Day 784 - "Let me Tell You"

Communication is a really fascinating endeavor, Isn't it?

I mean, an Endeavor can be regarded in a Plethora of ways, can't it?

Where am I going here with my focal point?

Let me tell You:

I've become aware that in many instances I have communicated from a starting point of "Let me Tell You", with a specific emphasis on the positive feeling or negative emotion that comes up within me connected to a desire to say my piece about whatever the point in question happens to be.  In many instances, my telling is a suppressed form of sharing....because my starting point has often been conflicted to some extent.  Not always, but in many instances...Like, specifically when there is an urge to say something...You know, that experience of I got to tell you this now...like oh man, i was triggered by something you said and now i got to let you know what i think about that.

And within this starting point of "let me tell you", there's a whole range of emotion and feeling reactions.  Some of them are subtle and some are intense, and some are somewhere in between subtle and intense.

Who really cares about the quality of communication anyways?  I mean, isn't the most important thing that we just say whatever it is that comes up within ourselves?  You know, like, we are all just shit shooters....shooting shit at each other and making a big deal about shit that isn't really substantial but is just inflated shit that has no real core depth about it...you know, that surface and petty bullshit being flung around.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak from a starting point of being worked up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thing the importance of what i have to say is determined by the energetic build up inside myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard the quality of my communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-sacrifice quality of words for quantity of words...as like in a way sexualizing my vocabulary and just wanting to get a rise in a way....so it's like how many times times can i get off, a rise, feel an energetic high and get a release with what i say.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the extent to which i have justified speaking a sort of venom within my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify spewing shit/venom because of the experience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to recycle participation within energetic mindfucks within myself.  I realize my capacity to effectively live the accounting for my words here, because i am here within and as my words everyday.  I realize my responsibility to investigate the purity of my words and sounds.

I commit myself to purity in thoughts, words and deeds.

I commit myself to investigatng the purity of my thoughts, words and deeds.

I commit myself to listening to the quality of my sound.

I commit myself to substantiating the equality and oneness of myself here.  I realize my sound in and as my words is a cool cross reference check point.

Day 783 - Real Time Learning/Movement is Always Here...Where Have I Been?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create resistance and hesitance within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how much opportunity and support is available for me in every moment here in so many ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress Learning within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand my potential to Learn and for Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create judgements about learning particular things.....like thinking I can and cannot learn from so and so or such and and such.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to inferiorize my Learning and movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I created stagnation within and as my learning as a result of accepting and allowing myself to Fear moving myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how synonymous Learning and Movement are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose sight of myself within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the conditioning of inferiority as a built up resistance towards movement/participation within activities in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the irony of Inferiority......where inferiority exists as a result of not physically moving oneself into a direction of self-accountability for one's acceptances and allowances in regards to a particular point....and therefore by choosing to 'not move', knot one's movement potential and response-ability...and therefore submit into the status of mind movement activity of inferiority as like creating one's own inner turmoil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my capacity to play and work effectively is very much directly related to my enjoyment and openness to Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be closed minded with regards to Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self-righteous about Learning...and therfore ironically suppress my learning ability and potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in conflict about Learning new things....where I have a resistance and hesitance to actually dare myself to move myself and play for the fun of it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the fun within Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the play within Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my creativity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my creativity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my appearance and vulnerability within learning something new.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-sabotage myself.

Day 782 - Learning - Relationship Awareness

 



Some cool Insights here:

It is possible to get tremendous insight from someone who is not well versed in the technical mechanics and advanced vocabulary of a subject you are well versed and studied within. Here exists a tremendous opportunity that is often over looked, in favor or 'professional' opinion.   See, everyone has a natural learning ability and has the grounding basis of common sense reasoning with them.  You know, the point of "keep it simple".

I had a first hand experience with opening up and regarding the input of others who i may have previously disregarded because they didn't fit the 'pro' status and necessary accreditation i've been conditioned and accustomed to seeking out as a point of Authority to validate and reason about a sense of clarity within myself.   Ironically, the waters within myself as the information about the particulars of a point often become more muddied within seeking out the info from the 'pro'.

Note: my example i am going into here, is in specific relationship to golf....however it can be reflected and regarded in many different relationships and activities. Note, I am not dismissing the practical support in seeking a professionals opinion in whatever field you are investigating.  I am moreover, bringing awareness to the 'flip side' of the same coin....the support of the 'amateur'.

So for instance, with Golf as an example here:  It is a common thing to get one's own swing rather discombobulated within the process of "trying/wanting to fix it".  The irony and kicker here is of course, not realizing and understanding the mechanics of one's patterned conditioned behavior. The awareness of one's movement. Meaning, the input and the output.  When I accept and allow myself to do this, the resulting outflow is this. When you understand how to do something, you can also, equally understand how to do something else.  However it can be extremely frustrating, and massively irritating when You do not take the time to understand what you are doing (accepting and allowing)....but at the same time you have defined it as a problem/bad/wrong....and you want to fix/correct it.  See, how can you correct something that you don't know what it is? Funny isn't it?  Here we have the frame work into structuring our plans/goals/wants/desires. The Creation recipe book in a way. 

See, it's within and as our understanding of what we got/have that we are able to create new complimentary additions for ourselves and others here. The Fine tuning of our movements/relationships here, enables us to work and play with the development of our best results.  It's like a a regard for stretching into our potential.  See, improvement is made with regard for little movements. The awareness here for both the big and the small.  The big movement is a result of many small points in motion. Take walking as an example.  It's something we can easily do. We learned it through playing/working on it, and balancing ourselves out within the process, where we had to become aware of all of our stabilizing points....you know, our equilibrium. "Our Feels"...the physical feels of our physical movements here.


To Be Continued