Day 233 Addictions Character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to particpate within the addictions character as like just one more time or ok I'll change this point later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within self postponement as a mechanism feeding addictions character personality.

I forgive myself for not realising and considering and in fact I hiding the truth of myself within addictions as like not wanting to see me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the sadness within and as addiction as like total energetic possession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create justifications and excuses and reasons as like the mechanics as ways in which to keep addictions sustained and systematically charged within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought, Ya I know I have some addictions and I;m just not ready to let go of these addictions yet, I'll do it later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have physically stressed my body as consequence of perpetuating addictive character personalities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to know what is best and not live what is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stagnate self expansion as consequence of giving into fear as addiction is essentially fear driven/energetically charged.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to profess love within addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuel addiction with memories of past experiences that I have defined as great as like the most positive feeling experiences.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the nergies at play within memories as like self definitions based in and as polarity frictions and therfore within this understanding know that all my memories are deceptive because my vision, clarity has been tainted as consequence of accepting and allowing judgment as polarity charged friction and conflict within the mind as positive feelings and negative emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to judge the challenges I am faced with as I walk process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the challenges I am faced with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowiing myself to forget about the ridiculousness of being overwhelmed with a new point that surfaces within process as like being surpirsed and taking offense to the new point of exposure that I had previously been totally oblivious and therfore indenial of.

I forgive myself for not realising the simplicity as the easy way to walk process as allowing myself to always examine the ridiculousness of a point to expose myself as the joke as the funny and to therofore utilise laughter as the best medicine in assisting and supporting myself to change that which must be re-alligned so that I am alligned as physical structural sound equality and oneness here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck with myself within points of opportunity for self transformation as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and consider the greediness the addiction character as like perpetuated by self righteous indignation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowiing myself to punish myself for a few moments as like emotional reactions upon seeing the brutality of my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted always facing the brutality of myself withiout judgement so as not to take my shit personally...yet within this not accept and allow myself to use not taking my shit personally as an excuse or justification to continue fucking around as like believing I can fuck around without consequence because I am not taking my shit seriously.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a bad joke as like fucking brutality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide within positivity out of fear of getting to down on myself that I won't be able to pick myself up and swim.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how when I give into temptation on a single point...I compromise many other seemingly unrelated things as like a residual consequential play out.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the synamics of self sabotage within and as letting one thing slide...and the resulting consequential ramifciations of letting even just one point slide under the radar when the point could have been dtected and given a proper thorough investigation so to purify and release on separation from and as the point in question as like self mergine with the question as the answer and solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to glorify points of process so as to make things all cool as like thinking and believing that even though I participated in a point of fuckedness it was kind of cool that I gave myself that experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create ridiculous perspective within my mind as like using my imagination within and as self interested righteous greed.

Day 232 "To Start is a Good Start"

So I just read Gian's Journey to Life blog today and the title was, "To Start is a Good Start".  Here is the link:  http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-269-to-start-is-good-start.html

Within Gian's blog he makes some great points about the simplicity of self movement as making things happening as like generating results, as like being effective with self movement by taking that first step without delay...as like the more first steps you can take is the more steps in the right direction you are taking.

Gian talks about some personal experience with regards to work, thinking about how he can make lots of money to support Desteni and the transitioning into and as a world that is best for all life here. I relate and identify with Gian's words as I have had the same thoughts. Gian also makes note how postponing immediate action when he has a task to do like for example cutting the lawn...leads to stress. I understand and agree with what he is saying here...as many times I have pushed back immediate action on a point...only to get to the point later...and have created stress upon myself as consequence of facing a a deadline and having squandered many minutes earlier about thinking about the task at hand and similar disregarding the importance of immediate action.

An importan point to see with Gian's and my sharing here is the great value in not waiting to share a point that one has to share. For example...I read Gian's blog as I had a few free minutes in my day...I mean it wasnt planned to read Gian's blog per say...I went to the Destonians website and picked his blog from the top of the list as it had just been submitted and his title caught my attention.  What I'm getting at is that holding back thoughts and considerations is not real practical as assistance and support can come from sharing thoughts and considerations. I read Gian's blog and then received a text message about some extra part time work that was being offered to me. I wasnt sure if I was interested in the work...But I thought, "to start is a good start" and so I inquired about more info into the specific details of the work. I was then told to contact so and so...and I had a thought for a moment as like ah I can do this later....and then I remembered and said, "to start is a good start" and I thought about Gian's blog sharing and the point of trying things out by taking those first starting steps and if things don't work out, fine...then try something else,..no big deal. So I called the guy who I didn't know but was referred to from a friend and explained who I was and what  I knew about the part time job opportunity. I am now meeting with this dude tomorrow morning at office headquarter for a meet and greet and to get a feel for what the job entails within the immediate work environment.  The dude also told me this is part time now...but could lead to full time work later. I told the dude I have a contract commitment outwest starting towards the end of April....the dude seemed kind of impressed...and still wanted to meet and chat...and so I am going in to explore this money making opportunity.

"To Start is a Good Start" as like if there is a WILL there is a way as the will is the way as willing a way forward as to carve a path as to create an oppneing as to give self opportunities by making the most out of the moments here.

"To Start is a Good Start" is like working out as a means of physical support as like ok, doing push ups as a means of physical self suport and stability and strenght training....at first you start with one...and then you build on that one...anddo another one...and you go from there, building off the initial starting point...as the start is a step in the right direction....a start is a step in self direction as even if the start as the the step doesnt lead to further steps taken in that direction...that direction is now known as not the way forward...so as to remove the unknown variables by walking the steps forward one by way...and realising therfore when to take steps in other directions as means of firection self direction....and directing self direction as what is best for all life starts with a start as, "To Start is a Good Start."

I really like this saying, "To Start is a good Start." Simple and practicle self directions as like the recipe for self perfection. It's funny because within Gian's blog he acknowledges how he realised the missing ingredient within his process over the last 4 and a half years as being dedicated to creating a world that is best for all Life here.

'To start is to start' is definitely a key ingredient in walking process as what's best for all life here.

Thanks Gian, I agree, to start is a good start!

A link to the Destonians web page where I found Gian's blog and the place where many Destonian's share cool words of assistance and supoport is: http://destonians.com/

Day 231 Legalising All Drugs

Problem:

Illegal drugs and organized crime....also known as the war on drugs.  War on drugs is a waste of humans resources and potential. Many lives lost due to the war on drugs. Drugs exist as like some form of medicine...and there are devasting consequences to not regulating the qualities of medicines available here as drugs. Drugs are compromised in their quality ofen to increase profit margins as a means of making more money/profits. Drug education is less than stellar within the education system largely due to the fact that there is a war on drugs. Defining drugs as bad and therfore illegal is not an effective way in producing a society/world that is best.

Looking at the money movement in relation to illegal drugs, there is some obvious absurd ridiculousness being accepted and allowed. Illegal drugs generate HUUUUUUUUUGE amounts of money...to big to even calculate....there are some various estimates...but the actually amount of untaxed money being made as a result of the movement of illegal drugs is not known because their is no taxes accounting for illegal drugs...as commodities that generate HUUUUUUUUGE profits without any tax deductions. 

Consider all the money that isnt founding programs of assistance and support for human beings on planet earth.

Consider all the money that has and is in the process of being spent on the war on drugs. Notice the effectiveness of the war on drugs.  The war on drugs has proven very effective in perpetuating the movement of HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE amounts of untaxed dollars. The war on drugs has not been at all effective in preventing the flow of illegal drugs.

Note, countless lives have been compromised as result of drugs being illegal. Consider all the people incarcerated for drug related charges.  Consider all the people murdered in drug related incidents. Consider all the people who over dosed on illegal drugs due to the product being of an inferior quality.  Consider the amount death prevention possible if proper education and instructions about drug consumption existed. Consider how many children are without a parent as consequence of parent being imprisoned or killed in drug related activities.

Solution:

Legalising the production, distribution and consumption of all drugs.


Reward:

Organized crime drastically reduces.

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE amounts of funding for projects of assitance and support for the well being of humanity at a global level due to accounting as a means of taxing all drugs as a taxable commodity that taxes go towards assiting and supporting human civilization.

Reduction of shitty pharamaceutical drugs being used as prescriptions with a plethora of side affects.

The best quality of drugs available.

The best drug research and education available for everyone.

No more wasted tax dollars funding a never ending war on drugs. Which means more money available for projects that can actually benefit humanity in a way which is best.

More legitimate business opportunities.

Less boarder crossing delays.

Less imprisonment.

Less drug related death.

Less poverty.

Day 230 What Did I learn Today?

To Start, I listened to the Eqafe recording http://eqafe.com/i/mmcdonald-drifting-off-the-causes-and-correction-reptilians-part-138

Within this recording the point was mentioned about on a daily basis in writing, making a point of making it known what was learned today. This point resonated with me because often I make a mental note of ok, I learned this and just leave it at that...instead of sharing in writing the point I learned...also to leave a track record of my daily learnings.

What Did I Learn Today:

Emphasis strengthened on the point of not taking people's actions seriously as to get offeneded and go into a state of reaction as like taking people's reactions personally. Example, I was teaching many people how to ski today. Some of the people I was teaching how to ski were quite satisfied exploring the skills they had on the ski slopes and were not at all interested in learning new ski skills at the moment...like they needed to understand the skills they had a little more...or were more than content playing with what they got. Within teaching I want to progress the student as much as possible. I realised within this approach, that sometimes the student only wants to go so far with the progression at one time....and even though I would like to progress the student as far as possible....the progression cannot happen if the student isn't open to further progression.

Sometimes it's good to take a break and concentrate on something else. Example: Trying to cram so much knowledge within myself in working through university studies....after awhile I am not absorbing the info as quickly as initial rate of knowledge absorbtion and taking in the info becomes almost like a battle.....This is indication/indicator time of..,ok lets take a break and do something else so I can come back to studies later with fresh eyes. Lady I was teaching skiing who I shared thhis experience with, informed me how runners in training would go for 10  minutes and than walk for 1 minute and how even sometimes within races.....when a runner was quite fatigued and therfore stopped running and went into a walk for a few moments...was able to recooperate much quicker and return to a higher body performance than the individual who was fatigued and did'nt take a break but just tried to keep going. Emphasis of this learning here is that switching gears so to speak or shifting attention as a means of assistance and support is beneficial as like more can be accomplished within the same time frame by giving self opportunities to rest as like changing the pace of engagement/activity.

Blame is like a slippery slope as like a trick as like a fearful path to take as like being fear possessed and therfore trying to coverup self accepted and allowed inadequacy with deflection/projection away from self as like to shift attention aways from self as the root cause of consequence. Example, I hit the snooze on my alarm today and as consequence was a few minutes late getting to the ski hill...in my backchat I thought about blaming my girlfriend for the delay...as like telling my boss I was late because I had to pick my girlfriend up on the way to the hill. I realised the point of ridiculousness within this and faced the music so to speak as I walked through the consequence of hitting the snooze and being a few minutes late for my private ski lesson this morning.

Utilising the opportunity to talk as a means of opening up the point of sharing self expression is cool with and brings about unknown potential. Example: Riding up the ski lift with student: pushing the point of engagment through communication as like taking the time to get to know the individuals on a personal level as what they like to do when they are not skiing...their profession....how's school going....sharing jokes, silly sounds, sharing about me, asking questions, listening to their story.....emphasis here is an openess to giving and receiving as like giving like I like to receive. Communication is fun and cool. I am grateful for all the communication opportunities I have while working at the ski hill teaching children and adults how to ski.

Self support in communication as a point of self direction as assistance and support....as I speak words of assistance and support as equality and oneness I assist and support myself and others as equal and one as you is me and me is you. Example, Family dinner conversations....moments and opportunites come about to share....sharing as assistance and support is only available when self is not possessed or consumed by reactions as taking shit personally as like reacting to people's reactions. LOTS of cool and fun opportunities within self expressive communication to play with what one says as living words when one give's one the gift of being present within not accepting and allowing judgement about the company one is in the presents of....and notice the presents as being  in the company of presents...like people's presents. And again.....it's all a mirrored self reflection here.

I like eating salad as a lunch...or even eating just some lettuce is cool support for my body. Also...my body doesn't require as much food as sometimes I think I need...start with less and go back for more after finishing food and having atleast one glass of water if not satidfied...however I found that taking smaller portions is something I am capable of doing....and allowing myself to savour my food a little more...as like I don't have to eat my food as fast as I can out of fear that I will not be able to finish all the food I have taken if I don't eat super quickly...like I only have so many minutes to get in the food before my body is like that's it.

Best not to criticize girlfriend, especially when she's about to give me a blow job.

Day 229 The Ridiculousness of Professional Sports

Problem: Professional sports exist as big business entertainment with no real regard for human dignity and integrity.

If we look at the word "sport" and consider what synonyms exist for the word "sport" as a verb and a noun we will notice an interesting thing. Synonyms for the word "sport" as a noun include: fun, game, play, amusement. Synonyms for the word "sport" as a verb include: play and frolic. (source google definitions)

The point I am exposing about sports here is that the nature/spirit of Sport is physical self expression as to play and frolic about as like game playing amusement.

The Spirit and Nature of Sport is lost within our current capitalistic system at the professional level. It's a really bad joke as absurd ridiculousness.  Physical well being is tainted with abuse for moments of glory as like the mentality in professional sports is all about winning because 'money' is synonymous with 'winning'.

The ridiculousness is exstensive within professional sports at the moment. Professional sports are perpetuated by fanaticism.  Professional sports being perpetuated by fanaticism is no different than the ridiculousness of religion/spirituality.

Lets take a moment here and consider that our accepted and allowed almighty God of existence is MONEY. Meaning things happen because of GOD...the will of God....I mean...the will of MONEY.

Ok, so, MONEY moves people as like it's all God's will...and God is Money...so everything is determined according to the wrath of Money/God.

Professional Sports exist as Money Competitions. Professional Sports exist as God Competitions as like who is the biggest Ego of them all...as who is the best/winner....notice the best/winner never remains the best/winner....it's but a blip in time as the moment of glory....and the glory is glorified by all religious lunatics...I mean, fans...fanatics...people here in search and hope their preferred chosen one will be rise to the top as being like a temporary messiah in time as sharing the message and praise of adoration to all the fans...as giving thanks to all the fans as this would not be possible without the support of all the fans which it is important to note that fans are fanatics which is.....absurd ridiculousness.

Did you know that people are dieing every day of starvation because there losers? Really...because Life has been phrased as a Game...and if you're not a winner...you're a fucking loser...and Winner's of Sports win at the professional level by beating the shit out of the other team...and the win comes at the expense of the loser...like the messiahs cannot exist and be worshiped without all the worshippers/fanatics/losers...you know those that are just genetically inferior to those of us who are genetically superior....you know kind of like slavery.

Did you know the #1 ranked professional golfer in the world, Rory Mcllroy just signed a 10 year endorsement contract with Nike for 200 Million Dollars in American Currency? You know Nike right? Nike is one of the kings of sweatshop labour....where genetic losers slave away for a couple dollars a day making Rory's clothes and other winner's clothes, like the people who aren't deemed total losers by God/Money but really worship Mesiah's like Rory.

Isn't it cool that we humans have collectively allowed ourselves to place different monetary values upon ourselves....like we say ok this guy Rory and this guy Tiger get to be big winners....like such big winners that their winning's is going to come at the expense of 20 million losers....like you know....20 million people can have a terribly shit experience here on earth so that Rory and Tiger can be regarded and worshipped as Golf Gods. Fucking cool Right? I know my fucking sarcasm is brutal.

The Facts that make up our Global Labour force are beyond brutal...and Professional Sports assist and support the perpetuation of serious fuckedness within our shared existence.


Solution: "Equal Money Capitalism" see link for more info http://wiki.destonians.com/Equal_Money_System

Equal Money Capitalism could also read as Equal God Capitalism as each being is valued as an equal and one god of existence as all life being regarded and dignified so that never again do we create a winning at the expense of losing per diem where starvation is justified as the will of God/Wrath of Money.


Reward: Planet Earth Becomes Planet Awesome as Awe-So-Me as awesomeness in all ways that are awesomeness as beings are most excellent to each other in all ways as All Life is regarded and dignified within the principle of equality and oneness.

Sports become available for everyone to play.

No more pressure to perform in sports. Losing a game doesn't mean not becoming a saviour.

Everyone is a Messiah.

Poverty will no longer exist.

Team Life Plays the Game of Life for the first time as the Game of Life that is BEST FOR ALL LIFE as ALL LIFE WIN as No LIFE is Disregarded snd therfore All Life is Utilised as Greatest Potential...as All Life Participants here are Part of Team Life and the Greatest Potential of Team Life as All as One as Equal is like wow this is awe-so-me!

Day 228 Offended By Univeristy Info

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the course material for my university law classess as being dumb, stupid, retarded, wow, like I cannot believe the amount of rhetoric and semantics and dumb ass'ness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking offense as like being personbally insulted at the quality of inofrmation I am required to work with while particpating in finishing my university law classes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for entertaining backchat as like fuck this bullshit I don't want to give any more time and attention to this shit.  I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the bullshit within myself that I am giving attention to as my backchat acceptances and allowances that are fucking with me and causing me problemes within moving through university studies with effortless ease.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing myself as superior to university studies and thus taking shit personally when I see that the information is not based in common sense as what is best for all life...and is made out to be logically flawed based upon competing self interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I have to like what I am reading about to actually move through the work and particpate within it effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having temper tantrums within myself while attempting to work through university law class work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting angry, irritated and frustrated with the information I am working with in my university law studies.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the ridiculousness of reacting to information as like being possessed and put under a form of self hypnosis as like a spell being cast upon myself as consequence of my reactions to the information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving my power away to feelings and emotions about information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking and believeing that I must agree with the information I am working with in order to be effective in working with the information here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing myself to be separate from the information here as like being better than the information here na dabove and beyond the bullshit that is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for struggling with the point of equality and oneness with regards to university studies and moving through information within the education system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being so sensitive to information that I can be influenced by information.

I forgive mysel for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by information in a way that is not supportive as like reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get emotional about information,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking information personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not allowing an equal and one relationship with the law material I am required to understand and work through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being my own worst enemy as like creating conflict within myself in working within university law studies.

I realise the ridiculousness of my actions as like self inducing reactional hypnosis to knowledge and information.

I realise the information is the information and reacting to the information as like taking offense to what the information is...is ridiculously absurd because that is accepting and allowing a point of conflict as like accepting and allowing oneself to feel attacked and threatened and hurt by what is said as the information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling attacked and threatened and sadened by the university law information I am reading.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting depressed working with the university law information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving my power of self support as stability away to emotional reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgmental perceptions about university law studies.

I realise the ridiculousness in reacting to the course material...as the course material is the course material and me reacting and taking course material personally is just a ridiculous self induced mind fuck.

I realise that self inducing a mind fuck as consequence of reacting to university law material is absurd ridiculousness.

I realise inducing a temper tantrum within myself as consequence to being required to work with university law information is absurd ridiculousness.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself reacting to information....I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of taking offense to knowledge and information as like absurd ridiculousness.

Whena and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to have a temper tantrum within myself about the law material I am reading, I stop and breathe and allow myself a luagh at my own expsense as like  exposing a moment of ridiculousness as like oh shit I realise how ridiculous I am behaving...I am grateful to catch myself in the moment of ridiculousness so I can stop breathe and laugh as the cure to ending ensuing ridiculousness.

When and as I see myself existing within a relationship of conflict friction towards university law studies, I stop and breathe and accept and allow myself to stop the self induced battle and war...and I take a moment to smile/giggle/laugh at myself  and therfore I call a truce as equalizing myself with my university law studies...so that no separation/friction/conflict exists within me and my university law studies.

I commit myself to stop reacting to  knowledge and information.

I commit myself to not taking knowledge and information personally.

I commit myself to no longer be hypnotized within reactional state of possessedness to university law course material.

I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of taking offense to knowlegde and informtation.

I commit myself to stop being offensive/defensive and neutral in sharing knowledge and information.

I commit myself to equality and oneness within knowledge and information.

Day 227 Univeristy Resistances

I'm writing out my relationship towards my university studies as a means of giving myself more clarity and direction as focus and discipline within my studies.

At the moment, I care about my university studies in the sense that I want to complete my undergrad degree. I fear losing money invested into completing degree. I have trouble getting immediately engaged with university studies. University studies seem like a chore more than a joy.  I would prefer doing almost anything else than university studies. I get overwhelmed at all the readings and assignmnets I am required to complete...and sometimes I react to the amount of work that is required of me and I look for shortcuts as ways to get the work done quicker. I think about working on my university studies daily...but I have a hard time of actually working on my  university studies daily. I am holding a bit of a grudge against my university studies. I have been making a big deal about my university studies and have created difficulty in time efficiency with regards to appropriate amount of attention to studies and other things as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to give into temptations as distractions as any and all ways to advert attention else where. I feel like I am trying to force attention on university studies...and that schooling has always been something that I've had to really try and force upon myself to give attention to it...as like I've created strain and stress about moving through school work.

Ok, Im going to move through my above writing with the tool of self forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to finish my undergrad degree out of fear of not completing my undergrad degree and disapointing my parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose money if I don't complete my undergrad degree.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing stress on my university particpation in relation to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a love hate relationship with regards to university studies as I actually like the work some what when I allow myself to get engaged in what I am doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing hatred and resentment at society as a whole with specific regards to the education system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating myself and projecting blame as separate from myself outwards at society as like the education system being separate from myself.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that I have created trouble for myself in terms of getting engaged immediately within my university work because I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually want to immediately get engaged in univsrity studies and that I in fact hope there is some sort of way for me to avoid university studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating the thought of hope that there is in fact a way for me to avoid my university studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting university to the word chore and for accepting and alllowing myself for defining chore as like work I don't really want to do and that I have resistance towards chores as I have accepted and allowed myself to define chores as unfortunate negative experiences that are required to correct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing the word chore and for connecting university studies to the word chore.

I forgive myself for accpepting and allowing the word joy to be separate from the word chore due to accepting and allowing myself for polarizing the word chore.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowiing myself for mind fucking with myself in the sense that I think about things that I would prefer doing rather than what I am committed to doing...as I realise thinking about things I prefer doing more than school work serves no practical purpose when I made a self commitment to finish my undergraduate university studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get overwhelmed by the work that is required of me to complete at university.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for stressing myself out about my university studies by connecting the money relationship to my studies in the sense of accepting and allowing the fear of loss as possible consequence of fucking up my studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for worrying about completing my studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability to move through my university studies effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a polarized relationship with my university studies as like placing my university studies beneath myself as like to project myself as more than my university studies and my university studies as inferior to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a punishing relationship of avoidance and betrayal in relationship to my university studies.

I forgive myself for not realising that I don't maximize my time when I accept and allow myself  to distract myself from my studies because those moments of accepting and allowing initial distractions are moments where I commited and dedicate my time to working on university studies...and therefore by squandering that time by going into temptation as distractions...I am losing out on free time in the future because I will have to come back to the point that I am neglecting in the moment.

I forgive myself for not realising that I have been self sabotaging myself within my relationship to university studies in that I punish myself by taking away free time and leisure activites away from myself by not being dilligent and discipline in my focus and keen assertiveness to the task at hand as moving through reading material and assignments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the material I am required to read as like defining the material as too much as like allowing myself to be annoyed and irritatted and dissapointed with the amount of material I am required to move through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding a grudge against my university studies and withinin this I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that I have been holding a grudge against myself as consequence of not realising myself wihtin and as university studies as the living participant here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for  making a big deal about university studies as like this monumental challenge of a mountain that I am required to climb and there is no incentive for climibing the mountain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I need incentives in order to do things...and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted seeing the points of self perfections as means of self improvement that I can take and utilise from my relationship with university studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dimishing the importance of school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making completion of final university credits extremely difficult.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving into backchat as a means of temptation as backdoor routes of paths of avoidance that I can follow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving into temptation as backdoor routes within my mind that are based on self itnerest within and as polarized energies which is a direct result of accepting and allowing fear possessions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing strees and strain upon myself as consequence of accepting and allowing an abusive relationship with university studies and schooling in general.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having regarded schooling as me against the system as like refusing and refuting brainwashing indoctrination.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for lowballing my universty studies in the sense that I have not been the most efficient with my time here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having pissed away many moments of my existence...operating at less than maximum potential and efficiency.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for slacking off on my university work and fucking with myself in the process.

I realise the ridiuclousness of my actions and my accepted and allowed behaviour relationships with regards to univeristy studies and the completion of my university studies.

I realise the absurd stupidity in wasting time giveing into temptation as like backdoor paths of avoidance because I will have to come back to the point eventually and thus I am just wasting my time by accepting and allowing myself to avoid direct immediate resposnibility in the moment.

I realise creating stress and strain towards university studies is dumb...and I no longer wish to particpate in dumb participations.

I realise I am capable and able to finish university studies with focus and dillignece in self discipline and that I can actually enjoy the process of walking university studies into completion.

I realise I am completing my university studies for me and it's not about my parents or anybody else...and that In fact as I move me for me...I stand as what is best for everyone.

I realise worrying about losing money invested into school is ridiculous because worrying leads to more worrying and worrying isnt a fun or cool way to spend even a second of one's time.

I commit myself to allowing myself to enjoy process of completing university studies.

I commit myself to stopping any and all distractions that come up as resistances to completing university studies.

I commit myself to making completion of university studies number one priority for myself.

I commit myself sharing my process through the completion of my university studies.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself squandering time I set aside for univeristy studies...I stop and breathe and return to my studies and realise the ridiculousness of self sabotage in squandering time as like missing and wasting opportunities of self change as self realisation and self correction and obvious self enjoyment as practical living self expression as the solution to Life birthed from the physical.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to talk shit about university studies...i stop and breathe and realise the ridiculousness of projecting blame as being lame.

When and as I see myself to loooking to escape self responsibility to completing university studies, I stop and breathe and face myself responsibilities as a means of nurturing my nature as assistance and support as equality and oneeness and what's best for all life here