I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I've become a masterful defensman in that I can defend any position I am In for Better or for Worse as I've battled tested myself countless times and I always come back from Battle with More Strength, Ability and Agility in the ways in which I am able to Know Myself Here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself without fear of consequence into every position i could and couldn't conceive possible.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I've literarly got the attitude of fuck fear in that I will fight through any and all self-imposed limitations - even if that means momentairly making a real ass hat out of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to for moments in time get caught up in the corss fires of my physical addiction to inner friction where it's like I can super charge a flying high inpentrable defense as like the ultimate defense and basically take myself to the breaking point - where i eventually must quite literarly piece myself back together again.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the approach of 'the ultimate fighter' to heart where it's in mean to beat the bullshit out of myself no matter what - and if it gets messy than that is just par for the course.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the gravity of the intensitify of myself as i've literaly walked a process of crushing every point of bother within myself into oblivion.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of my stamina and endurance as the very propensity and patience to keep going into a point whern all seems lost, unknown and unfamiliar - I realize that in many ways this has been my saving grace - the flip side of the coin so to speak - that my weakness has in fact being my greatest strength - the willingness to fight for my standing, walking, living awareness of what it means to stand up for myself no matter what - no matter what i face i will surivive and thrive - and that like a fine wine i only become stronger as like I am Here as strength and conditioning as what it means to give myself everything I got.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not totally understanding the extent to which I've been throwing my weight around and just how extensively intsensively i've been pressing upon myself in order to crush my suppression and birth myself a new - that do to the extensive nature of physical addiction within and as the very susbtance of myself here - i've literarly been breaking myself down from the inside out as a way to flesh out and change - spiting my spite in fact and killing my ego as any ideas and perceptions i have about myself as any concern for protecting myself in survival mode here - taking a thrashing somewhat perhaps reckless approach of literally diving head first into what ever is at hand - coming from a place of knowing deep down that I am willing to face whatever it is no matter what.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using all of existence in a way as like sort of with me but also against me from the perspective that each is in the process of preventing crash landing here on earth as playground planet awesome - within this outlook and regard as one of the many space ships here - I realize it's not a race to the bottom so to speak - and that it is in fact in my best and so to all of life itself here - the best interest of all - to humor myself here - as to like chirp the shit literally out of myself and sharing the gold that i've created from and as the planting and rebirthing of myself a new - here.
I realize understand that in many ways my propensity towards competing and competition and making sport in so many ways my religion as like a life religion as sport itself here - i've created a playing field of Best Regards - and within this - I am walking a process of standing in Physical Awareness Here as what it means to Be a Team Player as the Captain of My Own Ship and a Mate to All Other Ships Here. I Realize the Grounding Physical Birthing Process isn't so much a competition of sorts as like some make it and some don't with the race of the human race limitted type initial thinking of winners and losers - no that is the grave error of the epitome of an amazing disgrace - in fact the matter of reality here is a sort of tag team assist and support as like making the golden parachute real in fact as all together here we slow down as we approach the ground - literally forming the 'eye' of the needle together as what it means to hold hands and walk this world together - all here - in and as part of the life circle and cycle itsel here - facing each other as all the faces of existence here as the formless form - like the eggman/woman....beyond sex.....simply eggs here.
I realize the extensive nature in which I've been willing to challenge the living application of myself to the point where i've literally taken myself to the edge of standing to the point of tragic fall - only to everytime realize my footing and standing and the specificty in growing pains as the very labor pains in doing the work necessary to flesh out my best standing here.
I realize I've been a real beast of sorts in my living both for better and for worse - depending on the moment of sorts as i've been a fighter through and through as the very process of walking understanding as my inferior position to all life here as equal and one - into and and as the standing awareness of what it in fact means to stand here as life physical susbtance in fact - substantially living and creating myself here - fine tuning my effectiveness in communications as my very way of expressing effectiveness in application.
I commit myself to the Best Regards of Myself and So to Everyone Here as an Extension and External Version of MySelf Here.
I commit myself to Humoring Myself as I realize and in fact know without a shadow of a doubt that I got to the core of me the real gift of humor and humility in what it means to take response ability for myself and my environment and walk the corrections necessary in order to substantiate our best rewards as the very icing on the cake as the celeberated just desert as the recognition and regards for our very best regards here as the epitome of the awe in awesome.
I commit myself to sharing my standing as the beast of burden here - the ultimate fighter - and so to the ultimate problem solver as the dude willing to crack the code - the very encryption to my programmed software and hardware here - realizing and standing in awareness as the words of life itself here man as what it means to flesh out and change the very nature and fabric of life itself here.
I realize, understand and know that this is the eye of the needle for real in fact as the stopping and preventing of the crash landing...the crash and burn calamity of to tail spin out of control beyond measure where all is lost as like the giving up on oneself - I realize, understand and know that failure is not an option because I will quite literarlly left in the face of pain when and as I am faced with the point of being poked and pricked to my very core - as I've created a way to play in releasing myself from the suffering i've done onto myself as the very pains and trauma's i've self-manifested as my very missed standing.
I commit myself to finetuning the living effectiveness of my best sharing communications.
I commit myself to sharing my best regards as what it means to humor myself and so to my mates - with the dignity and grace as the very living of my utmost potential here.
I commit myself to honoring myself as the work made visible here as what it means to in fact live for real without hesitattion - the courage and honor of my very best self-regards - a real pleasure to share Here.
I commit myself to sharing the humor in humoring myself as You is Me in Another Life Here as we are all in this together as Individual Parts of The Same Substance/Fabric of Existence/Life Here Man.
To Be Continued
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