burn/spare. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the ridiculous absurdity of justifying and logically reasoning that I have a few minutes to kill/burn/spare...where I can indulge within my mind as like just drifting off...day dreaming...thinking....not realizing and understanding the expensive cost paid by the physical body for such entertainment in mind.
To be Continued
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