OK, I wrote in an earlier blog about time and racing around in time and feeling rushed. And I have more to write about on this point with regards to time of day/night. It's like Ive placed soo much on the time before midnight...like with writing this blog for example,...the time at the moment of me writing here is 11:53pm. For about the last three hours i've been monitoring the time because i've had an idea setup in my mind that I MUST COMPLETE MY BLOG BEFORE MIDNIGHT. I've developed a belief that I'm doing well if I get my writing's completed each day...and so I've accepted that the final minutes of my day are just before the clock reaches midnight. It's interesting because my sleep schedule has not been consistent with a 24hr clock. hahha. Ok, so in having just looked at what i've written i see that I havent been consistent with keeping time on a 12 or 24hr clock. What? What am I even saying? It's like wow..i'm seeing here that I have judgements about time and where I am in relation to/as time. Like the whole judgement in my relationship to time being early in my day or late in my day....like technically it's early in my day because the time says 12:02 am or 1:02 in millitary time as a 24 hr clock...yet I also look at the day/night kinda in the middle somewhere because i've been awake for around 8 hrs.
So it's weird that my relationship to where I am in my day/night is based on sleep ...like perspective to time is in relationship to sleep....like my day/night starts or finishes with sleep. Anyway ya, it's like I've kept the same routine with regards to writing for the most part...in the sense that I will write in my blog after a bunch of time has passed since I woke up from my sleep....and I see that I've connected time judgments to my blog writings and what time it is when I am beginning or ending my sleep.
So. the time is now 12:14am and initially I judged the amount of words i've written on the page here in relation to how much time has passed/how long it has taken me to get here.....and it's funny kinda, in examining this point of'getting here' because when I reflect upon 'getting here'...it is always a result of accumulation of all time before now.
So, here I am in as the time that has taken me to get here.....and hey, here I am over here as the time it has taken me to get to this part in my writing. Ok, so many parts of my day make up the whole of my day....many moments in time, make up the whole time...so What I'm getting at is that it's ridiculous to keep using time as bench marrk judgement to judge myself because I'm always here with the accumulation of events which lead up to now as the main event...it's like I am the main event always...and I'm constantly taking place in events..and me as the main event goes on as long as I am able to go on. It's like I sleep when I can no longer perform as the main event. Like my active physical activity/performance goes on intermission when I go to sleep. Yet really my physicality never goes on intermission because it's here....it's me as my mind as consciousness that cuts out when I go to sleep. So it's like the fuckedness ive created about time relationships is through my mind as consciousness. Ok, so I gotta let go of restrictions from my mind in relation to time.
Im gonna pull out self-forgiveness on this ranting and raving about time...as I tackle this point that opened up when I realised I was wanting to just write a blog really quick so that I could have it finished before the clock reached midnight. It's like I deemed me completing my blog after midnight as a failure. And here I am at 12:27, facing my fear of not being finished writing before 12am.
It's funny how the events have played out in me writing here...and examining my words....because I'm certain that If I were to stop writing write now and re-read the totality of what I have written thus far...I'm certain it would not take as much time as it has taken me to write. time now is 12:29am. Im'm gonna read now just for fun what Ive written.
Time is now 12:34am
Some intersting points came up as I was reading my words as support. The point that I was trying to rush through my words of support so that I could compete my reading here in "good time"...like as an acceptable judgement....a cso called just result based on what I define as acceptable or impressive. Also, while I was re-reading and making a few adjustments as I was thinking how I gotta inform the reader that I could of been finished reading faster if I wasnt fixing my mistakes. The point opened up that I judge the speed of my reading,,,like I don't like how long it takes me to read. I want my reading to be instantaniou ...like I look and done....and in saying this...its like haha...it's my focus in how I look ....like I really got a focus on one word at at time because as I glance at the entirety of my words...it's like I see all the words But I am not processing them as 1+1 accumulation in time to the very last word. The point also opened up in my writing that wow, I'm writing out my mind as me...like me is what ive accepted and allowed through mind...and it's through my mind that ive created such judgments...and it's like wow ive given such value to my mind and even referred to myself through mind as my mind being the main event...that me as who I am,..am on a break/intermission when I am sleeping. This was a jaw dropping point to look at ...as it's like wow me as a programmed mind built up/programmed in time,..processing in time the accumulation of events. Another point that opened up in time was the fact that everyone/everything..all that is here is contributing to the presence here as the main even,,,it's like all here are part of the main event which all of us exist as, as performance/show.
time is 12:46am.
Before I started writing this blog I had a thought about ok, I'll just write for about 10 minutes and wolla that will be my blog and I will get my blog finished/done by the deadline I had self imposed upon myself as 12am.
That's ridiculous that I imposed such a deadline upon myself...because it's like shit! Writing out the points here has taken more time. It's like me taking on a job and having an expectation that the job will take me this certain specific amount of time to accomplish my goal...and well shit,..When I am almost accomplished my goal...or not even close to being accomplished my goal....and I have already surpassed my expectations,..should I stop and say well....I wasnt expecting to keep going/working past my set expectations?...fuck no,...It's like time is just a measurment for a result/goal....and haha in realising this,..it's like I am always the end of time as the end result as yo yo, it has taken me all the time i've been exisiting through the prison of my mind to get here to this point in writing and talking about it. And yo...it's cool to measure me here...as measure is to me a sure me here,,,lol measure...me a sure...measure me here is to me a sure me here and me as you are me here. All contributing to the main event here, earth as our stage, Lets face and measure our performance here so that we can assure we are assisting and supporting the best and greatest performance possible here...because I mean, what the fuck kinda main event is less than the best and greatest performance possible.
Ok, so time now to pull out self-forgiveness from my writing here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for measuring my success based on time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being either earlier or late in relation to being here in time,
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for measuring accomplishmnets based on time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the amnount of time it takes me to read and write.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to time with thoughts/feelings/emotions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my reactions to time as either positive or negative.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being a loser in time that is always trying to win.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to surpass my expectations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to have time expectations that are not changeable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that expectations of how much time is required to complete tasks is a judgment/estimate/measurment based on already established data and does not reflect the end result as my abilities/capabilities are able to imporve beyond my wildest expectations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my timed measurment results.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that time is being wasted in/as justification.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that the mind is a systtem program that has accumulated in time.
I forgive myself fo accepting and allowing myself for for fearing the amount of time that is required to sort out my mind programming.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myelf for worrying about what time it is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a relationship with fear in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing end-times.
I forgive myself for not realising I am the end times.
I forgive myself for thinking about how can I be the end times and that I should not say that I am the end times.
I forgive myself for not realising I am the endtimes because me as time end in every moment and thus I stand as the end times. I am the beginning and the end as the story here always. Story of nothingness?
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting angry in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to my measurements as time as irritated and frustrated to the results of my measurments.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting bad measurments.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to look at poor results.
I forgive myself for allowing ideas to consume my attention in time.
I forgive myself for setting up ideas in my mind that I must follow because ive had a reaction to a thought which has produced a feeling of ecstacy within me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying how ive spent my time.
I forgive myself for not realising all judgements in time are relative.
I forgive myself for not realising that all I know is in time and that out of time is like the unknown to me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the unknown as being out of time and therfore not having enough time to spend because I am out of time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that time is money.
I forgive myself forr accepting and allowing myself for fearing my money and time runniing out.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define juudgments as acceptable or unnacceptable based upon whether or not my goals or desires are satisfied.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying judgments as acceptable in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my expenses in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying expenses in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating deadlines in time that arent moveable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to extend deadlines so that I can accomplish more goals.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to score goals.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting absolute organization of my time and money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being careless with time and money.
I forgive myself for not realising that I must stand one and equal as/with time and money in order to assist and support the manifestation of an equal-money system.
I forgive myself for not realising the oneness and eqaulity of time is money.
I forgive myself for not realising that I am always centre stage as a live perfromer here on earth.
I forgive myself for not realising that I am performing here centre stage on earth for me.
I forgive myself for not realising that everything I do or dont do is dedicated to me as everything here is me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing bad times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as bad times.
I forgive myself for not realising the simplicity of deleting fears.
I forgive myself for not realising that fearing to delete fears is fearing the unknown...because letting go of fears implies letting go of mind consciousness...and i've come to believe who I am is through and as mind consciousness.
I forgive myself for acceptina and allowing myself for believing who I am is mind consciousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be without mind consciousness systems.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to exist here within mind consciousness systems and not be of mind consciousness systems.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to think my way out of my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to escape my mind by running away from what I have accepted and allowed to exist as my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the work that is required to be done to move through the layers of my mind.
I fogrive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself here in writing as having taken sooooo long to get here and that I should stop applying myself now because i've done enough...and that I should allow myself to stop writing self forgiveness because ive surpassed my expectations with regards to how much writing and self forgiveness is acceptable for a day.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that breaking out of prison as the mind is not for everyone.
I forgive myself for accepting and alllowing myself for enforcing prisons of mind by participating in creating added walls to the prison barrier.
I forgive myself for doubting the power of the group here working in time for results that are best for everyone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my performances in time based on the length of my performances.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that longer performance is better and that shorter performance is worse.
I forgive myself for generalizing performances as being better or worse based on time length in relation to sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging sexual performances as better or worse based on comparing the time of my sexual performances to other sexual performances.
I forgive myself for not realising that comparing my sexual performances are all equal in that they were performed here in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting irritated, frustrated, angry and annoyed with the process of time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing time
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the fact that ive abused time
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to myself in time as feelings/emotions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for beating myself up within and as time.
I forgive myself for not realising the coolness as of time as a measurment marker of my consistency and stability here as application and effectiveness as my performance performing here centre stage.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisiting constructive criticism in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing criticism.
I forgive msyelf for accepting and allowing myself for judging my blog wriitng based on what time it is.
I forgive msyelf for accepting and allowing myself for jusdging my blog writings in relation to sleep.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining time as good. and that i must thterfore be good because I am in time and therfore in good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not liking the mess i have created in time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling limited by time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself beleiving I should spend more time writing here when I don't have any more points about time surfacing at the moment.
I realise that I've mind fucked myself with accepted and allowed relationship judgmnet reactions to time.
I realise that I can stop feeding judgment reactions by stopping the participation in giving attention to thought/feelings/emotions.
I realise that an equal money system will assist and support the stabilization of time and money and will act as a platform of support for individuals to sort through their minds.
I realise that I am capable of sorting out my mind and therfore emptying and stopping my mind by effectively organizing my time and money in accordance with what is best for everyone as I stand as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I realise time as a tool of support.
I realise reacting to events that occur in time has no practical effect in re-creating the event that has already occured.
I realise that breaking out of the prison of mind in time is for everyone.
I realise that fearing to delete fears is fearing the unknown...because letting go of fears implies letting go of mind consciousness...and i've come to believe who I am is through and as mind consciousness.
I realise fearing the unknown is ridiculous.
I realise that fearing the unknown is choosing to wait in fear in hope of knowing what it is that isnt known that is feared.
I realise that fear of the unknown is fear of consequence.
I realise that fear of the unknown is fear of change.
I realise that fear of the unknown is fear of death.
I realise that fear of the unkknown is self imposed limitation as bult of resistance to self expansion.
I realise my will is my force in time.
I realise the coolness in structuring my time.
I realise the simplicity of deleting fears.
I realise the assistance and support organization gives time effieiency.
I realise creating angsts about time limits ability to perform well in time.
I realise that trying to rush though performances/tasks in time fucks up tasks and performances in time which requires correction.
I realise the value of time.
I realise the gift of time.
I realise time as the now of consciousness.
I realise being out of time as out of mind.
I realise reacting to time with positve or neagtive thoughts/feelings/emotions is a mind-fuck that fuels mindfucks as positive or negative thoughts/feelings/emotions.
I realise the time is 257am and that ive spent a few hours worth of time examining my relationship with time
When and as I see myself reacting/judging/thinking about the time, I stop, I breathe and I hold my breathe inwards as I assess myself here in time and I clear any points of discrepency within myself and I release my breath as I let go of my reactions/judgments/thoughts about the time.
I commit myself to use my time as money as an investment/contribution in and as universal excellence in all ways which is most excellent for being here.
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