Day 659 - Creation and How to Make it Happen

I've noticed an interesting thing within my life in terms of creating things for myself. That being in many instances I require to "just go for it" and some instances even "dare myself to go there".

Why do I say "just go for it" and "dare myself to go there"?

I've noticed that within myself, fear has been a mitigating factor...a controlling factor really....a deal breaker...something that superimposes me to not actually want to create/express myself beyond my current status of acceptances and allowances.

Lets look at how I started dating my first girlfriend: She was a girl who I didn't really know all that well...other than that she played some sports at the high school I attended and that I was attracted to her looks and the fact that she was interested in sports. Also, we both had the same english teacher....I had the teacher first period...and she had the teacher second period...and oh ya....our lockers were near by one another.

So, what is interesting here is that we would cross paths within our day and we kind of looked at each other but didn't say anything to each other. This went on for a little bit. I decided that I wanted to talk to her and get her phone number so I could further get to know her because She was interesting to me. Anywho, I planned to talk to her and tell her I had been noticing her around and that I would like to get her phone number.

Interestingly enough, when the time came to actually say hi to her and share with her what I planned to say...its like I panicked...and was faced with this wall of resistance...nervousness....fear...doubt...uncertainty as to whether or not I would get her number. It's like I was paralyzed in actually moving the point and seeing if I could make something happen here...


So, after having accepted and allowed myself to back out of daring to express myself to her...I decided to make a plan that I would do it at this specific time in the future...because I believed it to be when I would next cross paths with her as our schedules normally intersected at this specific duration within the school day. However, as opportunities are often presented unexpectedly, I was back to my locker unexpectedly after an exam...and she too was at her locker...this was not in my planning...I wanted more time...I wasnt ready I believed to actually face her in communication according to my mind of my acceptances and allowances....

I saw the point of resistance/hesitance/ingrained fear here...and I decided to just go for it...I mean I already even had it all planed out as to what I wanted to say to her.

So, I did get her phone number.

I wouldn't have got her phone number if I didn't "make it happen".

Though, now I was faced with the point of actually calling her....which was a fearful thing to me at the time...I mean it's really some irrational fear here...like fear of rejection...fear of things not working out as I would like them to. Though what is interesting about this is that...by not doing anything...I am stuck within the point of nothing really happening/developing.

So I decided to just go for it..despite experiencing some anxiety/fear/nervousness/resistance about doing so,

I made it happen by dialing her phone number and calling her.

It really isn't that physically demanding to dial a phone number...though I had made the experience seem like an arduous task.

Calling her a second time was easier than the first time.

After talking on the phone I decided to ask her on a date.

I made it happen by asking her.



So from my example sharing here, can you see how I created a relationship? Do you see how I "made it happen"?

In looking specifically at the creation process, it's a physical movement...a communication...a specifically structured self-willing expression of oneself here.


I like the statement: "Ask and you shall receive"

This does not necessarily mean you are going to get what you ask for....but it does in fact mean you will get a response/feedback....whether it is the response you are looking for or it is not.  The practically of asking questions is that we "Create" process and progress which assists and supports further development/creation.

Say you are wanting to ask someone for help but you fear them neglecting to help you....well, ironically enough you are not helping yourself by not asking for help. In fact you are getting exactly what it is you don't want by accepting and allowing the fear that you don't want to take precedence over the potential of the possibility of making what it is you do want to happen.


Another example:

Creating an activity for myself and others:

Often after school I would arrange road hockey games. I really liked to play hockey as a child. I would call up every friend in the neighborhood to see who was interested in playing hockey. I would tell my brother to call all his friends in neighborhood to see who wanted to play hockey.

I made the decision that I wanted to play a game of hockey.

I took the "initiative" to facilitate the happening of the hockey game.

I made it happen.


What's interesting to see here within this hockey game example is that prior to me making the call....no one else had taken the "initiative" to making a hockey game happen. It's not to say, nobody wanted to play hockey...because in fact many people often played when I would make my round of calls to see who was interested in taking part in the game.


Let's now look at another example in regards to organizing social endeavors:

So, there was a time when I felt jaded about being the guy who was always making the plans for things to happen....and so I decided that I didn't want to take the "initiative" anymore and that I would just accept invitations or reject invitations to social endeavors that someone else put in the time to orchestrate.
What I noticed within this approach is that I was making a big deal about taking "initiative" and "making things happen"...and that I was being quite stubborn in neglecting the CREATION of Awesomeness.


Another example:

How I met my second girlfriend:

So, I noticed that I was generally neglecting to really genuinely express myself to girls in which I was attracted to....like the point of fear/self-consciousness/nervousness existed...

So, I decided that I am just going to go for it and be outward in my self-expression and that I am totally fine with whether or not my self-expression is well regarded. I figured this to be a cool point, because I was sharing myself and not holding myself back...and therefore I was CREATING the opportunity for something to develop and unfold by daring to exist within the unknown of a moment/situation...and that by taking this approach...I would have no regrets because I actually wouldn't be able to wonder about if  I actually went where I resisted going...or did what I resisted doing...or said what I was really thinking..

So, I was out at the pub this very night....and I had actually written about how I do not need a relationship with anyone and that I am perfectly content with being a single dude here....yet at the same time I was kind of seeing that by having a solid relationship with myself, the potential exists to have a solid relationship with anyone...and so, I was kind of thinking that I don't need a "special" relationship with One person....I can have relationships with all sorts of girls.

Anywho, as I was heading outside for a smoke, this girl caught my attention as we were crossing paths...and it was quite crowded and loud within the pub...and as we were in the midst of crossing paths, I decided that I would put my hand out and say and gesture "high-five" to her. She went for my high-five...and when she did, I gently squeezed her hand and moved inward and looked her in the eyes and said, "i just wanted to tell you that I thing your beautiful"...and then I let go of her hand and continued on my way out of the pub to have a smoke.

As I was coming back into the pub...it just so happened that the girl saw me...and she yelled to me "High-five"...and we locked eyes for a moment...and I was happy to see her and her outgoing response towards me...and I decided to go for a hug....and we hugged and after we chatted for a good little while and we found out that we had some common interests and that we were both in the midst of reading the same book.

The interesting thing about this example is that nothing would have developed here if I did not take the initiative to "make something happen". We dated for a good two years.


OK, another example:

So, I had been playing around within the point of stand up comedy and I had been writing stuff and also sharing what I thought was so awesome...specifically, "the Science of Awesome"....So, the "Science of Awesome" for those who haven't been privy to being educated within this Science:

'Do You Know why Awesome is so Awesome?'

'Because it's Awe So Me!

'You Know, because Awesome is always, all ways AWE-SO-ME'....and that's why when you say and see something that is Awesome, You are like, AWE, that is SO, ME! AWESOME! Because there is always Some Awe with Awesome....and it Takes One to Know One...and TAG, You're It!...and that's why the More You Know Awesome, the More You are It....because that's fucking Awesome....and when You Get it....You Got it!  Get it? Got It! Good!

"Do you know why Good is so Good?"

"Because Good is like God....But, with an Extra O.....And that is why multiple O's are so Good. Because it's like good god ohhhh god that's Gooooooooood.

"Get it, Got it, Good!"

"Fucking Awesome"

"Awe Ya"


Lol, pardon my silliness.


Ok, back to my story...about stand up comedy and the sharing of the Science of Awesome....

So, I had shared this science with many, many, many people....and the science was well received....I mean it is pretty fucking awesome.

Anywho, so I know the Science of Awesome is Awesome...I mean I wrote the science....and it had been peer reviewed countless times....

I remember being at the comedy club one time and I shared the science with a bunch of comedians that performed that night...I wasn't performing that night...but had took the initiative to shoot the shit with the comics afterwards and express my enjoyment about their performances. So, we get to joking around and I share my bit about Awesome and Good...and the comic I regard as the most talented in the bunch...tells me that I'm on another level than him....that this is some holy shit...

So, I get cool feedback from the comics as a result of making/taking the initiative to compliment their performances. I end up leaving the club with all the comics and going to one of their places to continue joking around...

So, cool learning and sharing's opened up as a result of making a point of expressing myself..

Note: I didn't know how things would unfold within expressing myself...however, it is cool to see how cool opportunities are often synonymous within creating the space to express and articulate ourselves.

Ok, the story continues....

So, a comedian I had been really enjoying at the time was coming to town.....I decided I was going to share the Science of Awesome with him...and basically wow him to the point where he's going to give me an opportunity to fast track myself within the world of stand up comedy....

So, I see the dude's show...and I am face to face with him after the show shaking hands....and I......

accept and allow myself to be influenced by fear/resistance....and I hold back from sharing the Science of Awesome with him.

How Unfortunate.

What a tragic comedy really...

There was potential in that moment to share the Science of Awesome with a comic I regarded as pretty fucking awesome...and I feared not getting his approval.


So,


When we allow ourselves to stand within and as the starting point of Creation/Expression Here...there exists no loss...fear of loss.....because we are Giving Everything we Got to Give in that Moment as the unconditional expression/movement/creation of ourself Here....and we are in fact living up to Our Potential.....Which, in and of itself,.....

is.....


Pretty Fucking Awesome!

Day 658 - Creating the Success of Ourselves Here

I just watched a Ted Talk called, "Programming Your Mind For Success".

In the beginning of the video, the presenter asked for a volunteer to come up on stage. There was resistance amongst the audience for anyone to just jump up and go up to the stage. The presenter said a few more words of encouragement and someone eventually came up to the stage and the presenter gave them 20 pounds.

The point the presenter was demonstrating was "Fear" in and as our Mind Programming.

Lets look at the simplistic definition of Success:

"The accomplishment of an Aim or Purpose"

Notice the relationship similarity/likeness of "Success" to "Succeed"

The simplistic definition of Succeed:

"Achieve the desired Aim or Result"

"Take over a throne, inheritance, office or other position from."

"Come after and take the place of"

"To come next in time or succession"

See the "Seed" within what it means to in fact "Succeed".

Hear the "Seed" within and as the word "Succeed"

Be the Seed in what it means to "Succeed"

Hear the "suck" in "Success"

See and hear the sound "says" like the sounding of the word "said" in the ending of the spelling of the word "Success".

This is walking the talking.

Breathing into Being the Creation of Life.

We are the Planter and the Seed.

Look and "See" within the "Seed" as What it is in Fact/Word You would like to create/develop/participate/expand upon.  

OK, Question: 

If I see and realize and actually know the words "Success" and "Succeed"....Why is it that actually living/manifesting "Success" and the response ability to "Succeed" is seemingly so difficult to achieve?

Answer:

Because we have created the reasoned justifications, excuses...as to why our word/world relationships with "Success" and our response ability to succeed to be so "difficult"

To put things simply.....'We have complicated things for ourselves"

To sort out our difficulties....our complications....problems....we must specifically identify with our words what it is that is in fact so difficult/complicated/problematic.

In doing this, we begin to actively take a part....remove our difficulty....because we get to Know the problem....and when we specifically Know the problem....we can in fact create the Solution....because in Knowing the problem...We can utilize the tool of "prevention as the best cure"...in creating the solution based on the starting point of Stopping/preventing the problem from occurring.

So, lets look at the point of Fear:

In seeing how we prevent our movement/success/achievement/purposes from being achieved because of our Fear....We can in fact forgive Our Fear as the point of making the effort to actively talk/walk/work through the fear by making the decision to 'When and as I am faced with the fear,...to, no more accept and allow myself to be bound/controlled/indebted to this "Fear".

What is interesting to see here is how I Created My Fear Here...and so, I in fact KNOW My Fear Here....So I achieve what I believe...I get what I give...one and equal....I do what I know...I can learn to do what I don't yet know how to do.

Back to the question of Why, 'even though we know the words "Success" and "Succeed" is it in fact so difficult to achieve....? ? ?

Because it's Hardly Easy...I mean it isn't without effort/work...though I do see/know that great work can become effortless as a Natural Ability and true physical self-expression.

What's interesting about achievement I've found, is that "Making things happen is as easy or as difficult as we make it"....

Why would we ever create difficulty/hardship for ourselves here? Not realizing and understanding the scope of our ability....response ability here....

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my very best results.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting nervous about achieving new goals and accomplishments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to make a mistake when I am playing for the win.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose and desiring to win.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making success/winning/being the best to be a competition of conflict I am in with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for carrying around stress/tension/strain as a result of desiring to win and fearing to lose.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of superimposing stress/strain/tension upon myself as like a believed necessary motivation tool to kick my ass into being better...a winner....a success...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that best results only come through as a result of perpetuated self-inflicted abuse/trauma.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get excited and emotional unstable about success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being too hard/difficult with myself at times and forgetting to laugh at myself as a point of knowing how to physically live aloud self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the practical living application of "leadership" within and as "success" and my ability to "succeed" in achieving my goals.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stand as "leadership" here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to follow somebody.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to look up to somebody.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating an addiction to fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I created an addiction to fear/energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my response capable abilities have been suppressed as a result of feeding/perpetuating an energetic/fear relationship within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to standing as a leader.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to make bad mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking for answers/solutions outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for negating/neglecting the specificity required in practically living self-trust in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to be able to just copy someone else instead of expressing myself for real and creating a practical living example.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself self-dishonesty within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding self-dishonesty to be irrational fear.

When and as I see myself faced with an opportunity to succeed as a result of my specific movement/performance in a specific moment, I stop and breathe, I see what is required to be done in order for me to succeed.....I accept and allow myself to know and trust the success of myself here...I commit myself to moving/performing as a self-created success story here.

I see/realize and understand myself as the author and authority that dictates my success here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the association between Expression and Success.....I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself as a self-success because of my response-ability in living/sharing my self-expression here.

I see/realize and understand the relationship between success and self-expression.

I commit myself to practically living the words "success" and "self-expression" and "succeed" in and as the creation or my Life Here.

I commit myself to practically living "integrity", "perseverance", "compassion", "passion", "stewardship". "like-able", "skillful", "natural talent", "keen" , "focus", "awareness", "comprehension", "reading", "mathematics", "bold", "daring", "fearlessness", "calm", "cool", "collected", "Money", "Extraordinary", "Stupendous", "excellent", "Greatness", "Flow", "breath", "garden". "plant", "growth", "relate-ability", "regard", "structure", "creation", "creativity", "ideas", "Words", "direction".

Day 657 - Self-Responsibility, The Buried Treasure

Here I am with an abundant of opportunity to move and dictate the manifestation of my destiny...and the funny thing is...it's difficult for me to create direction for myself...like knowing that I can do whatever I want...and that because I have such potential...I see there is this responsibility that I have...yet it's interesting that I say that there is this "responsibility that I have"...yet it's like I have not fully realized and understood this word and point of "responsibility" that I have, and know, and am able to exercise it as much as I want....and, really living this point/word "responsibility" that I have and own.

See, what I am learning more and more on a daily basis is this "responsibility" in which I am in fact the owner....to be more specific...the "responsibility" that I have and own is "Self-Responsibility".

The funny thing here is that even though I know I got/have it(Self-Responsibility)....What has become apparent to me as like me taking on the Self-responsibility for myself here as my own parental figure...and go figure...I have been learning how to walk the point of self responsibility for myself here.

See it's interesting because I see myself enjoyment coming from actually living my self-responsibility. the interesting thing is...is that I so often was seeking this self enjoyment outside of myself...like making the starting point about a particular condition and state of experience...when all in all...I see here...me the director of and as the point of my Self-responsibility.

So, I'm more and more aware of when I am neglecting my potential to live self-responsibly...as the knowing and understanding of myself responsibilities...because what is interesting here is like self-responsibility is in fact a way to work and play in the best possible ways...and well when I neglect my self-responsibility...I neglect living/existing here in the best possible ways...and If i am not existing here in the best possible ways...what the fuck is that all about...if and as I am in fact able to be here in the best possible ways...exercising the best abilities available...making the most of myself/situations here...the point of bettering myself and this world...because of the point that I can always be making my best better...and thus I am always becoming better than my previous best...like an ongoing  fine-tuning perfection/harmony/play/heaven here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my best possible ways of existing/expressing/creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself form self-enjoyment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the disservice I do to myself when I resist my very own self-enjoyment from moment to moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the self-enjoyment of myself from moment to moment to seem like a very difficult challenge at times...and like seemingly beyond comprehension.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity of my self-enjoyment being rooted in and as my response-ability to honor my self-honesty and self-trust here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for complicating the simplicity of and as my individual self-enjoyment from moment to moment as the author that I am all-ways here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing greatness within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my greatness in potential abilities here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the bare minimum approach within self-responsibilities..as like a poverty type mind set...as like just enough to get by in coping with my unjust acceptances and allowances

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising and sacrificing my best potential for the point of coping with unjust acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating a poverty type mind set as a result of fearing to take on the status standing here as Self-Empowered Man of Self-Responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for working and playing in ways that are less than the best for myself and all life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for excusing responsibility for lethargic behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating and justifying lethargic tendencies within myself.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the ridiculous absurdities of holding myself hostage within lethargy when it is in fact possible for me to do almost anything...as like giving myself whatever direction/future I would in fact like.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to actually commit everything of myself here to my future here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have neglected to give everything of myself to the future of myself here.

I forgive myself for myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my self-responsibility is like an investment and insurance into and as my future well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to really give a shit about my future well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having caste judgement upon my relationship within and about "responsibility"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to take self-responsibility for myself in every moment here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that taking self-responsibility for myself here in every moment is the point of actually taking ownership of my life and living here in every moment as the epitome of what is in fact best.

I commit myself to the epitome of what is in fact best.

I commit myself to taking ownership of my life and living here in every moment.

When and as I see myself being reluctant to do/give myself what is the best support/assistance...I stop and breathe...I have an aha moment as "yes", I see here and realize the opportunity I am presented with...and I welcome myself into and as the movement of receiving. I realize and understand the "movement of receiving". I see and realize and know that I cannot receive what is best for myself if I do not commit myself to moving myself into the point I wish to receive.

When and as I see myself faced with a point/gift I am resistant/apprehensive about receiving/getting...I embrace the fortune that I am bestowed...I commit myself to receiving the golden platter of support that is here for me...I realize and understand that sometimes it is quite a labor-full process in digging up the buried treasure...I see, realize and understand myself process journey to life as a digging and uncovering of buried treasure...as like it's all sorts of new discoveries of myself that I had previously mistakenly misplaced/buried/hidden.

I commit myself to the self-revealing process of my physical abilities/applications.

Day 656 - Old Boy - Revenge

Please read the following post before reading my post.

http://viktorpersson.com/2014/09/day-168-old-boy-the-revenge/

This is a great post here about the Korean Movie entitled, "Old Boy".


My sharing here will act as an addition to the sharing within the post that I urge you to read before following along with my writing here.


Revenge.....the re-play of vengeance.


In actually examining the point of  Revenge, No Revenge is Valid and or Acceptable from and as the starting point of what is best for all Life.

This I see here is a point of most unfortunate consequence.

The interesting thing here is that revenge is never without reason...and is therefore always justifiably valid within the eye of the beholder...as the one who seeks vengeance.

What is interesting about vengeance is the force within in it...as this, most perfectly illustrates the misalignment of Life Force Essence/Spirit/Integrity within a human being.

If you have a look at the determination within revenge it is absolute.  There is sound commitment here. In the movie 'Old Boy', you see the main character move through seemingly impossible challenges/conflicts in order to fulfill his Wish of extracting his revenge/vengeance,

Now, I mention the point of revenge being a point that perfectly showcases the misalignment of Human Life Force/Spirit/Integrity....because each of us has such tremendous potential to do good here...and revenge is a misguided calculation that committing harm and doing more harm is a necessary evil to bring about a greater good....which is kind of a tragic comedy here....because note the irony in fighting for peace....I mean that example should be painstakingly obvious...pardon the pun Jesus...I mean shit...what bullshit we have created within and as our own distorted justification as the means to our end.

The irony of revenge is that it's like chasing after a mirage....it's an imagined distortion really...a cognitive dissonance...an inability to do basic mathematics within and as the starting point of All as One as Equal.

This reflection on Revenge here has assisted and supported me to see and realize the strength of Self-Willing Determination. I see and realize the principle of Oneness and Equality. What is best for all Life is best for Me...because I am in fact a presentation of All Life Here. I see and realize each being is in fact a presentation of All Life Here.  The most unfortunate tragedy within our shared presentation here is our mistreatment of ourself here. I mean, have a look....humanity throughout history has been cycling within Revenge/Vengeance....Justification...always arguable so....the irony here is the cowardice behavior within ourselves in seeking revenge/vengeance....I say this is pure irony here....because have a look at how glorified revenge/vengeance is within our world culture as being heroic and patriotic...

So, what is really heroic and brave? Self Forgiveness.

I dare you!


Why do I say this?

Because it takes a real courage and honor to actually face the consequences of one's actions without making plans to perpetuate the consequence of one's actions....one in fact has to stop oneself from cycling out of control and for the first time ever...exercise some real self-willing control...to actually take control of One's Life...to actually give back control to One Self here to actually Create for Real...A Real Life worth Living...and I mean this is a bold task...because to face this point is to actually realize and understand Self-Forgiveness as a Practical Living Self-Responsibility....that it's beyond a choice...it's at the depth of our actual Life Force Here....Self-Forgiveness is the Force....It is the point....This is not Violence....this is in fact saying, 'till here no further will I abuse myself'....Now this is a difficult point because our programmed control logic/reasoning....is Fear/Violence....and I mean this is just the consequence of intelligent design being designed to be most clever in out witting one another...as like who can be the most nasty sly fucker....which is a total reversal to how things in fact are really suppose to be here on our play ground planet....which is most unfortunately looking like a prison from a global perspective...because we have not dared to really ever stand as those who really ever fully cared.

This I am seeing here is what Self-Forgiveness really in fact is....

Self-Forgiveness is the capacity to Care for Yourself as All Life and to In fact Give Yourself the Best Support and Assistance Possible as a reflecting example of Treating Yourself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have lived out cycles upon cycles of Revenge and Vengeance upon myself and all of Existence Unknowingly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my cowardice actions within and as the acceptance and allowance of Revenge/Vengeance as a behavior I believed to be a necessary justification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I have harmed myself and all of existence as myself within and as my justified fearful mindset.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the personality split and distortion between loving someone and hating someone.  I realize the confusion and delusion within such a mindset.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having perpetuated confusion and distortion within myself as a result of allowing myself to be possessed by fear energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I suppressed my creative control of Life by choosing to abide to irrational fears/justifications/judgments/beliefs/perceptions/ideas/words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I miscalculated the value of words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I miscalculated the value of myself here as All Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the value of all Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making believe the value of all Life to be too complicated to actually figure out and there for impossible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought and believed that valuing all Life as One and Equal is impossible.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how it is in fact possible to have regard for All Life Here.

I see, realize and understand that regard for all Life here starts within and as myself here. I see, realize and understand myself here as the self-responsibility to present myself as All Life here...as You is Me and Me is You....as I see, realize and understand that we are all here within the same process of  Presenting Ourselves to each other as All as One as Equal and the opportunity and Present is Ours in and as how we Present Our Self here in each and every moment as the Presentation and Expression of that which is Best for all Life.

I see, realize and understand that this process of presenting Our Self Here as Oneness and Equality is in fact our sharing and caring here.

When and as I see myself resisting to share and or care, I stop and breathe, I dare myself to share and care....I see, realize and understand the practicality of living caring and sharing as a principle embodiment of who/how/why I am here. I commit myself to practically living the principle of caring is sharing from and as the starting point of what is best for all Life.

When and as I see myself thinking about justification....I stop and breathe,...i see, realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of justification.

I commit myself to stop participation within and as the manufacturing of justification/bullshit.

I commit myself to self-willed determination as what is best for Myself as the presentation of All Life Here.

I commit myself to the physical embodiment of the words, "Integrity" , "Responsibility", "Spirit", "Strength", "Honor", "Courage", "Bravery", "Commitment", "Will", "Determination", "Creativity", "Here", "Home", "Play", "Work", "Extraordinary", "Performance" , "Sharing", "Care" , "Love", "Self:". "Trust", "Word"

I commit myself to practically living the physical integration of words as the practical living realization that I am the Living Words.

I commit myself to breathing Life into Words as the sounds I make as I speak the talk of my walk.

I commit myself to sharing my sounds as practical living words of support and assistance as what is best for all Life here.

Day 655 Facing Change and Learning

Sometimes in moments of facing something new...or something that I haven't mastered, there are moments of resistance I am faced with. The resistance is specifically defined as a point of impatience and anxious. See, this is an interesting combination because within the resistance energy I experience within myself, I do in fact want to change/learn/master the point I am faced with.

Usually, I recognize this point of resistance....however there have been some instances where I became temporarily possessed within the point of resistance...and really what that meant was that I created a totally blockade towards actually being able to effectively integrate the new application I was working with.  It's like a giving up on actually understanding and realizing your potential and capacity in a moment...like a complete suppression/shutdown.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become impatient within walking the process of and as my journey to life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being impatient with the time it takes for me to effectively learn and master new skills.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being anxious within learning new things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself back,,,like suppressing my ability and capacity to learn/realize myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed within walking a process of integrating new changes within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated with the space and time required within and as the physical integration process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my natural learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging learning abilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a self righteous attitude about learning.



To be continued

Day 654 Forgiveness and Surprise

It's always interesting to see what can open up and develop when we utilize our potential .



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected to to face problematic issues in moments because the outcome of such a situation is not certain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within fearing uncertainty. I see/realize and understand how ridiculous it is to accept and allowed uncertainty to exist as an excuse/reason/justification for non action within creating/developing solutions that are best for all.

I see, realize and understand how adjustments are often made to solutions as the process implementation of solutions/corrections is walked and that initial solutions/self-corrections are not necessarily concrete as the effective implementation of solutions/corrections is a process within space and time like that of concrete/cement which takes time to settle and dry once it's been positioned.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the surprises that often come out of and as a result of taking responsibility for situations of conflict...meaning, that when and as I see there is an opportunity for me to direct a situation of conflict, this in many instances is a cool point of support and assistance that is able to develop and evolve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected to face every instance of conflict that exists within my mind. I see/realize/understand how allowing a conflict to remain within my mind without immediate direction and response when I in fact see the scope of the situation...is in fact irresponsible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting immediate responsibility for my thoughts/feelings/emotions in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the constant and consistent application of self-responsibility required in working through the depths of my mind.

I see, realize and understand that self-forgiveness is not really effective from the starting point of giving in order to get....even though that as you give to yourself you get to receive....which is really like a bonus in fact....because I see, realize, and understand that self-forgiveness is an actual self-expression we give/create for ourself here because it is a vital necessity within walking the process journey to Life as All as One as Equal.  Self-forgiveness is Self-Responsibility.  Self-Responsibility is Self-Expression. Self-Expression is Self-forgiveness. Sharing is Caring.

I commit myself to Sharing and Caring about myself as All Life Here.

I commit myself to perfecting my ability to live self-responsibilities.

I commit myself to practical living self-responsibility as who/how/why I am here.

I commit myself to daily self-reflection as a learning tool.

When and as I see myself resisting to look at a point, I stop and breathe...I see that this resistance that is coming up within me is actually like an alarm and siren going off within me as like a totally clear indicator that I have a situation within myself that requires and needs immediate attention and direction. I therefore take immediate responsibility for the resistance in the moment and create the solution to the problem/resistance. I see, realize and understand that obviously it is important to always take care when walking/working with resistance and that it is not in fact responsible to create unnecessary risk for individual well being and safety as a point of facing resistance. I see/realize/understand the practicality and common sense applications within working/walking through resistances.

Day 653 - Surprise is the Sure Prize and Sure Price?

It's fascinating to see how I have in many instances...

Actually resisted giving myself the surprise...

As the point of pushing into the unknown of myself here because there is no "energy" and "motivation" to do so...

Like there is no pulling and or pushing "Energy Experience" inside myself to do/create from moment to moment that is like this impulse....

Yet, what I find interesting about this...

Is,

.........,

At the same time,

..........,

There is......

This....

 Very Physical Point of Myself Existing Here.

 Me.,

 The Starting Point

of....

and as.....

 Me/My Being Here...

 Which,

 Is Always....

 All ways about pulling and pushing things open

 As the movement of me here

To

Explore/Play/Work/Develop/Create

Responsibilities.

I experience myself in many moments missing this "Self-Innovation Responsibility" of myself here...,

As a result of negating and neglecting to develop and open up the potential surprise and sure prize...

As the exploration into and as the unknown will surely bring forth new insight,,,

Which is obviously a sure price to pay....

Because isn't self-discovery and self-awareness the sure price...

When and as One is all ways willing to invest...

As our time here,

Because our ability to in fact enjoy our time here comes from and as our awareness here,

Being able to direct our response able connections/relations

Within and as the expression of self-awareness and Self-Responsibility.

This being our Why and Who and how of What We in Fact are.....





What am I exploring about directing and responding in accordance with our awareness?



Self-movement, self-actuality, self-creation, our potential, innovation, exploration, discovery, insight, uncovering, new development, process and progress, learning, new, education, standing status, increased potential.....etc...etc..

So,

to be more specific here in the moment:


I am looking at how and why it is there has been such a hesitance and resistance to actually creating a full time vocation to the innovation of Awesomeness and Cool in and as my expression of myself here from moment to moment ?..........

So,

Specifically,

I am seeing how there is things/activities/points that i see as being interesting and cool to explore.....BUT....have not actually pushed myself into moving through and developing because I do not know what the Prize and Price will be at/as the harvest of my fruits/labor...., which is interesting in and of itself because it's like I justify not testing and exploring the depths of my capacity because I don't know what they are and I cannot actually see them...so therefore kind of artificially inducing the logic that because I don't know/see it....then it can not in fact exist...

and here the kicker...

the kick starter...

as the potential that I am, always exists here....

yet the potential that I create is the...

in the moment movement of myself that can only be witnessed as myself in and as the moment I make the decision to participate within and as the exercising my movement/potential here....

which is fascinating because as I actually dare to move/explore/investigate/play/work,

I in fact actually act out  my response abilities to and as what is in fact best for Life....,

which is in fact interesting and fascinating within and as how the process of and as my self-creation/innovation in fact works here as the labor of movement/birth/breath/physicality here.



Why is the question?

the King of the Quests.....

yes, WHY, is in fact the Question.

When You Ask WHY....You Get to Know HOW and WHO.....because HOW and WHO are related to WHY....because HOW and WHO were created and innovated through WHY....

I say through WHY...because it is a passing on type of process as in and how it is in fact that we create/move/share/develop/grow/learn.....

Sharing is Caring principle at work/play here....

because,

as the cause that be....,

this is the essential ingredient/recipe in putting together the whole picture/puzzle that originated as the WHY....

and since we are WHY...

We know HOW and WHO...

because we are also the WHO and the HOW because all LIFE is ALWAYS Relative,

which is fascinating in and of itself because all Life is always here within and as the CREATION PROCESS HERE.

It's FUN and Fascinating to explore our potential as we enable ourself to move for the sake of moving as the exercising, working and playing of and as our Natural Learning Ability here.

What is so cool about this, is that, we are essentially a "Surprise".

The saying comes to mind: "Life is full of Surprises".....which I see can also mean....Life Is Full of Itself.....Which I see is; Within and so Without.....Internal equals External...

So, is "Surprise" in and of itself an expression and explanation of Our actual Potential Here?

Is Life not the Prize and Price all  must pay/give/receive?

Would it not be silly to disregard the value of All Life Here?

If One disregards aspects of Life Here...Does that mean, One is in fact disregarding the existence of their Life Here and therefore All Life Here....because, are not all Lives here connected to this One Life we are all existing within Here?

SO,

Is it important to give surprises to one another?

Is giving someone a surprise like giving someone a gift?

Is Our Life not the most valued Gift Here that has been given/bestowed to us Here?


Does it make sense that, that which has not been Forgiven has not been given for myself?

Am I able to Give Forgiveness to myself in every moment all of the time so that Everything/All of My Life is Given/Received/Lived/Expressed/Cherished...?

Is Self-forgiveness the Key/Tool to Receiving/Accessing/Unlocking/Opening Myself Up Here as the Kingdom of Heaven?

Would Life itself not be a complete surprise as the manifested expression of the Kingdom of Heaven in All it's Glory?



Looking more at "Surprise"... surname...sur-prize......"sur" the prefix meaning: "over, above, and in addition to"....survive...surcharge...survey....very sure......as above and so below....Life and Death is beyond Survival.....Death is In Life and Life is In Death....So,.. AS Within and So Without.....LIFE IS WITHOUT DEATH AND DEATH IS WITHOUT LIFE.....LIKE, Oneness and Equality together as our weather that creates the flow of the expression we sew as the fabric of Life we play with here.....

Interesting to see the parallels within our Life Fabric/Substance here and Our Fabrications here as the make up marker, covering up what is already here and clear as the purity of Nature.