Day 789 - TRUST and SELF-TRUST

TRUST and Self-Trust

In Asking myself how do I define Trust, What comes up within me is Honesty, meaning my truth and responsibility. I take the meaning of Trust a step further into myself as Self-Trust...myself as It....and so Here is where my Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility are.

In opening up my investigation into Trust, I questioned whether or not there was any other Key words to support myself within and as Trust. What came up is: Confidence, Ability, Strength and, The Assured Reliance on the Character.

The Assured Reliance on the Character; Confidence, Ability, and Strength.

What Jumps Out at me Here is STRENGTH

In Questioning: Why have I had moments of difficult within and as Trust/Self-Trust?

The Answer: Moments of Weakness. I did not allow myself the truth of myself in moments of weakness. Meaning, I did not completely understand the dimension of Strength within and as my Trust. I resisted allowing myself to really face myself as How I am Living Who I am.

This lack of regard for my Strength became a massive point of suppression within myself. See, without Strength it is difficult to turn weaknesses into strengths.

What has now opened up for me is Understanding and Realizing the Complimentary Nature of: Self-Trust, Self-Honesty, Self-Responsibility, and Strength. Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand what it means to live Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss any regard for Strength within and as Trust and Self-Trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the complimentary structured support within and as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how I've abdicated Strength of Character as Who I Am as Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself here as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how my mind has been showing me my Weakness within and as Strength. I realize my mind has shown me my weakness within and as Strength/Self-Strength as a result of how i've been accepting and allowing relationship judgments of Characters as either Inferior or Superior.

I realize the polarity game of Inferiority and Superiority, reveals self-accepted and allowed Inferiority. This is so, regardless of whether or not You believe yourself to be Superior or Inferior in relationships. Stop it.

I commit myself to stand within as Self-Trust. Self-Trust being my self-assurance in who I am here as self-honesty, self-responsibility and Self-Strength.

I realize my ability to live words effectively as Who I Am, is a result of How I Give meaning to the words I speak. I realize I must first question and understand the meanings of my words if I am to ever establish Clarity and Purity within myself here as Life.

I realize the process of word investigation is a process of self-intimacy that is unique to each individual.

I realize and understand the self-satisfaction within purifying....fine-tuning an imperfection within my Word and World Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand that when I struggle within making decisions, it is a result of have conflicting charges existing within my words. I realize and understand the solution is within investigating the specifics of each word in regards to the problem. What I mean by Problem...is the Decision that has become stuck within a point of Indecision. Ironically, I realize that Indecision is also in fact a Decision.

When and as I see myself making a decision to exist within Indecision, I stop and breathe, I Ask myself, “Is this practical for me to make the decision of Indecision?” I realize that taking the time to make a decision is in fact a decision for indecision. This is so, in the sense that I am allowing myself to test things out, take time to sort things out...to see and investigate all considerations involved within the Focal Point of being faced with a Decision.

I commit myself to simplicity within and as my word and world here.

I realize, Life Simplicity is the Key to Me. Life Simplicity is Specificity. Specificity is Self/Life Regard.

Day 756 - Blogging/Vlogging Consistency FuckUp

 


Consistency is so much so a constancy point as something that is always here as a result of certain regularity if you will....like clock work kind of thing in the scheduling...the point re-occurrs...resurfaces and is here again and again and again...I mean hey, look at breathing that is a cool point and example of regularity of continuous constant happening...but even within the act of breathing in....there is the stop in the breathing out...as like you are going one way before you go the other way...and there's the in between also...as like the transitional pivot and pause like moment which can be described as a sort of hold in the moment where you catch yourself in the pivot/transition and sort of look before immersing fully in the movement...the pivot/transition/hold in the breath is the stop so to speak...kind of thing.

Where am I going with what I am saying?

I am talking about the point of regularity in action and specifically relating to the point of my blogging and vlogging. 

I have showed myself how to blog/vlog with great regularity....and i have also showed myself how to blog with great irregularity.

The irony of course is that both these points are so much so the same. The same difference if you will. The will to do...or The will to do something else...or perhaps...The will to do not...Either way there is a Doing'ness Will at Play here...and We either make the decision to Do or to Knot the Do....because, because, because...and the reasoning and justification is profoundly specific and unspecific at times as a result of the reluctance to really check and cross reference the questioning of oneself and the capability of self-response ability that is possible. 

Again the irony here.....where there is a Will there is a way....a way to do...and a way to do not....the donut of do knot...i mean do not...as like the reason.  What's so interesting I am seeing here about Reason...is the mind point interpretation here of time and willingness....from the perspective that i have participated within the various degrees of reasoning as 'to do' or 'not to do' either way a sort of do at play/work here within the specifity of my choice decisions...and it's this sort of choice that I have allowed to exist as a way for me to exercise a way out kind of thing...as a way to get out of a responsibility that i rather do very much enjoy...And within this I have shown myself that I do have the capability and ability to make a point of writting/blogging/vlogging as a daily point..even when the schedule is so very full....even when I was living in a bush camp working 14-15 hour days...I was able to manage the point of writing...granted within the bush camp scenario my uploading blogs was more labor intensive as i didnt have a direct line to the internet, which resulted in me requiring to post many blogs at one go when i went into town...or because i had written on paper and i moved the words from paper to online format.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating reasons as knots in my capacity to do something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the conflict that is so much so at the center of my reasoning within and as the choice this way or that a way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get into polarizing points of action within myself from the perspective of being at a sort of war within and as the rat race of winning/losing based on how I am feeling/experiencing myself within and as a moment of reaction/reasoning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilize the word Reason for less than greatness in action.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I can utilize Reason as a complimentary aid/tool in and as the creation of greatness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the scope of creativity that is possible within and as words when I in fact remove the conflict from and as the words as the accepted and allowed dissonance that prevent the seeing the whole realm of possibilities as ways in which to move/live as the word here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming slack within the point of responsibility in sharing myself in writing and vlogging as I walk my process journey to life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding back my capacity to give myself  the best responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a sort of dissonance towards my blogging/vlogging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating reasons as to why I cannot vlog/blog with great consistency/regularity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I created the net of my knot in which i trapped myself wihtin and as my own intent as the reasoning of and as my course of actions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to be creative in making the time and space to utilze a few moment here and few moment there throughout my day to capture a point of sharing as a sort of highlight in my blogging/vlogging to mark down in and as my process journey here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively so, I am capable of producing great results.

When and as I see myself faced the choice of to blog or not to blog....and I see myself going into an emotion/feeling about the matter as like whether i want to do or not do, from the perspective of the energetic experience within mye....I stop and breathe...I look and see if the opportunity and time is in fact here for me to practically move the point...and if it is, I do....and if it is not...I do not....and either way i continue within and as the momentum of my moment to moment management as the best participations of  myself here.

I commit myself to reestablishing great consistency and constancy in my blogging and vlogging.

I commit myself to to stand as an example of how to live the point of blogging and vlogging as a daily enjoyment that is in fact a profound assistance and support for myself and others as a sharing that is worth and is for giving :)

I commit myself to be creative in making space and time for blogging and vlogging and I realize I can do this with a sort of effortless ease as I have already shown myself to be capable and able.

I commit myself to living the best of myself here.

Day 550 Drama Corrections

When and as I see myself experiencing/drama/conflict/a problem, I stop and breathe, I look and question the issue within myself to see/realize and understand the practical living solution that is best for all Life. I realize and understand the answer/solution always exists within me and that I give myself access to and as the solution/answer/remedy to any drama/conflict/problem by realizing and understanding my equality to both the problem/issue and the answer/solution. I realize and understand that within taking this approach I script myself a practical application for moving myself here within and as the expressions that are best for all Life. I realize and understand how I enable myself to play and enjoy myself here within self-responsibility as self-direction.

I commit myself to self-direction/self-responsibility in every moment as what is best for all Life here.

I commit myself to living the self-realization and understanding of the equality and oneness within the problem and solution.

I commit myself to examining big issues/problems within our shared reality and within doing so, presenting answers/solutions/direction that is of the best assistance and support for Life here.

I commit myself to standing as the embodiment of Practical Living assistance and Support.

When and as I see myself distancing myself from problems and or solutions, I stop and breathe, I ask myself what the fuck I am doing here,...I give myself self-direction within asking myself questions as I realize and understand the equality within the equation of question/answer/solution.

I commit myself to utilizing the formula of question/answer/solution as that which is best for all Life.

When and as I see myself looking to escape from self-responsibility within considering and regarding my equality and oneness with all Life here, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the self-responsibility, self-integrity, and self-dignity within and as the starting point of creation as oneness and equality. I commit myself to giving myself access to Life here as that which is best for all Life.

When and as I see that I am being resistant to move myself within a project, I stop and breathe, I ask myself why I am being resistant to move within this particular project, I self-honestly see the problem that originates within myself as the consequential result of my acceptances and allowances, I direct myself to change the nature of my acceptances and allowances by first forgiving myself for separating myself within a particular point, I direct myself in creating the solution/answer/script for myself as the remedy for the problem and I commit myself to walking the correction.  I commit myself to standing within the application of commitments as the means for prevention being the best cure. I commit myself to self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications as the mechanisms within facing problems and birthing solutions.  I realize and understand the effective mathematics of self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements put into application and the laws of accumulation that take effect and work in accordance within and as the law of equality and oneness.

When and as I see myself searching for a positive energetic experience, I stop and breathe, I look at how I am accepting and allowing myself to exist within a negative energetic experience as like the withdrawal symptoms of having accepted and allowed myself to participate within the short lived positive energetic experiences. I realize and understand how the positive and negative energetic experiences are intertwined...and within this I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of fueling negative and or positive energetic experiences within myself. I realize and understand how existing within energetic experiences is a self-hypnosis form of delusion and is in fact not real physical self-expression. I commit myself to developing and expressing real physical self-expression which exists beyond the veils of positive and negative energetic experiences.

I commit myself to use my time here on earth in practically directing problems and solutions that are best for all Life.

I commit myself to practically living the self-responsibility within self-directing problems and solutions that are best for all Life.


I commit myself to giving up the choice within wanting or not wanting to take self-responsibility in self-directing problems and solutions.

I commit myself to living the self-realization and understanding that what is best for all Life is beyond the spitefulness of choosing to regard or disregard Life.

I commit myself to stop being conditional in choosing to regard or disregard Life sometimes.

I commit myself to developing and practically living an unconditional regard for all Life as what is best for all Life.

When and as I see myself daydreaming about possible courses of actions, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the impracticality of day dreaming as like a form of distraction and entertainment within the arena/area of escapism/self-abdication....I realize and understand the difference between looking at things and day dreaming....as I realize and understand the learning process within looking at things...as like acquiring knowledge and information to see and realize how the knowledge and information can be best utilized/exercised within and as the practical living application of what is best for all Life here.