Day 592 Postponement

I notice that I am very flexible to re-adjusting/re-scheduling/delaying participation within particular engagements. I am questioning this flexibility because I see it as a false sense of flexibility in certain circumstances because the point of postponement becomes like a reasoned excuse to justify my self-diligence within particular moments where I require to be steadfast within staying on task and making something work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to regard the consequences of postponement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have used the point of re-scheduling/postponement in a self-deceptive manner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become self-reliant on postponement as a way of coping with my accepted and allowed reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being lazy within and as my self-responsibility of and as my self-direction here in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for talking myself out of commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using the point of postponement and re-scheduling as a way to avoid commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dreading commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards honoring myself-commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating justifications as the reasoned excuses that I give value to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing value within justification...and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness and self deceptionwithin placing value in justification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the word "commitment" starts within and as myself here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that any particular area of my life where I struggle with commitment reflects and an opportunity/gift for self-expansion because by thoroughly investigating the dimensions of the point in question, I am able and capable to transcend my own self-induced limitations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having allowed myself to be influenced by positive and or negative energies as the source of reasoning/justification in order to orchestrate moments of postponement. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of irrationality within being influenced by emotions/feelings/thoughts that randomly come up that act as a trigger reaction in deflecting my self-directive commitment and course or practical living self-responsibility.

When and as I see myself orchestrating reasons/justifications to change plans to accommodate thoughts/feelings/emotions that have just come up within myself, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand this reflects self-sabotage and that the root origins of my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions is fear based and that any resistance towards a particular commitment/task is a clear indication of the importance and responsibility of myself to step into the point of resistance and direct the point into conflict resolution as a result of effectively and efficiently walking through the resistance. I realize and understand that any time that I suppress a point of resistance/commitment, I am in fact perpetuating a cognitive dissonance towards that particular point and moving through the point will seem more tedious/difficult. I commit myself to stop suppressing points of resistance/commitments. I commit myself take self-responsibility for my commitments and to exercise the living of self-diligence within and as my self-commitments here. I commit myself to stop being flexible within and as the point of postponement from and as a perspective of being willing to deviate from personal responsibilities because of a particular thought/feeling/emotion energy came up within my mind. I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be ruled and controlled by thoughts/feelings/emotions. I commit myself to investigating my thoughts/feelings/emotions as I realize and understand the self-reflection within and as my thoughts/feelings/emotions as a way to expose my self-dishonesty here. I commit myself to self-correct my self-dishonesty. I commit myself to stop fearing to face myself dishonesty. I commit myself to be humble within facing my acceptances and allowances.

Day 591 Self-Satisfaction

Satisfaction is pleasure/gratification/harmony within and as the physical alignment of the fact of the matter here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have self-sabotaged the living of satisfaction as pleasure/gratification/harmony within and as the physical alignment of the truth/fact of the matter here as a constant and consistent movement of and as my physical self-expression here. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I created, perpetuated and expanded the existence of disharmony within myself as a result of accumulating energetic impressions upon my memories.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which it is my urgent self-responsibility to release myself from my self-imprisoned disharmony as a result of the inner conflict that I have created throughout my life as my positive, negative and neutral energy/thought associations as the plethora of reactions that I have had in relationship to and as my participation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I can in fact live the word satisfaction as a point/tool/life support and assistance in walking the journey to life as the process of self-realization/self-forgiveness/self-corrective application. I realize and understand myself within and as Satisfaction.

When and as I see myself suppressing/self-sabotaging my self-satisfaction here, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand how ridiculously absurd this is, I face the point of self-suppression/self-sabotage, I commit myself to resolving the cognitive dissonance that exists within myself. I commit myself to self-satisfaction within and as the process of self-realization/self-forgiveness/self-correction. I commit myself to self-satisfaction,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing the living of self-satisfaction as what is best for all Life here.

I commit myself to living self-satisfaction as what is best for all Life here.

I commit myself to seeing/understanding/realizing how real physical self-expression exists within and as the self-trust of self-satisfaction here.

I commit myself to the pleasure/gratification/harmony within and as the physical alignment of the truth/fact of the matter here as what is best for all Life here.

Day 590 Sad is Faction

Continuing from my previous blog post

S-a-t-i-s-f-a-c-t-i-o-n.

Sat is past tense of sit. Is is past tense of be. Fact is the physical truth here. Ion is an atom or group of atoms.

Sit + be + the physical truth here + an atom or group of atoms = Satisfaction


Playing around with Satisfaction:

Sad is Fashion.....Sad is Faction.....it is sad when a disharmony exists because this represents a point of unresolved conflict...it is most unfortunate when unresolved conflict exists

Said Is Fact Ion...Said Is Faction

How can I live the word satisfaction as what is the absolute best?

Can the word satisfaction be lived in an unconditional sense...like as a movement and a commitment from moment to moment? Physical Existence. The Fact of the Matter. Here.

I see how I have compromised the unconditional living of "satisfaction" from moment to moment within and as a constant consistency. I realize and understand how defining satisfaction to exist within me as a conditioned nature that is linked to expectations and future projections that are charged up within my mind as positive energy is ridiculously absurd...and totally out of alignment as what is physically best for all Life Here.

I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself for Compromising the Unconditional Living of Satisfaction from Moment to Moment within and as a Constant Consistency of what is Always Physically Best for All Life Here.

I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself to Define Satisfaction to Exist within Me as a Conditioned Nature that is Linked to Expectations and Future Projections that are Charged Up within My Mind as Positive Energy.

I Forgive Myself for Accepting and Allowing Myself for not Realizing and Understanding how Ridiculously Absurd it is to Allow the Word Satisfaction to Exist within Me as a Conditioned Nature that is Linked to Expectations and Future Projections that are Charged Up within My Mind as Positive Energy.


To Be Continued.

Day 589 Satisfaction Question

I started questioning what is "satisfaction"?

Sat-is-fact-ion.

Sat-is-faction.

Sat-is-f-action.

S-at-is-fact-ion.

S-at-is-faction.

S-at-is-f-action.

S-at-i-s-fact-ion.

S-at-i-s-faction.

S-a-t-i-s-f-act-i-on

S-a-t-i-s-f-act-ion.

Sat-is-f-act-i-on.

S-a-t-i-s-f-a-c-t-i-o-n.

Sa-tis-fa-ction

Sat is past tense of sit. Is is past tense of be. fact is the physical truth here. Ion is an atom or group of atoms.

Sit + be + the physical truth here + an atom or group of atoms = Satisfaction



satisfaction in google dictionary has this to say:

noun

noun: satisfaction; plural noun: satisfactions

1. 1.

   fulfillment of one's wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this.

   "he smiled with satisfaction"

   synonyms:

   contentment, pleasure, gratification, fulfillment, enjoyment, happiness,pride;  smugness, self-satisfaction, complacency "he derived great satisfaction from his work" fulfillment, gratification; appeasement, assuaging "the satisfaction of consumer needs"

   • LAW

     the payment of a debt or fulfillment of an obligation or claim.

     "in full and final satisfaction of the claim"

     synonyms:

     compensation, recompense, redress, reparation, restitution,repayment, payment, settlement, reimbursement, indemnification,indemnity More

   • what is felt to be owed or due to one, esp. in reparation of an injustice or wrong.

     "the work will come to a halt if the electricity and telephone people don't get satisfaction"
   • CHRISTIAN THEOLOGY

     Christ's atonement for sin.
   • historical

     the opportunity to defend one's honor in a duel.

     "I demand the satisfaction of a gentleman"

Origin

Middle English: from Old French, or from Latin satisfactio(n-), from satisfacere ‘satisfy, content’ (see satisfy). The earliest recorded use referred to the last part of religious penance after “contrition” and “confession”: this involved fulfillment of the observance required by the confessor, in contrast with the current meaning ‘fulfillment of one's own expectations.’

To be Continued

Day 588 Personal Self-Interest?

"Do I fear letting go of my personal self-interest?"


Within looking at this question I see there are words I must investigate more in order to have a well rounded response/answer/solution here.

The words I am looking at here are "personal", "self" and "interest".

In looking at the words "personal self-interest", I ask myself, "is there any other kind of self-interest?" Can Self-interest exist beyond personal self-interest...or can Personal Self-Interest be expanded by enabling and harmonizing Personal Self-Interest to work congruently with Interpersonal and Universal Self-Interest?

Why have I primarily only regarded Self-Interest to exist on a personal level? Do I see and realize the disharmony that results from neglecting to simultaneously regard Self-Interest on a Personal/Interpersonal/Universal level?

Can Self-Interest exist and be aligned in and as personal/Interpersonal/Universal physical embodiment of what is best for all Life?

I'm questioning the outflow of my past behaviours from the starting point of neglecting to regard and consider Interpersonal Self-Interest and Universal Self-Interest...and how Personal Self-interest took precedence over the others.... the consequence of such an outlook participation is interesting because when the starting point of me/self is separation/private than the public good(s) is harmed in the process because of and as an unfortunate chain reaction... started from a place of dissonance...so this dissonance resonates throughout existence as my contribution/participation within and as our shared existence here.

Now, what I am noticing here is that it is important to get out of the singularity mentality as the either or of things...like one or the other...because we are in fact multi dimensional beings...and so there are always many facets/dimensions to see.

To be Continued

Day 587 Questions Give So Much Support

Continuing from my blog post, "Day 580 Gifting Myself Within Self-Reflection"


Here are questions that came up within me in my previous blog that require further investigation/exploration.


"Is it wrong for me to exist the way I have existed?"


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the right/wrong frame of mind. I realize and understand that existing within and as the polarity equation of right/wrong frame of mind is not in fact what living life self-expression is in fact all about. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of judging every action as right or wrong. I see and realize and understand this to be in fact a point of and as a conflicting reaction energy reality that perpetuates both the right and the wrong as like the right makes the wrong so and the wrong wouldn't be wrong without the right and it's just so limiting as like being caught within and as this inner turmoil war that is the fighting for peace as like trying to reconcile while not realising and understanding how holding the missile in pursuit of peace perpetuates the war of disregard within and as the two sides of the same coin kind of war that becomes a matter of subjective opinion that opens up and breeds questionable understanding because it creates and perpetuates this grey area mentality of this middle road delusion of the right and wrong being relative to where your standing and it's less than seeing the whole equation as it is what it is because of what is here and so, I commit myself to stop limiting myself within and as the self-appointed judgement upon my every action here as right or wrong within and as the realms of positive/negative energy persecution.

When and as I see myself questioning myself as am I right/wrong, I stop and breathe, I investigate why I am concerned with the valuation and definition upon a point of being defined as right and or wrong. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of moving about from and as a starting point of justification...like justifying the right or the wrong. I commit myself to stop the fighting within myself as the right/wrong divide.


"Am I trying to justify self-interested pre-occupation when in fact I exist in a time/space reality that requires extensive assistance and support in re-aligning the framework rules to support what is best for all Life."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying self-interested pre-occupations as a way to give myself an experience of contentment within and as a form of self-satisfaction that I am in fact right in doing what I am doing and therefore due to my righteousness I can garner a false sense of confidence because of the justification which I can utilize as the methodology to fuel the religion of self-belief from and as the perspective of my self versus your self as like this war/conflict that needs separation as the fuel/grease/oil to remain intact. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of utilizing justification. I commit myself to stop searching for contentment and self-satisfaction. I commit myself to realizing and understanding myself as the source of and as content and satisfaction here. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of creating a point outside of myself as the vehicle to transform the standing up of myself into and as physical sound ground in and as the harmonious balance of stability. I commit myself to trusting in and as physical self-expression as the key to me here in and as physical sound stability...existing beyond the limited dimensions of polarized energy equations of right versus wrong. I commit myself to practical living...and the question/answer to 'what is practical living' comes from within and as my self-trust here.

When and as I see myself consuming myself within self-interested pre-occupations that do not serve the best interest of all Life here, I stop and breathe, I investigate what I am avoiding to see, I face my accepted and allowed resistances/fears/conflicting energies and I take directive self-responsibility in sorting out the inequality that exists within myself. I commit myself to purifying my starting point for being/expressing myself here as Equality and Oneness.


To Be Continued with investigative exploration into and as the following quest-full questions:


"Do I fear letting go of my personal self-interest?"



"What else do I know besides my personal self-interest?"



"How would I exist here if I moved out of a desire based starting point of self-interest pre-occupation?"



"Should not the point of living here be for everyone to have the opportunity to investigate and explore their personal self-interests?"



"Why am I resistant to fully letting go of my personal self-interests when I know and realize our shared reality requires serious changes in order to assist and support all Life here as what is best? Would this not be a point of serious change?"



"Do I see how I argue for my own self-imposed limitation within justifying/desiring to spend my time within recreational/leisurely pursuits when our shared reality requires intensive labor investigative pursuits in order to stop the heinous abuse that is perpetuated as a result of disregarding what is best for all Life here?"



"Why have I allowed myself to regard my-self as separate from everything else here?"



"Is believing Self to be separate from everything else here  a way to justify the use of blame and abdication of personal self-responsibility and self-accountability?"



"Do I see how I have not really understood the extent of self-interest in the greatest most profound sense because I resisted living from the starting point of Equality and Oneness in every moment?"



"Do I see how self-interest from a starting point of self being separate from everything here creates a disharmony as a cognitive dissonance to the understanding and self-realization of what is best for all Life here...and how regard for self-interest in the most profound sense is the regard for what's best for all Life...as that's the best self-interest....the only real self-interest....because anything else is less than considering all Life One and Equal Here?"

Day 586 Justifying Self-Satifaction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for utilizing the point of self-satisfaction as a coping mechanism as a way in which I could justify that I've done enough and that I do not require to push myself harder.

When and as I see myself using self-satisfaction as a coping mechanism to in a way justify that I've done enough and that therefore validates/creates an excuse/reason for me to not do more, I stop and breathe, I see and the realize the resistance I am creating to doing more within and as a point of self-perfection, I realize and understand justification as a flag point to be aware of as a facet of self-dishonesty. I commit myself to stop creatingexperiences of justification for myself. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of justifying self-satisfaction. I commit myself to stop arguing for my self-imposed limitation within and as justifying my self-satisfaction.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating the experience of self-satisfaction as a positive energetic experience within myself that can be identified as a reward and rewarding.


When and as I see myself making self-satisfaction to be a positive energetic experience that can be identifies as a reward/rewarding, I stop and breathe, I take self-responsibility in releasing myself from and as the positive energetic experience. I commit myself to stop charging up and make believing self-satisfaction to be a positive energetic experience.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the frame of mind and belief that I require to be recognized with rewards because I have completed work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishments.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to exist within the frame of mind and belief that I require to be recognized with rewards because I have completed work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishments, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand the self imposed limitation within and as such a particular mind set as I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of perpetuating energetic friction within myself. I commit myself to investigate any reaction/judgement/energy in relation to the completion of work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishment. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of judging my actions/results with energy. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of perpetuating energetic experiences within myself as a result of judging experiences and desiring particularly positive energetic experiences. I realize and understand that desiring positive energetic experiences is a huge mind fuck because that creates an endless cycle of abuse where energetic conflict continues to build within myself. I commit myself to removing the energetic experiences that exist within myself. I commit myself to daring myself to take care of the positive energetic experiences/reactions that exist within myself. I realize and understand that it is by equally taking self-responsibility for the positive and negative energetic experiences/reactions that exist within my mind that I can in fact equalize my mind here as what is the best Life support.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of making myself believe that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on a vacation because i don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied and believe I've already done enough.



I commit myself to investigate myself whenever the point of self-satisfaction comes up within myself as a reaction/experience. I commit myself to stop using self-satisfaction as a justification and excuse. I commit myself to preventing superior/inferior ego frame of mind. I commit myself to stop desiring rewards. I commit myself to investigating myself and the experience I have towards receiving rewards. I commit myself to preventing myself from going into an energetic reaction in relation to receiving a reward/recognition for a point of my participation here. When and as I see myself telling myself I've done enough...as a point of reasoning to avoid doing more work/participation within a particular point, I stop and breathe and I push myself to do more work/participation within the particular point I have an obvious resistance to continuing to move myself within. I commit myself to stop avoiding/resisting to do my best work. I commit myself to walk points into completion. I commit myself to prevent giving up on myself.