Day 775 - In Fear You're It

 




Inferiority - In fear you are it. You are it in fear. Inferior I tied to the why of the fear I fear. Inferior it is why. A less than experience and acceptance and allowance.  Often masked and projected externally as superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I have existed as the Inferiority character construction within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even believe it possible that I could exist within and as the point of Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my very own inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and deny acknowledging points/moments/reactions within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as such a bad thing, like one of the worst things a person could be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that inferiority is a choice and a decision so much so and that if you are ever faced within and as the point of inferiority, you should hide it by presenting a false front, lie and deny it, as a way to not accept it within yourself.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizes how I created coping defense mechanisms within my mind as ways to 'survive' within and as the moments of inferiority. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how recognition of moments of inferiority is a great point of strength in seeing how and where you are not measuring up to par within and as a point/application/ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made inferiority a perpetuated weakness within myself, by being afraid to admit points of inadequacy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and really know inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a preference towards hiding from my inferiority within and as the outward projection of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compound the existence of inferiority within myself as a result of believing myself to be high, mighty and powerful within the character reaction of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create abuse within myself internally and externally as a result of fearing to face myself within the full spectrum of polarized characterizations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I constructed a primary character throughout my life as Inferiority who reacts in fear and projects superiority as a coverup job and operation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live a lie as my very own self-deception and self-manipulation as the reactionary inferiority character that created and energetic addiction towards channeling a high and might experience within myself as my energetic release for the built of layers of shit that I would compound within myself as my mind activity here in defense and conflict with myself and world as everyone here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent and scope to which I created clever coping mechanisms to induce a positive energy high experience and escape for myself as a result of fearing to get real with myself and acknowledge/face/know/understand my weakness as Inferiority and Inadequacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate vulnerability and sensitivity to being undesirable forms of weakness connected to inferiority and that it is my choice to disregard and deny the reality of these words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to construct myself in and as inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my potential as a result of fearing to get real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be on the run from myself...as like constantly being on the move within fear as my accepted and allowed mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating all sort of beautiful words and ideas and concepts as various ways of my word patterned communications to perpetuate a false front....a false flag operation..a lie, a veil, a misrepresentation of the actuality of what I am accepting and allowing within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thought that is what you are suppose to do with points of inferiority and any other sort of weakness that comes up within one's mind and body experience here...as to make something up that you like better.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizing and understanding how to substantiate my vocabulary effectively as a structurally sound foundation within myself, as the words existing within me here in and as equality and oneness, from the perspective that words are innocent and do not require me to make up charges held against the words as them being polarized within the scope of positive, neutral and negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support a world of impotence, as a sort of powerlessness that is governed and controlled, ruled through and as my accepted and allowed fear...a sort of self-inflicted spitefulness as the lack of understanding of what Inferiority in fact means.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the sense of irony existed within and as word and world relationships here, within and as our oneness and equality, as that is the one point always here...our oneness and equality...and the irony of course is within and as our self-definition as how we imprison our very cells here at a resonant level as the scope of the entirety of ourselves as all of existence within and as our sound.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my potential to exist here as sound, has been suppressed, that I have been existing here within and as a sort of noise, a derivative of sound, a less than experience...the epitome of inferiority...rooted in and as self-abuse, being in conflict with myself and not even realizing how I am in fact perpetuating and prolonging a war within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the propaganda I would create in and as various forms of reaction/fear of myself being here within and as a point of reaction....where I would then create a disinformation agenda to quickly move into another character to hide the scope of the truth of myself, which has been the very initial reaction/fear within myself, as fear it self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fear itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a battle/conflict of epic proportions with Fear...believing Fear to be the ultimate enemy and point of separation that I must fight against as the very quick moving reactionary defense systems within my mind.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively I have been on the attack and the defense at the same time...the complete reflection of and as the military war machine here in all ways, penetrating the totality of my existence here.


When and as I see myself reacting in Inferiority/inadequacy, I stop and breathe, I take a moment to correctly identify the specifics of my reactionary defense/weakness.  I realize this is a weakness that requires specific self-correction because it is being revealed to me in my mind as a form of military defense and offense upon myself and all of existence here.  I realize it is my self-responsibility to come to terms within myself as a removing myself from the field of battle, where I release myself from participation within and as the enemy construct here. I see, realize and understand the solution of myself here at peace with all of existence as a point of agreement within and as my word relationships here, where I in fact am at ease with my word and world relationships here, where I mean no offense or defense.  I commit myself to the process of settling the terms of negotiation within myself as the vocabulary that exists within myself as a form of energetic dissonance.  I realize and understand the process of self-transformation as the self-direction of my existence within and as energetic information, to that of physical sound substance here as the physical universe here.  I realize, understand, and know the process of status correction here to be a labored physical process of nurturing myself back together again, from disharmony and disease to harmony here as the sound of music at ease.  I realize the substance of self-expression here is in fact our sound.  I commit myself to birthing myself as sound/life here.

Day 774 - I am a Blogger and Vlogger

 


I am a Blogger.

I am a Vlogger.

I blog and vlog as a point of support.

Support for myself and others in the world.

The starting point in blogging and vlogging is also a track record and statement of my process/progress in taking self-responsibility.

I see realize and understand the process of taking self-responsibility to be quite the process indeed.

Self-forgiveness is an integral part of my process of self-realization and self-responsibility here.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having to an extent not really substantiated the point within myself here as, "I am a blogger and I am a Vlogger."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist totally owning the point of Yes, I am a Blogger, and Yes, I am a Vlogger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the value I see within process Blogging and Vlogging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to have hidden a suppression within myself about being a blogger and a vlogger, as like not something I would want to admit to anyone, as like a point that I accepted and allowed to be a sort of weakness...weakness from the perspective of my accepted and allowed relationship within the point and the self-judgement and fear in relationship to others as the thinking that maybe i won't have the words to explain myself or that my words might be misconstrued.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist owning the expression and living of myself as a Blogger and Vlogger, as these points being integral to the lifestyle in which is me here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I feared to express myself to anyone and everyone as a blogger and vlogger, to have a willingness and openness to discuss and share. And within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear criticism, conflict, and ridicule.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been very fearful about opening myself up to others in my world to tell them about myself as a blogger and vlogger, where i would rather a person for the most part discover my blog or vlog as a result of them searching for something specific that i happened to write about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for rationalizing fears within my mind as reasoned justifications as to why I cannot have complete transparency about myself being a Blogger and Vlogger.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I have self-righteously fogged my clarity at times within a sort of realm of superiority like thought that has been perpetuated within my very own accepted and allowed inferiority and accepted and allowed self-judgement and inadequacy.  I realize and understand the ridiculousness within and as the sort of web of lies I have told myself to perpetuate peculiar points of dissonance/fear within myself.

When and as I see myself fearing to share who I am, I stop and breathe, I look at the point I am in fear about, I stand within in it, I allow myself to face it and transcend it in the moment, by in fact stopping myself to run away in reaction on a point of energy that comes up within me in a moment as the fear construction and suppression point.  I commit myself to trusting in my best judgement and discernment in my moment to moment communications.  I commit myself to slowing down within myself, to stop the tendency to run and hide within fear based behavior patterns where my speech/words become rushed and less than my best potential and expression and sharing of who I really am.

I commit myself to Blogging for life as a lifestyle point of who and how I am within the world here.

I commit myself to Vlogging as point just like Blogging.

I commit myself to sharing my process journey to life here within and as Blogging and Vlogging

I commit myself to reinvigorating my passion for Blogging and Vlogging.