Day 790 - Addiction

What Do You Know About Addiction?

Addiction:

Addition of Diction. Diction is the choice and use of words. Notice with any Addiction there is a specific Affinity about a particular Action. Within the Action which is a form of participation, there is a specific choice and use of words...about the particulars within and which make up the activity.

What makes Addiction difficult to Stop?

Not realizing the specific definitions giving to the experience that results from feeding the addiction.

See: The definitions of the experience is within our words and our emotions and feelings.

The way the relationship is fuelled is from a starting point of Internal Conflict. The Addiction, meaning the action and participation within a certain type of behaviour, is perpetuated by having created a Need to get this Fix. “A need to get this Fix”.

How an Addiction becomes Itself in reality?

Repetition. Repeating the same actions over and over within oneself to generate a very specific Experience. Scientifically, it is a form of Suppression and Depression.

Why is Addiction a form of Suppression and Depression?

Because the Life-force of the body is being hosted by the mind relationship to get an Experience. Specifically, Chemically...it is a form of self-created custom designed Ecstasy Heroin, which is completely individualized as your preferred High.

Why is Stopping Difficult?

Not understanding How. What do I mean by that? How to actually give yourself permission to do what you want. See: when your relationship towards moving and doing things is from the starting point of Addiction....being compelled from an experience within yourself....you just do it without any effort....because you are motivated unconsciously to chase that feeling.

Judgement. Stop the Judgement. Judging yourself within your addiction just perpetuates the build up.....build up, meaning the energy friction conflict within yourself that has become dependent on getting this fix.....this fix being a very specific experienc.

Notice this dimension: “getting a fix”

Deep Deep down within yourself is the acceptance and allowance of yourself as 'Just Not Good Enough', 'Inadequate', 'Inferiority', 'Anger', 'Frustration' and 'Irritation'. (there may also be other specific words deep down....but these are core words that fuel this self-created problem)

Someone who recognizes they have an addiction is usually somewhat aware of these core points mentioned above.

However what is difficult to do...and is often missed and over looked is the flip side of the coin. Meaning all the positive experiences inside yourself. The energetic Highs. Positive energy. See: It is actually this desire to get a High...whether the High experience comes in the Form of an Upper or Downer or Trip-Out experience is irrelevant. It's a specific individualized self-created custom high experience.

How to Take Care of Yourself in Stopping Your Addiction?

It's a matter of getting a divorce. A divorce, meaning, putting a stop to the agreement that's been created about the Addiction.

See it's all in the words.

Start with writing about How much You Love the Addiction. Why you Started Doing it. Your experience right now, may be experienced more Like Hate....that you Hate the Addiction....But if you self-honestly look back to when you started, You Loved It!

So, No judgment.

Write out what you love/loved about it.

Take your time, Go into it. Make Notes.

From Here, You start understanding the relationship you have created....that in it's very nature it's extremely charged. See the real test of character....self-honesty here is the willingness to go into the Positive....what you like about it.....because, it's easy to want to sort of Hide and Deceive and Delude and Justify with words.

Understand that many people look for reasons outside of themselves as to how they can stop. It's interesting, because this can be effective....but it isn't the recommended way to go....because you go further into Inferiority inside yourself through self-projected Superiority....you know, being a Hero, or a Martyr...A real “Good Person”. And the fascinating thing, is that people will recognize you as that point.....so now it's like you've just transmutated the addiction into another channel/avenue to continue feeding the fix experience. Ironically enough....it's like even more secret...and less obvious to even yourself....because the point is now further layered into you.

So,

The way out of the addiction is a matter of Word Regard. Go all the way within opening up the Good and the Bad. In doing this, One can remove the HYPE...the energetic build up....See it's a Balance of the Good and the Bad....The positive energy and the negative energy.

Day 789 - TRUST and SELF-TRUST

TRUST and Self-Trust

In Asking myself how do I define Trust, What comes up within me is Honesty, meaning my truth and responsibility. I take the meaning of Trust a step further into myself as Self-Trust...myself as It....and so Here is where my Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility are.

In opening up my investigation into Trust, I questioned whether or not there was any other Key words to support myself within and as Trust. What came up is: Confidence, Ability, Strength and, The Assured Reliance on the Character.

The Assured Reliance on the Character; Confidence, Ability, and Strength.

What Jumps Out at me Here is STRENGTH

In Questioning: Why have I had moments of difficult within and as Trust/Self-Trust?

The Answer: Moments of Weakness. I did not allow myself the truth of myself in moments of weakness. Meaning, I did not completely understand the dimension of Strength within and as my Trust. I resisted allowing myself to really face myself as How I am Living Who I am.

This lack of regard for my Strength became a massive point of suppression within myself. See, without Strength it is difficult to turn weaknesses into strengths.

What has now opened up for me is Understanding and Realizing the Complimentary Nature of: Self-Trust, Self-Honesty, Self-Responsibility, and Strength. Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand what it means to live Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss any regard for Strength within and as Trust and Self-Trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the complimentary structured support within and as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how I've abdicated Strength of Character as Who I Am as Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself here as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how my mind has been showing me my Weakness within and as Strength. I realize my mind has shown me my weakness within and as Strength/Self-Strength as a result of how i've been accepting and allowing relationship judgments of Characters as either Inferior or Superior.

I realize the polarity game of Inferiority and Superiority, reveals self-accepted and allowed Inferiority. This is so, regardless of whether or not You believe yourself to be Superior or Inferior in relationships. Stop it.

I commit myself to stand within as Self-Trust. Self-Trust being my self-assurance in who I am here as self-honesty, self-responsibility and Self-Strength.

I realize my ability to live words effectively as Who I Am, is a result of How I Give meaning to the words I speak. I realize I must first question and understand the meanings of my words if I am to ever establish Clarity and Purity within myself here as Life.

I realize the process of word investigation is a process of self-intimacy that is unique to each individual.

I realize and understand the self-satisfaction within purifying....fine-tuning an imperfection within my Word and World Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand that when I struggle within making decisions, it is a result of have conflicting charges existing within my words. I realize and understand the solution is within investigating the specifics of each word in regards to the problem. What I mean by Problem...is the Decision that has become stuck within a point of Indecision. Ironically, I realize that Indecision is also in fact a Decision.

When and as I see myself making a decision to exist within Indecision, I stop and breathe, I Ask myself, “Is this practical for me to make the decision of Indecision?” I realize that taking the time to make a decision is in fact a decision for indecision. This is so, in the sense that I am allowing myself to test things out, take time to sort things out...to see and investigate all considerations involved within the Focal Point of being faced with a Decision.

I commit myself to simplicity within and as my word and world here.

I realize, Life Simplicity is the Key to Me. Life Simplicity is Specificity. Specificity is Self/Life Regard.

Day 788 - Attitude

The Tune of where You are at.  It's like a status update. Attitude in it's fullest sense is a complete range of expressions....from high to low in octave...or the other way round....or any other which way for that matter.  From pleasant to scary to everything else in between.

The Gratitude of Attitude is to live Great your Attitude.  What does this in fact mean?  It means simply,  to own it.....because guess what, You are It.  Tag, each is always it....whether you like it or not.  And in the recognition of realizing that sometimes you will not like things, it is more than OK to express that disgust in a moment.  In fact it is a reality check into one's own self-honesty....a genuine point of self-intimacy.

A point of attention here is the culture of minimizing and perpetuating conflict....where it's like people love to hate conflict...yet perpetuate conflict as a means of trying to minimize it....as like,  'just let me drop the last bomb and then I'll stop'.  So much so this has become the narrative within our Words to each other, as so much so, This is a reflection of our inner narrative expressed externally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take Conflict personally as an act of War where I either go into Defense or Offense.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to marginalize Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard myself as Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within and as a Positive Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist a Negative Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate my Best Words as a result of being possessed within and as a Positive Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear a Bad Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take a Bad Attitude personally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Separate myself from the totality of Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to control my Attitude...and to Fear my Attitude getting out of control if I let go of Control over my Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Inferiorize myself within Control of Myself.

Let's Look at that last sentence here again:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to inferiorize myself within Control of Myself.

How am  I controlling myself....my attitude? Fear.  
How So? Conditioning my attitude to my wants based upon my desires which are rooted in the fact that I have knots within myself...as the things i don't want to experience as myself here...and so enter in the attitude and overall nature of Control.

I see Attitude as like the Weather, our Expression through our body from moment to moment as Our Stand here.  It is a point of Self-Confidence and Individuality. Someone who is a Self-Confident Individual, does not fear the Expression of themselves here.  This is where the enjoyment in sharing comes in.  I mean really have a look at what prevents the living of Attitude.  It is the Fear in and as Vulnerability.  Why?  Because you are exposed completely. Who, how and what you are in a moment is Here.  It is the Judgement we have conditioned to our Structured Sentencing that Fucks Ourselves into Oblivion, Because our Words have been abused like Codes we haven't taken the time to fully understand or realize.  Consequently resulting in and perpetuating our own Bullshit and a Greater World of Bullshit.  How can this Be?  It's because of our capacity to be Deceptive. We've dressed up and hidden our own Bullshit to such an extent that we Gloss over it and Misinterpret Ourselves and Others as a Result of Our Own Hiding and Fearing the Brutality of our very worst Disguise. Ironically, here lies the Design of Demise.

Day 787 - Creating Structure(s)

Lets have a look at Structure:

Our time is structured....whether we like it or not. Obviously depending on our time management and regard for our responsibilities and allotment of time...will reflect in the quality of our minute to minute structuring of our days within time.

Activities are structured.  Say you play a sport...there's a certain structure to it that makes it the very sport/game you play.  Television is structured into a specific amount of time....same with movies.  Also consider here the stories are structured in a way of a timeline.

Money Is Structured. What do I mean?  I mean lets say you use a bank, there's banking structure.  Also, how much money you receive from work that you do is often structures by an hourly wage, an annual wage, a commission per sale, and or by specific contract.  Each point showcasing a particular structured design.

Our Thoughts/Feelings/Emotions are structured. What? Have a look...if you investigate the details into one of your thoughts....you can see that it corelates to much about yourself in one way or another. Same with the feelings and emotions.  They have been conditioned into ourselves in very specific ways as a result of how we have acted and reacted in response to stimuli in our environment.  Basically how we have been conditioned to process information from the time we were born.  Interesting investigation into the structure of our thoughts/feelings/emotions....because in using our words as a point of source identification....we can explore further by seeing what connector words are associated to the core words that come up in relation to a thought/feeling/emotion.

Point I am getting at here is:  Everything exists within and as Structure. Notice how something that is well built is checked by the engineer to make sure that it is Structurally Sound.


Creation is therefore all about Structure.  Anything we do has that point of structure to it.  Even within the regard that we create new structures by learning and knowing...understanding old structures.  Because with this insight we are able to fine tune the structuring of things in ways that are great.  Though ironically enough if we look at the world of business, many products are being made more and more inferior in and as the quality/durability of their structure.

I have started Playing with the creation of Structures in my day to day living.  How so?  Specifying specific amounts of time to begin new projects.  I am keeping it super simple. So i've decided to test these specifc structures over the course of 1 year. Yup one year.  The structures I have set up are small investments of time on a daily basis. 5 minutes or more.  I set the stop watch and I immerse myself within the point for 5 minutes...or a bit more if i decided to do so.  Though the point here is in seeing for myself how many things I can create with very small investments of time on a daily basis.


See the interesting thing here is that the learning compounds everyday.  So, lets look more closely at the 5 minute investment each day.  Lets take 7 points of Interest. that's 35 minutes.  Each day for 365 days. That's  1825 minutes per point. now say you pushed yourself and you did 7 minutes on each point.  Keep in mind, you dont have to do these things, one after another.....you could have 7, 7minute blocks spread out throughout your day.  That doesn't seem all that difficult. That would equal 2555minutes on each project/investigation point of discovery.  Now the interesting thing here is obviously you could push it further if you wanted to.  Say you get 10 minutes on average....because you just can't help but want to do more once you've started this fun structure setup you've created for yourself.

The emphasis here is that their is tremendous growth potential when and as you create a structure where you build on your own momentum on a daily basis.  It's a cool discipline in short term focus for long term benefit.

So just figured I would share some of my structured investments that i've embarked upon. 



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist creating structured supports in my day to day living. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how supportive it is to create many structured points of support for myself in my day to day living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my tremendous creative potential within creating specific structures within my day to day living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget about Play in relationship to Structure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have forgotten about being a small child who was extremely satisfied to spend time on the Play Structures.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how setting up specific structures within my day is allowing me to Create Structured Play Time in a variety of ways.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how creating specific structures within my day to day living creates and supports the harmony of a balanced work/play creation.

When and as I see myself resisting one of my specific structures I have setup to support my day to day living, I stop and breathe, I realize that moving into the structure and playing and working with it will be fun.  That the time commitment is short and totally doable.  I realize that these specific structures i have setup in my day to day living are long term investments that yield a rich harvest.

I commit myself to the fruits of my labor.

I commit myself to using Structures to support my best potential.

I commit myself to using structures as a platform to Create and develop myself in ways in which i would like to expand and grow.

I realize by creating structures for myself I am creating a sort of recipe book of my own success.

I commit myself to living passion within the specific structures i have set up.