Day 677 - Effort-full

"I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to learning with effortless ease" Day 676 - Life...Learning...Teach Ability...Opportunity and Fortune

This statement jumps out at me as I re-read through my previous blog entry. I ponder on the point a moment and I look at the process of development a child learns to walk within the actual skill of walking...and specifically the process of going from learning to crawl...to crawling...to standing...to falling and standing up...and actually waddling a step or two...to eventual walking effectiveness.

Within looking and regarding this process...It is quite the process and it is in fact effort-full There is a self-willing commitment to actually explore and push the development of potential which is the result of constant and consistent experimental application...practice and repetition...and a fine tuning.

So, within re-reading my initial statement I share above here with regards to an effortless within learning...I see here how I have placed an expectation about my idea of how I have believed the learning process should be. This is not necessarily the case within learning new skills. In fact some things will require much more effort than other things. And, to only learn that which comes effortlessly...would be in fact a squandering of one's actual learning potential here...because perhaps it is the commitment in learning the things that are the most challenging for ourselves that are in fact the most rewarding. I say this, because....look at the self-discipline and the self-commitment....and the self-perseverance...and the self-dedication....and the self-patience....and really.....this exemplifies the tenets of what is in fact self-mastery.

Learning something completely that is an effort-full process is rich in educational nourishment....because the the process's involved within learning anything from beginner level to a masterful level is to be rooted in the fundamental principles which substantiate an overall character development of an elite level standing. Meaning, there is no real short-cuts on the journey process of Life Mastery.

I am reminded of an example where this Ninja warrior is being asked by an aspiring Ninja how many different punches he knows how to do...and before the Ninja Warrior can even real respond....the aspiring Ninja begins spouting off all the different types of punches that he knows. The Ninja Warrior explains that he is not threatened by the the Ninja who knows 10,000 different punches he has practiced very little....But is in fact greatly concerned about facing the Ninja Warrior who has practiced a single punch 10,000 times.

The point of my sharing of this story here...is on the commitment and discipline required in and as self-perfection. Which to me exemplifies the natural learning expression of Life. Where one is able to meticulously study oneself in one's movement relationships here.

SO,

This is a point that has come to my attention within my Life....where I have had a tendency throughout my Life to learn things for a little while....when and as the learning came easily without much effort or work on my part. Then what has happened in many instances...is where I shift my focus to learning something else...where I lose interest in continuing what I initially set out to do. This tendency of mine I have notices as a result of myself always looking for the path of least resistance...and actually having conditioned myself to avoid seemingly effort-full commitments to actually expanding my comprehension within a particular subject beyond my current ability level.

This is something I am committing myself to changing. Changing specifically the reluctance within myself to continue on a point of self-mastery within particular areas I have actually really wanted to excel within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating ideas and beliefs about how I should feel within learning something new...and the process of self-perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for tainting the process of self-perfection by having pre-conceived...make believe ideas about how the aftermath of self-perfection within a particular point is in fact.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying my impatience within the difficulty of learning particular tasks...skills.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgement/friction/conflict within myself in relationship to the amount of time it takes for me to learn and effectively comprehend a particular point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for burdening myself within the guilt and shame which I experience within reflecting upon all my failed attempts to actually comprehend a particular point and physically administer perfect execution of said point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving credence to giving up on myself when and as I am faced with difficulty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the real testaments of individual will is in fact the commitment and devotion to oneself when faced with difficulty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for shying away from difficulty within my participations here in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing difficulty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irony of myself inflicted difficulties I have done unto myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created an apprehensiveness towards difficult tasks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having avoided to really examine the extensiveness of my very own apprehensiveness as like a self-ingrained defense mechanism to avoid actually seeing the painful truth of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to minimize my creative influence within our shared World System...because of the fact that I see this requires great effort on my part.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my creative potential when and as great effort is required in developing creative contributions here that are in the best interests of myself and all Life here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my creative potential because it takes effort.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a negative polarity connotation towards the word "effort"
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having cringing thoughts/emotions about "effort" as like an ugh exhausting type experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a resistance towards effort that can be torturous at times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for torturing myself as a result of having an ineffective relationship with and as the word "effort".

Effort: Strenuous physical or mental exertion.
            A vigorous or determined attempt.
            The result of an attempt.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining strenuous physical or mental exertion as something that I want to avoid most of the time and only participate within it if I feel/believe it to be absolutely necessary.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have conditioned my effort to exist in relationship to my particular emotion and or feeling about exerting effort in the particular moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being unreliable within my participations as a result of accepting and allowing myself to be conditioned by my thoughts, feelings and or emotions that pop up suddenly within a moment with specific regards to a point I am looking at.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-sabotaging my ability to participate in learning things effectively and efficiently.

The word 'Effort" is rooted in the Latin words, " Ex + Fortis....which means ...Out + Strong"....which lead to the old french word "esforcier"....which leads us to the word "effort" we have today.

In looking at the "Out + Strong" of the Latin roots of Effort....I see that effort is a result of breathing out an exertion of self-expression....a living of life force essence....a particular strength in character being exhibited within a particular focus as a result of and as the living of an outer strength. I see and understand this outward expression of effort being the result of an inward commitment of oneself to share the expression of oneself outward and onward. And therefore I see effort as a tool in self-development....a tool that assists and support our process development here.

I commit myself to living Effort as an Outward strength of Character.

I see realize and understand that to live Effort as an outward strength of character is to live an inward strength of character. As within and so without.

Day 549 Facing the Drama Here

In my previous blog I said, "I don't really have much drama in my life if any." I reflected upon these words here and I see this as a result of me having been isolated within my own mind where I have been disconnected from the total physical reality here. Because the total reality of Life here is full of drama as like so much injustices/trauma/abuse existing here. Within this I see how it is my self-responsibility to face the music/drama here as all the injustices/abuse/trauma existing here. Like what is this Life I have here for if I do not stand up to do everything within my capabilities to stop abuse from existing here within our shared physical reality. I mean look at the way our economic system operates...like how human functioning is based in and around a peculiar relationship rules we've formed around money. Like life is totally disregarded in the name of money. I see how money can be a great tool to facilitate the movement/expression of Life. I realize and understand there needs to be a serious attitude adjustment...where we as humanity get our priorities aligned as what is best for all Life here. Because at the moment we've been actively or passively choosing to take the piss out of Life...as like just real total travesty...as like we've created a real muck of a gong-show scenario that has become quite the global epidemic of rapid destruction of Life/Earth here...as a result of being totally out of line in giving a shit for what is best here within and as our self-responsibility to care for one another and have a sustainable shared reality where we all reap the benefits of the common good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for distancing myself from and as universal responsibility as seeing and realizing and understanding my relationship/agreement with all Life here as what is best for all Life here within and as the starting point principle of oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming sheltered within my personal bubble of things are all good where I can have an easy like vacation style lifestyle because I was a fortunate winner in the birth lottery where I was born into a family of money/elitism...where basically I am benefiting from the atrocious abusive economic system where few benefit and many suffer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been hesitant and resistant to really push myself full force and dedicate my life living here to working on projects that would be for the benefit of future generations of Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get stuck within the all good attitude of focusing on my personal reality while disregarding and distracting myself from the greater outer reality as like the big picture within and as the consideration of Life interconnectedness within and as oneness and equality here where all Life is of and as the highest value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for distracting and confusing myself from the big picture of what is going on within our global reality by choosing to allow myself to get caught up within moments of petty bullshit as like having reactions to others within my personal reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within deeming myself not worthy of taking on a large role within and as the standing here as a being who speaks up for what is best for all Life and directs and facilitates practical living solutions for the betterment of all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within getting caught up within petty bullshit within my mind in relationship to events/beings within my immediate environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for daydreaming about possible courses of action for myself without actually physically moving myself within and as practical living self-movement that is best for all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is enough for me to be at peace/ease within the personal/interpersonal relationships within my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being selfish within not giving enough attention to directing/creating solutions for big picture world problems that exist within our reality. I realize and u understand that obviously in order for myself to be in a position of creating/directing big picture solutions for our shared reality that I have to stand effectively within all the small points/relationships as the personal and interpersonal relationship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justified not pushing myself to investigate all the atrocities that exist within our shared reality because I do not experience a desired positive energetic stimulationfrom doing so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been conditioned to only give my attention to that which I believe will give me a positive energetic experience. I realize and understand the design flaw within only focusing on the positive energetic experience...as this is the current predicament of humanity as like we are fueling the chaos/drama/abuse/disease within not realizing how we disregarding our equality and oneness within and as everything here.

To be Continued