Day 797 - Work, Physical

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor really question or in any way investigate the nature and expression of "Work".

Do I like work, Yes.

Work has been a point of sloppiness within myself in so many ways because Discipline has been a point of weakness within myself in relation to living "Work, Physical".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize this 'go with the flow automation of my mind' has not been supporting me to be physical and work here in ways that are great.  I realize i've been too flexible within my mind in the sense that Discipline has been lacking as my best discernment. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist the work required in exercising a plan effectively - where for example i make a plan the night before as a physical support in how i can best participate and support myself through my day....and then when the day is here, go into an experience of emotional discomfort and preoccupation that comes up in me where I am willing to give priority to this 'breaking news story' that has just aired inside myself as the networked consciousness channeling of myself as fear/energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I polarized discipline within myself to be preferenced based according to my consciousness energy definition...where the mind is dictator in that the discipline...or lack there of real living Discipline is biased towards getting the positive energy high.   I realize this is a distraction, and for myself has been a preoccupation i did not fully understand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how for the most part, I've feared myself here as Resistance.  Meaning, it's always been that part of me that i havent wanted to give credence to - 'the bad, the darker parts of self'.  I realize the experience of myself as Resistance has been mostly Inferiority, with little bits of superiority glossed on top from time to time to keep me fueled in and as mind automation - running, without regard for the implications, stress, strain, pressure, tension onto and into me as my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Resist myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand myself as 'Resistance'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the best expression of Resistance within and as myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fight Resistance within and as a point of good versus bad.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have limited my definition and understanding of the experience of Resistance inside my physical body.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect reflection into and as my relationship with Resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizing and understand the harmony in body and mind with Resistance.  Where it's the point of force within and as our movement...it's a point of will...like that of breath.  The resistance does not require to be intense pressure...however it can be.  I realize i created much intense pressure within my body as a result of not understanding the dynamics of myself within and as Resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mindfuck myself in relation to Resistance where I accept and allow myself to be Inferior to Resistance, while hiding in delusions of grandeur in my mind as the sort of distraction/preoccupation logic of making sense of non sense to superimpose excuses and justifications on to myself and others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how ive fueled the dissonance resistance movement within myself.  I realize in attempting to understand and live my best potential - An important emphasis in accounting specifically for my daily living words - specifically the Regard within and as Word.  I realize my strategy of understanding and learning has been through the consequence of suppression.  I realize this is an inferior approach to Life. Less than.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify suppression of myself in thinking that i always need to challenge myself in decision making....meaning i must always choose that which is difficult.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify suppression of myself in thinking that i always need to challenge myself in decision making....meaning i must always choose that which is difficult.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the stress and strain i have built up within me about decision making...where i've created a relied upon dependency on getting whipped by myself into movement/action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to negate the best expression of myself as Work, Physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how my best Play has suffered from inconsistency as a result of having constricting conditions on my ability to best manage and direct Work, Physical here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the best of myself in daily living myself in my physical body, Working.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not really understand nor realize the effort within and as myself as Work and Will.  I realize growth and maturity are the harvesting results of effectively cultivating the best expressions of resistance...meaning the words we give and gift to our selves as how we create solutions as our very own Instruction Manuals to share with others in how we moved,/breathed through a point of challenge and change

to be continued