Day 555 My Precious

The question comes up within myself: "If everything exists within myself, how is it that I can have my precious most sacredly valued relationships that exist within myself?"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating polarity within relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I created polarity within relationships within defining relationship values within the energy spectrum of positive and negative associations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing and justifying the necessity of defining relationship associations with either positive or negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself to exist here beyond energetic experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming automated within creating forming energetic associations to words/people/things as like a form of identification/connection process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I value and regard anything where I have created a strong energetic charge towards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have separated myself from and as Life within fragmenting myself as life here through and as various energetic charges/definitions/impressions/judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being influenced and controlled by that which I give energy charge towards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how limiting my Life has been as a result of conditioning myself within the pattern of self-defining relationship experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining things/beings as a result and in accordance to my initial reactions and experience towards the particular things/beings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have never really lived as a result of my mind being conditioned within the realms of energetic associations as like how I experience myself within various energy charges/frequencies/vibrations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring and seeking out to find that which will give me the perfect experience as like the most ideal energetic experience...as like that which keeps me tuned within a particular energetic resonance/energy/frequency.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing from within and as the starting point of accepted and allowed separation where I conditioned myself to define and diminish myself within perpetuating a polarized energetic friction within myself and my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to release myself from the charges I have placed against myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming reliant upon my precious energetically charged definitions/perceptions/judgement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the self imposed restraint/limitation/suppression/depression/strain I have placed upon myself within and as I exist within and as reaction to myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have had difficulty realizing and understanding myself here because I never really accepted myself here...and kind of like chose to disregard myself here and within disregarding myself, I see and realize how I could not see anything with clarity here and therefore I created this illusionary makeup as my self-definitions as like how I could cope with the choice of disregarding Myself/Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for finding ways to cope within disregarding Myself/Life Here as like various forms of energetic stimulation as like to entertain myself within and as form of pacification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pacify myself within and as various relationships of energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I can Live/exist beyond relationships of energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really knowing and understanding what is beyond energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating reactions within myself as a result of looking at how I could exist without the desire to be energetically stimulated within relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for constructing my mind in such a particular way where I look to form energetic relationships to particular things I see within my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how limited my ability to see what is here in every moment has been compromised/suppressed by my desire and addiction to create energetic relationship experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not actively self-directing and creating my reality in every moment as who and how I am here as the expression of Life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself here as a creator in every moment.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for passively creating my physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I am required to stop the automatic judgement labeling energetic charge association that exists within myself towards everything I see when and as I partipate in physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to slow down and face each point of stimulation within physical reality and move the self imposed separation/conflict/friction that exists within myself towards myself.  I realize and understand the self-responsibility to self-reflect upon everything here. I commit myself to self-reflection in every moment here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the point of self-reflection in every moment as like having the self-honesty and self-discipline to reflect upon my stimulation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose that which stimulates me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my enjoyment is dependent upon my stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to further question myself within and as stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the answer to the question, "who am I without stimulation?"

To be Continued

Day 452 It's All In the Words

I've been sharing lots of time with parents and siblings lately which has been a cool point of self reflection.


Committing myself to writing as a point of self-perfection/self-correction has assisted and supported me in changing the dynamics of family relationships.


Sharing lots of time with parents and siblings is a therapeutic process.  No one has triggered me more to investigate my acceptances and allowances than my parents and siblings.  I am grateful for the support I have been privileged with.


What's interesting and cool is that by not taking any words personally, I have allowed and accepted myself to direct words as a point of assistance and support.


In the past, so much, I failed to effectively direct words as a point of practical assistance and support as a result of accepting and allowing myself to be conflicted within my relationship to words.  As a result of accepting and allowing a conflicted relationship with words, I had been quite abusive with my vocabulary as I interpreted words as an attack/defense and within this reciprocated from the perspective of an "I" for an "I"....as like "I" copying "I".  I didn't understand my participation's and even once I started to realize my self-righteous nature of an "I" for an "I", I still became triggered with points of reaction that required self-honest investigation to realize and enable the process of self-correction.


What is interesting and cool within this process, is that as I allowed myself to investigate the nature of my every reaction to words, I became able and capable of correcting myself in the moment as a point of self-responsibility...as like, allowing myself to stop and breathe, and then correct the situation by taking accountability for my words.  Taking accountability for words includes speaking words and not speaking words...and within this releasing the emotional and feeling attachment to words through and as the process of self-forgiveness.


I've been looking at the point of blame...and how I justified so much of my communication from the starting point of blame...as like the energy within accepted and allowed blame would fuel my spoken words as like seeing offensiveness everywhere and not considering myself to be one and equal as the greatest offender of words.


I've come to realize and understand how I had connected blame to self-righteousness and anger within myself in ways of polarized energetic friction that resulted in me becoming frustrated and agitated quite easily and severely as a result of my resistance to face myself within thoughts, words and deeds.


What's interesting to me now, is how trivial my past acceptances and allowances have been...as like I see and realize and understand how the result of having an ineffective relationship with words has caused me tremendous strain and discomfort throughout the years.


I see and realize how I did my best to cope with my contaminated vocabulary...and how I did not understand the significance of my accepted and allowed relationship agreement with words.


I see and realize how I neglected and abused myself with words.


I see and realize how I turned words into weapons of mass destruction...and I realize and understand how I accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate war within myself as like an arguing for my own limitation and self-suppression.


I see and realize how my words terrorized me with the spectrum of energetic fears from the lowest lows of emotion to the highest highs of feelings....and how within this I was always the dictator, the man hiding behind the masks of character persona's I accepted and allowed myself to act out as a result of my relationship agreement contract with words.  What's interesting and crazy was that I did not realize and understand the extent to which words acted as the codes to my own imprisonment.


What's fascinating and ironic now, is how I am investigating words within law as jurisprudence which is the science and philosophy of law. And, also, I am aligning myself to provide educational software to people so that they can purify the law of their being...by correcting the contaminated word relationship agreements...and also by preventing the formation of contaminated word relationship agreement contracts.


I learned and realized that "vocabulary" sounds like "vocation" and the only way to practically live an everyday "vacation" is to become a wordsmith, as one who is at home within themselves as the living relationship agreement with all words from the principle starting point of creation as Oneness and Equality, as what is best for all Life, as that which can stand the testaments of time eternally.