Day 12, Relationship Fuckup Because of Desire to Sleep with other Women

 

So, in my dream I had a threesome. I think it was a three some..All I recall was hooking up with this girl who was in a relationship with this dude and he was cool about the whole thing...like I dont remember fooling around with him...but i remember being attracted to his girlfriend and fooling around with her and I recall the next morning I was hanging out with the two of them...kinda waiting for my girlfriend to show up...and when she did..i was told her all about what happended...and I had expectations of her being pleased and kinda congratulating me and saying great job mike, you're soo good at sharing and giving. lol. Anyways...that's not what happened,..my girlfriend was pissed,..not pleased....and it's kinda like...i was looking at the other couple and they were pretty chill and relaxed about the whole thing...and my girlfriend was kinda like fuck off and left...and i was kinda standing there alone...like ohh shit...I just kinda fucked up my relationship commitment to my girlfriend by feeding the desire to have sex with other women...like I justified it because the other women really wanted me to fuck her and her boyfriend was supportive of the situation.

Ok, some points of self forgiveness open up out of this dream. Desire to have sex with other women, Ego that i'm god's gift to women and it's my duty to pleasure all women that ask for my dick, expectation based on assumption and ego superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to have sex with other women.

I forgive myself for not realising that previous relationships I have been in have failed because of my desire to have sex with other women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that it's my duty to have sex with as many women as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I'm god's gift to women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for  desiring to pleasure women.

I forgive myself for not realising that desire to have sex with other women and desire to pleasure other women has been a point that has accumulated and compounded within myself as a result of not directing this point affectively in the past.

I forgive myself for not realising that desiring to have sex and pleasure multiple women may have been a consequence of masturbating to porn when I was younger.

I forgive myself for not considering the consequences of masturbating to pornography and creating desires of sexual images and fantasies in my head while arousing myself with masturbation.

I forgive myself for not realising how I fed into the point of desire as like a point of worship and fantasy through actively working my dick with my hand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to cope with desire instead of facing the point outright with self forgiveness and self honesty.

I forgive myself for justifying desire to be ok as long as i don't act on my desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having avoided looking and facing these points of sexual desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying sexual desire as normal and that it cannot be fucked up because everybody does it....I forgive myself for not realising that pretty much everybody is fucked up to a certain extent and that justifying fuckedness as normality is fucked up fuckedness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing myself to be better than other males at pleasuring women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that the idea/belief of ego greatness is a result of self suppression and feelings og inadequacies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for building my ego up within masturbation where I am always the big dick here saviour that women worship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling obligated to grant everyone women's wish of inserting my dick inside them upon there every request.

I forgive myself for not realising how exhausting it would be trying to dick please multiple women.

I forgive myself for sabotaging past relationships with the desire to have sex with a new women or a women that I had previously only slept with a few times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging  my partners that I have had sex with and comparing my sexual partners against one another and I forgive myself for not realising that sexaul relationship fulfillment and self intimacy is a pillar of support that grows in stature and excellence over time and it is in time as the commitment to one another as bulding excellence and together as a pillar of excellence that greatness and absolute sexual fulfillment is established.

I forgive myself for desiring to fee mind ideas as ego...and I forgive myself for not realising that mind ideas as ego is mental masturbation and acting upon mental masturbation is a real jack off move.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking to my girlfriend to support and prasie my big ego.

I forgive myself for not realising that my girlfriend is supporting me by not praising big ego bullshit.

I forgive myself for not realising the limmitations of placing expectaions based on assumption and again forgetting about the ass of you and me I create with and as participating in and as assumptions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mental masturbating in my mind with thoughts/fantasies/desires of ideas I have built up as a result of years of masturbation to porno.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppresing the manifested consequences of jerking off to porno.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing and degrading women by allowing fucked up desires within myself where they are like fans or fanatics for my cock.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mindfucking myself about how to fuck with my dick and what and who to fuck with my dick. I forgive myself for obsessing about using my dick.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for waiting to address my dick issues as desires to use my dick to fuck women and I forgive myself for not realising what a dickhead ive been as a result of mastubating to porn and feed dickheadedness by giving attention and acting upon mental masturbation scenarios.

I forgive myself for having suppressed my dickheadedness.

I forgive myself for not realising that hiding from facing dickheadedness just makes dickheadedness big and a more brutal dick to handle as the consequences of fucking with myself as big dickheaded issues as a result of the compunding accumulation factor of feeding dickheadedness.

feeding dickheadedness lol. funny ridiculousness

i realise  previous relationships I have been in have failed because of my desire to have sex with other women.

I realise desire to have sex with other women and desire to pleasure other women has been a point that has accumulated and compounded within myself as a result of not directing this point affectively in the past.
 
I realise desiring to have sex and pleasure multiple women may have been a consequence of masturbating to porn when I was younger.

I realise how I fed into the point of desire as like a point of worship and fantasy through actively working my dick with my hand.

I realise how exhausting it would be trying to dick please multiple women.

I realise that sexaul relationship fulfillment and self intimacy is a pillar of support that grows in stature and excellence over time and it is in time as the commitment to one another as bulding excellence and together as a pillar of excellence that greatness and absolute sexual fulfillment is established.

 I realise my girlfriend is supporting me by not praising big ego bullshit.

I realise the limmitations of placing expectaions based on assumption and again forgetting about the ass of you and me I create with and as participating in and as assumptions.

I realise hiding from facing dickheadedness just makes dickheadedness big and a more brutal dick to handle as the consequences of fucking with myself as big dickheaded issues as a result of the compunding accumulation factor of feeding dickheadedness.

I commit myself to self correcting dickheadedness as self forgiveness on all points of mental masturbation that come up withing my mind from moment to moment. I am aware that this is a process that will take time as I realise it took time to create dickheadedness in the first place as feeding mental masturbation with physical masturbation..

I commit myself to walk with my partner as a pillar of support and live the self realisations that self-fulfillment is a self-fulfilling-prophecy as living here as self-satisfaction free from mental masturbation.

I commit myself to sharing my self-realisations about dickheadedness so that I can assist and support the eradication of dickheadedness as ego and mental masturbation.

I commit myself to exposing the fuckedness of porno.

I commit myself to exposing the fuckedness of mental masturbation.

I commit myself to exposing the seceret mind as ego as the root of all fuckedness.

I am commitment here as Life Excellence.

Day 11, Funny

 


The best funny is self-realisation....seeing the ridiculousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting seeing the ridiculousness of my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for not realising that when I cannot see the ridiculousness of myself of myself I am possessed by my own ridiculousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting self-expression as funny by accepting and allowing condemnation as judgement that is abuse that locks the funny away as to diminsh self-realisation as a point of self-sabotage because of accepted and allowed self-righteousness as a polarity friction within myself.

I forgive myself for not realising the funny is me as everywhere as the ridiculous exposed in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to force funny to be funny.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as funny.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing losing control as a result of embracing the funny that I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for experiencing guilt about what is and isnt funny.

I forgive myself for not realising that funny cannot exist within polarity friction and funny is to realise the whole point of and as a self-realisation.

I forgive myself for not realising that funny is a release from accepting and allowing fear as the shackles that suppress fun and funny as a living self-expression in every moment.

I forgive myself for not realising that fun is in funny and funding and funerals and furniture and funnels and having funds to express yourself and thus an equal money system assists and supports equal fun funds funding funerals funneled furniture. I realise the above statement is ridiculous, lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the realisation that funny and fun cannot practically be lived in every moment within and as self suppression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting sharing the funny out of fear that the funny will be too powerful and cause soo many ridiculous reactions that I fear dealing with and exposing the ridiculousness of such reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a false sense of humility by believing that funny is determined by the peoples emotions and feelings around me and that if the mood is low than it is not the time to be funny and funny is only suppose to exist when and as I am high.

I forgive myself for not realising the harmonious oneness and equality as seeing a point with clarity and laughing as the point as all as one equal and one as a self expression as confirmations of and as a self-realisation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that funny is hard or easy to get.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not living the self realisation that I am funny and funny is always within and as me as who I am and that I got it and thus I don't need to get it because I am it and thus I can never lose myself as funny because I realise myself as oneness and equality as the but of my own joke as I am the joke and the joker and the point of funny is me and is all together as everyone as everyone is in on and a part of the joke.

I forgive myself for not realising that  my ability to embrace funny is suppressed when I fear consequences of seeing realising living the funny as who I am because than I am exposed as seeing and being ridiculous.

I forgive myself for not realising fearing ridiculousness is fear self as funny and is a result of self doubt as self suppression as self imposed limitation as eternal damnation as a result of self imposed suffering because it is justified as a surival mechanism to cope with the accepted and allowed fear that consumes and possesses myself as a result of the consequences of not wanting to see me as funny and ridiculous in and as the nature of me being here.

I forgive myself for not realising the courage and honour and cool fun awesomeness in sharing and living the funny as a point of assisting and supporting self honesty as the seeds of awesomeness as a gift I have the abilty to share and a gift I like to recieve. I forgive myself for suppressing the simplicity of the principle of 'giving as I like to recieve'. I forgive myself for not realising that the best nourishmnet I can give myself is giving myself that which I like to recieve and appreciate and live gratefullness as appreciation for life as which I have been given.

I forgive myself for not realising the practical living as funny as words as real life meaningfull self expression as assitance and support in all ways as most excellent unconditional awesomeness.

I realise when I cannot see the ridiculousness of myself of myself I am possessed by my own ridiculousness.

I realise funny is me as everywhere as the ridiculous exposed in every moment.

I realise funny cannot exist within polarity friction and funny is to realise the whole point of and as a self-realisation.

I realise funny cannot exist within polarity friction and funny is to realise the whole point of and as a self-realisation.

I realise funny is a release from accepting and allowing fear as the shackles that suppress fun and funny as a living self-expression in every moment.

I realise fun is in funny and funding and funerals and furniture and funnels and having funds to express yourself and thus an equal money system assists and supports equal fun funds funding funerals funneled furniture. I realise the above statement is ridiculous, lol.

I realise my ability to embrace funny is suppressed when I fear consequences of seeing realising living the funny as who I am because than I am exposed as seeing and being ridiculous.

I realise fearing ridiculousness is fear self as funny and is a result of self doubt as self suppression as self imposed limitation as eternal damnation as a result of self imposed suffering because it is justified as a surival mechanism to cope with the accepted and allowed fear that consumes and possesses myself as a result of the consequences of not wanting to see me as funny and ridiculous in and as the nature of me being here.

I realise the courage and honour and cool fun awesomeness in sharing and living the funny as a point of assisting and supporting self honesty as the seeds of awesomeness as a gift I have the abilty to share and a gift I like to recieve. I forgive myself for suppressing the simplicity of the principle of 'giving as I like to recieve'. I forgive myself for not realising that the best nourishmnet I can give myself is giving myself that which I like to recieve and appreciate and live gratefullness as appreciation for life as which I have been given.

I realise the practical living as funny as words as real life meaningfull self expression as assitance and support in all ways as most excellent unconditional awesomeness.

I commit myself to living fun funny awesomness in ways that is best for life as an example and creator of fun funny awesomeness always planting seeds of awesomeness so that awesome may blossom and bloom everywhere in always as an expression that is best for all in always.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting the implimentation of an equal money system by sharing practical common sense about the absolute awesomeness of a system of excellence and that anything less is self imposed limitation that is unacceptable ridiculous abuse.

I commit myself to embracing funny with courage and honour and humour and humbleness and humility as a fun funny joker that is here as a soldier for live in all ways best.

I commit myself to playing with the work I do and laugh along the way of processing myself as the fruits of my labour as I birth myself as Life from the physical as the purification of the law of my being as total harmonization as Oneness and Equality here always.

I commit myself to recieving gifts as the presence of self awareness always presenting the gift of life in every moment of breath all ways here as unconditional awesomeness.

I commit myself to be appreciative and gratefull for all the funny that is shared with me as seeds of awesomeness that grow within me as point of unconditional eternal self support.

I commit myself to sharing self-fulfillment as a detective that detects funny that is always seeing and realising funny ridiculous moments and sharing the detections for Life's benefit to assist and support the nourishment of and as nature.

I commit myself to using resistance as my road map to uncover and share the fun and funny always as a living example of what is best for all life in all ways.

I commit myself to living a self fulfilling prophecy as Heaven on Earth to facilitate and direct what is best for existence in all ways most excellent awesomeness.

I commit myself to sharing the self realisation of awesome as awe-so-me as you is me and me is you and there is always some awe in awesome as awe yaaaaaa that's fucking awesome as the absolute best fucking that stand as the eternal orgasm always here as life sustance.

Day 10, Correcting Self-Righteous Judgement

Ok, so I noticed that I have a negative connotation/charge to the word, 'judgement'. And, because of holding onto a polarity definition about the word judgement, my perception has been wack as ive realised that soo many times I judge peoples judgements.  Like...I've reacted many times to peoples judgement..as like me being a self-righteous fucker who is better than judgement...yet I've been holding onto an unbalanced polarity charged definition of the word, 'judgement'. Because of allowing this, it's like i've been coping with judgements and my self-righteousness. Like I know self-righteousness is fucked and is essentially the same thing as judgement...yet I didnt realise how I was perpetuating this coping with reactions/judgements as a result of having defined judgement as negative...giving it a polarity charge.

Ok, so a lil more about the definition of judgement that I had created: bad,negative,nasty, wrong, guilty, exposure, blame, fuckedness.

So, my expereince in relation to the word 'judgement' has been bad, negative,nasty,wrong,guilty,exposed, blame, fuckedness...which has been like a buffet of reactions...though...it's like...ive been trying not to allow judgement...yet it's been my relationship with the word that has caused my self-righteous judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining judgment with a negative charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how I had been reacting to all forms of judgement as a negative charge because I had accepted and allowed judgement to exist as defined in my mind as a negative charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving a negative polarity charge to the words; negative, bad, nasty, guilty, exposure, wrong, blame and fuckedness.

I forgive myself for not realising that the words I had connected to judgement had all carried the same energetic polarity charge as judgement.

I forgive myself for not realising that my entire relationship with words had consisted of connecting words with like charges to the initial word I have given a polarity charge. I realise that it is my self-responsibility to purify words as the purification of the law of my being. I realise that the process i walk is in and as self correction as I correct my faults as faulty programming that is not best for everyone. I realise I am walking self-correction.

I forgive myself for not realising the extent of my self-righteousness by allowing myself to participate with and as polarity charged words. I reaslise that it is my self-responsibility to equalize my words/vocabulary so that I do not allow any self-righteous-judgement to exist within me as living words.

I forgive myself for not realising that if I have even one word within myself that has polarity charge, than I am in fact not standing as oneness and equality togerther merged as me like the intertwining of my dna as perfection and that I have a point of self-righteous-judgement within myself that must be self-corrected as to equalize myself as living words as equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for not realising the simplicity of the statement, "words are innocent."  I realise that words are inncoent and I realise that innocence means without fault and to be free of judgement and guilt. I realise that living words as innocence is the process bit by bit I am accumulating as I purify my vocabulary as equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for not realising the extent to which I react to words and how I have been possessed and consumed by words based on the energetic charges I have given to words. I realise I've gotten caught on trains of thought because of the feelings/emotions infused with the words that come up within my mind and that when I give attention/react to words/thoughts within my mind,..that is like the train leaving the station...me going down the rabbit hole or into the vortex of my mind like a cyclone and just allowing myself to go on a loopity loop roller coaster ride of buzzingness based on the relationships with words that is rooted in energetic polarity equations to feelings/emotions that act like a chemical concotion as a potion that creates and feeds off my life force essence.

I forgive myself for realising that the words I speak are polluted and tainted if I have any polarity charges attached to my words.  I forgive myself for not realising the extent to which I have been a diaper mouth. I realise self expression as words comes without having any conflict with words as all words are innocent here as equality and oneness. I realise I created conflict within myself by allowing conflict to exist between words as positive charge and negative charge as the war/battle of good words versus bad words.

I forgive myself for not realising that giving words a polarity charge is like drugs influencing the mind as either a high or a low.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the grotesque nastyness of trying to make all my words positive. I forgive myself for not realising the brutal nasty imbalanced slant of feeding a super high...and I forgive myself for not realising the consequences of feeding a super high...as the total opposite of a super high as a super low.  I forgive myself for not realising the extreme abuse that has resulted from word pollution as attaching/dumping feelings/emotions onto words.I realise the extreme abuse that has resulted from word pollution as attaching/dumping feelings/emotions onto words.

I forgive myself for not realising that I have derived great enjoyment from speaking words that I have not given any polarity-self-righteous-judgements to as feelings/emotions.  I realise that I've enjoyed fucking with peoples reactions to words as self-righteous-polarity-judgements.

I forgive myself for not realising that as I've gotten older my words have been more corrupted with coding as feelings/emotions as polarity self-righteous judgements. I forgive myself for not realising how the mind as programming codes as thoughts/feelings/emotions compounded day after day...year after year as a result of my continuous particpation within and as a mind consciousness system.  I realise the fuckedness of participating as thoughts/feelings/emotions as like exstensifying the prison walls/self imposed limitation format.

I commit myself to re-defining words so that I equalize myself as living words and stop perpetuating abuse as separation as self-righteous polarity judgement.

I commit myself to living the change as I purify polluted words to words that can stand the test of time as onenesss and eqaulity as an absoltue harmonious balance.

I commit myself to enjoy living words as life innocence as oneness and equality.

I commit myself to playing and sharing words as unconditional support that facilitates self-realisation as self-expansion braching out as a tree of life breaking down walls of self imposed limitations.


Ok, so looking and playing with the phonetics of the word judgement before i re-define judgement. Judge meant.  Judge-me-an't....judge-meant....judge-ment....as meant like what i meant to say...or you know what I meant...meant...like mean as in meaning of the t...t as in the cross...like jesus being crucified on the cross for everyone judging him...jesus was killed with judgement....jesus forgave all judgements...

So, re-defining judgement as a word one and equal with all other words as life innocence:

 Judgement is like making an assessment...looking and seeing what is here...to use your best judgement is to use common sense...as there is no discrepency in the choice one is making as the decision is clear. It's like looking at the facts that are being presented and understanding the why to the facts being presented...as to know what one meant when they said what they said...like we are always able to understand what each other is saying to us when we without bias and allow ourself to trust ourself as self-honesty here and thus we are one and equal with everything we see and here and thus judgement as a word can be regarded like assesment, common sense, clear decision making. So, when decision making is not clear, this exposes the point of having conflicting judgements of polarity friction...because to use your best judgement is to stand as the judge of what is best for all in all-ways. Self-honesty will always guide the best judgements as common sense assesments that are best for all in all-ways. Important to note that self-forgiveness is the power tool like a power saw,..to cut through the bullshit as definitions as judgements that were not best...meaning self-forgiveness is a self-corrective tool to self-correct bad decisions. Therfore always know that if your judgement is not best that it must be self-forgiven...because only self-forgiveness releases one from the burden of carrying the bondage of fucked up judgements...so self-forgiveness is to unfuck the fuckness so that fuckedness is no more here as a word to describe abuse and can be but a word used to describe stories of a long ago time when fuckedness existed as abuse...because the best judgements were not lived in every moment.

When and as I see myself creating a polarity friction as an energetic charge within myself as a reaction to judgement, I stop, I breathe and I hold my breath for a moment to assist and support me holding onto a point to make sure I see the whole point...so that I can release the point as self forgiveness as one and equal with my breath as to forgive and forget.

When and as I see that I am fucking with myself as polarity judgement, I stop and laugh at the ridiculousness i particpated in and as.

Day 9, Perfect Timing

OK, I wrote in an earlier blog about time and racing around in time and feeling rushed.  And I have more to write about on this point with regards to time of day/night.  It's like Ive placed soo much on the time before midnight...like with writing this blog for example,...the time at the moment of me writing here is 11:53pm. For about the last three hours i've been monitoring the time because i've had an idea setup in my mind that I MUST COMPLETE MY BLOG BEFORE MIDNIGHT.  I've developed a belief that I'm doing well if I get my writing's completed each day...and so I've accepted that the final minutes of my day are just before the clock reaches midnight.  It's interesting because my sleep schedule has not been consistent with a 24hr clock. hahha. Ok, so in having just looked at what i've written i see that I havent been consistent with keeping time on a 12 or 24hr clock.  What? What am I even saying? It's like wow..i'm seeing here that I have judgements about time and where I am in relation to/as time.  Like the whole judgement in my relationship to time being early in my day or late in my day....like technically it's early in my day because the time says 12:02 am or 1:02 in millitary time as a 24 hr clock...yet I also look at the day/night kinda in the middle somewhere because i've been awake for around 8 hrs.

So it's weird that my relationship to where I am in my day/night is based on sleep ...like perspective to time is in relationship to sleep....like my day/night starts or finishes with sleep. Anyway ya, it's like I've kept the same routine with regards to writing for the most part...in the sense that I will write in my blog after a bunch of time has passed since I woke up from my sleep....and I see that I've connected time judgments to my blog writings and what time it is when I am beginning or ending my sleep.

So. the time is now 12:14am and initially I judged the amount of words i've written on the page here in relation to how much time has passed/how long it has taken me to get here.....and it's funny kinda, in examining this point of'getting here' because when I reflect upon 'getting here'...it is always a result of accumulation of all time before now. 

So, here I am in as the time that has taken me to get here.....and hey, here I am over here as the time it has taken me to get to this part in my writing.  Ok, so many parts of my day make up the whole of my day....many moments in time, make up the whole time...so What I'm getting at is that it's ridiculous to keep using time as bench marrk judgement to judge myself because I'm always here with the accumulation of events which lead up to now as the main event...it's like I am the main event always...and I'm constantly taking place in events..and me as the main event goes on as long as I am able to go on.  It's like I sleep when I can no longer perform as the main event.  Like my active physical activity/performance goes on intermission when I go to sleep. Yet really my physicality never goes on intermission because it's here....it's me as my mind as consciousness that cuts out when I go to sleep.  So it's like the fuckedness ive created about time relationships is through my mind as consciousness.  Ok, so I gotta let go of restrictions from my mind in relation to time.

Im gonna pull out self-forgiveness on this ranting and raving about time...as I tackle this point that opened up when I realised I was wanting to just write a blog really quick so that I could have it finished before the clock reached midnight.  It's like I deemed me completing my blog after midnight as a failure.  And here I am at 12:27, facing my fear of not being finished writing before 12am.

It's funny how the events have played out in me writing here...and examining my words....because I'm certain that If I were to stop writing write now and re-read the totality of what I have written thus far...I'm certain it would not take as much time as it has taken me to write. time now is 12:29am. Im'm gonna read now just for fun what Ive written.

Time is now 12:34am

Some intersting points came up as I was reading my words as support.  The point that I was  trying to rush through my words of support so that I could compete my reading here in "good time"...like as an acceptable judgement....a cso called just result based on what I define as acceptable or impressive.  Also, while I was re-reading and making a few adjustments as I was thinking how I gotta inform the reader that I could of been finished reading faster if I wasnt fixing my mistakes. The point opened up that I judge the speed of my reading,,,like I don't like how long it takes me to read.  I want my reading to be instantaniou ...like I look and done....and in saying this...its like haha...it's my focus in how  I look ....like I really got a focus on one word at at time because as I glance at the entirety of my words...it's like I see all the words But I am not processing them as 1+1 accumulation in time to the very last word.  The point also opened up in my writing that wow, I'm writing out my mind as me...like me is what ive accepted and allowed through mind...and it's through my mind that ive created such judgments...and it's like wow ive given such value to my mind and even referred to myself through mind as my mind being the main event...that me as who I am,..am on a break/intermission when I am sleeping.  This was a jaw dropping point to look at ...as it's like wow me as a programmed mind built up/programmed in time,..processing in time the accumulation of events.  Another point that opened up in time was the fact that everyone/everything..all that is here is contributing to the presence here as the main even,,,it's like all here are part of the main event which all of us exist as, as performance/show.

time is 12:46am.

Before I started writing this blog I had a thought about ok, I'll just write for about 10 minutes and wolla that will be my blog and I will get my blog finished/done by the deadline I had self imposed upon myself as 12am.

That's ridiculous that I imposed such a deadline upon myself...because it's like shit! Writing out the points here has taken more time.  It's like me taking on a job and having an expectation that the job will take me this certain specific amount of time to accomplish my goal...and well shit,..When I am almost accomplished my goal...or not even close to being accomplished my goal....and I have already surpassed my expectations,..should I stop and say well....I wasnt expecting to keep going/working past my set expectations?...fuck no,...It's like time is just a measurment for a result/goal....and haha in realising this,..it's like I am always the end of time as the end result as yo yo, it has taken me all the time i've been exisiting through the prison of my mind to get here to this point in writing and talking about it. And yo...it's cool to measure me here...as measure is to me a sure me here,,,lol measure...me a sure...measure me here is to me a sure me here and me as you are me here.  All contributing  to the main event here, earth as our stage, Lets face and measure our performance here so that we can assure we are assisting and supporting the best and greatest performance possible here...because I mean, what the fuck kinda main event is less than the best and greatest performance possible.

Ok, so time now to pull out self-forgiveness from my writing here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for measuring my success based on time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being either earlier or late in relation to being here in time,
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for measuring accomplishmnets based on time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the amnount of time it takes me to read and write.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to time with thoughts/feelings/emotions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my reactions to time as either positive or negative.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being a loser in time that is always trying to win.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to surpass my expectations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to have time expectations that are not changeable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that expectations of how much time is required to complete tasks is a judgment/estimate/measurment based on already established data and does not reflect the end result as my abilities/capabilities are able to imporve beyond my wildest expectations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my timed measurment results.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that time is being wasted in/as justification.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that the mind is a systtem program that has accumulated in time.
I forgive myself fo accepting and allowing myself for for fearing the amount of time that is required to sort out my mind programming.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myelf for worrying about what time it is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a relationship with fear in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing end-times.
I forgive myself for not realising I am the end times.
I forgive myself for thinking about how can I be the end times and that I should not say that I am the end times.
I forgive myself for not realising I am the endtimes because me as time end in every moment and thus I stand as the end times. I am the beginning and the end as the story here always.  Story of nothingness?
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting angry in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to my measurements as time as irritated and frustrated to the results of my measurments.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting bad measurments.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing  to look at poor results. 
I forgive myself for allowing ideas to consume my attention in time.
I forgive myself for setting up ideas in my mind that I must follow because ive had a reaction to a thought which has produced a feeling of ecstacy within me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying how ive spent my time.
I forgive myself for not realising all judgements in time are relative.
I forgive myself for not realising that all I know is in time and that out of time is like the unknown to me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the unknown as being out of time and therfore not having enough time to spend because I am out of time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that time is money.
I forgive myself forr accepting and allowing myself for fearing my money and time runniing out.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define juudgments as acceptable or unnacceptable based upon whether or not my goals or desires are satisfied.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying judgments as acceptable in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my expenses in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying expenses in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating deadlines in time that arent moveable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to extend deadlines so that I can accomplish more goals.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to score goals.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting absolute organization of my time and money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being careless with time and money.
I forgive myself for not realising that I must stand one and equal as/with time and money in order to assist and support the manifestation of an equal-money system.
I forgive myself for not realising the oneness and eqaulity of time is money.
I forgive myself for not realising that I am always centre stage as a live perfromer here on earth.
I forgive myself for not realising that I am performing here centre stage on earth for me.
I forgive myself for not realising that everything I do or dont do is dedicated to me as everything here is me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing bad times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as bad times.
I forgive myself for not realising the simplicity of deleting fears.
I forgive myself for not realising that fearing to delete fears is fearing the unknown...because letting go of fears implies letting go of mind consciousness...and i've come to believe who I am is through and as mind consciousness.
I forgive myself for acceptina and allowing myself for believing who I am is mind consciousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be without mind consciousness systems.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to exist here within mind consciousness systems and not be of mind consciousness systems.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to think my way out of my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to escape my mind by running away from what I have accepted and allowed to exist as my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the work that is required to be done to move through the layers of my mind.
I fogrive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself here in writing as having taken sooooo long to get here and that I should stop applying myself now because i've done enough...and that I should allow myself to stop writing self forgiveness because ive surpassed my expectations with regards to how much writing and self forgiveness is acceptable for a day.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that breaking out of prison as the mind is not for everyone.
I forgive myself for accepting and alllowing myself for enforcing prisons of mind by participating in creating added walls to the prison barrier.
I forgive myself for doubting the power of the group here working in time for results that are best for everyone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my performances in time based on the length of my performances.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that longer performance is better and that shorter performance is worse.
I forgive myself for generalizing performances as being better or worse based on time length in relation to sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging sexual performances as better or worse based on comparing the time of my sexual performances to other sexual performances.
I forgive myself for not realising that comparing my sexual performances are all equal in that they were performed here in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting irritated, frustrated, angry and annoyed with the process of time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing time
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the fact that ive abused time
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to myself in time as feelings/emotions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for beating myself up within and as time.
I forgive myself for not realising the coolness as of time as a measurment marker of my consistency and stability here as application and effectiveness as my performance performing here centre stage.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisiting constructive criticism in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing criticism.
I forgive msyelf for accepting and allowing myself for judging my blog wriitng based on what time it is.
I forgive msyelf for accepting and allowing myself for jusdging my blog writings in relation to sleep.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining time as good. and that i must thterfore be good because I am in time and therfore in good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not liking the mess i have created in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling limited by time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself beleiving I should spend more time writing here when I don't have any more points about time surfacing at the moment.

I realise that I've mind fucked myself with accepted and allowed relationship judgmnet reactions to time.
I realise that I can stop feeding judgment reactions by stopping the participation in giving attention to thought/feelings/emotions.
I realise that an equal money system will assist and support the stabilization of time and money and will act as a platform of support for individuals to sort through their minds.
I realise that I am capable of sorting out my mind and therfore emptying and stopping my mind by effectively organizing my time and money in accordance with what is best for everyone as I stand as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I realise time as a tool of support.
I realise reacting to events that occur in time has no practical effect in re-creating the event that has already occured.
I realise that breaking out of the prison of mind in time is for everyone.
I realise that fearing to delete fears is fearing the unknown...because letting go of fears implies letting go of mind consciousness...and i've come to believe who I am is through and as mind consciousness.
I realise fearing the unknown is ridiculous.
I realise that fearing the unknown is choosing to wait in fear in hope of knowing what it is that isnt known that is feared.
I realise that fear of the unknown is fear of consequence.
I realise that fear of the unknown is fear of change.
I realise that fear of the unknown is fear of death.
I realise that fear of the unkknown is self imposed limitation as bult of resistance to self expansion.
I realise my will is my force in time.
I realise the coolness in structuring my time.
I realise the simplicity of deleting fears.
I realise the assistance and support organization gives time effieiency.
I realise creating angsts about time limits ability to perform well in time.
I realise that trying to rush though performances/tasks in time fucks up tasks and performances in time which requires correction.
I realise the value of time.
I realise the gift of time.
I realise time as the now of consciousness.
I realise being out of time as out of mind.
I realise reacting to time with positve or neagtive thoughts/feelings/emotions is a mind-fuck that fuels mindfucks as positive or negative thoughts/feelings/emotions.
I realise the time is 257am and that ive spent a few hours worth of time examining my relationship with time

When and as I see myself reacting/judging/thinking about the time, I stop, I breathe and I hold my breathe inwards as I assess myself here in time and I clear any points of discrepency within myself  and I release my breath as  I let go of my reactions/judgments/thoughts about the time.

I commit myself to use my time as money as an investment/contribution in and as universal excellence in all ways which is most excellent for being here.

Day 8, No Giving Up on Myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for considering compromise my best efforts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my best efforts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my best efforts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to give in and quit on myself when resistance seems strong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for flirting and entertaining temptation as a point of self sabotaging I'm entertainiing like a bad joke.

I forgive myself for not realising that I cannot actually give up on myself because I am always with myself and therfore I will always face me as my givings. I am grateful for forgiving myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my commitment to myself as self trust. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving attention to self defeatism.

I forgive myself for not realising that I am here as my guide and my trust and my self trust is as simple straight forward self honesty.

I realise that I cannot actually give up on myself because I am always with myself and therefore I will always face me as my giving. I am grateful for forgiving myself.

I realise that I am here as my guide and my trust and my self trust is as simple straight forward self honesty.

I commit myself to facing myself as my guide as self trust, self honesty and self commitment.

I commit myself to performing at my best capabilities and to do my best work.

I commit myself to give all of myself to everything I do.

I commit myself to living self forgiveness.

I am commit to myself as here as the journey to life.

Day 7, Physical Well Being

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate body shape with physical well being.

I forgive myself for not realising that physical well being is more than just a picture presentation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging physical health based upon a picture presentation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having ideas in my mind as the ideal picture presentation for my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my physcal picture presentation of my body as less than adequate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring a more ideal body shape.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded what I was putting into my physical body.

I forgive myself for not considering the consequences of having no regard for the substances I've put into my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for consuming substances based on taste.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting foods that are supportive to my physical well being.

I forgive myself for desiring to eat food that is not optimum support for my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the realisation that some foods are more supportive for my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for supressing communication with my physical body.

I forgive myself for not realising that my physical body is always communicating with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been impulsed into giving into temptation and disregarding foods that are most supportive for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how feelings impulsed my desires to eat certain foods I already have established patterns/relationships with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing my physical well being by ignoring my physical well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking my physical well being for granted.

I forgive myself for not realising I am the starting point of my physical being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my physical being.

I forgive myself for not realising that judging my physical well being as the picture presentation reflection I see in the mirror is a point of self sabotage/abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for comparing my picture presentation of myself to others picture presentation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for comparing and competing as a picture.

I forgive myself for not realising how I separated myself from and as physical presence by viewing myself as a picture.

I forgive myself for placing value in picture presentations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging self worth based on picture presentation.

I forgive myself for not realising how i've contributed to judgement and insecurity within the world by particpating within judgements/insecurities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging people based on their appearance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing judgements necessary in order to make sense of how/who a person is.

I forgive myself for not realising that my world has been entirely make belief as a result of making up judgements.

I forgive myself for not realising that judgements expose the point of make belief delusion.

I forgive myself for not realising that judgment is insecurity.

I realise that judgment is insecurity.
I realise that judgements expose the point of make belief delusions.
I realise that my world had been entirely make belief as a result of making up judgements.
I realise i've contributed to judgement and insecurity as a global delusion by accepting and allowing judgements/insecurities.
I realise that judging my physical well being as the picture presentation reflection I see in the mirror is a point of self sabotage/abuse.
I realise how feelings impulsed my desires to eat certain foods I already have established patterns/relationships with.
I realise my physical body is communication.
I realise physical well being is more than just a picture presentation.

I commit myself to stopping judgment as I realise the abuse that is caused by judgement.

I commit myself to nurturing my physical well being.

I commit myself to letting go of impulsed patterns of self imposed limitation.

I commit myself to operating from the starting point principle of oneness and equality and therfore stand as a living example.

I commit myself to letting go of all picture presentation judgements about physical well being.

I commit myself to stop judging life as pictures.

I commit myself to becoming life birthed from and as the physical.

I commit myself to providing myself with foods that give me optimum nourishment.

I commit myself to recieving physical communication from my body.

I commit myself to becoming aware of my physical body in all ways.

I commit myself to learning about myself in all ways.

I commit myself to physical well being.

I commit myself to purifying the law of my being as oneness and equality.

When and as I see myself disregarding my physical well being, I stop, I breathe and I regard my physical well being in the moment with common sense.