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Thursday, 29 May 2014

Day 640 Tree Planting Chapter 4 In Your Face Self-Reflection

Tree Planting Chapter 4 In Your Face Self-Reflection

So, I find it interesting to see and realize that deep down within our self we all desire the very same thing(s). That is what is Awesome.
Now,  the meticulous detailed specifics of what is awesome may vary slightly as there is so much that encompassed the awe of awesome.
I was working with 2 fellow planters today...doing a bit of extra work..."overtime" if you this was our "day off" from planting before our next shift of planting begins...this was a little special mission that we volunteered to take on. Points that stand out from this special mission is the fact that we all expressed the desire to have our own land...and the desire to work the land...and utilize what the land is able to this is interesting that we were talking about this as we were planting life into the land. Now, we also talked about the point of building our own homes on the land...and one of the guys has gotten himself some specific training in how to build log homes.  I had researched about straw bale houses...and he was familiar.

Now, point of my sharing here is on the topic of self reflection that deep down we are all the same and we all want the same things at a very basic for instance our own home and our own land to produce food for where things get a little individualized with wants is in the area of actual like a form of education and entertainment play and pursuits of development and expression as like how we choose to utilize our free time.
This leads me here to sharing about the brutal truth of my self reflection this afternoon and this evening with regards to acceptance of self here...and the desire to be validated by another self an equal.

This point comes up in specific relation to the nature of the relationship that exists with alcohol here within our human culture. Alcohol is like the social like the coming together acceptance and allowance...that as we share this drink together we can in turn socialize and validate one another within sharing this depressive I say depressive drink because scientifically it is fact that alcohol exists as a depressant....and the point of alcohol being regarded as something the majority of humans like to have and share with one another as a point of bonding is rather sad...and most unfortunate.

Now, I realized at quite a young age...that my use of alcohol was for these specific purposes...that it was a way for me to feel more comfortable interacting with like feeling like I belong more with others here...and that alcohol was a drink I referred to as liquid like I could use the alcohol to say whatever I felt like a way to feel like I am temporarily opening myself up....and also the fact that now I had a point in common with all these other people at a basic level of socializing from and as the perspective that they too are full of fear suppression and drink the alcohol as a point of wanting to have a good time and enjoy oneself.

Now, here in the tree planting culture in which I am immersed within ...alcohol is hugely popular. Drugs are also not uncommon. Pot is about as common as cigarette smoking...arguably less popular than it was some years ago...though...smoking in general is also quite popular among tree planters.
Now,  it is interesting to me...because I have had much resistance to wanting to put in much face time around others while engaging in socializing with alcohol. It's interesting because the socializing that occurs for the most part is in relationship to the drugs and the like the necessary fuel to unwind and have a good it is the good time medicine.

What is interesting to reflect upon is how I, in the past regarded marijuana as my medicine. Like, I needed my weed to be OK...I can recall saying that I would be OK with being any where in the world...specifically...i believe I stated that I could be anywhere as long as I had my weed...and look at the my stability...and comfort...and ability to be at one within myself...i believed to be totally dependent upon my ability to have my medicine...It's interesting because I regarded weed medicine as like quite powerful and strong stuff that was really helping me expand myself.

What's interesting about all this reflection that there was a hesitance within me about actually looking at my starting point for my indulgence within substances.

Also...the point of intimately seeing others as me too. Like seeing and realizing and understanding my Self responsibility in communicating and socializing with others as a point of support and assistance for myself/others here.

What's interesting to see, is how easy it has been for me to go into a self-righteous character and cast out blame projections towards others as like a self-hypothesized theorized justification as how the others are just too fucked and that there ability to really give a shit and change their outlook is just so limited and that it is really a waste of my time to socialize with these depressed/suppressed/hippy drug and alcohol users who believe it's all good man and that things are cool and there all about having a good time and experiencing the good feelings within the right now of consciousness like just focus on the positive man...and ya lets just hang out together and party...have our drink and just have a good time.

"See", what is interesting about all this, ...., is, this is me facing me here.
What do I mean when and as I say..."this is me facing me here?"

I mean, this is me, facing myself here.

See, everyone here is me and you.

You is me and me is you.

The tough pill to swallow if you will, is that once you actually "dare to investigate" the extent of our self here...and question what is best for all life here....there is no turning is a point of a certain strength of character required in honoring life here...and facing the challenges here, such as fellow humans within immense self-suppression...that there is a duty of care required speak to, and as the strength of each persons character...regardless of how suppressed and buried it may very well be....SEE, and as our ability to "Live" the words we Speak as a Visible example within our community as the Question, the Answer and the Solution.


See here how my particular situation within my tree planting community brings about many questions: like; why i do not drink or do drugs.

Questions are a cool vehicle to getting somewhere.

Solutions are the best way to answer like a showing the way how to do that another can have the point be explained and exemplified for that there mind is totally clear within and as how the point can in fact actually be the will and the way have already been shown...what now opens up within an individual...another as self that very point of having a tough pill to swallow with regards to and as the truth of and as our self reflection here....our Self "in" "to" "me" "I" "see".

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