Day 660 - What have I already Created Unknowingly?

I suggest also reading the blog I am attaching here: "How I've changed since re-defining the word Daring"

What I have found interesting within taking Responsibility for myself here is specifically facing my acceptances and allowances.

To really look at acceptances and allowances and learn from acceptances and allowances that are obvious mistakes....is the first step in moving into the next step of self-correcting such acceptances and allowances.

Now, this can very easily be regarded as a "Dare"...because of the way in which we have actually "created" our 'acceptances and allowances' in the first place.  This is actually quite interesting because to face Your acceptances and allowances and actually change/correct/remove acceptances and allowances that you realize are not in fact cool is a process...that is somewhat difficult from the perspective....that you have "created this sort of 'energy wall' that keeps you contained from expanding outward...a form of 'in the box mind control' that was self-induced through one's reactionary energetic outflows.

See, within actually daring to face our acceptances and allowances as the points of resistance that contains us from participating in ways that we actually see as being cool.....we see/learn/understand how not to create effectively...like what a self-induced prison it is to build up an energetic containment structured in the spectrum of emotion and feeling which can also be regarded as various types/forms of "Fear".

Fear being the debt and bond we created as our being bond/bound in servitude to...as like this totally ridiculously bogus contractual agreement we created for ourself as a result of and as how we have participated in creating/defining our acceptances and allowances here.

Interesting thing here....is that passively accepting and allowing the physical structure of ourselves here as negating to correct/respond to our automated reactionary behavior.,..is that we have created a compounding debt upon ourselves here....making the ability to actually express ourselves...."seemingly" increasingly more difficult...due to the continuous buying into what has been accepted and allowed within oneself.

See, it's difficult to let go and free oneself from one's own confinement because we have become so uses to existed within and as our own prison confinement as our mind/body relationship...that getting out of our own debt/prison is scary/fearful.....because this is all that we in fact know....and so going into the unknown is intimidating....because we created our known reality through and how we reacted...which is actually the total opposite of what is means to have really actually created for real.

See, having "reacted" is to having made a mistake...and missed an opportunity to have actually "created"...

"When we React, We miss the point of How it is in Fact We can Create"

"To create for Life is to know and understand the difference from what it means to React"

"We cannot Create when we are in a state of Reaction"

"See the difference between CREATION and REACTION"

"See Our Ability to in fact Live CREATION, Stems from Our Ability to first Stop and Direct our REACTION....Because this is in fact the first Act of Creation...The Taking Responsibility for our Mistake....Our Acting Out....Because to React is to Mistaking Act in A way that is less than Responsible....Because to Live as Response-Able is to Be able to Respond in the Best possible ways that exist beyond the conflict/friction/debt/restraint of a Reactionary movement"

So we stop perpetuating our Fear/Debt/Restraint/Mistaken Acceptances and Allowances by Daring to question/examine/Correct/Direct the Nature of Our Life Here



To Be Continued


The Fuck Up of Creation is to have Reaction instead of Creation....which is a misalignment...the reversal of what it actually means to "make it happen for Life"

Day 532 Patience Required in Investigating Opportunities

Recently I've come across some cool opportunities and I was initially a little bit antsy within investigating the opportunities where I had a form of backchat as the thinking, 'what am I doing here'...then I reacted with disarray which brewed with anxiety which created an uneasiness within myself that I had made a mistake based upon the emotion I was experiencing within myself.

Within this above experience as I worked through the energies with self-forgiveness I continued to investigate the point and see how I was creating a "problem" for myself as a result of how I was experiencing myself within a moment.

It's interesting how experiencing anxiety in a moment can cause such confusion and opens up the possibility for misdirection and mistakes to happen.

What I realize and understand is that it is so ridiculous for the starting point of my physical movements to be based in some sort of energies as emotion and feelings. Like, this can be quite detrimental to making the best informed decisions. My initial reactions within the experience of anxiety was to get myself to a better state as a result of physically changing my plans and moving myself into another area/environment. What's funny and interesting about this...is that for a few moments I missed the point of slowing myself down here and facing the energetic experience within myself and releasing the energetic buildup within myself...it's like I believed I had to just get somewhere else away from here...lol...

The point of patience is key because the tendency and belief I had was to rush myself into a different direction of physical engagement as like a form of coping mechanism within the initial emotional energies that came up within myself as disarray and anxiety.

I'd like to take a few moments here and purify the words disarray and anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining disarray and and anxiety as negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to escape the experiences of emotional disarray and anxiety without practically facing the origins as to why the experiences of disarray and anxiety came up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how silly it is for me to look to make drastic changes within my physical reality from within and as a starting point of anxiety and disarray.

When and as I see myself experiencing disarray within myself, I stop and breathe, I look at what I am fearing, I realize and understand the practical support and assistance I can garner from myself within being patient to investigate the energy that comes up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I connected disarray and anxiety to the uncertainty of the future...as like fear of the unknown...as like not knowing for certain how things will turn out. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry within accessing the energies of disarray and anxiety. I realize and understand the patience required to access my self-trust within myself as the patience to move myself in ways that are best for Life.  I realize the mindfuck of accepting and allowing myself to cycle within a reaction...as I realize and understand how reactions build upon themselves and take me out of physical reality as like existing within reactions is a mind job.  I realize I am in the process of stopping all reactions as they come up and investigating the reaction and enabling myself to receive the gift of each and every reaction.

When and as I see myself experiencing anxiety, I stop and breathe, I look and realize their is a gift/opportunity available for me as I am patient to investigate the question of how/when/why did this point of anxiety come up. What was happening immediately before I went into this particular experience? I realize and understand the patience required to investigate opportunities.

I commit myself to the patience required in investigating opportunities.

I commit myself to gifting myself opportunities within being patient and investigation reactions/emotions/feelings/thoughts that come up within myself.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to exist within anxiety and disarray.


My initial definition towards the word 'disarray' was 'the experience of like what the fuck is going on...because I don't know what the fuck is going on'

My initial definition of anxiety: Worry within self-judgement...the experience of nervousness and uneasiness within oneself."

Dictionary definitions:

Disarray:

noun) a state of disorganization or untidiness

synonyms: disorder, confusion, chaos, untidiness, disorganization, dishevelment, mess muddle, clutter, jumble, tangle, shambles....

verb) throw (someone or something) into a state of disorganization or untidiness
verb) strip (someone) of clothing

Anxiety:

noun) A feeling or worry, nervousness or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

synonyms: worry, fear, concern, apprehensiveness, uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, disquiet, disquietude, inquietude, perturbation, angst, agitation, misgiving, nervousness, nerves, tension, tenseness...


Playing with the words Disarray and Anxiety:

Disarray: This array...dissing the ray, diss-a-ray...the rays are being dissed....dicer-eh..., d-i-s-a-r-r-a-y,

The opposite of an array. Disarray is the disharmony to being in and as an array...the opposite of an ordered arrangement, in particular...is not an impressive display or range of a particular type of thing.

Anxiety: sound like an angst society...anxiety reflects society in angst....angst + society = anxiety...angry society...an-x- I - e- t-y...an 'x' like a mark/point i create with an example as the ie: in how I am tied to and as the example/explanation of and as the mark of an I as ego (e) energy which I am tied and bound to. An-X-I-It-Why....like not realizing and understanding Why there is a point of uncertainty.....knowing there is a point of uncertainty and being concerned/worried/fearful/uneasy about the point of uncertainty....

Looking at the word anxiety, the point/questions come up:

Is everyone constantly fluctuating within a state of anxiety when the future is uncertain?

Is self-direction with self-trust the remedy to alleviating all anxiety?

Is anxiety a lack of self-trust?

Is anxiety a lack of self-responsibility/self-accountability?

Is anxiety a point of self-victimization?

Is anxiety a point of being angry with yourself for accepting and allowing self-suppression within and as self-victimization?

Day 507 Branding and Marketing

The point came up about branding and marketing myself.  There's been some discomfort within myself with regards to the point of branding and marketing myself.

Looking within myself with regards to the words branding and marketing I see how I have accepted and allowed some negative energy connotations with regards to these words as how they work in the the world system Within this I didn't regard or understand how I was taking a stance within these words and how my stance/position within these words has created a friction within myself about specifically branding and marketing myself.

For instance, When I was quite young I regarded name brands as quite cool, as like there being a certain prestige the goes along with supporting a name brand. Then as I got older it was more about refining my brands, like only supporting the best quality brands in quality and craftsmanship...and having the high end products within the brand line.  Also though I kind of developed a rebellious attitude towards 'name brands' as like being a point of evil and being a conformist, and as a result of perpetuating the injustices that exist because you know, big name brands are all about profit...and within this I started thinking more and more about the injustices within labor exploitation, and also about logo's, thinking that it is not cool to be labelled with logo's...like I basically went the opposite way that I had before...where I was kind of taking the attitude I don't give a shit about labels and brand names...like being like I'll where whatever.

The same thing kind of with marketing...in that the way I would wear my clothes was very deliberate, like wanting to look a particular way and project a particular image. That image primarily through high-school was the preppy jock.  Then I shifted away from the preppy look and into the lounging look...like it became more about cool and comfortable...with a bit of rebellion in there as like wearing sweat pants and slippers or jeans and slippers...and skate shoes...wearing the skate shoes just because they were big and comfy...not really that great for running around or anything...but good for lounging in...and lots of hooded sweatshirts.

There's always been some resistance within me to prescribing to a particular dress code.  Though it's funny because I never had a school uniform but I remember thinking it would be alright to have a school uniform...and I just knew the way I rocked/wore my uniform would be cool/enjoyable.

I like the different styles of clothes that exist. I enjoy picking at my clothes. I've enjoyed doing this since I was young.  At some point I kind of reacted to the point of liking to style myself in particular ways...and kind of revolted as like like dissing my own styles by being like whatever, who gives a shit about style, and created a who gives a shit style...or maybe more appropriately labeled I don't give a shit.  I was reacting to the ideas I had incorporated within myself as a result of my environment about dress etiquette...like you know dressing professionally...and I just reacted so much so to this...as like thinking how lame it is that there's kind of a uniform standard dress code of how you are supposed to be dressed for particular functions/events...and within that...the various labels that co-exist with wearing these types of clothes or those types of clothes.  I mean I kind of got wrapped up in my own judgement but not realizing and seeing it.

It's interesting that I reacted so much to dress codes that in created this stigma about dress codes and within that it's like I created this stigmatization within myself.  Like just kind of taking on points of conflict...not considering how I was developing/expanding/creating internal conflict within myself...only perceiving the conflict to exist externally as like a point of separation from myself.

With the word Stigmatization coming up I reflect back to elementary school and I recall not getting invited to this girl's birthday party that was a boy/girl party in like grade 5 or 6 where pretty much every body in the grade at the school was invited but I wasn't invited because I had been exploring body parts with this particular girl a little while earlier...and the girl's mother found out and told my parents....and this was like made to be this big deal and secret bad thing that wasn't to be talked about...and like I was regarded as a bad apple/influence by the girl's mother...and thus I was outcasted from going to this boy girl party where there would be things happening like spin the bottle and getting locked in the closet.   Anyways, I was kinda sad/disappointed about not being aloud to go to party...but I at that age accepted that I was the bad apple...and believed to understand why I couldn't go because the girls mom feared me as being a bad influence.

I see how I spawned the attitude from there that I am too cool, like too cool to be allowed to socialize with all my peers all the time because I'm such a strong influence...and a strong influence is an influence to be feared.

The point came up today where I was saying that the world isn't very cool. Like there needs to be more coolness. I was saying how politicians and celebrities aren't cool at all, the education system isn't cool, war isn't cool, poverty/abuse/suffering isn't cool, pop culture isn't cool, societal norms aren't cool, commercials aren't cool....I went on to say I got to take self-responsibility for cool....because seriously things are not cool...like there's so much stuff that isn't cool. I was talking to family members about this point...and I kind of jokingly said I'm going to appoint myself the ambassador of cool...and then I started getting reactions from people saying that I got to be appointed by other people in order to be the ambassador...that I can't just declare myself it....that there is not validity to my claim if others are not validating my claim. I said, I  take self-responsibility as the presentation and embodiment of cool. I see it as a point of individual self-responsibility and self-trust. A self-agreement as commitment to the expression of what is best for all Life.

The point of discussion veered towards seriousness as like seriousness being separated from cool...like the opposite of seriously cool...like seriousness became a point of uncool....where if you want to be taken seriously, you can't be cool....

The point came up that cool is subjective...

I said cool is beyond subjectivity....cool is a point of objectivity.

The point came up in discussion that if you want to be well regarded and protect yourself from being slandered, You must limit your exposure/sharing/expression...because even though it may be cool....others may not regard it as a cool and try to use it against you.....a reference was made to the tv series game of thrones...and how Ned Stark was a pretty cool dude from the perspective of being a man of nobility and being morally right with honor in his actions....and how he's was killed as a result of his stance/position....like the pawns on the chess board were moved around and it resulted in him being taken out.

The point being, you have to play the game...know how to play the game....know thy enemy know thy self...kind of thing...like you got to operate within the system to change the system.

I am reminded of the point: By understanding the impossible it becomes possible.

Like knowing what is not cool opens up the opportunity for what is cool to be born and expressed.



So, I opened up a lot of points for more further specific self-investigative exploration....so stay tuned