Day 532 Patience Required in Investigating Opportunities

Recently I've come across some cool opportunities and I was initially a little bit antsy within investigating the opportunities where I had a form of backchat as the thinking, 'what am I doing here'...then I reacted with disarray which brewed with anxiety which created an uneasiness within myself that I had made a mistake based upon the emotion I was experiencing within myself.

Within this above experience as I worked through the energies with self-forgiveness I continued to investigate the point and see how I was creating a "problem" for myself as a result of how I was experiencing myself within a moment.

It's interesting how experiencing anxiety in a moment can cause such confusion and opens up the possibility for misdirection and mistakes to happen.

What I realize and understand is that it is so ridiculous for the starting point of my physical movements to be based in some sort of energies as emotion and feelings. Like, this can be quite detrimental to making the best informed decisions. My initial reactions within the experience of anxiety was to get myself to a better state as a result of physically changing my plans and moving myself into another area/environment. What's funny and interesting about this...is that for a few moments I missed the point of slowing myself down here and facing the energetic experience within myself and releasing the energetic buildup within myself...it's like I believed I had to just get somewhere else away from here...lol...

The point of patience is key because the tendency and belief I had was to rush myself into a different direction of physical engagement as like a form of coping mechanism within the initial emotional energies that came up within myself as disarray and anxiety.

I'd like to take a few moments here and purify the words disarray and anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining disarray and and anxiety as negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to escape the experiences of emotional disarray and anxiety without practically facing the origins as to why the experiences of disarray and anxiety came up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how silly it is for me to look to make drastic changes within my physical reality from within and as a starting point of anxiety and disarray.

When and as I see myself experiencing disarray within myself, I stop and breathe, I look at what I am fearing, I realize and understand the practical support and assistance I can garner from myself within being patient to investigate the energy that comes up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I connected disarray and anxiety to the uncertainty of the future...as like fear of the unknown...as like not knowing for certain how things will turn out. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry within accessing the energies of disarray and anxiety. I realize and understand the patience required to access my self-trust within myself as the patience to move myself in ways that are best for Life.  I realize the mindfuck of accepting and allowing myself to cycle within a reaction...as I realize and understand how reactions build upon themselves and take me out of physical reality as like existing within reactions is a mind job.  I realize I am in the process of stopping all reactions as they come up and investigating the reaction and enabling myself to receive the gift of each and every reaction.

When and as I see myself experiencing anxiety, I stop and breathe, I look and realize their is a gift/opportunity available for me as I am patient to investigate the question of how/when/why did this point of anxiety come up. What was happening immediately before I went into this particular experience? I realize and understand the patience required to investigate opportunities.

I commit myself to the patience required in investigating opportunities.

I commit myself to gifting myself opportunities within being patient and investigation reactions/emotions/feelings/thoughts that come up within myself.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to exist within anxiety and disarray.


My initial definition towards the word 'disarray' was 'the experience of like what the fuck is going on...because I don't know what the fuck is going on'

My initial definition of anxiety: Worry within self-judgement...the experience of nervousness and uneasiness within oneself."

Dictionary definitions:

Disarray:

noun) a state of disorganization or untidiness

synonyms: disorder, confusion, chaos, untidiness, disorganization, dishevelment, mess muddle, clutter, jumble, tangle, shambles....

verb) throw (someone or something) into a state of disorganization or untidiness
verb) strip (someone) of clothing

Anxiety:

noun) A feeling or worry, nervousness or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

synonyms: worry, fear, concern, apprehensiveness, uneasiness, unease, fearfulness, disquiet, disquietude, inquietude, perturbation, angst, agitation, misgiving, nervousness, nerves, tension, tenseness...


Playing with the words Disarray and Anxiety:

Disarray: This array...dissing the ray, diss-a-ray...the rays are being dissed....dicer-eh..., d-i-s-a-r-r-a-y,

The opposite of an array. Disarray is the disharmony to being in and as an array...the opposite of an ordered arrangement, in particular...is not an impressive display or range of a particular type of thing.

Anxiety: sound like an angst society...anxiety reflects society in angst....angst + society = anxiety...angry society...an-x- I - e- t-y...an 'x' like a mark/point i create with an example as the ie: in how I am tied to and as the example/explanation of and as the mark of an I as ego (e) energy which I am tied and bound to. An-X-I-It-Why....like not realizing and understanding Why there is a point of uncertainty.....knowing there is a point of uncertainty and being concerned/worried/fearful/uneasy about the point of uncertainty....

Looking at the word anxiety, the point/questions come up:

Is everyone constantly fluctuating within a state of anxiety when the future is uncertain?

Is self-direction with self-trust the remedy to alleviating all anxiety?

Is anxiety a lack of self-trust?

Is anxiety a lack of self-responsibility/self-accountability?

Is anxiety a point of self-victimization?

Is anxiety a point of being angry with yourself for accepting and allowing self-suppression within and as self-victimization?

Day 500 Self-Righteous Authority

It's been so easy for me to talk a little bit of shit about another person. Like you know, just a little bit, whether it be to them directly or indirectly through a form of self talk or gossip with another.

This type of behaviour in any capacity in simply unacceptable.

I see how I have in many instances felt the need to say something from within the believed justification/reasoning as that I am "just being honest".  Just being honest ? What the fuck ?
Just being honest from the perspective of exposing myself within and as the self-righteous Authority character persona.

I've noticed how subtle I would be in talking shit in some particular moments.  Like there being so much disdain within myself, it's like I felt compelled to just sprinkle a little bit of diaper mouth here, a little bit of diaper mouth there, having no regard for the fact that I don't even like hearing and seeing diaper mouth behaviour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing myself to be "just being honest" within talking shit about another being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of self-righteous authority persona.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for letting self-righteous authority slide within my thoughts, as like just seeing and dismissing the separation forged and formed towards others within accepting and allowing myself to avoid/abdicate self responsibility in removing the accepted and allowed separation that exists within my mind consciousness system as a form of cognitive dissonance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for desiring to tell people things from the point of separation as like having an energetic movement within myself and wanting to jump into and as the character that is represented by the particular energy charge that the reaction represents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the degrees of self-righteous authority within acting out any particular reaction....as like acting out any particular reaction is a point of self-righteous authority...as like being possessed within and as my accepted and allowed mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing myself to become dependent upon acting out various characters from within the realm starting point of self-righteous authority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing self-righteous authority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I have always been that which I fear most and that is the really irony within and as the process of self-forgiveness, self-realization and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to tell people how fucked they are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that in telling someone how fucked they are, they will respond to me with immediate feedback of a transcendental self-realisation and an in the moment practical real time living change of character from that which is totally fucked to that which is the epitome of greatness as that which is best for all Life as an actual living character standing as an exampled expression of and what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wishing others to be that which I would like to see within myself....and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for focusing upon others before myself.  I realize and understand that I can ever only see others as I see myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself dismissing the point of self-first within process of self-forgiveness and self- realisation and self correction....because of wanting to play some sorta savior Christ like character persona of feeling high and mighty within myself and reigning down upon another with and as my accepted and allowed self-righteous authority because I got a particular itch unexpectedly in a moment as a reaction that just came up within me that I am interpreting and perceiving to be a a form of attack the I will call blame as like me deflecting the apparent responsibility onto another.,,and there for believing that I must give them the ownership of fault and failure as like designating them as a fuck up.  I realise and understand that this type of behaviour is totally ridiculously absurd as it totally fucked up and that acting this out whether verbally aloud to another....or just within the mind as like a thought wheel....train of though kind of thing....is unacceptable.

When and as I see myself having a thought about how I see another person as this or that, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to forgive myself for that which I see about the particular person as a way to show myself that I can release the reigns of self-righteous authority.

I commit myself to stopping self-righteous authority.

I commit myself to realising and understanding that even the littlest subtle little bit of self-righteous authority is unacceptable.

When and as I see myself feeling the need to say something as like an energetic movement within myself as like an instability as having formed a momentary reaction to something in my environment, I stop and breathe, I direct myself in forgiving myself for the momentary reaction that created an energetic movement of instability within myself. I piece myself back together by utilizing this momentary energetic reaction within myself as a key to see a point of accepted and allowed separation within myself...so I use this point to release my accepted and allowed delusion, I look within myself to see the earliest memory connection to this point, and I forgive myself for creating the particular energetic charged relationship within myself, I commit myself to stopping and this pattern within myself. I see and realise the ridiculous absurdity of the point.  I realise and understand the practicality of self-correcting myself in the moment a point comes up.

 When and as I see myself desiring to act out a particular character as a result of experiencing a momentary reaction within myself, I stop and breathe, I face the point of reaction, I identify the energy, I see the connection to earliest memories, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to go into energy possession play out, I correct/remedy the situation in real time.

I commit myself to stop being a diaper mouth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being a diaper mouth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my own shit.


I commit myself to providing practical living support and assistance to facilitate the stopping and prevention of self righteous authority character persona participation's.

 I commit myself to reflecting point of understanding back to myself as way to showcase myself as the point example and so that when I am communicating with another I am not making an example out of them by pointing the finger at them and saying your so this...I see and realize that within taking this approach I give individuals the opportunity to realize their own fuckedness and avoid the misfortune of cycling through an offense/defense reaction of me telling them what they are as opposed to enabling another to realize and understand what they are in fact accepting and allowing through placing myself as the living story/example/self-realisation.....I see and realize within this approach that it's like I am walking with a person through the point...like walking them to the door of understanding and realization and enabling them the opportunity to move through the door on their own as a point of self-responsibility and self direction as an individual labored process of self-accountability, self-integrity and self-dignity in facing self-reflection.

Day 447 Principles over Preferences

prin·ci·ple  

Noun A fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning. A rule or belief governing one's personal behavior.

Synonyms tenet - rule - basis - law (source: google definition "principle") pref·er·ence   Noun A greater liking for one alternative over another or others. A thing preferred. Synonyms priority - precedence - choice - predilection So, I've come to understand the process of self honesty and self realization as a matter of principles over preferences.  This is the challenge so to speak, because this is where resistance comes into play, as everything that has been programmed within my mind as preferences contradicts the living of principles as that which is best for all Life as the ultimate truth/self-realization and is therefore a journey to Life through the process of self-forgiveness and self corrective application...as like the giving away of preferences over principles...for the reverse alternative...as principles over preferences. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a tendency to be reluctant to incorporating my understanding of principles over preferences from the perspective of manipulating my attention towards new preferences in place of previous preferences that I let go of from the starting point of principles over preferences...as like...letting something go...only to cling to something else as like a preoccupation/fascination/obsession as like a way to not fully let go and release myself from mind programming.  I realise and understand that this is the process Journey to Life...as like one point at a time so to speak...as like, as I face one point and I solve the problem/issue/conflict, I am presented with a new problem/opportunity/step within and as my process journey/self realization.  When and as I see myself clinging to a new point of preference to hold onto, I stop and breathe and I realise and understand that this is my physical confirmation of the next point that I am required to take on within and as the process of self/realization as the incorporation of living my words as principles over preferences.  I see and realize that this process is extensive and that there is no time to dwell within loss so to speak...as like I am not really giving up anything...as what I am actually doing within myself is equalizing myself as Life here...and removing any and all bondage to a hierarchy value system where all Life is not valued equally.  I realize and understand the there are so many problems existent within the world because of the attitude of preferences over principles as opposed to principles over preferences....because in choosing preferences over principles, you get to focus attention on self interested indulgences that are not aligned in the interests of the betterment of all Life here...as like operating from the starting point of existing as a being here for the greatest good. The opposite is in fact true...as it's like choosing to accept the 'status quo'... as like an act of accepted and allowed dis-empowerment, as a choosing to just try and make the best of a bad situation....without realizing and understanding yourself as an integral part in stopping all bad situations and creating best case scenarios/situations as a being of real principled living that cannot be compromised and controlled by preferences...and therefore becoming the insurance that change that is best for all Life is inevitable.unstoppable because principles as what is best for all Life over ride self-interested preferences.

Day 441 Commitment No Doubt is Key!!!

Let me begin with providing a few links to some gifts that will further clarify and expand upon the title of this blog:

The Key to Life - 2013 - The Future of Consciousness - Part 24

Time and Money - Life Review

Commitment - Relationship Success Support



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared putting both feet forward within making commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow hesitation within commitments as like a possible escape and backing out of commitments...as like making a commitment but not really totally fully trusting myself within the commitment...and therefore creating a hesitance within the commitment as a reflection of accepted and allowed doubt and lack of self-trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rationalize doubt within my mind as like a form of logical manipulation that is a necessary precaution that is perpetuated by worrying as like self induced fear energies on the body that is a totally self created mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I perpetuated doubt within myself as a manifested outflow time loop of obsessing about wants, needs and desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mentally masturbate myself with wants, needs and desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for questioning commitments as like a form of accepting and allowing an escape route from self responsibilities within myself as like an ego defense mechanism of hiding as like a way to keep myself in a state of self suppression as like a refusal to grant myself full access to living life from and as the principle starting point of creation as Equality and Oneness as what's best for all Life is best for me because I am a part of all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck within myself and avoid taking ownership of my life here as accountability and responsibility as that which is best for all Life....as like realising and understanding myself as a living Life representative of that which is always best for Life...as like realising everything here as a part of me/Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being unnecessarily rough and difficult on myself by and as a result of doubting my capabilities and commitments within and as a result of neglecting practical living application of my response abilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding back self-expansion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how that any and all points of doubt within my relationships are in fact detrimental to that which is best for all Life...and therefore act as like a self induced handicap on Life...as like a form of mental retardation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understand my full capacity to change as what's best for all Life within committing myself without any doubt and slack within and as my commitments to myself as Life as what is best for Life/myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for waiting to let go of limitations I am aware of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating self imposed limitations. I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of validating self imposed limitations...as like various forms of doubt/fear/separation.  When and as I see myself doubting my abilities without testing my abilities, I stop and breathe...and I direct myself to make sure I test my abilities and to also expand my abilities in always possible as I realise and understand what is implies within the living of the word responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to slack off on responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect and put off responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the consequences of suppressing response abilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding life as like a relationship agreement of responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the connection between self-expansion and responsibility

When and as I see myself neglecting responsibility, I stop and breathe and I direct myself to action as accountability as like to remedy the situation at hand as a means of self nourishment as like practical living life support sustenance as the gift giving contribution to and as Life...as like the epitome of existing within and as the principle of living to give...as like giving without expecting to receive...as the giving I like to receive.

When and as I see myself validating doubt within myself, I stop and breathe and I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such actions. I have an aha moment as I realise and see the how I saved myself from being wasted and disregarded.


I commit myself to no doubt within and and myself self-creation here as Life being birthed from the physical.

I commit myself to the the living word "responsibility"

I commit myself to the word "commitment"

I commit myself to and as "accountability" as the basic mathematics of 1+1=2

I commit myself to continue birthing myself as Life until the changes within me are absolute as like me standing here as the epitome of and as the physical living Life birthed from and as the fruits of my labored process of self-forgiveness and self corrective statements walked in real time application as the testaments to and as my living words as that which is always best for Life.