I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor ever really investigating the extent to which i exist in and as physical addiction to energy by virtue of the fact that i have a physical body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for discounting the very physical substance of myself Here.
I forgive myself fro accepting and allowing myself to excuse the extent to which I have neglected to investigate my physical substance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that all physical substance Here is an extenstion/reflection of my physical substance here - one and equal as life itself here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really questioning my early formative years as to how my relationship with my physical substance was in fact Informed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really understanding the dynamics of consciousness energy onto my physical substance as like a 'sucking experience'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the emotional pain and trauma i experienced in my formative years that was suppressed/repressed because i did not have the vocabulary to specifically define the experience and I in fact trusted in my parents and everyone who entered my environment without even really understanding the nature and design of Permission to accept and allow abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I created a victim mentality in my formative years as self-defeated and that I just buried the burdens of my a'parent misfortunes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which Sugar was one of the most prominent sooothers for me in terms of easing my discomforts and burried suppression/repression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really investigating why it is that it is so accepted as common as simply not being able to remember too much of my existence here in reality before the age of 5 or 6 years of age.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really investigating the extent to which everything in this physical reality influences the substance of my physicality here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself to such a great extent that I made myself numb to experiencing the gravity of pain and discomfort in which i carry as burden on a daily basis as the consequence of untapped potential wasting away day by day due to my own neglect.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to polarize myself to such an extent that i didn't even know i was existing in polarity within myself on a physical level where my experiences are perceptions are tainted within and as the physical addiction to energy as my very substance here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I exist Here as Physical Substance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really questioning, 'what does it mean to substantiate and best care for my physical substance here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never really questioning my vocabulary to the extent to which the words I apparently know might in fact be tainted within and as my addiction to physical energy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really ever considering that deeper dimension of my mind...as my mind being my software to my body physical hardware could influence and perpeutate a sort of closed cycle feedback loop within and as the consumption of myself as the junkie being junked over the years as my physicality is depleted as a result of the very beast of burden that lives within me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I've been addicted on a physical level to the low, medium and high energy experiences of myself to such an extent that it's all par for the course in terms of coping with the suppression that exists as my univestigated earliy formative year traumas where i did not in fact have an adequate vocabulary developped.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for never ever really considering the consequences of not taking the time to make sure each and every single letter of myself is refined...fine tuned....remediated and in fact stands as a specifically programmed into the flesh sound alignment here. I realize this world is a physically sound reality and that my every word...my every move influences the very nature and design of physical substance here. I realize, understand that abuse cannot exist unless I allow it within myself - that the substance of life itself cannot be abused - only mindconsciousness sytems can be abused in fact.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the audacity to judge another in any way whatsoever - thining i know better based on the knowledge and information i have within my body as a physical energy addiction system that the mind consciousness system utilizes the ineffective vocabulary of myself to accelerate the feeding frenzy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that i am better than I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project shit onto others who are in fact expressing their raw in the moment freestyle expressions as the infinite here moment of breath - the very inbetween moment as the - timeless time between consciousness of fear here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the source of physical energy addiction as fear itself here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a form of self-denial where i've been blissfully ignorant of my own in house keeping as the very garden i tend to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which i make sense of things from a corrupted way of thinking - that 'my way' of thinking isn't even in fact my own - because i never took the time to in fact make sure every letter of the alphabet and so too every word of my vocabulary is in fact aligned as structurally sound support here.
I realize and understand that this is a process of self-realization an ong going day by day fine tuning of sorts as i purify the substance of myself here as life itself here - fleshed out in and as the physical here - the epitome of birthing/grounding myself here as life in fact - matter of fact - as the very matter to the core - the source here.
I realize the experience of panic comes up often on a deeper dimension of mind as my way of going into the physical energy addiction that i justify as necessary in order to read effectively my environment because my reading ability is tainted within and as an inferior vocabulary.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss the critical nature of vocabulary in terms of my effectiveness as what it in fact means to live as a self-responsible human being.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to half ass my words to the extent that i will believe others who demonstrate a far superior vocabulary and capacity to process here to me - to be in fact fucked and the real abuser here - when in fact the inverse is true. I realize this isn't a point of self-defeat but simply a point of recognition as to where I am at within and as my process journey to life here.
I realize that like breath - process is a bit byb bit process here - as i purify myself in and as thought, word and deed. I realize, understand and know that there's no time off of process so to speak - that process is a 24/7 playwright as the very self-love here as my work is made visible in the sharing expressions of myself as what it means to flesh out - birth - my best response abilities.
I realize as I am first responsible for tending to my own nest...my own burdens before i can in fact really assist or tell anyone effectively what it is in fact they must do - i realize that so long as i have unresolves issues inside myself - my effectiveness in supporting others here is limitted. I realize that even though my effectiveness may be limitted it is not in vain - as process is always a 24/7 self reflection here and it's a matter of fact playwright as the author of and as my creation here.
I realize that within and as the recognition of my creation here - that extends outward as the flowing expression from within myself as the process goes from without to within and from within to without as the very follow through swing of sorts as what it means to live and move here s as the infinite moment of breath.
I realize, understand that my physical capacity for work is much greater than i give myself credit for - that as the mind is understood, known and in fact utilize as optimum software support to assist the best running / working of and as my physical body/substance here - i am operating in a sort of superior way to the way i previously existed here - and within this there's a responsibility to share the gold so to speak as the standing awareness to best support each one to unlock their utmost potential as what it in fact means to be physically grounded in and as the physical here.
I realize, understand and know that if I haven't in fact taken the time to develop and refine my vocabulary for me alone - and so to check and re-check my vocabular for any and all necessary remediations - my words to a certain extent are tainted - and I am simply in the process of daily correcting my missalignments as flaws within and as my best word regards.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the similarities to the experience of sex from a mind perspective and the way in which the physical addiction to energy in fact works. I realize, understand and know this to be an eventual moment of 'shortage of breath' where there's even in many instances what seems like a delivberate shortage of breath - where I recogonize i am going into a yawn and i do nothing about it - i realize when and as i go into a yawn...it's an indicator that i haven't been breathing effectively and my mindconsciousness system is about to do a reset - rebooting - which is a compounding of system integration as the very feeding off my physical susbtance here.
I realize, understand and know that when and as I have difficulty focusing myself effectively and efficiently i am in fact in a physical energy addiction. I realize my ability to focus and listen and reflect attentively is critical.
To be Continued
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