Day 793 - Mind Superior Royalty

“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lock myself up within my word relationships in such a sneaky and deceptive manner of self-trickery that I resist to even speak or write about it....because the pain of self-condemnation as an Inferior and an Imbecile is heart breakingly embarrassing to myself as Mind Superior Royalty who is Superior to such characterizations and behaviours.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the significance of my words and world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist taking authority for my world and words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate direction to misalignment within and as my word and world relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss the extent of my errors and suppression within and as my relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor really extensively investigate myself within and as my words as the science and structured signs of myself here as how I have specifically created myself to be exactly as I am in this moment here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how I created my world through and as the specific impressions i created within and as the words within myself and how it is my words that are in fact very questionable always as my words are the explanation to why my world is exactly the way it is. I realize my words are not valid as an excuse of justification for why and how I am here within and as the world. I realize who and how I have existed within and as the world as been an excuse and justification, in a way, my ignorance and incompetence, a lack of Life regard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking stimulation externally to charge myself internally as how I have conditioned my preferences within my mind for feeding off of my physical body from day to day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust within my thinking as how to best feed off my body for energetic highs and lows as to give me the perfect chemical concoction i desire in the moment to satisfy a seemingly internal and external craving for more and more consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the addiction i have created within and as my mind to feed off myself, my life, all life as an energetic kick back. Conflict.

Tension for the attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to crave the continuous pulsation of tension within my body to feel something, because without a constant stressing and straining in way of engagement i have an experience of being unfulfilled.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to get my fill of consumption, a point of tension in creating rifts, conflict, as various forms of self-abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how extensively integrated my conditioned behavior and personality is for destructive self-abuse...and therefore world abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to get real, make the daily commitment to deconstruct my constructions of word/world relationships that i exist in and as separation to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck around with actually living words for real and creating myself and world as I would like.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make believe that really investigating myself within and as Words is something that is not totally necessary....is entertaining and enjoyable but at the same time a lot of effort and work and therefor avoidable and personally i rather go about this process of word/world entanglement in a less than organized and structured manner because the task and process is overwhelming to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed with the process of word and world entanglement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that i must think of everything before i can really do anything.\

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself back from playing and working on Potential developments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how One in fact goes about Creating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist being totally self-honest with myself here and that I haven't understood Creation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear looking inferior to others in my understanding, knowledge and application of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to penalize myself within and as a result of conditioning myself to be controlled through fear of not Knowing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the process of Know thy Self, is to in fact stand in the face of Not Knowing, and to from here, Walk, take the steps to: Investigating, Learning, Asking Questions, play and work with things so that I know.

Day 792 - Royally Fucked

Royally Fucked

“I realize all forms of Inferiority and Superiority are essentially the same thing as points of self-suppression and that it's like Inferiority is less suppression than superiority....where superiority is superior suppression. Funny to see the irony of suppression within Inferiority and Superiority where it's Inferior suppression and Superior Suppression.....like fucked and double fucked.”

“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become so used to being royally fucked that I experience myself as uncomfortable in being less than royally fucked. Where being less than royally fucked, feels strange and almost embarrassing and shameful...where i should want to fuck around more so i can get back to being royally fucked. The irony is profoundly fucked lol.”

The Fact that within our world we have the word “Royalty” and “Royal” is an indication of the ingrained Debt Servitude relationship as Inferior and Superior. This is showcased well as the basis of energetic conflict within and as Mind. Polarization. Friction. Battle. War. Slave Mentality.

What do I mean when I say, “Debt Servitude”?

Servicing and Creating Debt. In Service of Debt. Like Debt is the Superior and the Service is Inferior. Where the Debt and the Service need each other to exist...because it's like a point of both being incomplete without the other one...and so each is bound, bonded to the other.

Relation Fucked. Meaning, the basic framework in which relationships are designed is within and as this debt based construction of More than and Less than. Money has become the medium to support the servicing of charges. Energy is another expression and outflow of money. Meaning, Our positive feelings and negative emotions as our relationships to everything here.

Why Relation Fucked?

Relation Fucked, because the basic mode of conditioning, our behaviour within and as mind set up has been, Royally Fucked. Ironically, it is because of our own Accepted and Allowed Royal Acclaim. And our own accepted and allowed Royal Servants. Where each is a manifested representation of ourselves here in all ways and our reaction/impression about it, is like valid confirmation for mind justification in continuing to mine and mind the feeling and emotion about what we see....because what we see is what we are...and it's been going on for so long as the Specificity in Definition Impressions. Where it's like we just layer and layer and layer the Self-Deception. Only, we don't regard our behaviour necessairly as draconian...but more of a sort of human evolution of our greatness...and that our greatness is just very complex and sophisticated like our intelligence...I mean deception. Cough Cough.

Where am I going with this bit, “Royally Fucked”

It's a point of self-reflection for me in and as the world here. Where I am in the process of taking responsibility for all characterizations of myself here. Removing the Separation existent within myself as how I separated myself from all characters here by believing myself to be an individual character that is totally a Separate Setup from all other characters here. See, it's interesting because we have the whole spectrum of characterizations within ourselves...and it's a range of vocabulary and a range of feelings and emotions...just as we have a range of colour here that makes up the spectrum of colour. Point of Investigation is ourselves here as Life.....What is Life...Life is Sound. So in really investigating through words the structure of myself and the world, word by word in a way where I can specifically investigate how I have articulated...made my artistry into the point of ecstasy excretion through perpetually suffering and torture,  making slave labour by keeping my Body and Beingness in a state ingrained debt servitude to my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I created the design and definition of Royalty within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how the definition of royalty existent within my body and mind as supported the world as a whole being exactly the way it is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to really go into myself to see who and how I am existing within and as my mind as Royalty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face myself as Royally Fucked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny and suppress myself here as Royalty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the suppression of myself as Inferior to Royalty because of various phrases such as: “its just the way things are”, “there's just royalty and non royalty”, “our family just isn't the royal one”, “not everyone can be royal”, “Royalty wouldn't exist if everyone was royalty”, “royalty is a necessary position and part of our world and society”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into conflict with “Royalty” where I would be angry and frustrated with the status of the world, my words, myself here....while most of the time, only projecting my disgust outwards onto others I define as Superior to Me here in this world as for instance the Queen of England and her Royal Family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame people in this world who are regarded as Royalty for the problems within and as the class system of inequality existent within humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to fight against the world out of frustration for my understanding of the relationships that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to really take the time to place myself as each individual thing here....to really stand in and as each One here in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created a preference towards conflict and destruction over collaborative structured creations. I realize the ridiculousness of fighting for my limitation. I realize that working together is to get things done...is to actually move as the point of democracy here...in making things happen as a result of weathering the weather as a result of creating the ripple that is the momentum that moves the current which is currency which is our weather system which is our water which is our weather, which is our environment.

I realize I like to use synonyms for words, as this is like this and this is like this and this is like this....I realize this is a support in seeing how words are capable and able of supporting and assisting each other in working and playing together as a form of compliment and complimentary action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my usage of words and how I create the flow of my words in sentence structure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the judgment and condemnation of others for the flow and presentation of myself here in and as Word.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become apathetic within and as my Words...specifically the structuring and the sounding placement of how I lay things out. I realize I created an apathy towards practically structuring my reality. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create Apathy within myself....and within this, justify the suppression of my ability to structure and create new Potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lock myself up within my word relationships in such a sneaky and deceptive manner of self-trickery that I resist to even speak or write about it....because the pain of self-condemnation as an Inferior and an Imbecile is heart breakingly embarrassing to myself as Mind Superior Royalty who is Superior to such characterizations and behaviours.

To be continued

Day 791 - Inferiority and Money

 I found some self-forgiveness writing I had done some time ago on "Inferiority and Money".  Interesting, I had some resistance to sitting with my words here.  So here they are:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and superimpose this sort of inadequate self-acceptance in relationship towards money and activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put pressure onto myself to explain my financial situations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to question being vulnerably open about money and expenditures.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to brag about wealth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a sort of inferiority/superiority character construction play out in regards/relationship to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an experience of inferiority within myself where i experience a sort of needing desire to explain myself to another in a way where they see me as all sorted out...well put together and well taken care of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be very concerned about how others regards and perceive me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created a Want,.....specifically a Want to be regarded and perceived in a certain manner.....a manner where I am generally regarded as Superior to others....especially in regards to matters of Money, and quality of Life, and overall Well Being, and Intelligence/Awareness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project competition outside of myself from a starting point of separation where I create a want to explain myself to others from a a starting point of separation.....where within this, I go into the experience of justification as an outflow form of belief...in believing i must say this and this so that so and so knows this and that about me...and so they can perceive me in this way.

Asking myself what comes up...why the resistance here?

The Fear of Seeing myself within acceptances and allowances that are less than admirable in my own mind.

In my own mind I am great, the most superior, even in points of skill development i haven't yet developed, the belief is there that i can if i want to, that i can do whatever I want, that i really don't have many limits or walls on my physical ability....and for me it is simply a matter of making a decision to do whatever it is I want to do.

My general Attitude is that I get what I want. If I want it, I got it. My will is my way. I can figure out any problem.

To Investigate myself acceptances within Inferiority is an Unmasking of myself as the hiding I created as a sort of defense mechanism within my mind...to in a way, keep me locked within an Elitism mentality of Self-Righteousness where I keep the Fight for Survival alive where I am always superimposing myself as a Winner in relationship to the deep down self-acceptance of myself as a Loser.

This goes deep into myself here, and the seriousness of competition I place upon myself as like the pressure and buildup i carry around and let loose....though it's interesting because it's like I have held myself back from being One and Equal as Life here, as my Potential to be a Real Team Player, because of this point of Inferiority....Inferiority to such an extent where i dismiss and discount myself. So much of this has been hidden from me in really seeing clearly, because I always deflected self-responsibility, self-reflection away from myself and built up a wall of self-denial in so many ways....where it's like I've always been trying to be clever in building up my defenses within myself where I can mess around.

Ironically, this messing around and avoiding the deep seated truths of myself has been anything but easy. Sure, I've made things look easy at times, but it's been an act of sorts to play down an effortful performance. It's like I've become an expert in deception. Specifically specializing in self-deception, Masking myself disregard, accepted inadequacy with Superiority, and self-imposed greatness as a sort of religious belief about myself that was logically justified one day as a result of the thinking, 'this makes sense, if i am to be great, i must believe myself to be great, i must say it” Within this, there is some coolness....but, not all the way there, because i didn't totally own these words as myself, where i didn't totally live this as me...it's like i just took on a glossed on the top attitude and persona of greatness to cover up how I've really felt about myself for a long long time....so long that i didn't even understand how I could accept and allow myself to be Inferior. I didn't even know what Inferiority was, but I took it on. I accepted it within my mind....and from that moment it's like I've been in an internal conflict of Inferiority versus Superiority where Superiority must triumph over Inferiority to self-validate the experience of worth while and valuable. To be wealthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the irony of Inferiority versus Superiority where Superiority must win because it's like the experience of Inferiority is Superimposed within Superiority to existing as Super Inferior, where it's the experience of being Better, Winning, feeling more than that which you define as Less than. Which, is quite funny in and of itself because it's like hey, “I'm going to fight for my limitation here....see I've defined myself as 'less than' this particular thing...and so I am going to fight to become even less than this particular thing....but I will feel mighty and powerful over this point i accept and allow myself to be Less Than....So much so, I will trick myself into existing as 'more than'...and it will be gloriously victorious”

I forgive myself to suppress myself within self-definitions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the extent to which i suppress myself within my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to superimpose suppression upon myself as a result of resisting to investigate and in fact purify my word and world relationships where I see I exist in some sort of Inferiority or Superiority.

I realize all forms of Inferiority and Superiority are essentially the same thing as points of self-suppression and that it's like Inferiority is less suppression than superiority....where superiority is superior suppression. Funny to see the irony of suppression within Inferiority and Superiority where it's Inferior suppression and Superior Suppression.....like fucked and double fucked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to being less fucked than I previously was.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become so used to being royally fucked that I experience myself as uncomfortable in being less than royally fucked. Where being less than royally fucked, feels strange and almost embarrassing and shameful...where i should want to fuck around more so i can get back to being royally fucked. The irony is profoundly fucked, lol.

To Be Continued with: “Royally Fucked ....Maybe, Just, Royally Screwed”

Day 790 - Addiction

What Do You Know About Addiction?

Addiction:

Addition of Diction. Diction is the choice and use of words. Notice with any Addiction there is a specific Affinity about a particular Action. Within the Action which is a form of participation, there is a specific choice and use of words...about the particulars within and which make up the activity.

What makes Addiction difficult to Stop?

Not realizing the specific definitions giving to the experience that results from feeding the addiction.

See: The definitions of the experience is within our words and our emotions and feelings.

The way the relationship is fuelled is from a starting point of Internal Conflict. The Addiction, meaning the action and participation within a certain type of behaviour, is perpetuated by having created a Need to get this Fix. “A need to get this Fix”.

How an Addiction becomes Itself in reality?

Repetition. Repeating the same actions over and over within oneself to generate a very specific Experience. Scientifically, it is a form of Suppression and Depression.

Why is Addiction a form of Suppression and Depression?

Because the Life-force of the body is being hosted by the mind relationship to get an Experience. Specifically, Chemically...it is a form of self-created custom designed Ecstasy Heroin, which is completely individualized as your preferred High.

Why is Stopping Difficult?

Not understanding How. What do I mean by that? How to actually give yourself permission to do what you want. See: when your relationship towards moving and doing things is from the starting point of Addiction....being compelled from an experience within yourself....you just do it without any effort....because you are motivated unconsciously to chase that feeling.

Judgement. Stop the Judgement. Judging yourself within your addiction just perpetuates the build up.....build up, meaning the energy friction conflict within yourself that has become dependent on getting this fix.....this fix being a very specific experienc.

Notice this dimension: “getting a fix”

Deep Deep down within yourself is the acceptance and allowance of yourself as 'Just Not Good Enough', 'Inadequate', 'Inferiority', 'Anger', 'Frustration' and 'Irritation'. (there may also be other specific words deep down....but these are core words that fuel this self-created problem)

Someone who recognizes they have an addiction is usually somewhat aware of these core points mentioned above.

However what is difficult to do...and is often missed and over looked is the flip side of the coin. Meaning all the positive experiences inside yourself. The energetic Highs. Positive energy. See: It is actually this desire to get a High...whether the High experience comes in the Form of an Upper or Downer or Trip-Out experience is irrelevant. It's a specific individualized self-created custom high experience.

How to Take Care of Yourself in Stopping Your Addiction?

It's a matter of getting a divorce. A divorce, meaning, putting a stop to the agreement that's been created about the Addiction.

See it's all in the words.

Start with writing about How much You Love the Addiction. Why you Started Doing it. Your experience right now, may be experienced more Like Hate....that you Hate the Addiction....But if you self-honestly look back to when you started, You Loved It!

So, No judgment.

Write out what you love/loved about it.

Take your time, Go into it. Make Notes.

From Here, You start understanding the relationship you have created....that in it's very nature it's extremely charged. See the real test of character....self-honesty here is the willingness to go into the Positive....what you like about it.....because, it's easy to want to sort of Hide and Deceive and Delude and Justify with words.

Understand that many people look for reasons outside of themselves as to how they can stop. It's interesting, because this can be effective....but it isn't the recommended way to go....because you go further into Inferiority inside yourself through self-projected Superiority....you know, being a Hero, or a Martyr...A real “Good Person”. And the fascinating thing, is that people will recognize you as that point.....so now it's like you've just transmutated the addiction into another channel/avenue to continue feeding the fix experience. Ironically enough....it's like even more secret...and less obvious to even yourself....because the point is now further layered into you.

So,

The way out of the addiction is a matter of Word Regard. Go all the way within opening up the Good and the Bad. In doing this, One can remove the HYPE...the energetic build up....See it's a Balance of the Good and the Bad....The positive energy and the negative energy.

Day 789 - TRUST and SELF-TRUST

TRUST and Self-Trust

In Asking myself how do I define Trust, What comes up within me is Honesty, meaning my truth and responsibility. I take the meaning of Trust a step further into myself as Self-Trust...myself as It....and so Here is where my Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility are.

In opening up my investigation into Trust, I questioned whether or not there was any other Key words to support myself within and as Trust. What came up is: Confidence, Ability, Strength and, The Assured Reliance on the Character.

The Assured Reliance on the Character; Confidence, Ability, and Strength.

What Jumps Out at me Here is STRENGTH

In Questioning: Why have I had moments of difficult within and as Trust/Self-Trust?

The Answer: Moments of Weakness. I did not allow myself the truth of myself in moments of weakness. Meaning, I did not completely understand the dimension of Strength within and as my Trust. I resisted allowing myself to really face myself as How I am Living Who I am.

This lack of regard for my Strength became a massive point of suppression within myself. See, without Strength it is difficult to turn weaknesses into strengths.

What has now opened up for me is Understanding and Realizing the Complimentary Nature of: Self-Trust, Self-Honesty, Self-Responsibility, and Strength. Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand what it means to live Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss any regard for Strength within and as Trust and Self-Trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the complimentary structured support within and as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how I've abdicated Strength of Character as Who I Am as Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself here as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how my mind has been showing me my Weakness within and as Strength. I realize my mind has shown me my weakness within and as Strength/Self-Strength as a result of how i've been accepting and allowing relationship judgments of Characters as either Inferior or Superior.

I realize the polarity game of Inferiority and Superiority, reveals self-accepted and allowed Inferiority. This is so, regardless of whether or not You believe yourself to be Superior or Inferior in relationships. Stop it.

I commit myself to stand within as Self-Trust. Self-Trust being my self-assurance in who I am here as self-honesty, self-responsibility and Self-Strength.

I realize my ability to live words effectively as Who I Am, is a result of How I Give meaning to the words I speak. I realize I must first question and understand the meanings of my words if I am to ever establish Clarity and Purity within myself here as Life.

I realize the process of word investigation is a process of self-intimacy that is unique to each individual.

I realize and understand the self-satisfaction within purifying....fine-tuning an imperfection within my Word and World Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand that when I struggle within making decisions, it is a result of have conflicting charges existing within my words. I realize and understand the solution is within investigating the specifics of each word in regards to the problem. What I mean by Problem...is the Decision that has become stuck within a point of Indecision. Ironically, I realize that Indecision is also in fact a Decision.

When and as I see myself making a decision to exist within Indecision, I stop and breathe, I Ask myself, “Is this practical for me to make the decision of Indecision?” I realize that taking the time to make a decision is in fact a decision for indecision. This is so, in the sense that I am allowing myself to test things out, take time to sort things out...to see and investigate all considerations involved within the Focal Point of being faced with a Decision.

I commit myself to simplicity within and as my word and world here.

I realize, Life Simplicity is the Key to Me. Life Simplicity is Specificity. Specificity is Self/Life Regard.

Day 788 - Attitude

The Tune of where You are at.  It's like a status update. Attitude in it's fullest sense is a complete range of expressions....from high to low in octave...or the other way round....or any other which way for that matter.  From pleasant to scary to everything else in between.

The Gratitude of Attitude is to live Great your Attitude.  What does this in fact mean?  It means simply,  to own it.....because guess what, You are It.  Tag, each is always it....whether you like it or not.  And in the recognition of realizing that sometimes you will not like things, it is more than OK to express that disgust in a moment.  In fact it is a reality check into one's own self-honesty....a genuine point of self-intimacy.

A point of attention here is the culture of minimizing and perpetuating conflict....where it's like people love to hate conflict...yet perpetuate conflict as a means of trying to minimize it....as like,  'just let me drop the last bomb and then I'll stop'.  So much so this has become the narrative within our Words to each other, as so much so, This is a reflection of our inner narrative expressed externally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take Conflict personally as an act of War where I either go into Defense or Offense.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to marginalize Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard myself as Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within and as a Positive Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist a Negative Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate my Best Words as a result of being possessed within and as a Positive Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear a Bad Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take a Bad Attitude personally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Separate myself from the totality of Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to control my Attitude...and to Fear my Attitude getting out of control if I let go of Control over my Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Inferiorize myself within Control of Myself.

Let's Look at that last sentence here again:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to inferiorize myself within Control of Myself.

How am  I controlling myself....my attitude? Fear.  
How So? Conditioning my attitude to my wants based upon my desires which are rooted in the fact that I have knots within myself...as the things i don't want to experience as myself here...and so enter in the attitude and overall nature of Control.

I see Attitude as like the Weather, our Expression through our body from moment to moment as Our Stand here.  It is a point of Self-Confidence and Individuality. Someone who is a Self-Confident Individual, does not fear the Expression of themselves here.  This is where the enjoyment in sharing comes in.  I mean really have a look at what prevents the living of Attitude.  It is the Fear in and as Vulnerability.  Why?  Because you are exposed completely. Who, how and what you are in a moment is Here.  It is the Judgement we have conditioned to our Structured Sentencing that Fucks Ourselves into Oblivion, Because our Words have been abused like Codes we haven't taken the time to fully understand or realize.  Consequently resulting in and perpetuating our own Bullshit and a Greater World of Bullshit.  How can this Be?  It's because of our capacity to be Deceptive. We've dressed up and hidden our own Bullshit to such an extent that we Gloss over it and Misinterpret Ourselves and Others as a Result of Our Own Hiding and Fearing the Brutality of our very worst Disguise. Ironically, here lies the Design of Demise.

Day 787 - Creating Structure(s)

Lets have a look at Structure:

Our time is structured....whether we like it or not. Obviously depending on our time management and regard for our responsibilities and allotment of time...will reflect in the quality of our minute to minute structuring of our days within time.

Activities are structured.  Say you play a sport...there's a certain structure to it that makes it the very sport/game you play.  Television is structured into a specific amount of time....same with movies.  Also consider here the stories are structured in a way of a timeline.

Money Is Structured. What do I mean?  I mean lets say you use a bank, there's banking structure.  Also, how much money you receive from work that you do is often structures by an hourly wage, an annual wage, a commission per sale, and or by specific contract.  Each point showcasing a particular structured design.

Our Thoughts/Feelings/Emotions are structured. What? Have a look...if you investigate the details into one of your thoughts....you can see that it corelates to much about yourself in one way or another. Same with the feelings and emotions.  They have been conditioned into ourselves in very specific ways as a result of how we have acted and reacted in response to stimuli in our environment.  Basically how we have been conditioned to process information from the time we were born.  Interesting investigation into the structure of our thoughts/feelings/emotions....because in using our words as a point of source identification....we can explore further by seeing what connector words are associated to the core words that come up in relation to a thought/feeling/emotion.

Point I am getting at here is:  Everything exists within and as Structure. Notice how something that is well built is checked by the engineer to make sure that it is Structurally Sound.


Creation is therefore all about Structure.  Anything we do has that point of structure to it.  Even within the regard that we create new structures by learning and knowing...understanding old structures.  Because with this insight we are able to fine tune the structuring of things in ways that are great.  Though ironically enough if we look at the world of business, many products are being made more and more inferior in and as the quality/durability of their structure.

I have started Playing with the creation of Structures in my day to day living.  How so?  Specifying specific amounts of time to begin new projects.  I am keeping it super simple. So i've decided to test these specifc structures over the course of 1 year. Yup one year.  The structures I have set up are small investments of time on a daily basis. 5 minutes or more.  I set the stop watch and I immerse myself within the point for 5 minutes...or a bit more if i decided to do so.  Though the point here is in seeing for myself how many things I can create with very small investments of time on a daily basis.


See the interesting thing here is that the learning compounds everyday.  So, lets look more closely at the 5 minute investment each day.  Lets take 7 points of Interest. that's 35 minutes.  Each day for 365 days. That's  1825 minutes per point. now say you pushed yourself and you did 7 minutes on each point.  Keep in mind, you dont have to do these things, one after another.....you could have 7, 7minute blocks spread out throughout your day.  That doesn't seem all that difficult. That would equal 2555minutes on each project/investigation point of discovery.  Now the interesting thing here is obviously you could push it further if you wanted to.  Say you get 10 minutes on average....because you just can't help but want to do more once you've started this fun structure setup you've created for yourself.

The emphasis here is that their is tremendous growth potential when and as you create a structure where you build on your own momentum on a daily basis.  It's a cool discipline in short term focus for long term benefit.

So just figured I would share some of my structured investments that i've embarked upon. 



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist creating structured supports in my day to day living. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how supportive it is to create many structured points of support for myself in my day to day living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my tremendous creative potential within creating specific structures within my day to day living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget about Play in relationship to Structure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have forgotten about being a small child who was extremely satisfied to spend time on the Play Structures.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how setting up specific structures within my day is allowing me to Create Structured Play Time in a variety of ways.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how creating specific structures within my day to day living creates and supports the harmony of a balanced work/play creation.

When and as I see myself resisting one of my specific structures I have setup to support my day to day living, I stop and breathe, I realize that moving into the structure and playing and working with it will be fun.  That the time commitment is short and totally doable.  I realize that these specific structures i have setup in my day to day living are long term investments that yield a rich harvest.

I commit myself to the fruits of my labor.

I commit myself to using Structures to support my best potential.

I commit myself to using structures as a platform to Create and develop myself in ways in which i would like to expand and grow.

I realize by creating structures for myself I am creating a sort of recipe book of my own success.

I commit myself to living passion within the specific structures i have set up.

Day 786 - Play Forgiveness Solution

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how the very sounding of my words in a playful ways supports me within using the tool of self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the self-trust required in order to live the word play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how if I in fact integrate a word within myself as a cool point of physical support......i in fact have this word as a tool....an expression....to exercise my best responses as my self-responsibility in living the words that I am.

I realize words are alive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to complicate my ability to Play in any given moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to underestimate my ability to play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to restrict my ability to Play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, nor understand that our creative potential exists within and as our ability to Play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself back from being playful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress Play because of what comes up as energy within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to censor my ability to Play as a result of fearing and worrying about others in my reality judging me, not understanding me, and or thinking i am weird.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist playing within giving explanations to others where I can clearly see a misalignment and conflict is existing as the relationship communication exchange.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to complicate my ability to play....move, flow as a result of thinking to much about things....instead of just trusting myself to be myself here within and as movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking i need direction from my mind as thoughts in any given moment in order to function/move/play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that all words are not totally connected....and that it is necessary for polarity to exist in word relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself in conflict within myself as a result of creating disharmony within and as my world/word relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear playing and working with disharmony.

I realize working and playing with disharmony is a necessary step in creating and substanting harmony ans the living of words.

I commit myself to the process of substantiating my reality with the harmony of my words.

I realize the potential to play is exponential here.

I commit myself to playing with what I say.

I commit myself to using words as a support in unlocking points of suppression existent within myself.

I commit myself to working and playing with words....from both a point of listening and speaking....and within this...investigating who and how I am within the words.

I commit myself to share the awesomeness of playing with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist sharing my experiences of playing within and as the movement of myself here as self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to share myself here as Play.

I commit myself to PLaying

Day 785 - How Do I Live Play?

 


Play - Let's start with a basic definition:

"Activity engaged in for enjoyment and recreation"


Lets Play with a few more basic definitions and questions to bring forth insight to our creation potential that is existent within enjoyment and recreation.  But first - Notice, how 'recreation' sounds and spells like "re-creation"....a sort of re-play....our creation....our play.  Isn't that Interesting! Interesting in the sense that we are the starting point of creation here....and our capacity to play, is a result in and as our potential to create.....because the best playing...the best work is in harmony together.....because it's the sort of ying and yang balance happening here. Don't think about what I am saying here...just keep reading....



Is it possible to enjoy work?
Yes 



What is a basic definition of "work"?
"physical or mental activity in order to achieve a result/purpose"



Is it possible to Enjoy whatever you make the decision to participate within?
Of course it is!
It's our decision!
If We are not enjoying our-self within what we are participating within, we are doing it wrong and need to adjust our attitude/outlook, because it is a decision and a direction we give ourself.
(my realizations)



What is Enjoyment?
"the process of taking pleasure in something"



"because enjoyment is in relation to something....it is always shared.  Obviously you can share with yourself!" (my realization)



What is Activity?
"the condition in which things are happening or being done"

"It's basically impossible for nothing to be happening within Life itself....because the simple fact that We are here, Means; We are always engaged within various activities.  Granted, it is possible to experience a sense of, 'nothing is happening' based on having an idea of purpose/direction and not engaging within it.  This is a self-honesty question at an individual level.  Because all Life in and as the very design is physically engaged....physically manifested here as structural sound." (my realization)


What does it mean to be engaged....besides planning to be married?
"busy; occupied"


But what about being serious and disciplined....is there room for Play to exist here too?

"Of course there is! Even in the most serious of situations within yourself...the world....it is to your best benefit of yourself and all Life to be at play....you know to enjoy yourself within the process of the work and or stress you are experiencing.  Whoa...i jumped to work and stress as like being common points of seriousness and discipline, and yes this is true....these words are often synonymous with these things...and when directed accordingly, can in fact be quite cool.  But how? By accepting and allowing our-self to enjoy the work/stress we are experiencing....and allow our-self the freedom to enjoy the structure we give to our life by being serious and disciplined. Dare I say, Play with it!
(me)


Have You ever noticed how our relationships with words has an effect and influence on our ability and capacity to move/participate/play/engage/enjoy ourselves here?

"Yes, we either create an awesome platform of support...a jungle gym of awesomeness to play and move around freely or we don't - meaning, we don't create a sound platform playground to enhance our ability to derive pleasure from our moment to moment management.  I mean the 2nd option is kind of a bizarre consequence we create for ourselves as a result of reasoning and justifying why we should experience a lesser version of ourselves and need to suffer within our physical bodies....like an inferiority complex of sorts."
(me)

Life is Here. Life is always happening.  When One says nothing is happening, it means: to be separated from all Life that is always happening here.  Obviously there is degrees of separation here....where we fragment our tune/alignment with life happening here.  When we specifically say, 'it is not happening here....We are in fact accepting and allowing our-self to not realize and understand our-self as it.  This results from fear. Because, the reality may not be pretty...in fact, it may very well be disgusting and shameful. Shameful is a key in seeing for real...because when we realize the shame of our acceptances and allowances that are less than our best....we can adjust accordingly and realign/realize our-self here as Life always happening.  Let us commit to the best life happenings.

I like to take a moment and have a laugh when I realize what I was doing is ridiculous and out of alignment and tune with the best version of myself.  I regard myself here as Destonian, playing with the redefinition of myself here. Creating harmony always. A work and play indeed. That way it is always good....because it is the process of investigating all things and keeping what is good. Sometimes i fuck shit up and don't realize the goodness of something....and then i separate myself as the point because i don't understand....but then, ....i realize the point, because i have made the decision and the commitment to always like the process of self-investigation here. I mean, life is always happening here and i choose to be in tune.  #the-art-of-fine-tuning 

Day 784 - "Let me Tell You"

Communication is a really fascinating endeavor, Isn't it?

I mean, an Endeavor can be regarded in a Plethora of ways, can't it?

Where am I going here with my focal point?

Let me tell You:

I've become aware that in many instances I have communicated from a starting point of "Let me Tell You", with a specific emphasis on the positive feeling or negative emotion that comes up within me connected to a desire to say my piece about whatever the point in question happens to be.  In many instances, my telling is a suppressed form of sharing....because my starting point has often been conflicted to some extent.  Not always, but in many instances...Like, specifically when there is an urge to say something...You know, that experience of I got to tell you this now...like oh man, i was triggered by something you said and now i got to let you know what i think about that.

And within this starting point of "let me tell you", there's a whole range of emotion and feeling reactions.  Some of them are subtle and some are intense, and some are somewhere in between subtle and intense.

Who really cares about the quality of communication anyways?  I mean, isn't the most important thing that we just say whatever it is that comes up within ourselves?  You know, like, we are all just shit shooters....shooting shit at each other and making a big deal about shit that isn't really substantial but is just inflated shit that has no real core depth about it...you know, that surface and petty bullshit being flung around.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak from a starting point of being worked up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thing the importance of what i have to say is determined by the energetic build up inside myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard the quality of my communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-sacrifice quality of words for quantity of words...as like in a way sexualizing my vocabulary and just wanting to get a rise in a way....so it's like how many times times can i get off, a rise, feel an energetic high and get a release with what i say.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the extent to which i have justified speaking a sort of venom within my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify spewing shit/venom because of the experience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recycle participation within energetic mindfucks within myself.  I realize my capacity to effectively live the accounting for my words here, because i am here within and as my words everyday.  I realize my responsibility to investigate the purity of my words and sounds.

I commit myself to purity in thoughts, words and deeds.

I commit myself to investigatng the purity of my thoughts, words and deeds.

I commit myself to listening to the quality of my sound.

I commit myself to substantiating the equality and oneness of myself here.  I realize my sound in and as my words is a cool cross reference check point.

Day 783 - Real Time Learning/Movement is Always Here...Where Have I Been?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create resistance and hesitance within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how much opportunity and support is available for me in every moment here in so many ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress Learning within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand my potential to Learn and for Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create judgements about learning particular things.....like thinking I can and cannot learn from so and so or such and and such.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to inferiorize my Learning and movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I created stagnation within and as my learning as a result of accepting and allowing myself to Fear moving myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how synonymous Learning and Movement are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose sight of myself within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the conditioning of inferiority as a built up resistance towards movement/participation within activities in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the irony of Inferiority......where inferiority exists as a result of not physically moving oneself into a direction of self-accountability for one's acceptances and allowances in regards to a particular point....and therefore by choosing to 'not move', knot one's movement potential and response-ability...and therefore submit into the status of mind movement activity of inferiority as like creating one's own inner turmoil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my capacity to play and work effectively is very much directly related to my enjoyment and openness to Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be closed minded with regards to Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self-righteous about Learning...and therfore ironically suppress my learning ability and potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in conflict about Learning new things....where I have a resistance and hesitance to actually dare myself to move myself and play for the fun of it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the fun within Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the play within Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my creativity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my creativity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my appearance and vulnerability within learning something new.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-sabotage myself.

Day 782 - Learning - Relationship Awareness

 



Some cool Insights here:

It is possible to get tremendous insight from someone who is not well versed in the technical mechanics and advanced vocabulary of a subject you are well versed and studied within. Here exists a tremendous opportunity that is often over looked, in favor or 'professional' opinion.   See, everyone has a natural learning ability and has the grounding basis of common sense reasoning with them.  You know, the point of "keep it simple".

I had a first hand experience with opening up and regarding the input of others who i may have previously disregarded because they didn't fit the 'pro' status and necessary accreditation i've been conditioned and accustomed to seeking out as a point of Authority to validate and reason about a sense of clarity within myself.   Ironically, the waters within myself as the information about the particulars of a point often become more muddied within seeking out the info from the 'pro'.

Note: my example i am going into here, is in specific relationship to golf....however it can be reflected and regarded in many different relationships and activities. Note, I am not dismissing the practical support in seeking a professionals opinion in whatever field you are investigating.  I am moreover, bringing awareness to the 'flip side' of the same coin....the support of the 'amateur'.

So for instance, with Golf as an example here:  It is a common thing to get one's own swing rather discombobulated within the process of "trying/wanting to fix it".  The irony and kicker here is of course, not realizing and understanding the mechanics of one's patterned conditioned behavior. The awareness of one's movement. Meaning, the input and the output.  When I accept and allow myself to do this, the resulting outflow is this. When you understand how to do something, you can also, equally understand how to do something else.  However it can be extremely frustrating, and massively irritating when You do not take the time to understand what you are doing (accepting and allowing)....but at the same time you have defined it as a problem/bad/wrong....and you want to fix/correct it.  See, how can you correct something that you don't know what it is? Funny isn't it?  Here we have the frame work into structuring our plans/goals/wants/desires. The Creation recipe book in a way. 

See, it's within and as our understanding of what we got/have that we are able to create new complimentary additions for ourselves and others here. The Fine tuning of our movements/relationships here, enables us to work and play with the development of our best results.  It's like a a regard for stretching into our potential.  See, improvement is made with regard for little movements. The awareness here for both the big and the small.  The big movement is a result of many small points in motion. Take walking as an example.  It's something we can easily do. We learned it through playing/working on it, and balancing ourselves out within the process, where we had to become aware of all of our stabilizing points....you know, our equilibrium. "Our Feels"...the physical feels of our physical movements here.


To Be Continued

Day 781 - Go for It - The Movement and Moment of Doing

Taking the Time Here to Recognize the Act of Making something Happen....You know, that moment of Doing, That moment where you make the decision to move yourself for yourself....you know, because you see a possible play here and you want to make it work.....So, You go for it.

Now, timing is a funny thing in the act and moment of doing...because we play/work in time and it's the fine tuning of our actions in time that assists us in seeing the results of our creations here.  See, there is so many ways for us to move ourselves and some ways are more efficient and others are less efficient...and some just are not in relation to being efficient or inefficient....they just are simply what they are and there is no competition or friction about the play and working of oneself in motion here.

I'm recognizing a correlation within myself with regards to my attitude in mind and my ability to move myself physically. Like, specifically....what I mean is the me here within and as my Beingness here as the Player who exists within and as both Body and Mind...but is also the decision maker...and word regulator.....sound technician..the story writer author of my movement/physical life here.

Writing with this regard towards physical movment, sounds kind of strange and sort of obscure....because it's like a mind fuck of sorts that comes up within me...like this conscious thinking that i've always been moving myself this whole time...this whole life of mine.....But the reality  and truth of myself is in fact a lie of sorts, because I have come to understand that me as the Being Player here hasn't always been calling the shots and making the plays for myself here....it's like I've been taking orders from myself as my mind as consciousness/ego, a lesser version of the best of myself here as my Beingness Signature and Expression in every movement and moment.

I had a my weakness come through in my mind this evening as the thoughts about how I could let slide my writing of my blog this evening.  The fact of the matter here as me from the core of my Being here, is that I really do enjoy expressing myself through writing....I enjoy the flow of connecting my sounds through the addition of words in and as the formation of sentences coming together to share the flow that exists within and as the inside of me outside as like a sort of weather and temperature thing....the waterfall that is me. Hmmm, maybe i need to play and work within this temperature thing as the water that is me....that sounding of how that came out doesnt seem quite right....but hey maybe that's because there is an inkling of an inclination to stop myself and censor myself from actually moving myself within and as my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop myself from moving/living my potential as a result of not realizing and understanding the mechanics of  my mind consciousness programming where I talk myself out of doing/moving and continue within and as thinking within and as mind consciousness. I realize I am in the process of getting to know myself for real....because it's like to a certain extent as I aged throughout my life here...i learned to cover myself up and hide the truth of myself as like my Beingness sound signature here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being made fun of and being embarassed as a result of sounding unfamiliar and or out of tune with what is typically already known and obvious within and as basic programmed predicatable behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist stepping outside of my comfort zone from the perspective of expanding my potential and my life as my home here...as like the movement of myself here within and as how i challenge myself-development here.  I commit myself to learning.  I commit myself to making improvements within and as my work and play time here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and know the truth of myself here as words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself within and as my words from and as the perspective of Ego Mind Consciousness as the real disregard for my well Being Here in and as my physical Body.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect awareness for myself within and as word and world here as my vocabulary and my physicality here...as like all is part of my self/flesh here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the amount of times I make a mistake before I got the point within myself as a complete knowing and understanding that I can share and explain the various relationship dynamics/mechanics of and as the various states of motion that one can experience within and as the mistake where one reacts within  one of the many realms of intenseness as a result and consequence of our emotional outflow....where we are in fact allowing ourselves to be self-victimized by our very own reactions of Ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear letting my ego go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not now what it is like to live always without  the thoughts of self-sabotage as the thinking my way out of doing something.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding how the trap of my mind as ego within and as consciousnesses energy was to over think things for myself...as the specifics of talking my way out of actually doing anything....because you see...I am quite capable and able to talk my walk as i write myself here...and the fact of the matter is....that as I write...I see myself here for real...is like as I write...I can hear myself loud and clear...as like the me that has always been here...yearning to be heard as the voice that has been suppressed in favor of self-suppression as the fear ego mantra of submission in energy patterned behavior of various dimensions of polarized constructions, also know as the war between good and evil picked from the tree of knowledge.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand myself as the Tree here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick on myself and others from and as the starting point of bullying where I cut myself down as like not allowing myself to grow and develop where I have the potential to branch out and blossom in a whole assortment of ways that are seemingly unimaginable.  I realize myself here as a tree. I realize to see myself as what I previous could not perceive myself as, is a great assistance in expanding my perspective and perception of and as my capacity for developing my very own personal self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding the terror of self-inferiorization....as the parasitic vampire like self-inflicted condition of twisting and turning words around within the mind to reflect the feeling and or emotion of the moment...and to be so convinced that is the totality of myself ability in the moment that I don't want to even question my status update, because the fear of not being real is so real that desire and urge to be accepted by anyone other than myself is so great....because ironically, the definition of authority has been transmuted outside of self...myself here.  I commit myself to re-establishing myself here as Authority and Author of myself here as the Director of myself here,,,and I commit myself to share with others how self-direction is a matter of self-regard and the willingness to speak for real on behalf of yourself here making a stand for all life here as one and equal.

I commit myself  to stop slacking off in regard for my words here...and within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to isolate myself into inaction as a result and consequence of fearing  the moment of moving myself within and as the practical application of myself living words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my creative capacity for self-developing solutions that are great.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my potential here as a creative solution developer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard...and really disassociate myself with the word "Developer"

I commit myself to playing and working with the word  "Developer".

I commit myself to delving...and diving into and as the practical living of my potential within and as the word "developer"


To Be Continued

Day 780 - Awareness in Inter-Action

How Aware am I of my Every Interaction?

Are my interactions like various forms of debts I take on? Is this the very case and point, if I in fact accept and allow less than what is Best for myself as All Life here? Could it be that I am the source of myself/existence here? And, Each exists as the very same source point of Existence Here?

Is considering all as One and Equal a tough pill to swallow?

Have I conditioned myself within my behaviour and various specific types of Interactions to Suppress the Regard and Practical daily Living of the Realization and Understanding of Myself/Life as Oneness and Equality?

Do I fear Oneness and Equality?

How can I Stop the conditions of my Behaviour and various specific types of Interactions that suppress the regard and practicality of the realization and understanding of Oneness and Equality?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist examinations of all moments/interactions/participations/behaviours where there is an energetic movement and resonance existent within me as a point of dissonance from the realization and understanding of Oneness and Equality, as the meaning and understanding that we are all one here alone as beings here and every being here is a part of team life...and all parts of team life are valid....and, energetic polarity is the fictitious facade of our mind consciousness we made a real big deal of, and is in fact a reflection of our very own self-deception that keeps ourselves...our Team Life here, divided and conquered to a certain extent,....while, ironically, “trying” to win...not realizing how we are beating ourselves up and down in the process. I realize the ridiculousness of fearing to physically hurt our mind consciousness. I realize the ridiculousness of fearing to lose our mind consciousness. I realize the ridiculousness of trying to hurt or lose our mind consciousness. I realize and understand the dichotomy of existing within a love and hate relationship of energetic extremes as the spectrum of emotion and feeling from the lowest low tonality to the highest high tonality and pitch. I realize and understand that our sound here without the taint of consciousness separation, as a polarized conflict within word relationships is in fact our true nature and the truth of ourselves here...and the irony of our suppression's and potent expressions. I realize potency in expression is in essence the simplicity ourselves here existing in and as sound....here...on point...our starting point....the end point....the point of everything.....the creation point.....Oneness and Equality.....Oneness and Equality together as One....the unity of and as our agreed upon harmony of words as our complimentary physical living actions, which are creative by the simple fact of our very existence here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect and disregard the accounting / housekeeping for all of my words I share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect and disregard the accounting and housekeeping for all of my words that I have charged.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for to neglect and disregard the accounting and housekeeping for all the words that are directed to me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist taking self-responsibility for misdirection in and as the best usage of our words....where for example it is clear to me that a word is being leveraged in a very charged way. I see realize and understand that leveraging words in a very charged way require attention and specific direction and clear definition and terminology need to be established through the engagement of clarification on meaning. I see and realize myself responsibility within and as practical living Word and World regard through the daily practical living of Questions as Who, How, What, and Why of myself/Existence/Creation/Life Here. I know the “Where” Question is always a matter of Here...though for a practical point of regard in specificity in daily living Questions to my utmost potential and to make for detailed structure in story telling my Quests, I see the value in and as the inclusion of “where” within my basic Questions I practically live every day here.

I commit myself to daily practical living of the Questions, Who/what/where/why/When/How? I commit myself to being open minded to the arrangement and ordering of my basic simple Questions of: What, Where, When, How, Why, and Who? I commit myself to expanding myself within and as the Asking of Questions. I commit myself to using the basic simple questions outlined here as a basic framework and structured support system and network for networking the specificity of any particular point of investigation. I therefore realize and understand that I am capable and able to to figure out the particulars/specifics of anything and everything. I realize and understand there is a plethora of ways within and as the very nature of all ways...and that asking questions is a way to create one's life here in a way one would like to live.

I commit myself to investigate my fascination and interest within points/relationships/interactions/words.

To Be Continued