I was reflecting last night...how I've caused myself the experience of much grief within acting foolish and making miss-takes.
I've been fighting against the point of Popularity, while at the same time seeking it. It's been a Suppression Reflection Status of UGLY.
I've had a hard time with Peer Pressure since i was a small child. Desiring and Seeking Attention in the form of Praise + (k)not wanting any criticism/negative feedback + really really feeling vitimized when and as I am criticized. And its bothered me so much.
My rebellious thinking has been to stop seeking praise and attention + to actually seek criticism/negative feedback..so that i can practice Humbleness and Humility in self-reflection.
The HUM in Humble has been supportive for me in recent days, as a point of Slowing Down and Breath Support as Patience to Pause for a Moment and Stop + See Here.
I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how self-compromising it is to Seek attention and praise.....that actually...that experience is coming from a starting point of being 'less than worthy'...like k(not) realizing Self/Source/StartingPoint/Creation from Within to Without. The bond being our Oneness and Equality as the simplicity in existing here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-compromise and degrade myself worth in desiring to accommodate others and win their approval ratings.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how the Grudge is always the Judge...and that self-honesty in experiencing my Vulnerability is actually the means to dispute resolution.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a secret judge that holds grudges.
I realize, understand and know the ridiculousness of holding onto stress/strain/pain...
I commit myself to processing my stress/strain/pain as it presents itself here...I realize in embracing what is here...what comes up...is the practical way to easily work through discomforts, uncertainty, fears and doubt.
