Day 202 Christmas Gifts

I forgiving myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created a positive relationship towards christmas because ever since I was a child I was given gifts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that christmas is something that will always be celebrated and worshiped as an almight holdiay and the most wonderful time of the year because I was indoctrinated to believe this to be true.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I was spend so much money at christmas time because people will be spending so much money on me at christmas time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling trapped and obliged to take part in christmas activities because I am surrounded by christmas particpations within my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to refute any and all particpations within christmas activities because I like receiving gifts from people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for liking christmas because I am greedy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate greed within myself by particpating in christmas gift exchanges.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for having created conflict about christmas and towards people who like and praise christmas as the most wonderful time of the year.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to the insanity of christmas celebrations and the consumerism that is closely related and ingrained within christmas traditions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing feelings of obligation as like compliance to act in accordance to christmas traditions as belierfs that if been indoctrinated within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been a real capitalist about christmas as like looking to buy gifts that are on sale that appear to cost more then I actually paid for them and to also hope that I receive more than I spent.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having perpetuated selfishness within myself in accordance to liking christmas because I receive more than I give.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to give people things they may not want for christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to give people eqafe products as gifts because they might have reactions to receiving such gifts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to instigate reactions within people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking personally peoples reactions to receiving certain gifts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to receive lots of gifts at christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created resistance about christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the disgusting nature that is perpetuated within human beings at christmas time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to expose all the bullshit surrounding christmas participations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I am required to get certain people gifts at christmas based on some sort self created value scale of entitlement and or because I believe a persone might get me something for christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be labeled as a scrooge and a cheap if I don't particpate in buying people gifts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having attached a negative enrgery charge to the word scrooge and to the word cheap.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that being regarded as cheap or a scrooge is a bad thing that I should try to avoid at all costs. all costs...lol.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the ridiculousness of trying to avoid being labeled as cheap at all costs...as like the ridiculousness of buying my positive compliments so to speak as like to want and desire to be spoken to in a way that strokes my ego so that I comfortable in mental masturbation activity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to ruin christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling obliged to participate within family christmas celebrations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to let go of family christmas celebrations out of fear of judgement and condemnation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to call out all points of stupidity associated with christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating stupid within and as christmas celebrations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made a big deal about christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having held onto feelings/emotions about christmas as either postive or negative shit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a love/hate relationship with christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having placed myself in conflict with people people who love christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to instigate exposure of the ridiculousness as like absurd stupidity about christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to offend and hurt people's feelings by exposing the mental insanity of perpetuating the anual christmas celebrations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for playing along with the ridiculousness of christmas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself taking the ridiculously insane absurdities that exist here within our shared reality personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring and wanting and hoping for instant realizations into the aburd ridiculousness of global participations here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking of myself as righteously superior to those who don't seen the perpetuated fuckedness in christmas celebrations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mentally masturbating about christmas.

I realise the ridiculousnes absurdity of christmas celebrations.

I realise christmas has been indoctrinated as a mass consumerism holiday that perpetuates the inequality between the haves and the have nots.

I realise accepting and allowing feelings or emotions about christmas is a mind fuck that can be avoided by not allowing myself to go there in indulging within reactions about christmas as a conflict between good and evil.

I realise it will take time for all of humanity to realise the ridiculous absurdity of chirstmas.

I realise taking things personally is a ridiculous mind fuck that can be avoided by realising the ridiculousness of taking things personally.

I realise reporting the ridiculousness of christmas is a cool point of self support.

I realise I am capable and able of not accepting and allowing myself to feel obliged to oblige feelings/emotions.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to mind fuck myself about christmas and specifically chirstmas participations, I stop and breathe and allow myself to prevent the perpetuation of a consequential mind fuck by reacting to reactions in regards to christmas celebrations.

When and as I see myself taking the ridiculous absurd stupidity of christmas personally, I stop and breath...and I accept and allow myself to have a laugh at the ridiculous absurd stupidity of christmas participations.

Day 201 The Benefit of Doubt

The benefit of Doubt.  Give me...Give them the benefit of Doubt.

Ok, So I have been holding the point close within myself and kind of monitoring it as I have had my doubts about the benefits of doubt. lol.  It's kind of funny how in looking at this point I have had a tendency to try and define the point within polarized energy as being either a positive thing or a negative thing.  Also the point of doubt coming up within myself as like starting to doubt what makes sense because that is not part of my already programmed conditioning.

The benefit of doubt seems to be a mind fuck.  Like, imagine going to the hospital for a surgery and the doctor says to you, "do you have the benefit of doubt?.....Tell you what, let me give you the benefit of the doubt and therfore assume you are telling me the truth even though it looks like you may have taken drugs that could comprimise the surgery....not to worry because we will be exercising the benefit of doubt as like a self defense mechanism/coping tool as a way of avoiding to face possible conflict as brutal truth and self responsibility."

Doubt is a shitty benefit. (see later within post how a shitty benefit can be utlised as a point of self support in etablishing self trust as the starting point of self trust starts with self and releasing self doubt)

Doubt definitions:

  verb (used with object)

1.

to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe.

2.

to distrust.

3.

Archaic. to fear; be apprehensive about.

verb (used without object)

4.

to be uncertain about something; be undecided in opinion or belief.

noun

5.

a feeling of uncertainty about the truth, reality, or nature of something.

6.

distrust.

7.

a state of affairs such as to occasion uncertainty.

8.

Obsolete . fear; dread.

 

Reference: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/doubt

 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using doubt in deceptive ways as like a self defense mechanism as like to shift responsibility away from myself as like to avoid seeing with clarity the total situation.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing doubt to be a benefit that is in the best interest of all life here.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the benefit of doubt can only exist when there are trust issues....and trust issues can only exist due to lack of self trust.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting and questioning my self trust as like being hesitant about trusting myself and therfore fearing to trust myself within decisions and resposnibilities as like self commitments.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing self trust.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having looked for comfort within the benefit of doubt as like not being totally certain and therfore not considered liable/responsible for any consequences because I was exercising the benefit of doubt as like disregarding the evidence and the facts and going into a belief of deciding on something based on whim as like choosing to ignore the the bulk of evidence as realisation and understanding because that would result in a different decision.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that the benefit of doubt as to make decisions that are illogical as like to ignore the physical evidence here in making sound decisions under the guise of hope.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting doubt to being a benefit or favour.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to make the word doubt either positive or negative in its connotation.

 

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the benefit of doubt exists as to assert and prove rightness as like self righteousness as like being right.....as like the benefit of doubting what was being said was that there was a belief in the slight possiblitly of asserting righteousness as like being right and getting the results you want and hope for.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the connection between self righteousness and the benefit of the doubt.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having participated within doubting from and as the starting point of self righteousness and greed as like to protect my personal bubble world of specific perceptions of this how I like things to be.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the nastiness within the benefit of the doubt which is portrayed under the guise of niceness.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not considering and realising that giving someone the benefit of doubt is like accepting and allowing the doubt to conitinue to exist within self.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting doubt wihtin myself as like a way of avoiding facing the truth of myself.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto doubt as like an excuse and validation that I can't possibly understand everything about myself and be without doubt because there is just too much of me here.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting doubt to being overwhelmed and use doubt as the excuse/resason/justification to dismiss clarity/certainty/undestanding within myself.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within doubt as like a an egoic form of self preservation.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto doubt within myself as like a way of preventing and circumventing the death of my ego.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating the benefits of doubt as like a way to avoid facing conflict within myself and within others.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face conflict and therfore use doubt as a self defnese mechanism as like to hide my eyes from seeing the truth of existence.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be attacked if I do not accept and allow the benefits of doubt.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that doubt is perpetuated because of fear as like various reasons of ridiculousness as a means of avoiding the conlifct that is here....when in actuality, doubt perpetuates the conflict that is here because particpating in doubt is liking hoping and wanting conlifct to be sorted out without taking a self directive position in bringing about conflict resolutions as sustainable solutions that are are best for life here.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that I cannot exist within absolute certainty within myself as long as I exist within and as doubt.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring and hoping for absolute certainty within myself.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fro having manipulated myself into positions of absolute certainty from within a dishonest starting point as like neglecting equality and oneness and therfore not realising how I manipulated myself into believing myself as absolute certainty through and as the consequence of accepting and allowing 'the benefits of doubt' to exist within myself.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing in the benefits of doubt.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that the benefits of doubt are like a self deceptive manipulation tactic to feel good and to avoid possible friction that is already existing benearth the surface to rear its head and been seen and exposed.

 

I forgive myself for not realising the benefits of doubt as like being able to keep secret and remain hidden the forbidden knowledge and information as like the accepted and allowed truth of the situation.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing peoples emotions.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing doubt to exist as as a benefit.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating my actions as a means of manipulating the actions and responses of others.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for avoiding to speak in ways that may incite emotions within people as like bring up shit that is being hidden beneath the surface.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to take self resposnibility for the shit I incite within other people here....and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising my self direction within and as self support and assistance as like directing situations/solutions as what is best and therfore handle as a point of self direction any and all reactions as like an effortless ease I am able to facilitate with patience and perseverance as self willed life commitment to what is best always here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting myself as Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made reasons/justifications/excuses/limitations upon Life as accepting and allowing myself to have my doubts about Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not trusting Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting self trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to trust people and therfore excercise the benefit of doubt as like accepting and allowing myself to not trust a point and then to follow along with the point anyway.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that as I trust myself I can trust everyone as I allow myself to stand as a reflection of everyone here and therfore I able able to hear clear what is being said and therfore there becomes no need for belief in and as interpretation as I become a sound guy as like equality and oneness in and as physical structural sound as like the making I am becoming.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that doubt exists as like wanting more feedback for a situation to bring abut clarity and certainty.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding doubt as a tool of support to assist and support with clarity and understanding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that there cannot be good and bad points about doubt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a conflict scenario between good and bad as like trying to circumvent the bad with the good and not really considering the cycle of good and bad and how the value of good and bad exist as like complimentary as like one doesn't exist withiout the other as like good and bad being relative.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that in a world of abuse....doubt as a benefit may act as a cool point of self suppor tin establishing stability as like taking onself to the point of nothingness where you trust nothing....not even yourself....till here no further,...begin a new...as like to start with self trust...and as self is understood....Life is born from the physical....as and within self trust as no doubt about self/life/here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming my relationships with words and phrases here as like so to point the finger as phrases and sayings as for example " the benefit of doubt" as like to form sort of belief as to how to operate within accordance and relationship to the benefit of doubt as like a separate entity from and as the benefits of doubt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having separated myself from and as words and phrases and created relationship beliefs about words and phrases as like operational rules of condes of conduct as like how I am suppose to act in relation to certain words as like reactions when and as I hear specifc words and phrases spoken.

I forgive mysel for accepting and allowing myself for having created rules as like coding within myself as beahvioural reactions within myself according to specific valuses assigned to words and phrases of words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having manipulated the value of words and phrases to be out of wack as like totally misalligned.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having fucked with sturctural ressonance allignment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created a structural resonance alignment as like a scale of values as like competing values in competion with one another.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself reacting to words/behaviours/patterns here....I stop and I breathe and I accept and allow myself to look at point of self compromise as defined valuse assements from within and as the starting point of asserting and proclaiming and defending self righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having limmited and suppressed my ability and capabilitlies to here with clarity as like without reaction/judgement.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that my ability and capabilities to hear with clarity and certainty here are enhanced as I take self responsibility for each and every discrepancy within myself as like my structural resosnace allignment system as like the scale of values that is in disharmony with life harmony.

I realise the sound game I have been playing within and as energy participations as like how I choose to hear what is here based on how I have chosen to define what is here with and as my sounds and therefore chosen to categorize my hearing and seeing here within and as feelings/emotions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having alligned my existence here to that which I desire and like based upon self interest as feelings as like what I have defined my feelings to be as like the desired positive buzz for myself to experience bliss.

I realise ability as self respnsibility to direct solutions which are best for all life in every moment are compromised within uncertainty as like doubting self responsibility and capabilities as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to react and fear to being here,  as clear and capable hearing here to listen to all given positions as like the certainty in hearing with clarity the truth of the sounds.

I commit myself to certainty in sound.

I commit myself to listening and devlopping clarity from listening with a clear ear as like to hear what is hear without judging what I hear.

I commit myself to letting go of the benefits of doubt as like coping mechanism...and I enable my self trust here as like the compensation for letting go of the benefits of doubt as I choose to no more hide and defend myself from being attacked.

I commit myself to sharing common sense solutions.

I commit myself to playing as commen sense simplicity.

 

Day 200 Doubting My Fellow Man

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting people's ability to change.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding that I have been self sabotaging my ability to change by projecting the belief that other people are not able to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having doubted myself and my ability to change as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having liked placing myself within and as a position of superiority where I believe I am capable and able of great change and I believe that most other people are just not capable and able of great change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating in self righteous justification as consequence of separating myself from myself by placing myself in comparison with others whom I have believed to be separate from me and are bad and that I am good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created and participated within mind fucks of doubt by allowing myself to go into friction of comparison as good versus evil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how it is an act of blame and justification as a lame excuse to hold onto doubt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having developed a negative energy charge toward the word doubt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing and hoping that if I let go of all doubt than in fact great change will be possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hoping for great change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing great change is possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having doubted my fellow man as like and excuse and abdication of my self will as reason and justification for me to remain within the same patterned behaviors of self interest as thought/feeling/emotion play outs as consequence existing in time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to see doubt as an act of strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having connected doubt to the word belief and believe....like if you don't doubt than you must have faith and believe as like subscribing to a certain belief construct conditioning as mind perspective.

I realize doubting beliefs is a cool act of questioning validity/accuracy/accountability of what is being said.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that if I don't doubt myself and my fellow man that I must believe in myself and my fellow man.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting myself and my fellow man as consequence of knowing what I have accepted and allowed to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding that self doubt is released/relinquished in all ways as self trust is developed and in lived as practical solution here as starting point in and as self movement as like a hear here hearing what is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having not wanted to trust myself always beause than I am without excuse and must stand as what is best for life always always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting and fearing to stand within and as self trust as what is best for life always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for worrying about my ability and my fellow man's ability to stand as what is best for life always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for having operated from within and as the starting point of beliefs as a way to form perspectives and move myself about from within the comfort of a particular energetic frequency as like a false sense of knowing...as belief conditioning hypnosis programming.

I realize the ridiculousness of doubting myself/doubting my fellow man as like giving attention to doubt serves no great purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to see doubt as point necessary to bring about an end to a means as like proof/truth as like what are the physical facts of the matter as like the answer/solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  myself for resisting seeing doubt as a cool point of self support because it doesn't sit well with how I have conditioned myself to view and perceive doubt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating myself/others as consequence of how I accept and allow myself to perceive/believe words to be as like charges placed onto words within and as conflict/friction/polarized energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining doubt as a negative charged word.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining doubt as a positively charged word.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict within myself by accepting and allowing doubt to be either charged as positive or negative within myself.

I forgive myself for allowing myself to believe that doubt is bad and improper manners and is something one shouldn't allow oneself to do because of the saying I heard that you should always give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding what it means to give someone the benefit of the doubt as like to be an example of solution.


I would like to investigate the statement, "give someone the benefit of the doubt". So, I will end my blog at this point of, 'benefit of the doubt' and allow this point as a seed of support to grow within myself over night and I will investigate this point/growing/expansion within myself and I will report my findings/understandings/realizations.

Remember, just give me the benefit of the doubt that I will report back on the point of benefit of the doubt.

LOL

I'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt.

Day 199 Bad Posture

Continuing with self forgiveness on bad posture from my previous blog


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a rebelious attitude towards posture.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding this rebelious attitude towards posture was in fact an act of self sabotage that just compromised my physical well being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for rebelling with my physicality like me in my mind of thoughts and feelings could out think the body into what I desire and believe that I would like.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the point of resistance to aligning with proper posture was a point of accepted and allowed conflict within myself as like a stubborness to living as alignement to what is best for physicality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having compromised physical well being because of accepted and allowed stubborness as like egoic behaviour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being upset and disapointed with myself for having fucked with my physicality so exstensively here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having aligned my physicality with feelings and emotions as like whatever I think I am and follow as like existing within a state of subserviance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being disapointed with myself for all the mistakes I have made throughout my time here.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that recognising all my mistakes I have made can be a cool point of support to assist me with understanding the inner workings of my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having seen aligning pproper posture as work and effort.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having developed a conflicting relationship with work and effort and therfore avoided it all costs.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the avoidance of work and effort have resulted in physical neglect as like being negligence towards life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being negligent towards life as consequence of accepting and allowing myself for dismissing the importance and practicality of work and effort as like a necessary component to daily living and physical maintenance here as like a contribution to life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been a bad example here as consequence of having neglected and disregearded my posture so exstensively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having to come to the point of accepting and allowing my posture to get so bad before I realised the point of self sabotage and neglect as disregarding my best interests as the interests that are best for life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating laziness within myself as consequence of having submitted to not allowing myself to sit upright.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for automatically going into a poistion of slouching as like an act of rebellion towards authority as like the rules and physical understanding of the human body that proper posture is important for physical well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for having acted an existed like a blob...like resisting to really hold myself upright and walk/stand tall.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that to hold myself upright ios uncomfortble.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting all things that I experience as uncomfortable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for always trying to insure that I am alligned as comfortable as like effortlessness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that always alligning myself to comfortable and effortlessness has been a point of self interest from the persepctive of me as ego as like not wanting to push myself into points of self expansion so as to find out what I am capable and able of practically living from and as the starting point of what is best for life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted taking self responsibility and re alligning my posture to what is best as best physical support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing emotions as like "i don't fee like it excuse to have directed me away from actions as physical support.'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my mind consciousness system to influence my physicality in ways that do not support me.

I forgive myself for accepting allowing myself for believing that it hurts my back too much to have to sit up straight.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected my back muscles support and strength as consequence of accepting and allowing myself for having spited myself with poor posture throughout the years.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being angry and irritated about the consequence I am faced with here today as requiring physical re-alignment to what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mindfucking myself with the attitude and beliefs of loooking back in the past and think about how if I had of acted differently.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that I can using looking back at past actions as a point of support as like being greateful for seeing the self corrections I am able to walk as the solution to me here as commitment to self perfection...so as to insure I don't accept and allow myself to compromise my physical body.


I realise I am in process of walking self corrections as I allow myself to perfect being here.

I realise perfecting myself here is a process and that I am constantly faced with points of correction as I have existed here for so long without considering what is best for all life here always and thus therfore within that equation what is best for me too.

I realise that allowing myself to react to point of self correction is ridiculously absurd because that's just wasting time within and as self pity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having taken self pity upon myself as like to wallow whine wihtin and as sadness/self victimization.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for brinh concerned with my physical well being while at the same time spiting my physical well being as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to be at conflict with effort and work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining work as effort and wihtin this , I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reissting effort that I don't experience a positive feeling towards and as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for only being interested in effor where I see the pay out as like an experience of reward or as like instant gratification as like some sort of high experience within the real of positivity as like asserting self righteousness as big ego.

I realise every time I correct my posture and allow myself to stick to self commitment to re align my posture as to hold myself up within myself as like to stand within myself absolute as like stability and solid physicality as strenght and self willed determination...over time I will become the resultso fmy work as self correction and my posture will be re-aligned to what is best.

I realise I am walking through consequences in time and the process of re-allignment take place in time and is not in one moment entirely finished as like all done process...totla transcendence from mind as energy and limitation into physical substance complete.

I realise posture supports my physical body self awareness here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected physical self awareness here as consequence of neglecting my posture.

I realise good posture aligns with effective breathing for the best maintenance and governance of my physicality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having felt sorry for myself and for feeling stuck here as like ugh Ive had no choice in the matter...and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made holding myself up here a burden to the point where Ive dragged my ass around and constantly leaned upon things as like me dieing withing myself as like struggling to exist here within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected physical support to such an exstent that I didnt even consider an act of physical suppor to be my posture and holding myself upright.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understand how when I was yound I developped strong positive feeling towards physical fitness...and as like consequence the strong love as feeling towards physical fitness didnt stick and turned negative and nasty as like brutal abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that all the positive feelings about physical fitness were just as abusive if not more abusive than all the negative emotions about physical fitness as laziness and lethargy as like such a resistance to move myself within myself as a point of physical support and self nourishment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowign myself for having particpated and allowed resitance towards physical exercise as a point of physical support as like a form of self goevernance and maintenance as like taking care of my physical body here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I shouldnt have to work or put in effort to care for the well being of my physicality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for spiting physicality as life here by deliberately trying to do nothing to support my physical well being in hopes and desires that doing nothing to support myself physically will actually support me physically.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for indulging within thoughts based upon hopes and desires from the starting point of self righteousness as like this is what I want because this is how I feel and I think what I feel and because I am greedy this is how I am going to act.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fo rhaving neglect my posture as consequence of playing out the acceptance and allowance of greedy self righteousness as I always do things my way.

I forgive msyelf for accepting and allowing myself for trying to make my way as the way as like me being superior and therfore having the best way and therfore all others should see me and my way and adopt to me and my particpations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having perpetuated delusions within myself by actually realising that I have participated within doing things that were not infact best and required re-allignmnet...but I didnt want to acknowledge and walk self correction because I would be required to admit and acknowedge my faults and people would see me changing my ways and therfore see me walking a different path...and therfore they would no that I gave up on my way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting and not wanting to give up my way as like what I think and feel.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself neglecting my posture, I take a deep breath and allow myself to re-allign my posture with breath as like a strecthing myself out as like releasing tension and strain from my body as like the consequence of accepting and allowing bad posture.

I commit myself to re-alligning my posture as equality and oneness so as to become physical alignment as example/solution here as equality and oneness.

Day 198 Posture

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded the importance of having good posture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created the memories when I was young that good posture is work and hard and is not fun and I think I should not have to be concerned with posture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created friction towards having good posture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being hunched over is more comfortable that sitting/standing upright.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding bad posture results from laziness as like an accepted and allowed heaviness within myself as like an accepted and allowed tiredness as consequence of resisting to move self here.

Day 197 Talk of Support

So, I had several talks of support today/this evening.  What was common within the talks of support was the sharing of assistance and support from the starting point of giving as you would like to receive.

What does it mean to give as you would like to receive?

Well, there is many facets to understanding the simplicity of giving and receiving.

For example,

1) When someone is talking, listen.

2) When you have a reaction to what a person is saying see the gift that is being presented here, don't allow yourself to go there in following reaction...as this disrupts the flow of what a person is saying and you will spoil the gift as the point of reaction within yourself as a self reflection which enables self perfection.

3) When someone reacts to your words be patient.

4) Listen to the presence you are receiving as physical sound expression.

5) Listening enables receiving and giving.

6) If you listen you will receive everything.

7) Being selective with listening is mentally retarded because you are blocking out the most important part because what you don't deliberately hear is exactly what you need.

8) Sound sews it so as all is sewn together here in sound so you know what is existing here in sound.

9) You cannot receive what you are not willing to give

10) Give everything

11) Life is Everything

12) Life is given

13) Everything is given

14) The law of equality

15) Life is God

16) God is Sound

17) Sound is physical structure

18) participate as physical structural support

19) Sharing physical structural support is key to becoming Life

20) Words are physical structural support.

21) Share words as physical structural support

Day 196 Mental Masturbation Charcter

Thinking....like projecting thoughts upon the future...reflecting upon the past....stewing in whatever pops up....giving the time and attention to whatever pops up in the head...not seeing and realising that all these thoughts popping up are like dicks to jerk off or pussies to fuck as like down the rabbit hole riding the train of thought...ramrodding any actual physical particpation.

Above words are some ways to to describe mental masturbation, which can also be refferred to as mind fucking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been addicted to mental masturbation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating mental masturbation indulgences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being ashamed and not wanting to acknowledge that I've been a chronic mental masturbator.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking with myself constantly as like an all the time thing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how possessed I have been within and as mental masturbation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying to see how possessed I have been to mentally masturbating myself as like always participating with whatever pops up within my head as like being a real enrgy slut as like being an attention seeking energy whore.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to energy buzz from passive or active particpations within mind fucking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking either an active or passive role within mind fucking.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the ridiuclousness of taking either an active or passive role within mind fucking...ridiculousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having perpetuated mind fucking as like fear/love energetic fuel as like getting high off the positive and the negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being a greedy self righteous mind fucker.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not understanding the nature of thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that thinking is healthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking myself  in some many different ways as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to mentally masturbate myself within the spectrum of emotions and feelings as emotions representing the negative energies and feelings representing the positive energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mind fucking the shit out of myself as like mining/minding the physical substance from my body as like disregard any consequence of mental masturbation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created dillusional deliberate manipulative mindfucks that I want to believe in as like a form of faith as like that I can have hope that by particpating within mind fucks that my dreams/desires will come to fruition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having indulged in mind fucking from the starting point of self interest as righteousness as being justified and believing myself to be the mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted brutally exposing the ridiculousness as like the crazy wowness of mind fucking/mental masturbation because in doing so I am exposing myself as I am not separate from the fuckedness particpations as a point of self responsibility for all the mind fucking that exists because I have enegaged in mental masturbation since I learned how to think.

I forgive myself for not realising that I have limmited and supressed physical sex as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to mentally masturbate.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding how limmited I have been as consequence of accpeting and allowing myself to mentally masturbate.

I forgive myself for not really wanting to consider the consequences of mental masturbation because that would mean I would be faced with the brutal harsh truth of what I have accepted and allowed that has been in fact a travesty of life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring to profess and proclaim my innocence as like ohh it's not my fault that I have been a chronic mental masturbator.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring to shift responsibility away from myself as like to hide in ignorance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not knowing, realising and understanding what it is like to exist for a whole day here without mentally masturnbating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I cannot go days without mentally masturbating myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it would be soo hard to stop thinking and within this statement I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the implication within this statement as like being a double penetration as a double mind fuck as like this point having multiple dimensions to it...as like getting fucked from 2 different angles...as it's it's like me fucking me with 2 dicks...as like what the fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to fucking myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking myself in every way possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I could mind fuck people.....I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the point of equality and oneness with regards to mental masturbation/mind fucking as meaning that if I allow myself to fuck myself I am allowing all of existence to fuck themselves as like equal treatment as treat others like I like to be treated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for treating myself to an over indulgence of mind fucking on a daily basis.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared taking self responsibility for my actions as accepting and allowing myself for jerking off in my head as like chronically mastubrating mentally as thoughts/thinking/feelings/emotions/reactions/love/fear/drugs/alcohol/relationships/sports/video games/tv/family/friends/politics/work/gossip/blame/jealousy/anger/irritation/frustration/excitement/annoyance/frustration/happiness/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mind fucking myself about the fact that I decided to open up and expose the point of mental masturbation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the starting point of mental masturbation being thinking/fear/judgement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mind fucking the belief that to stop the evolution of mind fucking will take forever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mind fucking myself in time as like existing within and as a separate relationship to time as like I am always losing time and I am trying to gain time but it seems time is working against me as like I always seem to spend more time than I actually require to get something done...yet it takes me more time and I like to have as much time as possible because I have been greedy about time. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being greedy and righteous about time...and specifically my time as like the time that I own.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wowing at the ridiculousness as like wow to looking at myself and seeing that the extent of mental masturbation within myself is exstensive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having mentally masturbated while I physically masturbated.  I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that mentally masturbating while physically masturbating compromises physicality here.

I forgive myself for having resisted seeing the ridiculousness of mental masturbation in all its obvious facets that don't seem so obvious when one is in state of possession/addiction/obsession as like fucking wow this ridiculously not cool.

I realise the wackedness of mind fucking.

I realise that all my mind consciousness particpations are forms of mind fucking and that untill I have worked through the extent of my mind I am in the process of unfucking myself so to speak as like to become reall living words always as what's best as to to know more accept and allow life to be surpressed at the expense/consequence of accepted and allowed mind fucking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to write about mental masturbation for more than this blog entry.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to write out specifics of mental masturbations.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to mentally masturbate...I stop and dissipate the enregetic buildup with breath as I ground the energetic buildup in the earth as like returning and re-storing substance as being rooted in a sound foundation as equality and oneness as the planted seed of the will I am to become Life as what is best.