Day 650, Self-Censorship and Propaganda

This blog begins with having initially looked at two particular principles within and as the Desteni of Living Principles which can be seen in a previous blog titled " The Desteni of Living"

22. The realization that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become - I first have to 'know thyself' and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23 The realization that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world - I have to get to 'know thyself' as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

I noticed an interesting thing about myself and the behaviour of others with regards to sharing and not sharing.  The issue here is self-censorship/suppression of moments that would be in fact cool to share and in doing so would actually contribute to common sense living here as practical and physical sound support.

So, to look at myself specifically here, I had gotten out of the habit and self-created pattern of sharing daily my writing as a point giving as I would like to receive.

What's interesting about this is that within my mind I had a main reasons/rationalization that justified the validity of me choosing to withhold my capacity and capability to share my words from and as the starting point of 'practical living sound support and structured stability'.

What's interesting here, is to see exactly how I  have operated within a pattern of repetition for some time...and specifically gave legitimacy to a problem...which was me wanting to write and share more than I have previously been doing so within the past few months...and then the thought and point in question would pop up "well, it's already been so many days that I have missed that I haven't done it...if I miss another day it's no big deal....one day doesn't mean that much because I have already missed a bunch".

See here, the problem pattern I found myself within and kept myself within as a result of accepting and allowing my thought/feeling/emotion propaganda to influence my ability to actually move myself and create a new pattern/way forward for myself here.

See, it's interesting because I was accepting and allowing myself to censor my participation as a result of my own self-created internal media/backchat/propaganda/rationalizations/reasons/excuses/justifications.....and what is most fascinating about this is that I would always immediately recognize the debilitating point in question that would be the trigger to counter act my actions...as the "distraction"...and I would go into my "distraction" within the reasoning of just for a moment...and then before you know it I allowed myself to squander many moments of opportunity within myself because i decided to ride my internal high as the directionless impulse of being guided by energetic stimulation.

So, what is the point of my sharing here?

Getting out of a problem and into a solution starts with a self-commitment/self-decision to stop the repetition of the current problem. "Repetition" is a Key word here. Because, the Solution, as the way out of the problem has to be re-created over and over and over again....because the initial problem will re-surface as the preferred program play out. This happens because of our most recent past acceptances and allowances....where time and time again we made the decision to give credence to such a pattern play out....whether it was conscious or unconscious doesn't really matter....what matters is the decision that was made. So, Knowing and Seeing how this works gives one the insight and foresight to actually implant an effective long term solution for oneself.

What's interesting here also, is to see how relatively simple it is for us to be successful or unsuccessful within the practical living of Responsibilities. It's a decision. Now, obviously the understanding of how repetition works in building/establishing a level of consistency is important to Know. This here is the essence of how our Creation really works. It is is a point of Willing participation. Our acceptances and allowances determine and dictate the outcome of Being Here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I have accepted and allowed myself to justify, validate, reason and rationalize the censorship of myself here as my actual Life Living Potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding and resisting to fully examine and investigate the full extent of how behavior patterns work with specific regards to repetition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting self-corrective precautions in and as the moments where I am faced with self changing expansion of and as my over all Life Character here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being closed minded within and as the focus on and as my wants from a stand point of there being a problem/conflict within myself that I am not certain how to resolve/walk through/sort out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing problems and conflicts to linger within myself as wants/desires that I have not practically investigated as to what are the best solutions here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compounding suppression/censorship/propaganda within myself as a result of and as my participation within and as re-occurring thoughts/feelings/emotions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understand the extent of self-reflection that is here internally and externally as the words "Censorship" and "Propaganda".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I have propagated the censorship of and as my best potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to unlock total potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the process of change involved within unlocking an accessing my absolute and total potential here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to forget about my responsibilities in and as moments of distraction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within and as distractions from and as a starting point of escapism and egoism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to slow down and actually investigate the points of energetic movement within myself.  I see realize and understand how I am actually able to expand my awareness here by investigating the points of energetic value within myself...realizing and understanding the spectrum of positive feeling and negative emotion as an internal/external mindfuck that is no longer valid in and as the government of myself here.

I commit myself to stopping patterns of suppression and creating new patterns of support and assistance.

I commit myself to practically living the understanding of and as movement and repetition within and as the building and creation of new establishments here which are most excellent in nature, structure and sound.

I commit myself to stop participating within distractions within myself.

I commit myself to investigating all energetic movements within myself.

I commit myself to practical living "Self-Responsibility".

I commit myself to Sharing my words as point of practical living structured sound assistance and support.

When and as I see myself faced with a problem, I stop and breathe, I see here and how the problem is connected to a solution and that the solution stands one and equal with the problem. I see, realize and understand myself here as one and equal with both the problem and the solution. I see, realize and understand that I am not in conflict with the problems or solutions.  I see, realize and understand how I am able to direct solutions that are best.

I commit myself to standing as practical living structured support and assistance as the living of and as Sound Stability as who and how I am being here.

Day 569 Self-Corrective Investigation Continues

When and as I see myself trying to do something from a starting point of emotion/feeling, I stop and breathe, I examine my starting point, I realize and understand that relying on a feeling or an emotion to determine my movement is like so limiting and in fact a point of self-suppression of potential self-expression. I commit myself to developing and enhancing my self-expression within making the decision to move myself without the energeticimpulse of reactionary energy as emotion/feeling.

When and as I see myself talking myself out of participating within a particular task as like giving attention to a self-automated self-talk that just kind of pops up in my head as the reasoned justifications and excuses to give me the necessary validated excuse and reasoning to dropout of action on a particular point of potential action, I stop and breathe, I commit myself to physical action within and as the point of participation on the point that my mind is manifesting resistance towards. I realize and understand the effectiveness of utilizing the resistance that comes up in my mind as my road map to physical self-expression here. I commit myself to transcending all points of self-imposed resistance. I commit myself to preventing talking myself out of participating within a particular task that would be cool assistance and support for myself to participate within here.

When and as I see myself faced with the choice to stick to my self-commitment or not, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that this is a dangerous cross roads to be at because it's the middle road of ultimatedeception where there exists the freedom to be self-honest or self-dishonest. I realize and understand how stupid it is to justify being dumb within perpetuating the choice of self-dishonesty. I commit myself to preventing myself from making the choice to be self-dishonest. I commit myself to stop mind fucking myself within the delusion of choice as to be self-honest or self-dishonest.

When and as I see myself looking to be impulsed by a feeling/emotion/thought to guide my decision/choice/movement, I stop and breathe, I see here that I am the decision/choice/movement/question/answer/solution, I see that I can step out of doubt and move myself about with and as self-trust here. I realize and understand self-trust goes hand in hand with my self-honesty here. I commit myself to self-trust and self-honesty here. I commit myself to moving myself about without doubt as the self-expression responsibility of self-trust and self-honesty.

I commit myself to the decision making process.

I commit myself to effectiveness within making decisions that are best for all Life.

I commit myself to making practical living decisions as a result of being able to effectively and efficiently do the accounting within making a decision.

When and as I see myself thinking about neglecting a point of self-responsibility, I stop and breathe, I realize the resistance coming up within myself as a point of backchat and I understand and realize my ability to effectively push through this resistance. I realize and understand how this resistance that I am faced with can be a point of support for myself to use a point of self-movement in moving beyond my self-imposed energetic restraints. I commit myself and dedicate myself to moving beyond energetic restraints. I commit myself to self-responsible practical living. I commit myself to prevent myself from neglecting self-responsibility.

To be Continued

Day 555 My Precious

The question comes up within myself: "If everything exists within myself, how is it that I can have my precious most sacredly valued relationships that exist within myself?"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating polarity within relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I created polarity within relationships within defining relationship values within the energy spectrum of positive and negative associations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing and justifying the necessity of defining relationship associations with either positive or negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself to exist here beyond energetic experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming automated within creating forming energetic associations to words/people/things as like a form of identification/connection process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I value and regard anything where I have created a strong energetic charge towards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have separated myself from and as Life within fragmenting myself as life here through and as various energetic charges/definitions/impressions/judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being influenced and controlled by that which I give energy charge towards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how limiting my Life has been as a result of conditioning myself within the pattern of self-defining relationship experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining things/beings as a result and in accordance to my initial reactions and experience towards the particular things/beings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have never really lived as a result of my mind being conditioned within the realms of energetic associations as like how I experience myself within various energy charges/frequencies/vibrations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring and seeking out to find that which will give me the perfect experience as like the most ideal energetic experience...as like that which keeps me tuned within a particular energetic resonance/energy/frequency.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing from within and as the starting point of accepted and allowed separation where I conditioned myself to define and diminish myself within perpetuating a polarized energetic friction within myself and my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to release myself from the charges I have placed against myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming reliant upon my precious energetically charged definitions/perceptions/judgement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the self imposed restraint/limitation/suppression/depression/strain I have placed upon myself within and as I exist within and as reaction to myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have had difficulty realizing and understanding myself here because I never really accepted myself here...and kind of like chose to disregard myself here and within disregarding myself, I see and realize how I could not see anything with clarity here and therefore I created this illusionary makeup as my self-definitions as like how I could cope with the choice of disregarding Myself/Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for finding ways to cope within disregarding Myself/Life Here as like various forms of energetic stimulation as like to entertain myself within and as form of pacification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pacify myself within and as various relationships of energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I can Live/exist beyond relationships of energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really knowing and understanding what is beyond energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating reactions within myself as a result of looking at how I could exist without the desire to be energetically stimulated within relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for constructing my mind in such a particular way where I look to form energetic relationships to particular things I see within my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how limited my ability to see what is here in every moment has been compromised/suppressed by my desire and addiction to create energetic relationship experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not actively self-directing and creating my reality in every moment as who and how I am here as the expression of Life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself here as a creator in every moment.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for passively creating my physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I am required to stop the automatic judgement labeling energetic charge association that exists within myself towards everything I see when and as I partipate in physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to slow down and face each point of stimulation within physical reality and move the self imposed separation/conflict/friction that exists within myself towards myself.  I realize and understand the self-responsibility to self-reflect upon everything here. I commit myself to self-reflection in every moment here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the point of self-reflection in every moment as like having the self-honesty and self-discipline to reflect upon my stimulation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose that which stimulates me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my enjoyment is dependent upon my stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to further question myself within and as stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the answer to the question, "who am I without stimulation?"

To be Continued

Day 470 Programmed Limitation

Today I was outside walking with Daisy the Dog.  I noticed a peculiar thing, sometimes when I see other people in the distance, I have a defensive reaction where I want to avoid communication and interaction with them.  I looked at this point, and saw how I was educated from an early age about the point of not talking to strangers....and that this point was re-enforced throughout the years...and also the consequences being ingrained to me...that children were abducted because they talked to strangers....which further re-iterated the point that you shouldn't talk to people you don't know because people you don't know could be bad.  I was always looking at the point of how there has been an ingrained paranoia with regards to social interaction as a result of the indoctrinated programmed etiquette/ruling behaviour guidelines of not communicating with strangers.

What's interesting about the point of strangers, is that everyone is a stranger until the person is known.

So, what the fuck?  Being indoctrinated not to talk to strangers, is a very very limiting behaviour pattern.  That is a hindrance to social interaction, perpetuating a fearful paranoia type of existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being naturally defensive towards people I don't recognize.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting in paranoia to people I don't know personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a state of fear while in proximity to people I regard as strangers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding people I don't know as a potential threat to my well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent of ridiculousness that has escalated within social interaction as a result of the indoctrinated education of "don't talk to strangers"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent of paranoia that existed within me as like an ingrained self-defense protection mechanism with regards to "strangers"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having in many instances resisted pushing the point of communication and interaction with "strangers"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing strangers doing harm to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing a stranger's judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for prescribing to the social etiquette that it is best not to engage people I don't know.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sometimes being uncomfortable engaging a 'stranger' in conversation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to censor my communication abilities out of fear of the possible consequences of talking to strangers.

I forgive myself for fearing to express myself to strangers, out of fear that I may suffer an unfortunate consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear and be paranoid about consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing programmed limitation.

I commit myself to de-programming self-imposed limitations.

I commit myself to expressing myself free from fear.

I commit myself to stop fearing people.

I commit myself to stop being paranoid about people.

I commit myself to stop reacting defensively/offensively to people.

When and as I see myself reacting defensively or offensively to a person, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such actions as a point of accepted and allowed programmed limitation. I look at the point within me and link it to a memory that validates this programming response.  I remove the emotion/feeling from the memory that was re-enforcing the particular patterned behaviour of self imposed limitation within myself. I direct myself to smile as a point of comfort and relaxation as I see the funny within the ridiculousness of what I had accepted and allowed.  I realise the lack of fun within being bound to  reacting defensively or offensively.


When and as I see myself immediately wanting to avoid interaction with people I see while walking with Daisy the Dog, I stop and breathe, and I direct myself in having interaction with the people I see while walking with Daisy the Dog.


When and as I see myself being paranoid in relationship to strangers, I stop and breathe, I smile, as I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of allowing myself to exist within a state of perpetuated fear/paranoia.