Day 121 Older Men

Day 121 Older Men

 

So at work I noticed that I give the men that are older than me like an extra courtesy it’s like ive accepted and allowed a slight fear towards them...like in general its like I watch my tongue a little more and am cautious about what I say as like the thought exists within me that I don’t want to say the wrong thing...like its a fear that I could piss off older men with my words and that there will be confrontation and i don’t know if I could handle being challenged by the older men...it’s like a one on one encounter would cause no fear...but a group encounter with older men would invoke the fear within me as like the consequence to accepting myself as inferior to older men and allowing myself to live a mind fuck

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing being judged by older men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing older men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to impress older men

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having fear pissing off older men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fearing confrontation with older men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be inferior to older men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel and be awkward around older men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as older men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing not being able to defend myself from/against older men.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that older men are stronger than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing separation between myself and older men,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being an older man

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believ older men are superior.

I realise accepting and allowing separation causes difficulty in being able to be at ease with human interactions/communications.

I realise when I am uncomfortable/awkward there is a point of support there in seeing what it is that I am accepting and allowing that is causing me to be uncomfortable/awkward.

I realise old men are me in another life.

I realise myself as older men.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to feel awkward/uncomfortable in the present of older men...i stop and I breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing any separation between me and older men.