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Sunday, 8 February 2015

Day 700 - Fortitude of Purpose



Purpose plus fortitude is a formula strong in nature. I see purpose and fortitude together as one and equal as the infusion of Life all ways always in and as the movement of self here.

The question has come to my attention, "If you lack purpose, do you in fact lack quality of Life?"

"What is the fortitude of purpose?"

"Does having any purpose guarantee a high quality of life....or is there a certain fortitude required in order to insure creation of a high quality Life?"

"Is life meant to be high quality,,,and is it in fact a point of becoming aware of our fortitude of like it's in us to a result of what has been given to us?"

At different times in my life I have briefly reflected on what it is I want to do with my life. Interestingly enough, every time I had asked myself such a question and or reflected about such a thinking was in an absolute sense...and I often had difficulty with this...the commitment aspect of making a decision that I felt I would be bound to once in fact I made it....and what was interesting is that it's like I've been looking for sometime throughout my life as something I can give to myself as a responsibility to walk indefinitely...a Purpose of Fortitude of You will as the Meaning I give to my Life Living daily application and expression of myself here.

Now, what has been peculiar within my process of self-reflection throughout the years is that I have allowed myself to get distracted and preoccupied with things. And in this doing, kind of allowed a procrastination to ensue about activating fully the Fortitude of Purpose I wish to give to myself.

Entertainment has been my primary source of distraction from and as the development of and as my self willed purpose of fortitude. Ironically enough, I have seeked  a plethora of avenues within entertainment as a means to finding what it is I would like to find...and that ultimately being my self-expression. What do I mean by my self-expression? Many many many things. Looking for substantial greatness in all things....Ironically this thirst for greatness in various modes of entertainment has been a result of holding myself back as great entertainer.

It's interesting, my writing here...because even as have just written the above paragraph...I faced immediate reaction, where, specifically I turned away and did not even want to look at the words I have written. Me a great entertainer? But why? Why is this I see as a point worthy of my attention...and to such an extent where I can claim a fortitude of purpose?

I see tremendous value in Education. This is a rather obvious point for many I am that most would agree with the tremendous value within and as Education.  I mean education is a point where really, I think everyone can agree upon the importance in and as it's value. I see Entertainment as a a medium of Education. Within this, I see that there is great responsibility in standing as an entertainer within this world....because not only is one providing entertainment as a point of fun to be had....but first and foremost the entertainer is an educator...a teacher.

I have been looking to lots of teacher's in this world....lots of entertainers to be what I think they can be...and this is not fair to any of them....for in this regard...I have placed expectations on others as separate from myself to be operating and performing of a high quality particular standard of greatness that I have not even consistently held myself accountable to. In a way...I have been afraid to actually commit myself to the fortitude of like actually existing here as the strength of character that does not give up or bow down to anyone. This is not to say that I must be fighting or welcoming to conflict...but at the same time being open to dancing with conflict that I am presented a way like a ninja master....where the problems/issues are directed into and as solutions.

The irony of course within everything is myself.  So often I have reflected outwards about irony as a seemingly separate entanglement that only loosely relates back to me and is not really knotted deeply in attachment to my particular acceptances and allowances. This perception being a scapegoat defense mechanism where I ultimately excused the deep seated self-reflection required in really getting to the origins of myself here as who and what I am really all about.  It's fascinating to examine the conspiracies of my acceptances and allowances if you will. I sure each and everyone can relate to the conspiracies within and as our very acceptances and this is an area that can be easily dismissed from the giving patience and time as the necessary ingredients required to actually look at the story of self here...and the questioning of Fortitude of Purpose.

Anytime I would come across something that would reveal a depth of character....or be rich in substance...I would yearn for more and more exposure to such things....whether it be a show or production, a book, a person, a sport,'s like all the while...I was always missing the core of myself within and as it....where full appreciation was not quite grasped...because I don't think I have ever really fully appreciated myself to the fullest extent of and as the meaning of appreciation. Reflecting back on my various modes enthrallment from the perspective of entertainment satisfaction and thirst for more was never ending...and within this...the reflection to me is clear on the point of enjoyment...self-enjoyment....where it is an alone and together thing....where it's a shared thing between two or more.

I am reminded of the court jester....the joker if you the comedic relief to the absurd ridiculousness of aristocracy and monarchy. Within and as such a position...the joker is like the master teacher in a sense...where his immunity is granted for him alone because of his chosen profession...and the reasoning that this is the joker...and no matter how serious the reflection may be...this is the court jester...the joker...who is permitted...authorized to ridicule the ridiculousness of the accepted and allowed crown rule.  I think of this in terms relatable to stand up comedy and movie and television entertainment. Where there is potential within such a position to me an intermediary role player bridging the gaps of dissonance with common sense critique. Exposing the absurd ridiculousness in absurdly ridiculous ways with cleverly creative points of comparison and association...making a mockery of a mockery while at the same time, giving the antidote...the formula....the recipe....the solution as to how the absurd ridiculousness can be being no longer relevant and therefore remedied,,,because after having the aha moment of a laugh and seeing for is clear...crystal clear like water...the perfect solution as the how to do....I get it, I got it...I  do it...I am doing it attitude that is contagious in and as itself being a point that is addictively spread as the messages worth repeating.

What's interesting within as a my moments of reflection here is...that I as each I is the gate keeper of I...for it is for I...and I for an I that make everything to to grant to to for real be to aha...yes...I see it is all to and for to and from I the perfect relationship...I Give and Get Given here for it is the Gift of me/you/life here.
Meaning the play is in and as our permission authority to like will allow ourselves to play...will we ask others to play....will we show others how to play...will we talk about our play...and to such a point where our work can become the such a way where the play is a work in like a continued play date that can stand the testaments of time as like...yes playing and working with what is here will stand the testaments of and as the way to educate and entertain effectively....because education and entertainment together as a point of enjoyment shared between two or more is something rather harmoniously marvelous as the simplistic euphoria of the warmth of touch. This is life awareness here. This is who I am ....this is who we are. This is what I am about. This is how I choose to express and share the expression/creation of myself here.

, seems daunting and far to easy to actually be the way forward here...that trauma and suffering is not actually required...that simplicity is key in self exploration and creation. That really we can have a lot of fun in creating our fortitude of purpose and within this enacting a self-responsibility that will insure the future well being for generations to come as the knowing that this is substantial support that is fostering the facilitation of greatness in all ways always. It's important to note that obviously this enactment of purposeful living of and as self-responsibility will be a challenge in and of itself...because I realize I have been conditioned to operate in a way that is less than beneficial to all life in breaking the restraints of my conditioned limitations may in fact very well be somewhat traumatically challenging....though I see here...the way in which I remove the layers of deception from myself as being related to me and my investigative digging...meaning that my willingness to pull off the layers of my deceit self-willing will be a challenge yes...but far less traumatic if I avoid doing so and therefore require to only realize through the consequence of my programmed planning conditioning playing out.

To be Continued

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