I enjoy playing golf. At times, golf can trigger a whole bunch of emotions within myself. It's interesting to even listen to myself say that. "golf can trigger a whole bunch of emotions within myself." I mean, it's me as golf and the specifics of the relationships dynamic particulars from moment to moment....as like how I specifically name/defined the particulars of any given moment and situation on the the golf course. Like for instance and example here: Approaching my golf ball and looking at the potential shot I can hit here and then thinking about my ability to do it....like a sort of judgment and value created belief in my capacity to do the shot...where it's like the whole nature of the thinking is sometimes glossed in a fear of fucking up the moment, missing the shot, not performing the result I see that is needed/best....and then from here, taking myself into a sort of self-talk pep talk as like a sort of self-religion of pep-talk, as like a self-believed comfort talk in focus on performing the motions that are needed. But in questioning this automotive conditioning that comes up from time to time with regards to various moments, is the very fact and nature of this 'fear' hidden beneath this 'self-talk' at like the very core of myself as who I am in relationship to the moment. And this 'Fear', essentially rooted into my core being belief structured thinking is justified logically within and as my conscious mind of thought, which comes out seemingly natural as who I am...and thus, seemingly very believable. Believable, yes, because it is the very self-reflection of my self-created belief systems. And the kicker and the irony is that it is entirely fucked up....like in a way that I would not like for myself or for anyone...because the starting point as has been mentioned earlier is Fear. Fear being a sort of paralyzing function in and as complete self-trust....the ability to move oneself in and as a state of confidence.
In taking regard here for myself within and as the layering conditioning of the psychology of myself within and as Fear as the resulting process which triggers the conscious self-talk / pep-talk as like how to move myself through a motion of action,....Is a very interesting point of Question and Investigation...Because I see this being a sort of self-created disharmony in the music that is me here as harmony. What do I mean by this? I mean, it's like I am creating a rift in my ability to naturally perform a specific motion and movement with effortless ease, power, precision, clarity and exact specificity. See, I see myself and everyone having a natural learning ability....and our naturally learning ability is innate, a given that all life has been gifted with. Now, this is where the story gets interesting, See, we all have this extraordinary....extra-ordinary ability...yet our knowing and understanding of ourselves as it gets complicated and confusing throughout time, due to the extensive nature of how we have allowed ourselves to play/work/develop our abilities here. See, I see that our playing here as a grand generalization has been to a certain extent, very lackluster...where we sort of write ourselves off in one way or another,...Ironically and totally not realizing ourselves as the very narrator and authority who ultimately decides and designs the results of our actions/reactions/non-actions.
To be continued Here:
note: I wanted to open this up to get the ball rolling and really get into the best swing of things as starting the momentum within and as a topic of profound awesomeness in so many ways that really is the epitome of and as our ability to create ourselves as our lives in ways that are fun, enjoyable, and all ways Best here.
Cheeeeers :)
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