Day 551 Teacher Student Relations

I experienced a little bit of agitation, frustration, annoyance and irritation within teaching ski lessons today.

The scenarios's that triggered these incidences were when a student or students were causing the rest of the class to wait upon them. What bothered me was that the student or students seemed to have no regard for how their particpations effective the rest of the class.

I see how in these particular incidences I briefly allowed myself to take the events personally and go into a form of reaction/judgement where I victimized myself as a result of the particular events unfolding.

Also I see how I directed blame towards the students in thinking that they ought to know better.

I see how in the particular incidences I lacked empathy and consideration. I see how I momentarily disempowered myself by taking the unfolding of the events personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the self-victimization of myself within taking the unfolding of events personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying agitation, frustration, irritation and annoyance as a result of participating within the blame and judgement of accepting and allowing myself to be triggered/stimulated by people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within and as the superiority character within participating as a ski instructor/teacher.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have created a cognitive dissonance towards my students within taking on a superiority personality as being the teacher/instructor. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the equality within student/teacher relations and that I am in fact always both the teacher and the student as like I am also learning from the students as the students also stand within and as the role of teacher.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting annoyed, frustrated, angered and irritated within the incidences where I assumed/believed/perceived that the students ought to know better. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself as the student within these particular incidences and how I know better that to judge/assume and create a form of logical self-manipulation within myself as a way to justify and validate separation and the abuse of energetic accumulation within myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being inconsiderate towards my students within thinking they ought to know better. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for projecting blame, anger, agitation , frustration, annoyance and irritation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being spiteful and self-righteous within thinking that my students ought to already know these particular things and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to educating and informing others about things I believe and perceive that they ought to already know and understand. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying resentmenttowards my students as a result of having accepted and allowed myself to participate within emotional energetic reactions towards my students.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being selfish within my relationship with others within not fully wanting to give up superiority/inferiority relationship and place myself within their shoes as one and equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have created moments of temporary hardship/burden in relationships with others as a result of not placing myself within and as the shoes/position of the being. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within being resistant/reluctant to place myself within and as the shoes/position of all beings within and as this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being spiteful and self-righteous within neglecting to place myself in the position of each and every single being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for only sometimes placing myself in the position of other being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame of only sometimes regarding the equality of Life here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being shameful and spiteful towards the equality and oneness of all Life here.

When and as I see myself looking at another being as separate from myself, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand there is a point of cognitive dissonance here as accepted and allowed manifested separation, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a rift/separation between myself and another being here. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness in perpetuating experiences of cognitive dissonance. I commitmyself to removing all experiences of cognitive dissonance within myself.

When and as I see myself considering being angry, irritated, annoyed, agitated or frustrated, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the disservice I do to Life within accepting and allowing myself to abuse life within the energetic reactions of anger, irritation, annoyance, agitation and frustration. I look to reflect upon the point within myself and see how a moment of opportunity opened up where a particular event/scenario unfolded as a lesson for me to learn from within seeing and realizing where/how/why self-correction is required within myself with specific regards to a particular point. I commit myself to walk the specificity of self-correction with specific regards to a particular point. I commit myself to utilizing the lessons/opportunity that are presented to me here in every moment to self-perfect my standing here within and as the equality and oneness of Life.

When and as I see myself formulating logical assumptions within my mind about others as like what I think/believe/perceive, I stop and breathe, I return the points within myself as I realize and understand this thinking/believing/perceiving is specific to what I have accepted and allowed to exist within my mind...and that it is my self-responsibility to remove the limitations of my thinking/believing/perceiving about others within myreality. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of rationalizing and perpetuating the justification of judgement as a necessary thinking/believing/perceiving mechanism necessary to self-define others within a limited view. I realize and understand that holding onto limited views about others reflects that acceptance and allowance of self-suppression within myself. I commit myself to stop all forms of self-suppression within myself. I commit myself to investigate all forms of self-suppression. I commit myself to stop and prevent self-suppression within myself.

I commit myself to valuing and regarding All Life Equally.

I commit myself to Equality and Oneness within and as Teacher/Student....Student/Teacher relations.

Day 507 Branding and Marketing

The point came up about branding and marketing myself.  There's been some discomfort within myself with regards to the point of branding and marketing myself.

Looking within myself with regards to the words branding and marketing I see how I have accepted and allowed some negative energy connotations with regards to these words as how they work in the the world system Within this I didn't regard or understand how I was taking a stance within these words and how my stance/position within these words has created a friction within myself about specifically branding and marketing myself.

For instance, When I was quite young I regarded name brands as quite cool, as like there being a certain prestige the goes along with supporting a name brand. Then as I got older it was more about refining my brands, like only supporting the best quality brands in quality and craftsmanship...and having the high end products within the brand line.  Also though I kind of developed a rebellious attitude towards 'name brands' as like being a point of evil and being a conformist, and as a result of perpetuating the injustices that exist because you know, big name brands are all about profit...and within this I started thinking more and more about the injustices within labor exploitation, and also about logo's, thinking that it is not cool to be labelled with logo's...like I basically went the opposite way that I had before...where I was kind of taking the attitude I don't give a shit about labels and brand names...like being like I'll where whatever.

The same thing kind of with marketing...in that the way I would wear my clothes was very deliberate, like wanting to look a particular way and project a particular image. That image primarily through high-school was the preppy jock.  Then I shifted away from the preppy look and into the lounging look...like it became more about cool and comfortable...with a bit of rebellion in there as like wearing sweat pants and slippers or jeans and slippers...and skate shoes...wearing the skate shoes just because they were big and comfy...not really that great for running around or anything...but good for lounging in...and lots of hooded sweatshirts.

There's always been some resistance within me to prescribing to a particular dress code.  Though it's funny because I never had a school uniform but I remember thinking it would be alright to have a school uniform...and I just knew the way I rocked/wore my uniform would be cool/enjoyable.

I like the different styles of clothes that exist. I enjoy picking at my clothes. I've enjoyed doing this since I was young.  At some point I kind of reacted to the point of liking to style myself in particular ways...and kind of revolted as like like dissing my own styles by being like whatever, who gives a shit about style, and created a who gives a shit style...or maybe more appropriately labeled I don't give a shit.  I was reacting to the ideas I had incorporated within myself as a result of my environment about dress etiquette...like you know dressing professionally...and I just reacted so much so to this...as like thinking how lame it is that there's kind of a uniform standard dress code of how you are supposed to be dressed for particular functions/events...and within that...the various labels that co-exist with wearing these types of clothes or those types of clothes.  I mean I kind of got wrapped up in my own judgement but not realizing and seeing it.

It's interesting that I reacted so much to dress codes that in created this stigma about dress codes and within that it's like I created this stigmatization within myself.  Like just kind of taking on points of conflict...not considering how I was developing/expanding/creating internal conflict within myself...only perceiving the conflict to exist externally as like a point of separation from myself.

With the word Stigmatization coming up I reflect back to elementary school and I recall not getting invited to this girl's birthday party that was a boy/girl party in like grade 5 or 6 where pretty much every body in the grade at the school was invited but I wasn't invited because I had been exploring body parts with this particular girl a little while earlier...and the girl's mother found out and told my parents....and this was like made to be this big deal and secret bad thing that wasn't to be talked about...and like I was regarded as a bad apple/influence by the girl's mother...and thus I was outcasted from going to this boy girl party where there would be things happening like spin the bottle and getting locked in the closet.   Anyways, I was kinda sad/disappointed about not being aloud to go to party...but I at that age accepted that I was the bad apple...and believed to understand why I couldn't go because the girls mom feared me as being a bad influence.

I see how I spawned the attitude from there that I am too cool, like too cool to be allowed to socialize with all my peers all the time because I'm such a strong influence...and a strong influence is an influence to be feared.

The point came up today where I was saying that the world isn't very cool. Like there needs to be more coolness. I was saying how politicians and celebrities aren't cool at all, the education system isn't cool, war isn't cool, poverty/abuse/suffering isn't cool, pop culture isn't cool, societal norms aren't cool, commercials aren't cool....I went on to say I got to take self-responsibility for cool....because seriously things are not cool...like there's so much stuff that isn't cool. I was talking to family members about this point...and I kind of jokingly said I'm going to appoint myself the ambassador of cool...and then I started getting reactions from people saying that I got to be appointed by other people in order to be the ambassador...that I can't just declare myself it....that there is not validity to my claim if others are not validating my claim. I said, I  take self-responsibility as the presentation and embodiment of cool. I see it as a point of individual self-responsibility and self-trust. A self-agreement as commitment to the expression of what is best for all Life.

The point of discussion veered towards seriousness as like seriousness being separated from cool...like the opposite of seriously cool...like seriousness became a point of uncool....where if you want to be taken seriously, you can't be cool....

The point came up that cool is subjective...

I said cool is beyond subjectivity....cool is a point of objectivity.

The point came up in discussion that if you want to be well regarded and protect yourself from being slandered, You must limit your exposure/sharing/expression...because even though it may be cool....others may not regard it as a cool and try to use it against you.....a reference was made to the tv series game of thrones...and how Ned Stark was a pretty cool dude from the perspective of being a man of nobility and being morally right with honor in his actions....and how he's was killed as a result of his stance/position....like the pawns on the chess board were moved around and it resulted in him being taken out.

The point being, you have to play the game...know how to play the game....know thy enemy know thy self...kind of thing...like you got to operate within the system to change the system.

I am reminded of the point: By understanding the impossible it becomes possible.

Like knowing what is not cool opens up the opportunity for what is cool to be born and expressed.



So, I opened up a lot of points for more further specific self-investigative exploration....so stay tuned