So, this evening I found myself waiting and looking for the right moment to begin writing my blog. this was a ridiculously absurd notion...as like the point was here...and it's like I was wanting a particular energy to direct me...and...momentarily I was allowing this waiting and searching for the right energy to influence me...as like I had this attitude of I don't feel like doing this writing here now...and I mean it's kind of funny because I always do enjoy very much writing here...so it's kind of ridiculous and absurd to see how I can stew within a thought/feeling/emotion/energy even for a moment.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my moment to moment management even for a moment.When and as I see myself neglecting to manage my moment here as what is best for all Life as my self-expression in and as self-responsibility and self-awareness here, I stop and breathe, I say,"I am here",,,I move myself into self-directive action and allow myself to practically live self-responsibility in taking care of myself here. I see/realize/understand that as I take care of myself from within and as the point of giving myself the best support and assistance, I develop and expand self-intimacy here which makes me better prepared to assist and support another as myself. I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself from moment to moment as a point of moment management from within and as the starting point of and as what is best for all Life.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the strain and tension within delaying self-responsibility within a moment of seeing the point that requires self-direction.When and as I see a point that requires self-direction, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here" I direct myself to do what is best within the moment as a point of self-honesty and self-trust. I see/realize/understand self-honesty and self-trust to be a in the moment practical living/working self-application that is based in and as the physical common sense here within and as the moment. I commit myself to self-honesty and self-trust within and as the moment of physical awareness here. I commit myself to and as self-direction as what is best for all Life. I commit myself to stop justifying strain and tension as a result of delaying self-responsibility within a moment of seeing the point that requires self-direction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the moments as the right time or the wrong time.
When and as I see myself judging time, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here"...I see and realize the absurd ridiculousness of judging my time. I see/realize/understand the absurd ridiculousness of getting lost within the judgement of time. I commit myself to stop jeopardizing myself here within judging time.
I notice that I am very flexible to re-adjusting/re-scheduling/delaying participation within particular engagements. I am questioning this flexibility because I see it as a false sense of flexibility in certain circumstances because the point of postponement becomes like a reasoned excuse to justify my self-diligence within particular moments where I require to be steadfast within staying on task and making something work.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to regard the consequences of postponement.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have used the point of re-scheduling/postponement in a self-deceptive manner.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become self-reliant on postponement as a way of coping with my accepted and allowed reality.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being lazy within and as my self-responsibility of and as my self-direction here in every moment.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for talking myself out of commitments.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing commitments.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using the point of postponement and re-scheduling as a way to avoid commitment.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dreading commitment.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards honoring myself-commitments.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating justifications as the reasoned excuses that I give value to.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing value within justification...and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness and self deceptionwithin placing value in justification.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the word "commitment" starts within and as myself here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that any particular area of my life where I struggle with commitment reflects and an opportunity/gift for self-expansion because by thoroughly investigating the dimensions of the point in question, I am able and capable to transcend my own self-induced limitations.I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having allowed myself to be influenced by positive and or negative energies as the source of reasoning/justification in order to orchestrate moments of postponement. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of irrationality within being influenced by emotions/feelings/thoughts that randomly come up that act as a trigger reaction in deflecting my self-directive commitment and course or practical living self-responsibility.When and as I see myself orchestrating reasons/justifications to change plans to accommodate thoughts/feelings/emotions that have just come up within myself, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand this reflects self-sabotage and that the root origins of my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions is fear based and that any resistance towards a particular commitment/task is a clear indication of the importance and responsibility of myself to step into the point of resistance and direct the point into conflict resolution as a result of effectively and efficiently walking through the resistance. I realize and understand that any time that I suppress a point of resistance/commitment, I am in fact perpetuating a cognitive dissonance towards that particular point and moving through the point will seem more tedious/difficult. I commit myself to stop suppressing points of resistance/commitments. I commit myself take self-responsibility for my commitments and to exercise the living of self-diligence within and as my self-commitments here. I commit myself to stop being flexible within and as the point of postponement from and as a perspective of being willing to deviate from personal responsibilities because of a particular thought/feeling/emotion energy came up within my mind. I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be ruled and controlled by thoughts/feelings/emotions. I commit myself to investigating my thoughts/feelings/emotions as I realize and understand the self-reflection within and as my thoughts/feelings/emotions as a way to expose my self-dishonesty here. I commit myself to self-correct my self-dishonesty. I commit myself to stop fearing to face myself dishonesty. I commit myself to be humble within facing my acceptances and allowances.
