Day 585 Self-Satisfaction Corrections

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgments about self-satisfaction and amusement.





When and as I see myself creating energetic judgments about self-satisfaction and amusement, I stop and breathe, I purify my vocabulary by removing the positive/negative energetic charges associated to the words "self-satisfaction" and "amusement". I realize and understand how points come up within my mind as a self-reflection of the conflict that exists within and as my vocabulary from and as the perspective of having associated positive/negative energetic charges upon words. I realize and understand it is myself-responsibility to purify my relationship with words back to a point of equality and oneness where the words stand pure and innocent here. I realize and understand how detrimental it is to exist with a contaminated vocabulary. I commit myself purifying my vocabulary. I commit myself to stop sabotaging myself within and as the acceptance and allowance of existing within and as the restraints of a contaminated vocabulary as a result of a reluctance to face the initial memory impressions I formed to particular words as thought/feeling/emotion energy resonances from and as within a point of conflicting friction.






I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how within investigating a point of introspection I have a tendency to polarize my findings as like right and or wrong within and as positive and negative energies.






When and as I see myself creating a versus scenario within and as my self-investigation/introspection, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand this is a flag point within myself where I am standing within and as a point of conflict...experiencing the pull and push of both energies existing within myself, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of justifying and validating both the positive and negative energies within myself. I commit myself to practically applying the tools of self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications to facilitate my release from and as self imposed energetic enslavement. I commit myself to stop getting lost within and as the pull/push of positive/negative energies. I commit myself to remaining stable within sorting out various energies within myself by remembering to breath...and slow myself down with breath. I realize and understand that it ability to see what is here clearly is suppressed when and as I forget to slow myself down with breath. I realize and understand the base nature of my programmed conditioned mind is to move quickly within and as energetic reactions/stimulation as positive/negative/neutral energies. I commit myself to sorting out the energetic layers within and as my mind consciousness system.







I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking self-satisfaction within creating a labeled self-definition/judgement upon a point with a polarity friction/conflict energy.






When and as I see myself aligning self-satisfaction within creating a labeled self-definition/judgement upon a point within a polarity friction/conflict energy, I stop and breathe, I see realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of continuing within such a capacity, I see realize and understand the urgency within stopping myself and self-correcting my structural resonance alignment here as I realize that to perpetuate a polarity friction/conflict energy within myself in any capacity is not cool as it is in fact self-harm. I realize and understand what I accept and allow within myself is a resulting reflection of what I would like and want for others to have...and so I realize and understand the self-responsibility in giving myself the best caring support and assistance in purifying the nature of my relationship here as by becoming one and equal with Life. I commit myself to becoming One and Equal as Life here manifested in physicality.

Day 584 Self-Satisfaction/Stimulation Correction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within relationships from and as the starting point of stimulation from and as the perspective of being a distraction and a point of creating the illusion of choice/freedom.




When and as I see myself being stimulated, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that my physical stability here stems from and as my breathing here. I realize and understand how I have gotten lost within moments of stimulation, where I am buzzing in my mind and totally not present for my breathing here. I commit myself to be present here for my breathing. I commit myself to prevent/stop myself from getting lost within moments of stimulation. I commit myself to understanding the dynamics of every point of stimulation that exists within myself. I commit myself to stop getting distracted from responsibilities/obligations within and as stimulation as a point of distraction/escapism.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating self-responsibility as a result of existing within and as relationships of stimulation from and as the starting point perspective of distracting myself from myself by fearing to investigate the nature of my thoughts/feelings/emotions.



When and as I see myself fearing to investigate the nature of my thoughts/feelings/emotions, I stop and breathe, I commit myself to investigating the nature of my thoughts/feelings/emotions, I realize and understand the self-support I garner from giving myself the opportunity of self-introspection/self-reflection. I realize and understand the process of self-investigation that I have embarked upon and that this is a most difficult journey to Life. I commit myself to gracefully walking the journey to life despite any difficulties I encounter along the way.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify existing within relationships.




When and as I see myself justifying my existence within a relationship, I stop and breathe, I investigate the self-deception within myself towards the point/relationship I am justifying. I realize and understand justification to be a point of self-deception. I realize and understand that I do not require to forge a connection as a like a make up a belief to validate my decision. I realize and understand the emotion/feeling instability of justification. I commit myself to stop creating justifications within myself. I realize and understand justification is a point of validating while trying to excuse and logically rationalize/reason/explain self-judgement to oneself. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of justification. I commit myself to prevent justification within myself. I commit myself to exposing the absurd ridiculousness of justification. I commit myself to educating people about the absurd ridiculousness of justification.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create self-manipulated logical reasoning as to why the meaning of my existence should revolve around this singular point of and as self-stimulation.




When and as I see myself justifying self-stimulation, I stop and breathe, I see and direct the window of opportunity here to change my course of actions, as I realize and understand justification is utilized as a point of self-suppression within and as a point of arguing for self-imprisonment. I commit myself to self-correct all points of justification as self-manipulated logical reasoning as to why the meaning of my existence should revolve around this singular point of and as self-stimulation. I commit myself to existing beyond stimulation.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making self-stimulation to be a point of conflict as either "right" or "wrong".




When and as I see myself judging moments of stimulation, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the impracticality of judging my experiences of stimulation/energy impressions, I realize and understand the stimulation is not about positive or negative stimulation but about me within and as the moment of stimulation as why I am reacting in and as that moment of stimulation...I commit myself to investigating memory impression experiences of stimulation/positive or negative energy. I commit myself to sorting out all conflict within myself. I commit myself to stop placing myself in conflict with myself as either right or wrong.

Day 583 Self-Satisfaction Corrections

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the single mindedness of me as ego, not realizing and understanding the singularity of me primarily existing as separate from everything else here.



I commit myself to Life Equality and Oneness



I commit myself to stopping and preventing the illusion of consciousness within and as the singularity of ego.



When and as I see myself existing within a point of ego, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that I am not trying to fight my ego of acceptances and allowances, but in fact work through my acceptances and allowances and make to self-correct my acceptances and allowances that are not in alignment with what is in fact in the best interests of all Life here.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed within my self-confined self-interest as a singularity separate from everything else here.


When and as I see myself distracting myself within self-interest as a point of my consciousness singularity, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the self-responsibility and self-accountability as what is best for all Life here. I commit myself to being meticulous within and as the process of self-investigation and self-introspection as to make sure that I dare to care about all of existence here. 



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not live the self-realization of and as the interconnectedness of everything here.


I commit myself to learning to  express myself within and as breath and function in accordance with the natural rhythm of my breathing here.


I commit myself to seeing what is here by effectively breathing here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being resistant to exploring self-intimacy within the question, "Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"


I commit myself to understanding and realizing how to practically live self-intimacy here within every moment here.


I commit myself to self-intimacy.


I commit myself to investigating my stimulation.


I commit myself to investigating my amusement.


I commit myself to realizing and understanding  myself here.

Day 582 Self-Satisfaction?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the single mindedness of me as ego, not realizing and understanding the singularity of me primarily existing as separate from everything else here.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed within my self-confined self-interest as a singularity separate from everything else here.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not live the self-realization of and as the interconnectedness of everything here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being resistant to exploring the my self-intimacy within the question, "Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within relationships from and as the starting point of stimulation from and as the perspective of being a distraction and a point of creating the illusion ofchoice/freedom.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for be abdicating self-responsibility as a result of existing within and as relationships of stimulation from and as the starting point perspective of distracting myself from myself by fearing to investigate the nature of my thoughts/feelings/emotions.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify existing within relationships from a starting point of fear/distraction/stimulation.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create self-manipulated logical reasoning as to why the meaning of my existence should revolve around this singular point of and as self-stimulation.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making self-stimulation to be a point of conflict as either "right" or "wrong".



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgments about self-satisfaction and amusement.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how within investigating a point of introspection I have a tendency to polarize my findings as like right and or wrong within and as positiveand negative energies.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking self-satisfaction within creating a labeled self-definition/judgement upon a point with a polarity friction/conflict energy.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for utilizing the point of self-satisfaction as a coping mechanism as a way in which I could justify that I've done enough and that I do not require to push myself harder.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating the experience of self-satisfaction as a positive energetic experience within myself that can be identified as a reward and rewarding.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the frame of mind and belief that I require to be recognized with rewards because I have completed work/jobs/tasks/activities/performances/achievements/accomplishments.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of making myself believe that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on a vacation because i don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied and believe I've already done enough.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating self-responsibility within and as my relationship to and as the the point of self-satisfaction. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I buried my actual potential for self-expression within and as the point of self-satisfaction because I made self-satisfaction to be a point of positive energy experience which cannot exist without more and more negative energy within myself.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the point of giving up from and as the perspective of validating the giving up experience as a result of creating a justification of self-satisfaction

Day 581 Self-Intimacy within the Question

Continuing from my previous blogs:

"Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"


I see here how in the phrasing of this question I was existing within the single mindedness of me as ego. Me as a self-interested singularity if you will...me as primarily separate from everything else here. Me within theacceptance and allowance that each being here exists within this starting point of self-confined self-interest as a singularity separate from everything else here. Obviously this mental framework is ridiculously absurd because there is self-evident interconnectedness with everything here.

There was some resistance within myself to exploring the self-intimacy of the question here.

Within examining this particular question, I looked at the point of self-stimulation as the means to generating self-satisfaction and amusement. Within looking at this I did not really want to regard the point that stimulation is an abdication of self-responsibility from and as the perspective of being a distraction and a point of creating the illusion of choice. Also within this point, I see how the justification has existed within myself to see a self-manipulated logical reason as to why the meaning of my existence should revolve around this singular point of and as self-stimulation. It is shameful to see that my preoccupation has been self-satisfaction and amusement.

I was looking at the point of self-satisfaction within our shared reality as a coping mechanism as a way in which one can justify that enough effort/work has been done...that there is a point of complacency as a point of acceptance within self that aligns within the mentality/belief that I deserve a reward now because I am done and satisfied with my performance/achievement/accomplishment and thus I am self-satisfied because I have made myself believe within my mind that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind...and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on vacation because I don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied...

So here I see self-satisfaction linked to a point of giving up...from a certain perspective...because it's like agreeing that I will not keep open the self-investigation any longer because I am satisfied with the result I have already receive...and I found what I was looking for and therefor if I find anything else...it will most likely be in direct conflict with my expectations and ego frame of mind as what I am looking for within and as amusement/stimulation.

So, obviously I do not particularly like to see and regard self-satisfaction as a grand illusion as the justified reason for an experience of greatness within myself. I mean I am kind of ashamed to see how I worked so hard to convince myself of my own justified self-satisfaction while abuse perpetuates itself everywhere as a reflection of the inherent system which I am a part. So I mean to see and realize that self-satisfaction is totally bullshit when considering that to be totally satisfied about anything when even a single point of suffering exists here is a cop out and total disregard for the well being of life...as like this is to say ya I am satisfied with disregard for the well being of all Life here...because hey check out what I've done...I've self-glorified my individual personification within and as the reward center of my mind and therefore I have validated and excused any doubt that indulging within various relationships from a starting point of self-stimulation and amusement is questionable activity.

I see here how the makeup of me here is in fact rooted within and as systems of self-stimulation. I see here how self-stimulation is like a point of amusement. Like there is an excitement component movement to it.

To be Continued

Day 580 Gifting Myself within Self-Reflection

Continuing from my previous blog:

"I teach a particular child once a week for many consecutive weeks and this particular child reflects the points that I have attempted to hide from myself and what is interesting about this...is that I've resisted to investigate the extensiveness to which this child reflects points that exist within myself. So much so, that in many moments I would simply try to ignore the sounds coming from this particular child, because I was trying to protect myself from facing the points of self-correction within myself that are most unfortunate...and in this way...I see and realize my minds tendency within my self-created auto defense systems as a way to prevent me from really facing the roots of a point within total self-reflection...

So this particular child so clearly embodies the point of stimulation for self-satisfaction and is quite effective in directing/orchestrating his own personal self-stimulation and amusement as his constant continuous motion without particular regard for how his desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around him."


I see how throughout my life time I've been quite effective in directing/orchestrating my own personal self-stimulation and amusement as my constant and continuous motion without particular regard for how my desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around me.



The questions come up within myself: 



"Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"



"Is it wrong for me to exist the way I have existed?"



"Am I trying to justify self-interested pre-occupation when in fact I exist in a time/space reality that requires extensive assistance and support in re-aligning the framework rules to support what is best for all Life."



"Do I fear letting go of my personal self-interest?"



"What else do I know besides my personal self-interest?"



"How would I exist here if I moved out of a desire based starting point of self-interest pre-occupation?"



"Should not the point of living here be for everyone to have the opportunity to investigate and explore their personal self-interests?"



"Why am I resistant to fully letting go of my personal self-interests when I know and realize our shared reality requires serious changes in order to assist and support all Life here as what is best? Would this not be a point of serious change?"



"Do I see how I argue for my own self-imposed limitation within justifying/desiring to spend my time within recreational/leisurely pursuits when our shared reality requires intensive labor investigative pursuits in order to stop the heinous abuse that is perpetuated as a result of disregarding what is best for all Life here?"



"Why have I allowed myself to regard my-self as separate from everything else here?"



"Is believing Self to be separate from everything else here easier to justify the use of blame and abdication of personal self-responsibility and self-accountability"



"Do I see how I have not really understood the extent of self-interest in the greatest most profound sense because I resisted living from the starting point of Equality and Oneness in every moment?"



"Do I see how self-interest from a starting point of self being separate from everything here creates a disharmony as a cognitive dissonance to the understanding and self-realization of what is best for all Life here...and how regard for self-interest in the most profound sense is the regard for what's best for all Life...as that's the best self-interest....the only real self-interest....because anything else is less than considering all Life One and Equal Here?"

Day 579 The Question in Hearing and Seeing What is Here

It's interesting and shameful to see my relationship to and as what I hear within a moment. Why? Because I've noticed that in certain moments what I hear resonates so painfully clear with what I have accepted and allowedwithin myself. What's interesting to see within these particular moments of hearing here is that there is a point of profound self-reflection and the opportunity to assist and support that unfortunately gets misdirected within taking offense/defense to what I here...where the point of my self-reflection and self-introspection gets lost within and as my self-judgment as how I have defined what is here as separate from myself...and within this point of accepted and allowed separation, I see and realize that I react within the various realm of self-judgement, because it is as I define a point separate from myself and believe another to be separate from me that there real shame perpetuates because it's a point of hiding within myself where I want to focus on controlling another through the realms of my own self-righteous judgment where I have defined me as right and another as wrong and within this the point of seeing and communicating I am at a cross roads of sort...an accepted and allowed conflict...because what I hear here always exists within me...because if we regard the point of relativity and the point of how I hear as a reflection of my ability to process within myself...what I always here is therefore a reflection of me here.

So what I am starting to realize and understand is the unfortunate chain reaction that happens from time to time as the perpetuated play out in the interpretation of self-defining-judgment within and as how I hear here. 

I have been continuously given tremendous support from children with who I am grateful for the opportunity to work with on a daily basis teaching skiing.

I teach a particular child once a week for many consecutive weeks and this particular child reflects the points that I have attempted to hide from myself and what is interesting about this...is that I've resisted to investigate the extensiveness to which this child reflects points that exist within myself. So much so, that in many moments I would simply try to ignore the sounds coming from this particular child, because I was trying to protect myself from facing the points of self-correction within myself that are most unfortunate...and in this way...I see and realize my minds tendency within my self-created auto defense systems as a way to prevent me from really facing the roots of a point within total self-reflection...

So this particular child so clearly embodies the point of stimulation for self-satisfaction and is quite effective in directing/orchestrating his own personal self-stimulation and amusement as his constant continuous motion without particular regard for how his desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around him.

To Be Continued