Day 718 - Removing the Ego from Greatness, the Grounding Process

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the point of big ego as a result of having good results within particular points of sharing/performance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thirsting for the recognition as the praise within a job well done as like mastery in execution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mentally masturbate accepted and allowed suppression into a transmuted experience of Superiority that feels so good from the perspective of getting myself high within and as my very own self-induced trite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the psychic vampirism within and as the accepted and allowed big ego reaction as getting high as a result of the actions/responses others share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking the ultimate life and living is within and as the established status position within the world system as recognized fame and fortunate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying the inferiority which fuels the attitude of ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the self-righteousness within ego as like believing that I am entitled to a positive high energetic buzz.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the pain and trauma as the self-inflicted self-abuse that exists within and as the reactionary play out of ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bouncing around in reactionary polarity play as character personifications as either big or small ego...based upon the judgement of sizing myself up in relationship to others here as my ego competition for ultimate supremacy here as like the KingOfTheCastle, the One Winner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to examine the reactionary positive energy high or big/super ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the solidarity here as the relationship with all my peers here as the various reflections of myself as One and Equal as Everything here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a dissonance within myself as an ego personality that is incomplete that cannot relate to all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying the abuse of greed as ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self-righteous in fighting for my very own limitation as the result of being defensive in relationship to other ego's here/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating in sports and activities from the starting point of ego as like the encouragement of dissonance within myself for the potential moment of bliss that may result from existing as the great one winner for a brief moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard all Life here within and as a result of being preoccupied with my own ego status in relationship to others ego status.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thrive of the misfortune of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being blinded within positive energy participation as a like a form of mental masturbation into a daze,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stumble and fumble around within a haze of positive energy feelings of disregard for the actually status and state of World affairs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing accounting responsibility for myself as an able bodied being that is here that can support the stopping of bullshit here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the propagated ego hero character that exists within our world that is like the status acceptance and allowance agreement that abusing life for an experience is is what this world is all about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for just wanting to be a part of the big ego story here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring and regarding to be well accepted and regarded by others as a result of doubting myself and believing that I can only trust myself if I have the trust of many others believing in me.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how fake this believed trust to be, when one rationalizes one's very own state of mind from a starting point of dissonance in relationship to Everything here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowiing myself to encourage the continuation of cognitive dissonance in our shared world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my potential expressions here within the justification that it feels good to win at the expense of another feeling bad in loosing and that is just the way things are...so the decision is either abuse or be abused. I realize the absurd ridiculousness of the mentality of apathy, lack of self-trust, lack of self-confidence, and the lack of empathy and remorse.

When and as I see myself going into a energetic high experience in and as reaction to receiving positive feedback, I stop and breathe, I see the specifics of the point that exists as a dissonance within myself...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing such a dissonance to exist inside myself as the acceptance of myself as less than life here. I realign myself as self-regard as I care to make sure I effectively remove the contamination in my vocabulary and within this I reestablish the terms of agreement here as what is best for all life from the starting point of myself existence here as Oneness and Equality.  I realize and understand I am in the midst of the birthing process of myself actualization here as All as One as Equal. I commit myself to the humbling gratitude in seeing/realizing and physically learning to stand and walk and move in always that are best for all of Life here.

I commit myself to stopping apathy.

I commit myself to living self-trust.

I commit myself to living self-confidence.

I commit myself to empathy.

I commit myself to compassion and remorse.

I realize the practical application of not allowing myself to be consumed within any point, because that is not practical in supporting my ability to live responsibility here.

I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of the ego games here.

I commit myself to educate on the character dynamics of ego.

I commit myself to stop perpetuating our culture of psychic vampirism.

I commit myself to removing the ego from Greatness and grounding myself within the earth here as commitment to Life.

Day 533 Ranting and Raving Friendship Judgement

There's hesitance in me to write this evening. A point that surfaced early in my day today was the point of attraction...where I saw and realized there is judgement within and as the point of attraction within myself. Like, I was looking at this with regards to friendship and the particular type of people I am interested in engaging and how there is so many people that I don't even register any particular interest to really engage. It's like an immediate judgement...where I size someone up and I see if this is someone who seems to align with all my particular self-interests. Like basically someone who is exactly like me...where It could be said, ya were on the same page...like I like this page and you also like this page....we got the same attitude about things. 

It's interesting how extensive this point is. I see how I am influenced by the presentation of people...like without really even knowing much about someone...just seeing them within a classroom setting...it's like I have tailored my picks of people to talk to based upon the way in which they are presented.

I see how my interaction with people has been conditioned within the veils of self-righteousness. Where I will or will not communicate with people so often because of my self-righteous judgement and the desire to align within and as my self-righteous judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being extremely self-righteous and judgmental about developing friendships/relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to develop relationships that are in my immediate environment out of spitefully holding out for a believed better person/people to develop relationships/friendships with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being close minded within developing relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to connect with people who are exactly like me within and as starting point attitude of shared self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the expansion and development of relationships within my reality as a result of not realizing and understanding how spiteful and self-righteous I have accepted and allowed myself to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of my own nastiness as spite and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have been influencing people with my accepted and allowed spite and self-righteous attitude of judgement as accepted and allowed hierarchy of inequality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being disappointed and shamed within facing unpleasant truths about the nature of my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bullying myself and others within spite and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself within the belief perception of and as an authority within and as self-righteousness where I believe and perceive myself to know and trust in my own self-judgement and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being discriminatory within my communication as like being energetically inclined to want to communicate with people who have the same self-interests as me and less inclined to communicate with people who do not obviously appear to share the same self-interests as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging people based upon how cool I think they are...like even if they do share some of the same self-interests as me...like based upon how cool I think their external appearance is...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my communication with people as a result of judging people's external appearance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a hierarchy of cool...as like believing myself to be the authority of cool as separate from others...and judging others as to where they fit in within and as the scale of cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not being interested in letting go of self-interested judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto self-interested judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling guilty within seeing and realizing how extensively I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and discriminate against other beings within my reality.

TO BE CONTINUED