Day 793 - Mind Superior Royalty

“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lock myself up within my word relationships in such a sneaky and deceptive manner of self-trickery that I resist to even speak or write about it....because the pain of self-condemnation as an Inferior and an Imbecile is heart breakingly embarrassing to myself as Mind Superior Royalty who is Superior to such characterizations and behaviours.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the significance of my words and world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist taking authority for my world and words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate direction to misalignment within and as my word and world relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss the extent of my errors and suppression within and as my relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor really extensively investigate myself within and as my words as the science and structured signs of myself here as how I have specifically created myself to be exactly as I am in this moment here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how I created my world through and as the specific impressions i created within and as the words within myself and how it is my words that are in fact very questionable always as my words are the explanation to why my world is exactly the way it is. I realize my words are not valid as an excuse of justification for why and how I am here within and as the world. I realize who and how I have existed within and as the world as been an excuse and justification, in a way, my ignorance and incompetence, a lack of Life regard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking stimulation externally to charge myself internally as how I have conditioned my preferences within my mind for feeding off of my physical body from day to day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust within my thinking as how to best feed off my body for energetic highs and lows as to give me the perfect chemical concoction i desire in the moment to satisfy a seemingly internal and external craving for more and more consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the addiction i have created within and as my mind to feed off myself, my life, all life as an energetic kick back. Conflict.

Tension for the attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to crave the continuous pulsation of tension within my body to feel something, because without a constant stressing and straining in way of engagement i have an experience of being unfulfilled.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to get my fill of consumption, a point of tension in creating rifts, conflict, as various forms of self-abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how extensively integrated my conditioned behavior and personality is for destructive self-abuse...and therefore world abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to get real, make the daily commitment to deconstruct my constructions of word/world relationships that i exist in and as separation to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck around with actually living words for real and creating myself and world as I would like.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make believe that really investigating myself within and as Words is something that is not totally necessary....is entertaining and enjoyable but at the same time a lot of effort and work and therefor avoidable and personally i rather go about this process of word/world entanglement in a less than organized and structured manner because the task and process is overwhelming to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed with the process of word and world entanglement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that i must think of everything before i can really do anything.\

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself back from playing and working on Potential developments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how One in fact goes about Creating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist being totally self-honest with myself here and that I haven't understood Creation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear looking inferior to others in my understanding, knowledge and application of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to penalize myself within and as a result of conditioning myself to be controlled through fear of not Knowing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the process of Know thy Self, is to in fact stand in the face of Not Knowing, and to from here, Walk, take the steps to: Investigating, Learning, Asking Questions, play and work with things so that I know.

Day 549 Facing the Drama Here

In my previous blog I said, "I don't really have much drama in my life if any." I reflected upon these words here and I see this as a result of me having been isolated within my own mind where I have been disconnected from the total physical reality here. Because the total reality of Life here is full of drama as like so much injustices/trauma/abuse existing here. Within this I see how it is my self-responsibility to face the music/drama here as all the injustices/abuse/trauma existing here. Like what is this Life I have here for if I do not stand up to do everything within my capabilities to stop abuse from existing here within our shared physical reality. I mean look at the way our economic system operates...like how human functioning is based in and around a peculiar relationship rules we've formed around money. Like life is totally disregarded in the name of money. I see how money can be a great tool to facilitate the movement/expression of Life. I realize and understand there needs to be a serious attitude adjustment...where we as humanity get our priorities aligned as what is best for all Life here. Because at the moment we've been actively or passively choosing to take the piss out of Life...as like just real total travesty...as like we've created a real muck of a gong-show scenario that has become quite the global epidemic of rapid destruction of Life/Earth here...as a result of being totally out of line in giving a shit for what is best here within and as our self-responsibility to care for one another and have a sustainable shared reality where we all reap the benefits of the common good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for distancing myself from and as universal responsibility as seeing and realizing and understanding my relationship/agreement with all Life here as what is best for all Life here within and as the starting point principle of oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming sheltered within my personal bubble of things are all good where I can have an easy like vacation style lifestyle because I was a fortunate winner in the birth lottery where I was born into a family of money/elitism...where basically I am benefiting from the atrocious abusive economic system where few benefit and many suffer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been hesitant and resistant to really push myself full force and dedicate my life living here to working on projects that would be for the benefit of future generations of Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get stuck within the all good attitude of focusing on my personal reality while disregarding and distracting myself from the greater outer reality as like the big picture within and as the consideration of Life interconnectedness within and as oneness and equality here where all Life is of and as the highest value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for distracting and confusing myself from the big picture of what is going on within our global reality by choosing to allow myself to get caught up within moments of petty bullshit as like having reactions to others within my personal reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within deeming myself not worthy of taking on a large role within and as the standing here as a being who speaks up for what is best for all Life and directs and facilitates practical living solutions for the betterment of all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within getting caught up within petty bullshit within my mind in relationship to events/beings within my immediate environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for daydreaming about possible courses of action for myself without actually physically moving myself within and as practical living self-movement that is best for all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is enough for me to be at peace/ease within the personal/interpersonal relationships within my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being selfish within not giving enough attention to directing/creating solutions for big picture world problems that exist within our reality. I realize and u understand that obviously in order for myself to be in a position of creating/directing big picture solutions for our shared reality that I have to stand effectively within all the small points/relationships as the personal and interpersonal relationship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justified not pushing myself to investigate all the atrocities that exist within our shared reality because I do not experience a desired positive energetic stimulationfrom doing so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been conditioned to only give my attention to that which I believe will give me a positive energetic experience. I realize and understand the design flaw within only focusing on the positive energetic experience...as this is the current predicament of humanity as like we are fueling the chaos/drama/abuse/disease within not realizing how we disregarding our equality and oneness within and as everything here.

To be Continued

Day 475 Information F%$K YOU!

Hey, Check out the Youtube video I did "Information F%$K YOU!"

I had wrote a bit of a script...kind of a ranting and raving in relation to the point of conflict...like wanting to fight others as a result of the accepted and allowed conflict within myself.

So, below is the script/ranting and raving I wrote out about the point....and following this sharing...I'm going to go into self-forgiveness on the information...as a point of self-support.

I want to fight You…but I don’t know Why I want to fight you…but I want You to fight me back…and if you are not fighting me back…I'm going to get more reactionary…like a nuclear reactor that want’s to explode….you know like some serious terrorist activity…as I terrorize you to show you that I am being terrorized within myself….and what’s typical is blame…like being lame…by saying its because your so this….and being so convincing in being lame…that I  mean like what the fuck….being blinded by the veils of self righteousness…that I know and understand things…and knowing and understanding being possessed by a feeling/emotion/train of thought…thinking…is a dangerous kind of knowing….and so …I've come to see that what the fuck of such behaviour….and I mean…really ….I am so done…with looking for fights….why the fuck would I want to fight with anyone…I mean fighting is a point of inflicting punishment upon  another…and getting punishment pain, force inflicted upon yourself….I mean its really ridiculous how I allowed information to be a point of pain and punishment inflicted upon myself….as like OK…I can fight myself with this information…like…maybe I wont be consciously aware of it…and I just have a self righteous reaction because… all reactions are some form of self righteousness…and when I'm being  Mr self righteousness…I cant really know anything…which is like the perfect number…for fighting…because when your self righteous you cant feel/sense/be aware of anything….like perception is totally distorted….and I suggest avoiding such wackiness all together…by taking a deep breath and realising all reactions…are nuclear…like radiating terror within are self….that is a threat and compromise to our life and the lives of others…..no wonder…in the news….the big topic of  terrorism...and the war on terror…..we humans are our own terrorists…at least I was…and I didn't even know that the extent of my education was harboring me as a terrorist waiting to exploded….picking and choosing random event to totally blow up on….energy storms…brewed like volcanoes within the human body….sorry body for all the abuse….it;s time I quieted and settled the storm….

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to Fight You.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that You is Me within wanting to Fight You.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding myself as a nuclear reactor just waiting to explode every time I have a reaction and I passively accept and allow it to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the consequences of passively accepting and allowing reactions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to take action as self direction on points of reaction within myself as like giving myself the gift of forgiveness and looking at the absurd ridiculousness on the point of reaction...and realise and understand that if I can't see the absurd ridiculousness on the point of reaction...its because I'm caught within a point of self righteousness that is blinding me from seeing my own absurdity that is overwhelming in ridiculousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pointing the fingers of blame upon others as like a coping mechanism of neglecting to really care and take responsibility and accountability for myself. I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such behaviour and I realise and understand how lame blame is as I realise and understand that blame is the epitome of lame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the danger of passively doing nothing after I have a reaction...and that by just not participating within the reaction is not enough of a safety preventative measure...because the reaction is a point of abuse...and by not realizing it from within myself with self-forgiveness in real time...is like...allowing it to accumulate within myself as a memory that formed as a point of information...where I gave a a particular energetic charge....and the math of giving so many energetic charges within myself...is a resultant explosion/harm/abuse to the physical body...and possibly others....as reactionary behaviour is the cause of abuse in this world....as reactionary behaviour is without any compassion, care, and consideration for well being and is completely irrational.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cycle within particular thought patterns over and over again...as like thinking these are OK...and not like some more negative thought patterns....and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for categorizing and holding onto though patterns that I believe to be positive....and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the self-righteousness connection with positively charged energies...as I see, realise and understand how self-righteousness is in the roots of positive energetic charges...and is in fact why when you are possessed within positive energy....you have noooooooooo idea.....how fucking retarded you in fact are...because it's a point of being blinded by the light....

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be totally fucking retarded within positive energy as a point of self-righteousness....and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how getting focused on the positive energy actually perpetuates mental retardation and blindness from physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to numb myself with self righteousness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to numb myself with reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating numbness to information within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being so possessed within energetic charges in relationship to words/information/observations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for casting spells of blame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fro resisting to dare to look at the extensive nature of lameness within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that looking at lameness within myself is just a point of judging myself and that I shouldn't judge myself as lame because that;s negative and I should rather just twist my word relations/information around so that I view regard myself only in a positive way/light...so that I can trick myself instead of treating myself to actually being a person of integrity and dignity...who wants what;s best for myself and all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my body as my body...and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be at war with my body within passively accepting and allowing reactions/thoughts/feelings/emotions to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for confusing self honesty with self righteousness....and within this not taking the time to breathe and observe the energy charge that is always in play within and as self-righteousness...as the tell tale sign of physical instability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being dishonest within myself when believing myself to be just within having an emotional reaction/explosion projecting energetically charged words onto others...as a point of not being able to handle my shit...and not caring who has problems dealing with my shit...cause...I don;t want it to be my problem...and I just gotta get it out of me by projecting it onto others.

I commit myself to stop fighting with myself and others.

When and as I see myself fighting with myself and or another, I stop and breathe...I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such behaviour....I smile as I realise crisis adverted within stopping and breathing. lol. I direct self-forgiveness in the moment, as I see and realise the physical practicality of moment to moment application of self-forgiveness....as self-forgiveness as an installed application within myself is like a DIY physical body purifier.

When and as I see myself having a reaction, I Stop and breathe...I direct myself into utilizing  my installed application of self-forgiveness as my go to tool of support within myself. I enable myself to see and realise the absurd ridiculousness in relation to the particular point of reaction as I apply myself within and as the process of self-forgiveness. I see and realise how I receive awesomeness as like the funny of understanding the abusrd ridiculousness of a point within forgiving myself for a point because the dimension of funny is connected to every single point as are all dimensions connected to every single point...and I realise and understand the support within utilizing funny as a tool to assist and support self-expansion as like a way that makes process always fun.

I commit myself to fun within and as the process of self-realization through applying the physical application of self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to sharing the stellar awesomeness of self-forgiveness as a global solution that must be implemented on an individual level.

I commit myself to living the physical installment of self-forgiveness as like an application that is ingrained into the law of my Beingness...as I realise and understand the starting point of creation is within self-forgiveness...as I see and realise the starting point of creation as Equality and Oneness.

When and as I see myself manipulating information to paint and portray a positive light/energy...I stop and breathe...and I realise and understand the fuckedness of such participation...I move myself to investigate my behaviour within running the application of physical self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to physically ingraining self-forgiveness into myself as a point of common sense obviousness...as like one and equal to the point of breathing...as a point of my physical embodiment as a point of self-support and self direction in being here as a real living being who cannot be compromised...and who stands for all Life as what is best for all Life.