I am engaging myself in a 7 year journey to Nothingness. Meaning I am writing myself here...all the way through my mind, birthing my Life Potential within and as my physical body and Being Here. I re-structure myself within and as words. I am sharing my process of self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-realizations as I walk my journey to life. Cheers and Enjoy.
Sunday 30 March 2014
Day 616 The Error in My Judgement
Within investigating the relationship dynamics I have with various people I am ashamed to see how I have limited the development of many prosperous life expanding relationships as a result of my accepted and allowed self-judgment.
It's interesting to see how one's ability to have fulfilling relationships with beings is directly related to the point of "judgement". Specifically what I mean about judgement here, is with particular regards to one's personalized vocabulary. See, What I have noticed about myself is that my relationship with each and every word within myself reflects and illustrates my practical living effectiveness in and as my ability and capability in developing quality relationships with people in my reality.
Meaning, if there is energetic polarization in my vocabulary...this is going to cause an inability for me to have genuine, effective, substantial, fulfilling, substantial, rewarding, supportive, assisting, and profoundly great relationships without self-imposed strain, tension, frustration, anger, irritation, and cognitive dissonance.
What is interesting to see here is how "justification" is a primary word of the individualized ego mentality of mind that has contributed in justifying my very own self-validated and self-defined vocabulary restraints.
Here's a little example and story to clarify the significance and importance of proper vocabulary alignment:
So, the word "alcohol"...I created many negative energetic charges in relationship and association to the word alcohol. Meaning I created an extensive amount of resistance around this particular word...to the point where for the most part I would disregard the majority of humanity who associate themselves with liking to drink alcohol.
The consequence of such behaviour was the result of and as self-righteous justification. Interestingly enough within my mind, I believed my self-righteous justification to be logically reasoned within my mind as making sense because of how the word "alcohol" was accepted and allowed to exist within myself. What is interesting about the word "alcohol" and my experience with the word "alcohol"...is that basically I was holding onto extensive self-judgement/tension/strain in relationship to the word "alcohol"...where I in fact flip flopped from having initially regarded"alcohol" with positive energy.
See, my initial relationship with alcohol was from the starting point of regarding "alcohol" as something to do that is cool and is a way for me to have added courage within and as my socializing and expressing myself towards others...to the point where I in fact at one point in time regarded alcohol as my "liquid courage" and it was a social lubricant for me...making socializing a seemingly more natural process...because I had recognized that I had had some difficulty with socializing because I was at times shy and timid.
What is interesting about all this is that I never regarded the anger and frustration I harbored in relationship to this point. You see, because years later, I totally changed my stance about alcohol and my identity in relationship to alcohol. Also, I saw that I did not require alcohol to be comfortable within my own skin and that I did not see my initial relationship with alcohol as cool...as like, it was a form of a crutch...granted, I see and realize how a crutch can be a temporary point of assistance and support.
To Be Continued:
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