Day 12, Relationship Fuckup Because of Desire to Sleep with other Women

 

So, in my dream I had a threesome. I think it was a three some..All I recall was hooking up with this girl who was in a relationship with this dude and he was cool about the whole thing...like I dont remember fooling around with him...but i remember being attracted to his girlfriend and fooling around with her and I recall the next morning I was hanging out with the two of them...kinda waiting for my girlfriend to show up...and when she did..i was told her all about what happended...and I had expectations of her being pleased and kinda congratulating me and saying great job mike, you're soo good at sharing and giving. lol. Anyways...that's not what happened,..my girlfriend was pissed,..not pleased....and it's kinda like...i was looking at the other couple and they were pretty chill and relaxed about the whole thing...and my girlfriend was kinda like fuck off and left...and i was kinda standing there alone...like ohh shit...I just kinda fucked up my relationship commitment to my girlfriend by feeding the desire to have sex with other women...like I justified it because the other women really wanted me to fuck her and her boyfriend was supportive of the situation.

Ok, some points of self forgiveness open up out of this dream. Desire to have sex with other women, Ego that i'm god's gift to women and it's my duty to pleasure all women that ask for my dick, expectation based on assumption and ego superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to have sex with other women.

I forgive myself for not realising that previous relationships I have been in have failed because of my desire to have sex with other women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that it's my duty to have sex with as many women as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I'm god's gift to women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for  desiring to pleasure women.

I forgive myself for not realising that desire to have sex with other women and desire to pleasure other women has been a point that has accumulated and compounded within myself as a result of not directing this point affectively in the past.

I forgive myself for not realising that desiring to have sex and pleasure multiple women may have been a consequence of masturbating to porn when I was younger.

I forgive myself for not considering the consequences of masturbating to pornography and creating desires of sexual images and fantasies in my head while arousing myself with masturbation.

I forgive myself for not realising how I fed into the point of desire as like a point of worship and fantasy through actively working my dick with my hand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to cope with desire instead of facing the point outright with self forgiveness and self honesty.

I forgive myself for justifying desire to be ok as long as i don't act on my desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having avoided looking and facing these points of sexual desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying sexual desire as normal and that it cannot be fucked up because everybody does it....I forgive myself for not realising that pretty much everybody is fucked up to a certain extent and that justifying fuckedness as normality is fucked up fuckedness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing myself to be better than other males at pleasuring women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that the idea/belief of ego greatness is a result of self suppression and feelings og inadequacies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for building my ego up within masturbation where I am always the big dick here saviour that women worship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling obligated to grant everyone women's wish of inserting my dick inside them upon there every request.

I forgive myself for not realising how exhausting it would be trying to dick please multiple women.

I forgive myself for sabotaging past relationships with the desire to have sex with a new women or a women that I had previously only slept with a few times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging  my partners that I have had sex with and comparing my sexual partners against one another and I forgive myself for not realising that sexaul relationship fulfillment and self intimacy is a pillar of support that grows in stature and excellence over time and it is in time as the commitment to one another as bulding excellence and together as a pillar of excellence that greatness and absolute sexual fulfillment is established.

I forgive myself for desiring to fee mind ideas as ego...and I forgive myself for not realising that mind ideas as ego is mental masturbation and acting upon mental masturbation is a real jack off move.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking to my girlfriend to support and prasie my big ego.

I forgive myself for not realising that my girlfriend is supporting me by not praising big ego bullshit.

I forgive myself for not realising the limmitations of placing expectaions based on assumption and again forgetting about the ass of you and me I create with and as participating in and as assumptions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mental masturbating in my mind with thoughts/fantasies/desires of ideas I have built up as a result of years of masturbation to porno.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppresing the manifested consequences of jerking off to porno.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing and degrading women by allowing fucked up desires within myself where they are like fans or fanatics for my cock.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mindfucking myself about how to fuck with my dick and what and who to fuck with my dick. I forgive myself for obsessing about using my dick.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for waiting to address my dick issues as desires to use my dick to fuck women and I forgive myself for not realising what a dickhead ive been as a result of mastubating to porn and feed dickheadedness by giving attention and acting upon mental masturbation scenarios.

I forgive myself for having suppressed my dickheadedness.

I forgive myself for not realising that hiding from facing dickheadedness just makes dickheadedness big and a more brutal dick to handle as the consequences of fucking with myself as big dickheaded issues as a result of the compunding accumulation factor of feeding dickheadedness.

feeding dickheadedness lol. funny ridiculousness

i realise  previous relationships I have been in have failed because of my desire to have sex with other women.

I realise desire to have sex with other women and desire to pleasure other women has been a point that has accumulated and compounded within myself as a result of not directing this point affectively in the past.
 
I realise desiring to have sex and pleasure multiple women may have been a consequence of masturbating to porn when I was younger.

I realise how I fed into the point of desire as like a point of worship and fantasy through actively working my dick with my hand.

I realise how exhausting it would be trying to dick please multiple women.

I realise that sexaul relationship fulfillment and self intimacy is a pillar of support that grows in stature and excellence over time and it is in time as the commitment to one another as bulding excellence and together as a pillar of excellence that greatness and absolute sexual fulfillment is established.

 I realise my girlfriend is supporting me by not praising big ego bullshit.

I realise the limmitations of placing expectaions based on assumption and again forgetting about the ass of you and me I create with and as participating in and as assumptions.

I realise hiding from facing dickheadedness just makes dickheadedness big and a more brutal dick to handle as the consequences of fucking with myself as big dickheaded issues as a result of the compunding accumulation factor of feeding dickheadedness.

I commit myself to self correcting dickheadedness as self forgiveness on all points of mental masturbation that come up withing my mind from moment to moment. I am aware that this is a process that will take time as I realise it took time to create dickheadedness in the first place as feeding mental masturbation with physical masturbation..

I commit myself to walk with my partner as a pillar of support and live the self realisations that self-fulfillment is a self-fulfilling-prophecy as living here as self-satisfaction free from mental masturbation.

I commit myself to sharing my self-realisations about dickheadedness so that I can assist and support the eradication of dickheadedness as ego and mental masturbation.

I commit myself to exposing the fuckedness of porno.

I commit myself to exposing the fuckedness of mental masturbation.

I commit myself to exposing the seceret mind as ego as the root of all fuckedness.

I am commitment here as Life Excellence.