I bring attention to the awareness of little bits of movement, because I have noticed at different times where i have justified not participating within things...because it seems like too much.....and there is a resistance to moving into it. I have noticed i have created limitation for myself and actually prevented myself from doing things that I would ultimately like to create/build...because i have allowed myself to get discouraged by the end goal I see in my mind...and seeing myself as so far away from that point...and then mindfucking about the time it will take to get there...
To be Continued:
****Continuing****
02/01/2016 - - - - - - - - - - ------ ------ - --- - - ---------------- ------------- - ---------- - ----- > > > 01/01/2016
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how easy it is to change my mind when and as I am holding onto something in my mind that I see - I realize it's fine to see things - and that seeing everything here as it is without a filter is suppose to be normal for everyone - I realize it's quite silly of me for being ashamed of myself for being able to see so much.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the experience of 'discouraged'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding 'how' I left some of my Journey to Life Blogs, "undone" so to speak. I realize, understand and know - the fact that I created a solid base for myself here - made it really possible for me to simply traverse into a sweet line here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto a discouraged experience as a result/consequence of being lame.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding every single way in which I could be lame - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not totally realizing what it means to be lame.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making a big deal about making some simple self-corrections - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Expect a Much Higher Level of Standard of Excellence in terms of what it means to Live Words as a Consistent and Constant Voice of Support as Life Itself Here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that I've used others for my own benefit - where really I always felt like I had to be even better than I am because I couldn't see hardly anyone ever really being committed to doing anything all that much.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I was SHORTING Myself as like this TRADE AGAINST MYSELF....Like my Life BANK HERE is a LONG as FUCK TRADE - and self-compromise became the potential profit from and as an 'opportunity splurge' for a 'quick gain' a real 'win'. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the LOSS within and as a Win/Loss Equation and the consequences of supporting a Traitor War Mentality.
I commit myself to correcting the Traitor War Mentality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to encourage people fighting me as my way of developing a tremendous ability and capacity for profound response ability.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up at times within and as expectations - specifically when and as I would 'Expect Better' of a Mate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally when and as a Mate 'Just doesn't seem to understand me'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience heartache/sorrow/sadness/anger/irritation/frustration/disappointment/agony/disbelief/depression when and as I realize I am being judged by a Mate and they're not seeing their blind spot and they're mirroring it back to me - telling me I am fucked.
I commit myself to stopping to pity people.
I commit myself to simply have the balls to tell people what's what - when and as I see What's What/
I commit myself for accepting and allowing myself for "taking it easier on others than I would on myself" - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give less than my best support to my mates because I think sometimes that my mates are to weak and soft for me to speak so directly.
I commit myself to speaking direct.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my mates for my ability/inability to speak so directly the best support and assistance as life itself here.
I commit myself to giving the best life support as the living words here.
I commit myself to share my process journey of SPEAKING UP - and SPEAKING OUT -
I commit myself to share the Dangers of STAYING QUIET When One NEEDS TO SPEAK UP.
I Commit myself to myself first and foremost here - I commit myself to considering others only when and as I have effectively cared for myself first - I realize I co-exist here and that for me to be effective in co-existing here - it's important to me that I regard myself as my very own personal responsibility.
