Day 492 Walking through Resistance

I was out walking with Daisy the Dog this Evening and I noticed a peculiar thing. I was getting pissed off when ever she was resisting to go a particular way. Like for instance we had got quite far from home and we needed to get turned around and back towards the house, because I had other responsibilities to attend to, and a 4 hour outdoor explore was not in the cards for today. 

So, I asked myself, why the fuck am I getting bothered when Daisy pulls on the leash?

I was bothered because I was not liking to pull on the leash.

I was worried and concerned that she would not like me pulling on the leash.

It's interesting because I wasn't taking into consideration how she would deliberately yank herself on the leash, much harder the I would pull at her on the leash.



Daisy, showed me a cool point here this evening. How to be cool within and as self-direction. As like the point is the point that needs to be directed. There is nothing personal about the point. No need for emotions or feelings within directing a point.

So, I forgave myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking offense to directing a point of resistance.

After which I noticed I was no more consumed with bother in giving Daisy a gentle tug on the leash and saying to her, "come on Daise, were going this way, it's time to head back towards the house"

What's funny is that she responded and was happy to oblige me.

What's also funny is that she kept fucking with me when I was reacting to her being resistant to my self direction.

So it was reallly cool that she was testing, and checking my self-direction because the point came up where I needed to correct myself, where I allowed myself to take offense to resistance and be bothered by resistance.

Lol I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of allowing myself to be consumed with bother within and as the reaction to facing a moment of resistance.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how allowing myself to be bothered in any moment of resistance is absurdly ridiculous, and is in fact a total dis-service to myself and allLife, as I realize and understand that I am ineffective in directing myself in and as a moment of reaction, that such reactions, are point of self-dishonesty, and are not suggested.

When and as I see myself facing a point of resistance, I stop and breathe, I see myself here in breath, I realize and understand how to direct the point within allowing myself to stop and breathe. I realize and understand that stopping to breathe is the first point of self direction. I realize and understand that as allow myself to stop and breathe, I am able to apply common sense in the moment as my practical living application of moment to moment management as the effective managing of my moments.

I commit myself to self-direction.

I commit myself to applying common sense in the moment as my practical living application of moment to moment management.

I commit myself to effectively managing my moments.

Day 487 Time for Fitness Exercises?

How much time to I need to exercise? I noticed an interesting thing yesterday, I don't really need any extra time to exercise.  What I mean by this is that the time to exercise already exists everyday, regardless of the schedule.  What I mean, is that it is just a matter of incorporating exercise moves into routine/schedule.  Like for example, I have a dog that I am responsible for taking out for a few walks a day...and while I'm outside with her the opportunity exists for me to do some exercises....like there is a huge range of physical movements that I can express myself within and further my strength and understanding of my physicality by simply playing with physical body movement expressions. For example, the dog is stopped to smell a bunch of things, and so I do a bunch of squats on the spot.  The point i'm getting at is that I can freestyle fitness exercises throughout the day without having to set a side a big block of time for fitness exercises.

So, I'm just beginning to really play with this point of "freestyle fitness exercises".  I'm seeing it as a cool point of in the moment self expression physical body support.  I mean, the Earth is like one big giant playground, I see and realize the potential to play with physical body movements exists everywhere.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been resistant to "freestyle fitness exercise" where I can play with my physical movements everywhere I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being judgmental about doing stretches in a public place.  I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of restraining myself from stretching when I am standing around in a public place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be stiff and rigid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be really flexible in all public situations.

I forgive  myself for accepting and allowing myself for having ideas as forms of judgement about how I am suppose to move within public interactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to use little bursts of physical exercises like push-ups, planks, squats, stretches after sitting or laying down for a little while.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that there's no point in doing physical exercises, unless I am going to do them for a very long time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing and disregarding the fact that every thing counts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for having justified not counting things I regard as not very big.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not taking the time to insure that I am playing throughout my day within and as the various range of physical movements I participate within throughout the day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding and neglecting opportunities and my abilities to physically move/express myself throughout the day.  I realize and understand that all physical movement starts with breathing. I realize and understand that it is through breathing that I am able to advance specific physical body movement expressions.  I realize I have neglected so many moments of physical expression here within breath.

I commit myself to physical expression within breath.

I commit myself to utilize the time and opportunity that exists each day/night to incorporate fitness exercises into my range of physical body self-expressions.

I commit myself to "freestyle fitness exercises"

I commit myself to sharing my process of discovery/self-expansion.

Day 466 Reacting to Criticism

The point came up today where I was criticized for something I was doing, and I reacted defensively, being offended by the tonality of the criticism coming at me.

I realised I reacted to the point of criticism and the criticism was actually pretty cool support. What bothered me was the tonality of the person speaking.

A similar situation happened later that day with the same individual, and I allowed myself to be bothered by their mood, getting defensive and returning some offensive marks from the point of reacting within myself.

I realise it is ridiculously absurd for me to take anyone's emotions or feelings personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limmitting my ability to hear and receive support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty taking supportive criticism when a being is speaking to me from within a starting point of frustration, irritation, agitation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for projecting blame towards the being giving me criticism,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mimic the emotional projection that was directed at me, back at the person who initiated emotion within their tonality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for spiting myself and another within mimicking behaviour that I do not think is acceptable behaviour and it is not how I would like to be treated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying treating another being not how I would like to be treated because they treated me in a way that I would not like to be treated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self righteous within my handling of the situations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the necessity in creating a self corrective script of support for myself after the first criticism happened where I had a reaction.  I realise and understand that, even though in a moment when I understand why and how a situation played out....that it is still a cool point of support as a a means of prevention being the best cure, for me to create a script as an effective remedy for handling a similar experience in the future, as like creating the necessary insurance for myself to not repeat a patterned behavior of self imposed limitation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself within reaction to the tonality in which I was spoken too.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not slowing myself down with breath in the moment the reaction came up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for immediately going into defense mode as like ready to fight.

When and as I see someone is agitated/frustrated/annoyed/angry with me, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand that taking the emotions personally is not going to assist and support myself in practically dealing with the situation. I direct myself to listen to the being speaking, without taking offense to their emotion, and I allow myself to direct the situation with common sense.

When and as I see myself being tempted to react with emotions, I stop and breathe and I realise and understand that my ability to learn and expand myself is compromised within choosing to have emotional reactions.  I direct myself to see what it is I can learn from the situation.

When and as I see myself on the verge of projecting projecting an emotional tonality towards another, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand that this is not how I would like to be treated, I realise and understand that it is not cool for me to behave in ways that I would not like to be treated, regardless if I am being treated in ways that I would not like to be treated.

I commit myself to treating others with my words how I like to be treated with words.

I commit myself to not taking offense to people's tonality.

I commit myself to creating a self-corrective script immediately after I realise a pattern I wish to prevent from happening in the future.

I commit myself to stop verbally abusing people.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting the diffusion of emotional reactions by embracing all emotional reactions projected at me and not taking the emotional projections personally.

I commit myself to stop allowing emotions/feelings to influence my stability.


I realise and understand that I will be tested many, many , many times to make sure I stop accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by emotions and feelings.

I realise and understand the ridiculous absurdity of accepting and allowing myself to mimic behaviour that I realise and understand is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to participate within behaviour I realise and understand to be unacceptable.

When and as I see myself about to participate within behaviour that I realise and understand to be unacceptable and not to be tolerated, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to smile, as I realise and understand I just stopped myself from accepting and allowing myself to tolerate abuse within myself.

Day 448 I Got A Lot of Work to Do

So, at the moment I have a lot of responsibilities and obligations on my plate...and I find myself here in this moment looking at all the work I have got to do...and I would like to take this opportunity to go into self forgiveness with regards to being steadfast in getting my work done...working through obligations, realizing the ridiculousness of getting emotional about all the work I got to do...and giving myself a script of support in working as what is best for Life as like enabling myself to be self directive in every moment as I realize and understand that every moment is important and equally valuable as Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having wasted ,moments of opportunity as self responsibility by neglecting to direct myself in the moment by physically moving myself. I realize and understand that as I move myself breath by breath and allow myself to immerse myself within the work I am required to do, breath by breath I bring my work into completion as I finish tasks/obligations by operating from the simplicity of the breath by breath as like not allowing myself to get carried away within past reflections and future projections...as like I realize and understand the gift I am giving to myself by moment to moment application of myself here as breath by physically moving myself in action in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making a big deal about having lots of work responsibilities on my plate right now...as like being bummed out that I don't have abundant amount of free time to just fuck around and do whatever I feel like doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking with my mental stability by entertaining feelings and emotions within myself with regards to work/responsibilities/obligations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating my work/responsibilities/obligations with feelings and emotions. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of of deliberately manipulating myself with feelings and emotions...by like trying to create an energy push within myself to move myself into action. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such self deceit as to manipulate myself with feelings and emotions as like believing I need feelings and emotions to act as  motivation for me to be able to move myself physically here....and within this I see and realize the irony, that creating feelings/emotions to motivate myself into movement...is in fact just energetic reactions which is in fact an abdication of self-response abled movement as self directive physical expression of myself here within my physical body.  I realize and understand that choosing to allow emotions and feelings to stimulate movement is an indication of self-suppression...as like making a statement that I cannot move myself without an energetic buzz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for searching for and desiring for particular energetic buzzes in order for me to do work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing myself to such an extent that I would abdicate physical self direction for a constantly depleting energetic buzz that never lasts and always just fades away.

When and as I see myself not directing myself with breath in the moment, I stop and breathe and I direct myself  to let go of energetic possession of feelings/emotions...and I give myself the gift of physical self expression free from the restraints of energetic possessiveness as feeling and emotions.

When and as I see myself avoiding to stay on task as to get all my work done, I stop and breathe and I direct myself to do what is the best thing that I can do for myself from and as the starting point principle of what is best for all Life is best for me, because I am a part of all Life.

When and as I see myself thinking I'll just take a bit longer break than I was planning to take because I am so comfortable and relaxed and I am really enjoying this break from work responsibilities, I stop and breathe and direct myself in getting back on task/to work as I realize my break from work is over and I got lots of work to do and that fucking around by taking extended breaks to avoid getting my work done is not cool and is in fact abusive to myself here.  I realize and understand that accepting and allowing even one point of abuse within myself...is like an act of justifying the suppression/abuse of all Life here...and that this type of behaviour is not acceptable....shall not be tolerated...and shall be stopped and corrected in the moment as I see and realize the points here as I learn to breathe effective as a physical expression of self direction in moment to moment management as what is best for Life.

I commit myself to using my current situation as a stepping stone of support...as like a present and opportunity for me to strengthen and enhance my discipline, my diligence, my steadfast focus, my breathing as my standing for Life Equality and Oneness as what is best for all Life is best for me.

I commit myself to self-forgiveness

I commit myself to becoming better.

I commit myself to hard work.

I commit myself to self-determination.

I commit myself to getting all my work responsibilities taken care of.