Day 501 Cell Phone Obsession

So lately I've noticed how I have been in the habit of quite religiously checking my phone for messages and emails. Like often I would do this before I get going on a particular priority/task/obligation that I am about to begin focusing on. What I noticed within myself is that this meticulously checking of my phone for new information has come from within a starting point of distraction and interference.  Like, I've accepted and allowed myself to look for distractions from getting right into commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking for distractions within my day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising my living daily priorities within the starting point of looking for distractions as possible escapes from daily priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thirsting for new information to distract me and keep me entertained for a moment as like a way for me to just put off physically moving myself within priorities/commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how it is unnecessary for me to be meticulously checking my phone for updates, emails, and messages...that for the most part I am not missing out on anything and that by giving myself a specific allocation of time to check these things...I do not have to be constantly thinking about checking these things...and I see that I can be more effective in managing my time and priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to miss out on the newest information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing consequence of not being up to date on the latest news and information.

I forgive myself for obsessing over receiving information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a habit out of constantly checking my phone throughout the day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for constantly checking my phone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to receive new messages on my phone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how much time I utilize within the day just kind of messing around on my phone, because I started looking at my phone from a a starting point of looking for a distraction/escape from getting started on a particular priority committed responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising myself within daily living priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying resistances within myself.


When and as I see myself looking for a distraction/escape from a particular priority/obligation/responsibility/commitment, I stop and breathe, I physically move myself into action/participation into and as the point I resisted going into.  I commit myself to focusing on the task at hand. I realise and understand that the resistance that comes up is like a form of interference that is created in my mind and is not not valid reasoning for me to not participate within physical decision to perform specific task.

When and as I see myself thinking that I should just look at my phone before I begin something, I stop and breath, I direct myself to let go of the point of checking my phone before I begin doing something. I get started within the particular point of focused attention.  I realise and understand the practicality of focused attention.

When and as I see myself wondering if someone left a message, I stop and breathe, I stay focused on the physical task I am engaged within, I realise thoughts that just pop up in a moment within my mind are a distraction to my physical participation here, and that I do not jump on trains of thought.

When and as I experience myself desiring to check my phone, I stop and breathe, I realise this desire coming up within me as a point of distraction from what I am physically participating within in the moment, and that the phone point is an escape/distraction presented to me by my mind.

I commit myself to stop indulging in distractions/interference's within my mind.

I commit myself to stop meticulously checking my phone for messages.

I commit myself to stop using my phone as a point of escape/distraction for physical movement priorities/responsibilities/tasks/obligations.

I commit myself to staying focused within physical movement priorities.

I commit myself to stop looking to escape physical movement responsibilities/priorities within my day by entertaining thoughts of distraction/escape.

Day 448 I Got A Lot of Work to Do

So, at the moment I have a lot of responsibilities and obligations on my plate...and I find myself here in this moment looking at all the work I have got to do...and I would like to take this opportunity to go into self forgiveness with regards to being steadfast in getting my work done...working through obligations, realizing the ridiculousness of getting emotional about all the work I got to do...and giving myself a script of support in working as what is best for Life as like enabling myself to be self directive in every moment as I realize and understand that every moment is important and equally valuable as Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having wasted ,moments of opportunity as self responsibility by neglecting to direct myself in the moment by physically moving myself. I realize and understand that as I move myself breath by breath and allow myself to immerse myself within the work I am required to do, breath by breath I bring my work into completion as I finish tasks/obligations by operating from the simplicity of the breath by breath as like not allowing myself to get carried away within past reflections and future projections...as like I realize and understand the gift I am giving to myself by moment to moment application of myself here as breath by physically moving myself in action in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making a big deal about having lots of work responsibilities on my plate right now...as like being bummed out that I don't have abundant amount of free time to just fuck around and do whatever I feel like doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking with my mental stability by entertaining feelings and emotions within myself with regards to work/responsibilities/obligations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating my work/responsibilities/obligations with feelings and emotions. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of of deliberately manipulating myself with feelings and emotions...by like trying to create an energy push within myself to move myself into action. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such self deceit as to manipulate myself with feelings and emotions as like believing I need feelings and emotions to act as  motivation for me to be able to move myself physically here....and within this I see and realize the irony, that creating feelings/emotions to motivate myself into movement...is in fact just energetic reactions which is in fact an abdication of self-response abled movement as self directive physical expression of myself here within my physical body.  I realize and understand that choosing to allow emotions and feelings to stimulate movement is an indication of self-suppression...as like making a statement that I cannot move myself without an energetic buzz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for searching for and desiring for particular energetic buzzes in order for me to do work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing myself to such an extent that I would abdicate physical self direction for a constantly depleting energetic buzz that never lasts and always just fades away.

When and as I see myself not directing myself with breath in the moment, I stop and breathe and I direct myself  to let go of energetic possession of feelings/emotions...and I give myself the gift of physical self expression free from the restraints of energetic possessiveness as feeling and emotions.

When and as I see myself avoiding to stay on task as to get all my work done, I stop and breathe and I direct myself to do what is the best thing that I can do for myself from and as the starting point principle of what is best for all Life is best for me, because I am a part of all Life.

When and as I see myself thinking I'll just take a bit longer break than I was planning to take because I am so comfortable and relaxed and I am really enjoying this break from work responsibilities, I stop and breathe and direct myself in getting back on task/to work as I realize my break from work is over and I got lots of work to do and that fucking around by taking extended breaks to avoid getting my work done is not cool and is in fact abusive to myself here.  I realize and understand that accepting and allowing even one point of abuse within myself...is like an act of justifying the suppression/abuse of all Life here...and that this type of behaviour is not acceptable....shall not be tolerated...and shall be stopped and corrected in the moment as I see and realize the points here as I learn to breathe effective as a physical expression of self direction in moment to moment management as what is best for Life.

I commit myself to using my current situation as a stepping stone of support...as like a present and opportunity for me to strengthen and enhance my discipline, my diligence, my steadfast focus, my breathing as my standing for Life Equality and Oneness as what is best for all Life is best for me.

I commit myself to self-forgiveness

I commit myself to becoming better.

I commit myself to hard work.

I commit myself to self-determination.

I commit myself to getting all my work responsibilities taken care of.