important shit

Sunday, 23 November 2014

Day 675 - Supplant Fear with faith

“Supplant fear with faith”.  What is faith? Faith is the self-trust and self-responsibility in taking care for self-honestly determining our very own fate.  See, this is an interesting point of correction. To succeed fear is to stop accepting and allowing fear to take over as guide and therefore replace/correct/supplant with faith/self-trust/self-honesty.  It’s interesting that it has been an arduous task for me to actually gift and give myself the support and assistance that I require. What is also of equal interest is that the “learning of lessons”…correcting my mistakes…sometimes took me longer to figure out…because of a rigid stubbornness of mind…a fear mind set…a belief…a blockade in my teach ability….resistance. Gratitude is a great attitude. Being grateful is great. Be great. Live Gratitude. It’s the Best Attitude. Want to be the best and most proficient learner? Be grateful. Always all ways. I have found out the hard way…a most unfortunate tragic comedy really….that to spite myself/life by actually resisting gratitude in my practical living behavior and expression made my ability to learn/comprehend/see my reality clearly and actually utilize my creative abilities….not possible. What’s interesting about this, is that gratitude is a really easy humble thing to live and is in fact a really fun way to be. What’s funny about this is that by resisting to be grateful has been like a point of misaligned pride in thinking that I mist punish myself for my mistakes as like the only way I can learn…to the point of being so stubborn in not wanting to acknowledge my errors and being so fearful of them, that, rather than having a laugh and being rather playful about my ridiculous errors/mistakes and bouncing back up from my falls…it’s a most unfortunate thing to wallow into the depths of despair where the depression is oh so heavy as a holding added weight onto one self as like a bumbling along through the storm of emotion that is keeping the livelihood of self in hiding…like a fearing to actually stand up within oneself and take ownership for being here and able to problem solve and create….the gratitude way as the “I live to give…and therefore I get to give…because I got it to give…because I get to give because I got it to give…and when you get it…understand yourself here and the potential….there is no real choice about it….it’s like ya, well obviously I’m going to just do what’s best…I mean that’s real justice. Isn't it?

What I want to share here now is the point about belief. Belief is so often misguided….and misaligned…as like a false flag operation…perhaps well intention'd…but unknowingly fucked. Belief is the trust point often without having reason or rational as to why the trust should exist…I mean here enters a point of hope….and faith in relation to hope…where there is like an idea that things can work out without actually having to do anything….though what is interesting here… that in writing this myself here….I see how I have lots of resistances towards belief….like that is how I have created confusion within myself….a relationship with belief separate from myself…where I blindly followed the words of another and took it on within me, a belief without the real testing and investigation….which is an act of cowardice really.

So what’s interesting and really cool is that a real belief….is a real life here. Meaning, to become the life you want to live. Meaning, Know thy Self. Self-Creation here. I have struggled with this point of self-creation here within and about the point of belief….because I could always see the potential within and as self-guided belief…as the “Be Life” within and as the correct alignment and understanding of belief. Though which also perplexed me was the obvious fact that belief has so often been backwards kind of thing…where it was obviously skewed…and it has been easy for me to see the “Lie” within belief.  What I did not realize I was doing for quite some time was stumbling back and forth between my actual potential as how to believe in myself and the actual resistance to the very word Belief. I was caught in my own self damnation…judgement….self-judgement…believing in things in myself that are actually not of practical and tangible support for myself.

I have shown myself many times throughout my stumbling’s within Life, that I actually am capable of making great things happen. The Flow of making great things happen as the momentum is momentous is a real treat, a real pleasure and a real joy as a favorite self-expressing movement of mine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the doubt within delayed movements as like being points of fear that effect my self-trust….belief…knowing in myself…and are actually points of support to show to me…where a point of weakness has not been strengthened as being learned into new abilities as the practical living result of taking responsibility for my every actions…making me my very own action hero…as I save myself the heartache and misery of resisting gratitude as being the greatest of attitudes…and therefore I continuously move in creating my moments of practical living actions…that are of a continuous motion in and as the mathematics of addition and multiplication…as I develop my stamina in going on and on without a fumble or a tumble….though when I do….it becomes no big deal…because I see what I did there and have a laugh at my own expense…as I enjoy paying the immediate price in remediating my deficiency in action so that I do not perpetuate an allowance of reaction…for I am my very own action hero…I am the very best me…because I see and know that is the responsibility commitment like a wedding vow I make onto myself to give to myself whatever I need…so that I can always take what is here without delay…so that my responsibility is swiftly as it is quickly so that I maximize my playtime potential as a result of understanding the equilibrium balance  of work ethic as my very practical living of self-discipline…meaning that I will do whatever is necessary in order to create the best solutions….because I am very goal oriented in and as focused direction in seeing how to score a great play as a result of willing to hard work a fantastic result.

I see, I know now how I feared belief itself as the truth of myself in and as the very fact that I have not known myself as well as I would like to and therefore it has always been difficult to have a very strong belief in myself….because I actually feared getting to know myself….facing myself…all the various faces that I have accepted and allowed….because I mean…wow…there is nothing scarier than facing all the mirrors of one’s very own reflections. Laughs out loud…a belly full of them. The jokes we play on ourselves here are like the worst king of jokes, really tragic stuff…and I mean it’s ridiculously absurd when we actually reflect of the extent of our acceptances and allowances and we go through our rationalized and justified fears…I mean like wow oh my god really….really…I created such a state of affairs for myself.

What’s interesting is that I have had the fortunate opportunity to have actually experienced the letting go of fearing many of moments and actually totally committing myself to trusting my movement and just continuing to do so….again and again and again…..Repetition is the key here….Don’t step…get it get it….Got it…because we you got it you don’t have to get it because you got it. But its important to remember that in the beginning of learning something new….we require to get the hang of it before we got it. Why do you think it is that we love to hang out with people we like….because it’s fun to hang out….because it’s a process we've learned…a sharing that comes natural…a natural learning ability…to get the hang of it…I mean we are closely related to monkeys…and monkeys love to hang around…like the arangatang…lol…I like monkeying around with my words in how I say and share the play that is me as a resulting reflection and expression of the work that I do.

What’s funny to look at is how I can see here in my process of taking self-responsibility for all my shit…in some instances it’s like I would get myself into a state of shock and awe as a result of looking at what it is I have in fact accepted and allowed…,missing the gratitude in these moments….for actually seeing/catching the pattern…so that I have the opportunity to learn from my errors…and create new pathways for myself…as ways forward that I can be totally satisfied with.  So, the point I am getting at here is that I see , realize and understand the importance of giving focused attention to the solutions I can work…that I can actually see within myself that the potential exists….that before I actually walk the correction in the future…it’s like I already simulated the situation in myself as a result of connecting and aligning with the potential that has always existed within me…and therefore realizing and recognizing an awesome play in which I am able to make when and as I am potentially faced with such a scenario.   I make myself a power player within and as my taking of self-responsibility. I am grateful for my commitment to learning. I commit myself to being humble…and therefore allowing myself to learn as effortlessly as possible as a result of realizing and understanding how learning is a natural process as I allow myself to naturally learn/move here…as water/sound/self-expression.

 To Be Continued

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