Day 501 Cell Phone Obsession

So lately I've noticed how I have been in the habit of quite religiously checking my phone for messages and emails. Like often I would do this before I get going on a particular priority/task/obligation that I am about to begin focusing on. What I noticed within myself is that this meticulously checking of my phone for new information has come from within a starting point of distraction and interference.  Like, I've accepted and allowed myself to look for distractions from getting right into commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking for distractions within my day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising my living daily priorities within the starting point of looking for distractions as possible escapes from daily priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thirsting for new information to distract me and keep me entertained for a moment as like a way for me to just put off physically moving myself within priorities/commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how it is unnecessary for me to be meticulously checking my phone for updates, emails, and messages...that for the most part I am not missing out on anything and that by giving myself a specific allocation of time to check these things...I do not have to be constantly thinking about checking these things...and I see that I can be more effective in managing my time and priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to miss out on the newest information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing consequence of not being up to date on the latest news and information.

I forgive myself for obsessing over receiving information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a habit out of constantly checking my phone throughout the day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for constantly checking my phone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to receive new messages on my phone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how much time I utilize within the day just kind of messing around on my phone, because I started looking at my phone from a a starting point of looking for a distraction/escape from getting started on a particular priority committed responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising myself within daily living priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying resistances within myself.


When and as I see myself looking for a distraction/escape from a particular priority/obligation/responsibility/commitment, I stop and breathe, I physically move myself into action/participation into and as the point I resisted going into.  I commit myself to focusing on the task at hand. I realise and understand that the resistance that comes up is like a form of interference that is created in my mind and is not not valid reasoning for me to not participate within physical decision to perform specific task.

When and as I see myself thinking that I should just look at my phone before I begin something, I stop and breath, I direct myself to let go of the point of checking my phone before I begin doing something. I get started within the particular point of focused attention.  I realise and understand the practicality of focused attention.

When and as I see myself wondering if someone left a message, I stop and breathe, I stay focused on the physical task I am engaged within, I realise thoughts that just pop up in a moment within my mind are a distraction to my physical participation here, and that I do not jump on trains of thought.

When and as I experience myself desiring to check my phone, I stop and breathe, I realise this desire coming up within me as a point of distraction from what I am physically participating within in the moment, and that the phone point is an escape/distraction presented to me by my mind.

I commit myself to stop indulging in distractions/interference's within my mind.

I commit myself to stop meticulously checking my phone for messages.

I commit myself to stop using my phone as a point of escape/distraction for physical movement priorities/responsibilities/tasks/obligations.

I commit myself to staying focused within physical movement priorities.

I commit myself to stop looking to escape physical movement responsibilities/priorities within my day by entertaining thoughts of distraction/escape.

Day 451 Study Memories

I can remember many instances where I wanted to do really well on a test at school and I said to myself, "Ok I'm going to put a lot of hours in studying so that I can make this a reality".  What happened in many instances was that I compromised myself from putting in the effort to get really good grades...I would begin working/studying...and then a thought/desire/want would come up within me as like a form of distraction from doing what would be to my best benefit long term...and in so many instances I gave preference to the feeling/desire/want/thought over the principle of hard work is it's own reward.


I see in so many instances how I have justified compromising the potential fruits of my labor...by neglecting to give my best effort.


I see in so many instances how I have pushed myself for myself and as a result I really enjoyed the fruits of my labor...like total self satisfaction.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the long term consequences that result from putting in my best efforts.  I realize and understand that prevention is the best cure...and that by preventing myself from not accepting anything less than my best efforts I insure that I harvest practical living support for myself and others here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being near sighted from the perspective of not wanting to consider looking at long term consequences....as like just wanting to focus on an immediate feeling/emotional impulsed need/want/desire that is here in the moment.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for picking and choosing when I will exercise my self-discipline.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of picking and choosing when or when not to be self-discipline...I mean what the fuck...why would it ever be cool to say no thanks discipline...i'm not going to showcase/live any self-discipline tonight/today/for a moment/this afternoon/this morning. I realise and understand that it's not cool to choose to disregard self-discipline.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having deliberately compromised self-discipline in moments for moments of impulsive desires/greed/


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sabotaging myself within choosing to deliberately refrain from exercising self-discipline in moments where I am experiencing impulsiveness to act on desires as a way of getting a reward/treat/feeling/experience that I would prefer to have.


When and as I see myself experiencing a temporary impulse for an immediate desire gratification, I stop and breathe and I direct myself to look at the big picture and possible consequence that may result from choosing a moment/path of instant gratification. I direct myself in seeing and realizing my self will as commitment to exersing the living of self-discipline as a way to enable myself to practically live and receive the fruits of my best labored efforts.

I commit myself to my best labored efforts.