Day 696 - Discipline

Throughout my life I have had mixed emotions in relationship to the word "Discipline."


Discipline started out as something to be feared. My parents were the Administrators of Discipline. As far as I understood....Discipline was only something terrible as a form of punishment that I would associate as being like a kind of torture that would be done unto me in some capacity as a result of my "misbehavior" according to the Administrators of Discipline....aka....my parents.


So, Discipline and I did not get a long. I did not like Discipline. As far as I was concerned, Discipline could go fuck itself and die...for I would have been satisfied with no more dispensing of Discipline from the Administrators of Discipline...aka...my parents.


Note, for the record here....No blame is being pointed at the Administrators of Discipline Here...this is a Story about my Relationship with Discipline. The Word...


So, not until I became wayyyyyyyyyyyyy older than my first receiving of Discipline as an apparent method of Torture employed by my parents...aka...my Authorities...

Now in all fairness, I do not recall my Authorities....I mean my parents ever once mentioning that they were Disciplining me as a method of Torture. No, the informed me that I was receiving Discipline as a form of Punishment as a method to instill in me regard/respect for the behavior/actions that was required and to be expected of me from my parents....

What's interesting is that Discipline often arose as a result of my unexpected behavior and was seen as a method of remediating behavior that my parents did not like...that was not appropriate in and as their judgement. Granted....perhaps some of my behavior was outlandish...

So Discipline had become quite the resistance movement within me....to the point where my mobility was in rebellion to my parents in and as Defense of Discipline...meaning, my relationship with my parents developed to a point of no regard....no regard from the perspective that I stopped listening to them. Sort of. I would hear what they would say....and I would deliberately side with the point that they were in opposition towards. Meaning if they thought some idea was particularly good....it was therefore bad to me. 

What is fascinating about the playout of my reactionary defensive conflicted relationship with my parents is that I wasn't really consciously aware of how I was existing in a perpetual state of reaction in relationship to the existence of my parents.



To Be Continued

Day 511 Branding and Marketing Part 3

In the initial blog I wrote entitled, "Branding and Marketing", I said,

"When I was quite young I regarded name brands as quite cool, as like there being a certain prestige the goes along with supporting a name brand. Then as I got older it was more about refining my brands, like only supporting the best quality brands in quality and craftsmanship...and having the high end products within the brand line.  Also though I kind of developed a rebellious attitude towards 'name brands' as like being a point of evil and being a conformist, and as a result of perpetuating the injustices that exist because you know, big name brands are all about profit...and within this I started thinking more and more about the injustices within labor exploitation, and also about logo's, thinking that it is not cool to be labelled with logo's...like I basically went the opposite way that I had before...where I was kind of taking the attitude I don't give a shit about labels and brand names...like being like I'll wear whatever."  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for taking on the attitude of only supporting the the brands in the best quality and craftsmanship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging inferior brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging people who were wearing inferior brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to brand myself with an heir of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to be regarded as superior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding myself as inferior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking on the attitude of rebellion towards name brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being angry at high end name brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for projecting blame towards profitable name brands as like being more evil than less profitable name brands because they were making more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being frustrated with the integrity of company brands within the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous of highly successful brand names companies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto spite towards successful name brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for projecting spite onto others who were wearing successful name brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to successful name brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict within myself between successful and unsuccessful name brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself frustrated emotionally with the inhumane labor practices of name brand companies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for projecting anger and blame outside of myself at the world for the fact slave labor sweatshops is the reality of of big business.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to define and identify myself with particular brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling guilty and remorseful for having identified myself with particular name brands that have been known to provide workers with unfavorable working conditions and very low wages.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attaching prestige to particular logos

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging logos

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring particular logos.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to face the reality of what the logos represented but just wanted to focus on the prestige that has been marketed around and about particular logos.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having identified myself as name brand loyalty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having identified myself as anti name brand loyalty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and think it is cool to wear popular name brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing and thinking it is uncool to wear known brands and logos.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to wear less know brands and logos and within this believing that it is more hip and cool to wear brands and logos that are less known about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking myself to be original and creative by seeking out clothes that are made by companies that I had never heard about before.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to wear clothing that no one else has.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for talking shit brands and logo's.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a marketing and branding war within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating positive feelings of righteous superiority within wearing popular expensive name brands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to be regarded as royalty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging clothing and equipment based upon the brand name as opposed to the actual structural integrity of the product.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the entire economic system perpetuates abuse and disregard for human labor.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attaching positive energies towards acquiring popular name brand products.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good within buying popular name brand products.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting favorable working conditions for laborers within companies.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting the elimination of exploitation of human labor.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting the eradication of slave labor.

I commit myself to exposing the necessity for implementing a 'Living Income Guaranteed' as a practical living solution for the eradication of poverty.

I commit myself to further educating myself about effective company branding and marketing.

I commit myself to let go of all jealousy towards the owners of highly successful companies.

I commit myself to stop desiring to be wealthy.

I commit myself to accepting myself as wealthy.

I commit myself to growing my wealth and utilizing my wealth to influence changes that are best for all Life.

I commit myself to giving money in support of the Equal Life Foundation.