Day 581 Self-Intimacy within the Question

Continuing from my previous blogs:

"Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"


I see here how in the phrasing of this question I was existing within the single mindedness of me as ego. Me as a self-interested singularity if you will...me as primarily separate from everything else here. Me within theacceptance and allowance that each being here exists within this starting point of self-confined self-interest as a singularity separate from everything else here. Obviously this mental framework is ridiculously absurd because there is self-evident interconnectedness with everything here.

There was some resistance within myself to exploring the self-intimacy of the question here.

Within examining this particular question, I looked at the point of self-stimulation as the means to generating self-satisfaction and amusement. Within looking at this I did not really want to regard the point that stimulation is an abdication of self-responsibility from and as the perspective of being a distraction and a point of creating the illusion of choice. Also within this point, I see how the justification has existed within myself to see a self-manipulated logical reason as to why the meaning of my existence should revolve around this singular point of and as self-stimulation. It is shameful to see that my preoccupation has been self-satisfaction and amusement.

I was looking at the point of self-satisfaction within our shared reality as a coping mechanism as a way in which one can justify that enough effort/work has been done...that there is a point of complacency as a point of acceptance within self that aligns within the mentality/belief that I deserve a reward now because I am done and satisfied with my performance/achievement/accomplishment and thus I am self-satisfied because I have made myself believe within my mind that I reached the required level of complacency in order to be compliant as a self-righteous superior ego frame of mind...and thus I can rest and relax because that is the reward of self-satisfaction that I am kind of like on vacation because I don't require to push myself to do more because I am self-satisfied...

So here I see self-satisfaction linked to a point of giving up...from a certain perspective...because it's like agreeing that I will not keep open the self-investigation any longer because I am satisfied with the result I have already receive...and I found what I was looking for and therefor if I find anything else...it will most likely be in direct conflict with my expectations and ego frame of mind as what I am looking for within and as amusement/stimulation.

So, obviously I do not particularly like to see and regard self-satisfaction as a grand illusion as the justified reason for an experience of greatness within myself. I mean I am kind of ashamed to see how I worked so hard to convince myself of my own justified self-satisfaction while abuse perpetuates itself everywhere as a reflection of the inherent system which I am a part. So I mean to see and realize that self-satisfaction is totally bullshit when considering that to be totally satisfied about anything when even a single point of suffering exists here is a cop out and total disregard for the well being of life...as like this is to say ya I am satisfied with disregard for the well being of all Life here...because hey check out what I've done...I've self-glorified my individual personification within and as the reward center of my mind and therefore I have validated and excused any doubt that indulging within various relationships from a starting point of self-stimulation and amusement is questionable activity.

I see here how the makeup of me here is in fact rooted within and as systems of self-stimulation. I see here how self-stimulation is like a point of amusement. Like there is an excitement component movement to it.

To be Continued

Day 498 Atlas Shrugged

I suggest watching the movie Atlas Shrugged, or Reading the book.

Many cool points are presented that align with Supporting a Living Income Guaranteed.

The book/movie will encourage the contemplation of why our shared reality is the way it is. The point is fantastically illustrated how fighting the system will not change the system. Fighting the "powers" that be is a great delusion.

The point of accountability and responsibility is illustrated. It is each individual here who is required to stand within and as the point of responsibility and accountability.

Reward for our efforts is encouraged.

If our labor/efforts are undermined than everyone suffers.

If the point of self-responsibility is disregarded our existence/Life is disregarded.

The movie illustrated the ridiculous absurdities of the blame game and abdication of self responsibility/accountability/dignity/integrity.

The point is illustrated how money is not in fact the root of all evil.....that money is just a tool...and we are the one's that determine how we use the tool. Obviously to use a tool effectively, awareness/foresight is required which is to see the consequences and implications of our actions, thereby preventing harm and suffering by standing within and as self-responsibility/accountability/integrity/dignity.

The point is illustrated how designing a legal system with excessive rules and regulations which act as like the mechanics of facilitating fraud/robbery/injustice is highly ineffective in all regards.

Fighting a person who doesn't understand what there doing is futile. The expression "resistance is futile" easy to see and realize within and as one moves through the book and or movie.

A cool quote within part 1 of the movie by a man who realizes the ridiculousness of arguing with someone who is fighting for limitation...this line is used in the midst of an elite social gathering where fake smiles and false appearances are the majority, "Happiness is the delusion of those who are superficial"

Day 488 Undermining My Own Authority

So, the point has surface this evening with regards to this law paper I am writing about justice and dominance with regards to distributive means.

The point being, that I am doubting myself as source authority within writing.  Like, I doubt the validity of my own words, well not really doubting the validity of my own words directly,....but more so doubting and questioning how my essay will be received by professor/teaching assistance who is grading my paper. I doubt the teacher/teaching assistant.....like I see here that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in conflict with school professor/teaching assistant from the perspective that I regard myself as superior intellect, yet I am trying to qualify my intellect to them, and I worry sometimes that the grading of my paper will reflect their reaction to my reading, as like I will get a really good grade if they agree with what I said and how I said it, and I will will get a less than stellar grade if my point if not agreed with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from my professor and teaching assistant.  I realize and understand that writing university papers is like writing papers to myself in another life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself in polarity based comparison to my professor/teaching assistant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for playing the self righteous superiority/inferiority game.  I realise and understand what a mind fuck it is to accept and allow the polarity energy game of self righteous superiority/inferiority.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I was indirectly doubting my own words as the resulting consequence of accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in relationship to my professor and Teaching Assistant. I realize and understand how I mind fucked myself within entertaining polarized judgement within myself.  I realize the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself to exist within doubt as a result of accepted and allowed self-judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing I need to regulate my doubts as like a form of control methodology within my mind based upon ascertaining a polarized degree of self-righteousness within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my professor/teaching assistant's ability to comprehend my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for assuming that my words will be received in conflict.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for assuming and obsessing about worst possible scenario's with regards to the submission of my writing assignment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I must dumb my writing down in order to not cause problems within my school assignments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is safer for me to dumb my writing down, as like to not cause any reactions within my university evaluators...and like just kind of produce a mediocre paper that doesn't really challenge the system structures and operating platforms.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I should really minimize my thoughts and perspectives within writing university papers and just focus on utilizing the course material readings, and basically regurgitate the curriculum back to the evaluator as the way of illustrating my basic comprehension of course material.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing failure within utilizing my own observations and critical analysis/examination of scholars words who I happen to disagree with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my authority within having the ability to effectively illustrate that I disagree with scholarly work....and being able to do so in a manner that is eloquently phrased and well regarded by the professor and or teaching assistant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be too creative within my essay writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be penalized and poorly graded for being creative in garnering fresh and unique insights/perspective/consideration that are not commonly expressed within course assignments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a copy cat within writing university essays within the perspective of fearing to be totally unique and creative within my responses....like fearing to be too different from my peers...and therefore, as a result of the fear, thinking and believing that I must tailor my responses to be in uniform alignment with what I believe to be the "correct generic response" that has already been considered and regarded as "the answer".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be penalized and poorly graded/marked within creating new answers to questions I see as challenging and expanding upon the scholarly sources within the course curriculum.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability to articulate obvious common sense in such a way that it is so apparent and clear to whoever is reading or listening to my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability to be coherent within writing and verbal communication.

When and as I see myself writing my school papers and I react/judge/fear a thought about how my paper will be graded/received, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand my ability to communicate coherently and my strong ability to articulate obvious common sense. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of mind fucking myself with self induced judgement within hypothetical what if scenarios from the perspective of reacting to the particular outcomes of hypothetical what if scenarios.

When and as I see myself doubting my words, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the fear within doubt as a form of ridiculousness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing myself.  I direct myself to stand one and equal with the words I speak.  I realize and understand the ridiculousness of separating myself within my words.

When and as I see myself placing myself in conflict with professor/teaching assistant, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of deliberately believing myself to be in conflict with professor/teacher.

When and as I see myself creating conflict within my mind about completing school assignment, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of polarizing the relationship towards completing school assignments. I realize the ridiculousness of perpetuating conflict within myself.

I commit myself to completing my school assignment within and as a starting point of authority.

I commit myself to standing as authority.

I commit myself realizing and understanding the authority of Equality and Oneness.

I commit myself to self-direction as an authority of what's best for all Life.

I commit myself to removing all conflict from within myself.