Day 408 Forgiveness Freestyle Rap Exploration

Day 408 Forgiveness Freestyle Rap Exploration





I forgive myself for the regret within myself


As like the regret of not finding the time to make point within writing rhymes
Like messages and prayers for me in You
To Insure the Excellence in Our How We Do...


Like Realizing the Perfection Connection
Within and as Self Correction
As the Yaaaaa,
Sure Thing
Self Perfection Recipe


As Like the Guarantee within Manual Laboring it Yourself
As Like the Birth Right Inheritance In Giving Life to Words...
Exercising Meaning as Our Play Ground Climbing Structures...
Knowing We Form the Formations with Our Information...
Providing Our Structural Sound Alignment
As the Expression We Are


And Are...

Like OURS....

Like This Is Our Shared Reality...

Like Everyone Broadcasting Live 24/7 Information Programming...

A Bit Of an Infomercial Reality in the Age of Celebrity Copy Cat Fame Wanna Be Recognized Special acknowledgement Edition

Like Sharing Special Artistic Production



And SHIT!

This is Where the Truth is Sour Because for so many Hours I Fantasized and Visualized about Me and the Fame and Fortune and Special Recognition

As Like Yo,

Hey You,

Praise Me and Recognize My Real Lies as My Self Proclaimed Spiritual Intuition...

Like Call Me Your Teacher and Guru...

Pay Me,,,

Pay Me...

To Play You Like My Sing A-Long Song of Living High...

Like Self Righteous Hierarchy...

And You Can Watch and Follow Me and Try to Be Just Like Me...

But ALL-Ways Feeling Never Quite as Good...

Because In My Dream World Fantasy,

I need Fanatics to Stroke my Ego...

As Like Being My Loyal Servants to Jerk Me Off...

Metaphorically Speaking...

Like a Speak Easy...

I See Myself as a Social Lubrication...

Embracing the Darkness as Having Removed All The Light...

No Fear to Rap Freestyle from within the Darkness of Myself...

To Pull Up All My Shit...

And FARM IT Like Manure...MAN YOU ARE...

While Using and Exploiting the Copy Cat Exploits of Wanna Be Self Loathing Fanaticism as Like SHIT....

OH FUCK There It Is...I Gotta Stop Hating Myself...Like Shit I realise I was disguising My Hate within a Self Righteous Glorification as a Mask Disguised as Praise in Hope to Alleviate the Disease I see When I Look at You and I Realize You is Me....

But I Fucking Hate You and Love Me....


Like How Could You Ever Be as Good as Me?



This is The Competition Industrial Frame of Mind Complex I'm Talking About as the Regret....

Hell of a Fret...

Because it's the Fright in the Bite You don't want to Swallow...

Because You're the Dirty Nasty You Think You're Better Than...



The Whole Better Than Game is an Algorithm for the Betting Man Who Bets Against Other Betting Man Looking for the Sure Thing Within The Self Righteous Hopes Coding That The Better Than Game Is Human Nature Survival of The Fittest...

Never Realizing....

The Whole Better than Game Can't be Beat as the Best Always Get Better...Meaning Our Bets and Plays are Always Complimentary Insurance For the Win/Win Sure Thing Outcome


Funny Thing about the Sure Thing Win/Win Outcome is Everyone Fears Losing on the Sure Thing Win/Win Outcome

Fears Losing At the Expense of Giving...

Like Giving is Seen as Weakness to the the Losers Here


But The Kicker Is That Those Who Celebrate a Win at The Expense of a Loser are total Fucking Losers....

And Shit there You Have it!

Fanaticism!

Where You Cut Your Winnings In Half and turn a Win into a Lose...Because You feel Better about less of a Good thing and More of a fucking terrible thing....

 Abracadabra  Here Through the Crystal Ball The State of World Affairs are Self Evident as the Grossly Disproportionate Divide...

WOW the Math has been Bad...I mean Turning Wins into Loses is Psychopathic and Sociopathic in Nature....

Fuck...


I Forgive Myself for Accepting  and Allowing Myself to Be a Fanatic as Like Obsessed About Winning as Like the Epitome of Extreme Polarity Competition...Loving the Win and Hating the Loss...Going so Far as to HardWire a Physical Emotional and Feeling Spectrum of Energy Highs and Lows...Making Me Like a Reactionary Self Automated Piano Man...As Like always Having a Key Stroked...A button Pressed...a Nerve Hit...As Like an Electrical Impulse...Signaling to Me The Response retaliation Within and As Not Realizing the Whole Monkey See...Monkey Do and How I created the Fight and Hate of My Own reflection to the Point I believed it was Either Me or You...Not Realizing The Interconnection Between You and Me...as Like Gaming/Sparring Partner...Here to Help Each Other Learn the Same Lesson...Because as the Cause that Be Class is Always in Session As Were ALL Facing Reflection...

The You Know

As The K Now

Self Perfection


As Like K...Like OK We've Reached a Perilous Point and It's Time to Create an Optimum Equilibrium Harmonious Balance of Principled Living Acceptances and Allowances as the Laws of Being a Real Potential Mother Fucker...A Fucking Real Being who Gives the Best Shit!

Day 407 Paranoid Performance

Day 408 Paranoid Performance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been fearful about my performance within anything I place tremendous value and importance within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having allowed myself to be paranoid about my performance within competitions and presentations and assignments as a result of fearing to make a mistake that will have undesirable consequence…as like desiring so strongly to not make a mistake…and within this I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the irony of fearing so strongly about not making a mistake as like that being a sure recipe for making a mistake as like that point of ingrained fear being a recipe for failure as like disappointment and total dissatisfaction as like a weight that is self-imposed that suppresses and buries one’s ability to operate at a capacity to perform within and as one’s abilities and capabilities as like harnessing and utilizing potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that my every relationship with people reflected my relationship with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of being paranoid about performance within participation's.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having emotional reactions to my every performance as like my every move/action and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent to which I have lived within self-judgement as like a form of paranoia as like a fear that has always been within me that I tried to hide within the belief of being focused within and as righteous self-interest as like creating reasonable justifications as like the logic I see as to so validate me existing within and a frame of mind as like a self-imposed imprisonment/perception/belief/personality/limitation as like the means to performing as less than my capabilities and potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating relationships based upon superficial likes and dislikes as like a reflection of myself as what I have accepted within my ego personality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ingraining competition within myself as like a reasonable justification to exist within paranoia about performance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for enabling fear within competition performances as like everything I do that I place value within as like making fear/paranoia seemingly necessary and valid as like connecting this to caring, wanting and desiring a particular outcome and within this doubting/fearing things not going the way I want them to go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear as like a form of paranoia as like not realising and understanding how I have perpetuated fearful paranoid experiences as a result of what I have been accepting and allowing within myself within and a positive desires.

When and as I see myself becoming paranoid about a performance, I stop and breathe, I realise the irony and ridiculousness within being paranoid about a performance, I see the funny here as like yes this is totally ridiculous, a complete mind fuck, I realise and understand I do not desire of wish or want to mindfuck myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I desired to deliberately mindfuck myself within doing drugs and alcohol as like wanting and desiring to change the experience of myself within my mind as like to that of having a good time…and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that drugs and or alcohol are necessary for me to have fun and a good time…as like making the experience of myself better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having limited my ability have fun and a good time as a result of allowing myself to be existing within a a fearful paranoid state of suppression as like being within a total mindfuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting to a point of mind fucking mind fucks as like a way of dealing/coping/distracting myself from the truth of the fuckedness I have accepted and allowed within my mind.

When and as I see myself defining a likeness towards a person or a dis-likeness towards a person based upon an emotional/feeling/thought reaction, I stop and breathe and I realise the law of equality and oneness and the point of process as self-reflection as everything comes back to me…and I realise I don’t wish to mind fuck myself anymore and that I choose to stop all mind fucks within myself as they come up as I realise and understand that I know how to stop and prevent mind fucks from happening within myself…and I realise myself responsibility and commitment to self-perfection as like walking the process of self-correction within learning from my every mind fuck as like thoughts/feelings/emotions as like various energetic programs within myself that I created over time as like the input impressions of my acceptances and allowances.

Day 406 Teacher

Day 406 Teacher

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the responsibility and the importance of the role of a world teacher.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have doubted my worthiness and discipline to actually walking the committed process of taking all necessary steps in making myself available as a world teacher here to assist and support the betterment of humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the consequences within not taking the responsibility of becoming a world teacher serious…as like realising the opportunity to give as I would like to receive…as like making a point of doing this because I see that I am capable and able to, and I know I have the potential to be a really great world Teacher.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to help myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to help others help them self within sharing self-realisations and practical applications of assistance and support as like things I have learned and corrected…and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be challenged about what it is I know and realise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seriously disliking to be challenged.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking challenges personally as like being emotionally sensitive to challenges as like seeing challenges as like a form of arguing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being paranoid about people arguing with me and wanting to argue with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated with requiring to be very patient within teaching as like I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing expectations within learning…as like expecting there to be a certain level of expediency within and as a point I am educating others about/assisting and supporting the implementation of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting angry, frustrated and disappointed with myself and others when a point of self-realisation is taking more time than I would like it to take.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting displeased with the time that it takes to sort things out as like the time it takes to process understanding as like the time it takes me to learn and comprehend things. I realise and understand that I can expediate process of learning and understanding within stopping all judgement as judgement is a form of mental fear as like a mental barrier that inhibits quantum realisation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring instantaneous results…and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally about the time it takes for me to process points of understanding/self-realisation here as like specific points of individual processing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking offense and getting bothered by people challenging my intellect as like my smarts…as like challenging me within and a  way of testing my comprehension and understanding of points of self-realisation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become bothered when I am sharing a self-realisation and people are looking to find some other authority over the information as like being in disbelief and trying to discredit the validity of me being the source of a self-realisation of knowledge and information as like not seeing me/themselves defined as like an authority of facts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not accepting myself as an authority of facts as like realising myself as the source code of self-realisation…as like its within understanding my past acceptances and allowances that I am able to foster change and re-script myself in ways that are best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being defensive when I am feeling challenged by others who are testing/challenging and attempting to discredit myself as an authority of information as what’s best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the point of World Teachers as like authorities of knowledge and information as what is best for Life as like the real facts of existence…living words of sharing assistance and support….the truth of matters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been paranoid about peer review as like getting feedback and support of my peers as like fearing myself as not good enough to collaborate and work with my peers and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to really accept myself.  I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of suppressing self-acceptance.

When and as I see myself being resistant towards peer review, I stop and breathe and I realise and understand the practical living assistance and support within and as peer review.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created justifications and reasons and excuses as like ways to avoid self-acceptance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being paranoid about self-acceptance…as like fearing to really love myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being embarrassed with the absurd ridiculousness as like having been paranoid about accepting myself and qualifying myself as worthy to participate within group activities and be an equal party within and as group participation's such as peer review.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been nasty to so many of my peers over the years behind their backs…as like realising and understanding how I created, justified and validated the fear of peer review within myself as like fearing the wrath of my own accepted and allowed judgement existing within others…as like knowing and understanding the nastiness I have spoken and felt so strongly about others…as like a hateful disgust.

When and as I see myself reacting to peoples reaction within sharing a self-realisation/sharing some facts, I stop and breathe as I realise and understand the process of self-realisation as a process and that each person is within and that judging any point within process is ridiculous absurdity as like wow, taking anything personally is such a mind fuck.

I see specific points of further investigation here with regards to paranoia of peer review/evaluation…and relating and pertaining to specific memories about myself holding strong criticisms and judgments about my fellow teammates while playing hockey as a youngster….as like having formed dislikes or likes based upon teammates abilities and therefore placing discrepancies within and as equality and oneness together as like everyone having equal and one Life value….

To be continued….

Day 405 Drugs/Alcohol Regretted Fear

Day 405 Drugs/Alcohol Regretted Fear

My tree planting contract I was working just finished and I was saying goodbye to some of my peers and while this was occurring I was also introducing myself to some people I failed to take the time within the work season to get to know. I see that I missed some opportunities here to share with others.  I see that I had put up a blockade of resistance towards social interactions that would occur around or during the consumption of drugs and alcohol. The point dawned upon me this morning that I actually feared interacting…standing alone facing many people using drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared spending my time off from work socializing with people whose priority was to party as a means of getting drunk with alcohol and high with various drugs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared placing myself as a visible example for those focused on getting drunk and high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared confrontation with people consuming lots of drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been paranoid about confrontation about the use of drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted facing my past in all ways by seeing myself and taking the time to socialise with my co-workers who were using drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having creating righteous justified reasoning as why to not give any attention to the people who were regularly consuming drugs and alcohol after work and on our days off from work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding myself as a capable teacher for people using drugs and alcohol as I can relate to and identify with people using drugs and alcohol recreationally as a means to having a good time.  I realise and understand that drugs and alcohol are not the foundation of having a good time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted taking the time to really make an effort to plant seeds of support within all the people who were regular consumers of drugs and alcohol within my work environment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been extremely righteous within a superiority hierarchy construct in regards to my peers who use drugs and alcohol…and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from all the beings who were using drugs and alcohol and thinking of myself as like better and more evolved then these people…and like not worthy of my time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having judged myself as being righteous towards coworkers who were interested in partying as like drinking alcohol and doing drugs from the perspective of feeling guilty and ashamed for having not made more of an effort to spend time with these co-workers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having held onto judgement of my actions this summer. I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of holding onto judgement about my actions…as like I realise wow that’s not cool and is in fact pointless. When and as I see myself holding onto points of judgement, I stop and breathe and I realise I don’t need to create this extra baggage within myself…and that letting go of all judgement is the way to go…as it is a key to self-enjoyment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for lacking compassion, sympathy and patience for the people who are taking drugs and alcohol as a way to have a good time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself from being angry and disappointed and sad with myself for having spent many years focused on socializing within the starting point of consuming drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself of having difficulty seeing myself within points I am not proud of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being ashamed and embarrassed of how I use to be so proud about drug and alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been paranoid about hanging out within a group of people where I am the only person not drinking or doing drugs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable hanging out within a group/surrounded by people consuming drugs and alcohol…where I am the only person who Is not consuming drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having used drugs and alcohol as a means of enjoying myself and feeling more comfortable within social interaction situations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to participate in social interaction situations where I am sober and everyone else is intoxicated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made such a big deal about the use of drugs and alcohol…as like having really feared facing myself within these environments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having extensively judged myself for choosing not to spend my free time socialising with people who are indulging in drugs and alcohol for the purpose of getting fucked up, wasted, high as like the means for having a good time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having very much regretted not spending more time with people who were indulding themselves in drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having judged myself as wrong as like having made the wrong decisions within having chosen to not spend my time interacting with co-workers who are focused on getting drunk and high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling guilty that I didn’t do enough to help my peers who were regularly consuming drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having guilt tripped myself within responsibility for assisting and supporting people who are abusing drugs and alcohol as like thinking it’s my duty to save them as like helping them help themselves.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting the impact I made upon others by taking a stance to deliberately not spend my time with people who want to party with drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the impact as like the support I gave myself within not being influenced by peer pressure to participate and or feeling compelled to hang out and passively support the use of drugs and alcohol by choosing to spend my time in an environment where drugs and alcohol are being consumed and encouraged.

I realise I cannot hide from drug and alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from seeing others indulge within the consumption of drugs and alcohol.

When and as I see myself deliberately hiding and or avoiding interaction with people because of the presents of drugs and alcohol, I stop and breathe…and I realise the absurd ridiculousness of fearing drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding myself as having feared relapsing into alcohol and drug participation's if I was constantly surrounded by people indulging in such activities….and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is easier for me to not be interested in doing drugs and alcohol if I am not surrounded by it. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made such a big deal within myself about drugs and alcohol…that like drugs and alcohol define who I am as like the definition of who I am is in relation to drugs and alcohol….and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made drugs and alcohol a focal point within my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I flip flopped from being pro drugs and alcohol to anti-drugs and alcohol…as like just tweaking my personality character within the positive and negative energy associations with regards to drugs and alcohol.

When and as I see myself reacting to seeing people having alcohol and or drugs, I stop and breathe and I realise and understand how everything is a tool here to assist and support in the process of Equality and Oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the fears rooted within myself with regards to drug and alcohol as a result  of having accepted either positive and or negative energetic charges about the word…as like accepting and allowing the words to be in friction as contradiction to equality and oneness. I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of accepting and allowing opposition to exist within word relations as like polarized energies of either positive or negative.  I realise how impossible it is to life a satisfying and fulfilling Life within accepting and allowing words to be polarized within opposing energies. I realise and understand the importance of purifying my vocabulary as equality and oneness as like to give myself the building blocks of Life…so as to enable myself as the author and builder of creation from and as a point of eternal life as like without opposition…as like having realized and understood the absurd ridiculousness of creating conflict as a split between myself as like fragmenting myself into pieces….instead of existing as all one together, interconnected, self-realized as oneness and equality as the Law of my being here as Life.

When and as I see myself taking offense to people drinking and or doing drugs, I stop and breathe…I realise the absurd ridiculousness of taking things personally, I realise and understand that each being is within their individual process of self-realisation, I realise and understand that everything here is a tool of assistance and support to facilitate the process of self-realisation as equality and oneness, I realise being offended by people drinking reflects a point within me about drinking where there is judgement. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project judgment about drinking alcohol.

Alcohol...like all is cool when you drink alcohol....like drinking spirits to be in high spirits...the more spirits you drink the higher your spirit and attitude of good feeling. A social lubricant to enhance feeling/sensation of interconnectedness. A chemical depressant. Complex sugars. A raw energy drink.

Drugs...like doctor suggestions...temporary placement of particular conditions/symptoms under the rug...a masking agent...like codes for the mind....a brain scrambler...a mind enhancement....like steroids for the mind...doors of perceptions...medicine...a rabbit hole....temporary relief....mind reflectors....body numbers....uppers/downers and everything in betweeners....extra channels to tune into...experience pills....happiness pills...money making profits....mind fuck....

Day 404 Learning Insurance

Day 404 Learning Insurance

I see the value in assessing my every day to see what I learned within the today.  I see this to be assisting and supporting as like to see what were the points that came up in the day as like any problems/issues…and how I solved them or how I can solve them…or like how I can prevent them in the future…and how I can better myself as like becoming better within and as my participation's here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the point of prevention as the best cure as like learning from my every doing as like to insure my operating/existing at my fullest potential at all times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted looking at problems/issues that came about within my day.  I realise the benefit within and as self-support in perfecting my daily living applications in all ways best.

I realise and understand the awesome coolness in being a problem solving detective as like dedicating myself to self-perfection as equality and oneness as like realising and understanding that I am equal to what I give…as like I get what I give…and therefore in giving myself the opportunity to solve any problem I may have…I get any problem solved and I become problem free as like no points of suppression within myself that could limit my well-being here.

When and as I see myself resisting to look at a specific point I see within the day as having been an issue/problem, I stop and breathe and I realise the practical physical support as like really caring for myself and others by removing problems from my world as like I realise and understand that as I remove problems from my immediate world I increase my ability and capability to take on larger scale world problem solving issues as like to do my part within and as solving all the problems within the world…as like to insure the world becomes in all ways a place that is always best for Life…as like I see and realise the process journey to becoming Life as I am the starting point journey to Life.

Day 403 Always be learning

Day 403 Always be learning

Today a co-worker pointed out something I had been looking at with regards to tree planting.  She referred to a friend of hers who has been planting a long time...like since he was 20 and is now 43....and that he is still learning and improving himself within the work he is doing.

I see this point of learning applying to everything...like everyday there is so much learning potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have neglected my learning potential in moments where I am not present in the moment as like totally focused within breath...like for instance mentally masturbating within thoughts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that there is always great learning potential available to me...and that it is myself responsibility to open myself up to learning as like stopping myself from closing myself off from learning...like I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of suppressing learning opportunities and potential within spitefulness and self righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed learning opportunities as a result of being self righteous and spiteful within myself and I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of spitefulness as like within spitefulness I am giving myself what I don't want to receive and I'm creating this bizarre giving experience through creating a resistance towards it that persists as a result of righteous spitefulness.

When and as I see myself being righteously spiteful towards myself by giving myself things I don't want to receive...as like acting in ways that are detrimental to my well being, I stop and breathe and I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of being righteously spiteful and within topping to breathe I give myself the opportunity to learn and embrace/receive/take/make use of the learning potential available to me as I realise and understand that everything here is to assist and support me as a learning aid.

Day 402 Thinking Nasty Things About Others

Day 402 Thinking Nasty Things About Others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought nasty things about others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having indulged within nasty thoughts about others as like believing my thoughts as like oh ya that's true...as like just making up justifications within my mind to support the nasty thinking about others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not stopping myself from the nasty thoughts...like...going into immediate self forgiveness application. When and as I see myself having nasty thoughts about others, I stop and breathe and I direct myself to forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into thinking as justification...and I check myself for righteousness as I realise and understand the nasty thinking is like fueling the self righteousness within myself as like justifying beliefs/perceptions from the starting point of myself as the almighty superior judge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand my thinking to exist from and as the starting point of self righteousness always as like being the almighty judge of superiority as like accepting everyone else as under my judgement...and within this I realise that this reflects me constantly judging myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for constantly judging myself. I realise and understand that if I accept and allow myself to judge myself than that is what I will do to others to as I am only able to treat others as good as I treat myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mistreating myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent of the point of treating others like you like to be treated...and that you can only love another as much as you love yourself.

When and as I see myself judging myself, I stop and breathe and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to harbor judgement against myself...and I realise and understand that stopping to judge myself is to actual take care for myself here.

Day 401 Each Being's Individual Process

Day 401 Each Being's Individual Process

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the reality that each being is walking an individual process here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having judged and compared my process to others...and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self righteousness in within my process...and making a big deal about where others are at within their individual process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself as like where I am at within and as my process of realisation as like upon my journey to becoming Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for treating process like a competition fueled with judgement...and I forgive myself for not realising the absurd ridiculousness of this perspective as like creating a self induced mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing process of oneness and equality within judgement comparisons as like winners and losers as like those who are good and those who are bad....I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating various polarized perceptions as a way to separate myself from others process...as like to make myself seem better than I  really am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being really nasty within and as my individual process as a result of holding onto self righteousness and desiring to be better than others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding myself as having existed as less than others as a result of being self righteous and desiring to be better than others and making judgments and comparisons as like ways to validate justifications within myself as like how I see as like a mind consciousness systematized organic robot.

When and as I see myself making judgement and comparisons about being's individual process, I stop and breathe and I realise the absurd ridiculousness of this approach...and I realise that this is a point of self reflection here as like that which I am judging and comparing is what I am accepting and allowing within myself...and therefore within seeing self reflection within judgement and comparison...I direct myself to release polarized judgement and comparison valued perceptions with specific self forgiveness applications...and Look to find the initial memories that correlate to these specific scenarios...so that within self forgiveness I am able to get at the roots of the acceptances and allowances...as I realise and understand that it's within facing all my memories that I purify the Law of my Being here as Equality and Oneness

Day 400 Group Participation

Day 400 Group Participation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the practical importance and relevance of group participation as the way to producing global change which is best for humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have isolated myself away from practical group participation to actively engage myself in coming up with practical solutions that are best for humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses as justifications as like logical self manipulated bullshit reasoning as why that which is best for humanity can't happen without actually putting in the labored effort to make what is best for humanity happen as like realising and understanding the power of a group moving together as one within and as the principle of equality and oneness as like that which is always best for life, where all life is dignified.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have resisted being a real activist that gives a shit about Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having distracted myself from being a real activist that gives a shit about Life within self interested pursuits of happiness as like chasing after the next positive energetically charged experience based of fulfilling personal desires which are various forms of self indulgences created within my bubble world of reality as me as an ego personality that my environment caters to and tailors to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to be a spokesmen for a better world...a world where Life is valued....where all Life is dignified....where Human Rights are an actuality of reality and are more than just a nice idea.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having blamed my fellow man as incapable of understanding and joining me within practical living activism as the labored pursuit necessary to instill a world that is best for all Life to come as like actually caring and being a welcoming place for all new Life forms.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed my abilities to care about Life and the future of Life on planet earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having not realised and understood that others are looking to be directed within alignment as what is best for all Life...like everyone inherently desires what is best for Life....because within Everyone/Everything is Life as real substance Here and thus it is self-responsibility in seeing all things to share the insight as You is Me and Me is You and we're all Here...like in here...in it together...a part that makes up the whole of Earth...and Making things most triumphantly awesome is a win win scenario where the total benefit is global greatness which is seemingly beyond comprehension because the great is so very very great...but this greatness is within comprehension and understanding because this greatest that is most triumphantly awesome exists within all of us.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting the greatness of my peers within my environment when I am challenged by my peers by the possibilities of changing the functioning nature of humanity to that which is in all ways most triumphantly awesome...and within this...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how my inherent greatness is being tested to see if I actually get to receive that which I have been given within and as the Gift of Life Here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the self-responsibility as a creator Here...becoming an authority of Life Here...as in becoming an Author of Life as like a being that structural writes that which is best as like that which is most triumphantly awesome...as like realising and understanding the importance in creating/producing that which I would like to receive...as like making, building, writing a Life worth living as the realisation and understanding of myself within and as practical living words...like putting my words into application...as like realising the multi-dimensionality of words as structured sound formations that is who and how I am within and without as equal and one image and likeness...a total connection...complete harmony.

Day 399 Righteousness Prevents Learning

Day 399 Self-Righteousness Prevents Learning

I noticed that it is difficult to really learn and expand one’s insight and realizations while accepting and allowing any righteousness within oneself…as like righteousness is a mental barrier from being humble…and it’s within and as a humble being/beginning that learning is possible from a starting point of growth and maturity as like developing strong roots as a the insurance in creating and developing a strong foundation of assistance and support as like accumulating branches of support as the tree grows and blossoms with a good footing as being rooted………

Letting me clarify my initial statement...it's impossible to really learn and expand one's insight and realizations while accepting and allowing any righteousness within oneself...as like righteousness is a mental barrier from being humble...

Any apparent learning while under the influence/spell of self righteousness is tainted and compromised as like the whole picture clarity is not grasped within and as a result of accepting and allowing self righteousness...as it is a mental barrier...as like creating the tunnel vision within self....and the extent of the righteousness just determines the the size of the tunnel vision...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I have prevented myself from growing and maturing as like enabling myself to learn in every moment here. I realise and understand self righteousness to be a mental barrier from being humble and learning effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dwelling within the self realisation that self-righteousness has been a major problem for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that dwelling about any situation is in fact a form of self righteous manipulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding when l am not learning there is a good possibility that I am not being humble as like being caught within and as a point of self righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand the connection between self satisfaction and learning...as like learning and realising something is a point of self-fulfillment.

When and as I see myself as dissatisfied, I stop and I breathe and I realise and understand that I am resisting to learn something and am therefore creating a mental barrier within myself as like disabling self satisfaction and fulfillment. I direct myself in seeing the mental barrier as like the blockade that is disabling self satisfaction and self fulfillment. I therefore enable myself to learn from my mistake as creating a mental barrier within myself as preventing learning/self fulfillment.

I commit myself to self-satisfaction and self fulfillment

I commit myself to learning.

I commit myself to removing all mental barriers.

Day 398 Sex Talk

Day 398  Sex Talk

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting with a mild annoyance when my girlfriend told me I talk to much prior to having sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the point of not talking within foreplay touching as like talking can be a distraction from being in the mood…as like it can be difficult to focus on the intimacy of touch.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding myself as being self righteousness within talking prior to sex as like saying things from a starting point of justification as like not wanting to let things go...and within this I realise and understand the point of letting self righteousness go from within myself as I realise and understand self righteousness to be a mental barrier as like a self induced mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for talking to much prior to sex as like a point of anxiousness and frustration...as like feeling the need to say something within and as a point of righteousness as like to validate the experience of anxiousness and frustration...and within this I see and realise the irony within this scenario as I see how I can in moments of anxiousness and frustration as like various forms of being excited about being eager to have sex, stop and breathe and allow myself to let the frustration and anxiousness go and within this I realise and understand that justifying anxiousness and frustration within talking from within and as the point...just fuels the validation of the point being alive as like righteously justifying it so...as to say it so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that I was getting mildly annoyed with my girlfriend for pointing out that I talk to much prior to sex...as like this being a point of self reflection...as point for me to see what's behind me talking to much as like what the starting point is in me talking so much prior to sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for  not considering the point of sex talk as like only engaging in sexy conversation from the perspective of being directly related to sexual activity as like words to support actions

When and as I see myself getting excited during foreplay prior to sex, I stop and breathe and I direct myself to be calm and silent as I realise the assistance and support within putting a guard over my mouth so I talk less.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard excitement within foreplay as a bad things...as like a polarity conflicted judgement. I realise and understand the point of excitement as an emotional unbalanced overwhelmingness...and I realise and understand that by disengaging all point of emotional instability from within myself I create myself as a point of constant and consistent stability as like the best physical support and assistance as like giving myself the best gift...as like refusing the temptation of choosing to go into moments of emotional instability because of a temporary momentary spark/trigger of energetic reaction within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the point of excitement  and anxiousness within foreplay as like the result of being impatient within myself as like greedily thirsting for an ejaculation as like existing within an frame of mind of being ultimately just concerned with my individual self interest.

When and as I see myself becoming anxious and excited about having an ejaculation...as like having a strong desire to just get my ejaculation and be done with sex...as like not really considering myself with my partner, I stop and breathe...and I realise the nastiness of just focusing on myself without considering all Life as the basic principle of what is best for all Life is best for me too...as like I realise and understand that just focusing on myself without regard for others is not a cool way to exist here.

I commit myself to being patient within sexual foreplay.

I commit myself to letting go of anxiousness within sex to have an ejaculation.

I commit myself to stopping selfishness within sex.

I commit myself to facing all points of selfishness within sex.

I commit myself to using sex as an amazing practical way to enhance self realisation and self perfection through facing points of self correction.

I commit myself to learning the difference between speaking physical self directed words...and speaking as mindful reactions as like without awareness and self direction stability.

Day 397 I am Magnificent

Day 397 I am Magnificent

Just listened to “I am Magnificent part 1…reptilian series205”. Someone gifted me the recording from Eqafe. I am grateful for the gifting.

Point of focus for me to take from the interview is learning from everyone/everything…like really push my interactions…like self reflection is everywhere…isolating oneself limits the ability for effective self reflection…as like it’s in the mirrors in seeing and interacting with others that we see the truth/nature of our acceptances and allowances. It can be easier to hide our truth/nature within and as the point of isolation…as like we can get caught within our own logical imagination as a form of self induced manipulation…as like righteously existing in separation of the point of equality and oneness as all here of the same image and likeness substance.

Always learning within the point of self reflection…the significance of learning something is that the totality of a point always within and without…as like it’s just a matter of here.

Realizing self righteousness as personality mindfuck.

Realizing the fun within learning from everyone

Realizing the dissatisfaction within resisting to learn

Realizing the point of support within human interaction as like mirrors sharing.

Realizing how I had gotten into a pattern and habit of isolating myself…like avoiding group discussions/interactions…accepted and allowed a preference for alone time/isolation…I Recall thinking and saying that favourite time to smoke weed was by myself…I got to a point where I was smoking all the time…within considering that if I could do whatever whenever…than I have accepted and allowed a preference to be alone…by myself.

Both is good…important not to create comparison competition polarity judgments between group interactions and private alone time. Both points equally important////equal importance is a cool expression and is the key within being able to learn from others///

Day 396 Work Talk

Day 396 Work Talk

Recently, I've been sluggish getting into a groove at work…as like being very effective within the work I’m doing…specifically in tree planting…as that’s been the work I've been participating within.

There’s been resistance within me about the work…as like not wanting to do the job anymore…feeling tired…thinking about what I will do when tree planting work finishes up very soon. 

What’s ironic about the resistance towards the work and thinking about how I will make money once tree planting ends…is that I am not maximizing my effectiveness within doing the work as like consuming myself with resistance to getting into a groove and becoming productive and efficient with my movements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage my best tree planting production within thinking about other things while beginning to tree plant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I make myself feel tired within thinking about things that do not pertain to the work I am doing…as I realise and understand that shifting my attention away from what I'm doing within thinking about future projections when I have a specific task at hand is not helpful and is in fact a hindrance to my effectiveness within the task at hand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being righteous within my thinking about other things while I have a specific task to do…as like thinking I’m just going to keep thinking within my mind about whatever comes up because I want to be distracted and kind of forget about being here within the work I am responsible for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling sorry for myself within thinking about others things when I have a specific task to do…as I realise and understand I am responsible for my work production effectiveness and that by participating within thinking that’s not related to the working I'm doing, creates a situation where I am not as effective as I am capable of being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite myself within diverting my attention away from my best work performance within deciding to move slow within thinking about all sorts of things that are not related to  the tasks at hand.

I realise the ridiculousness of choosing to compromise my best work performance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising my best work performance within choosing to focus my immediate attention within thinking about other things.

I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of having a job to do and deciding/justifying that because I’m not that keen about the work I have to do…I’ll focus my attention within thinking about being somewhere else doing different things…while I do the work I have a responsibility to do.

When and as I see myself choosing to think about things other than the work I am required to do, I stop and breathe…I focus, myself on the task at hand and I realise the absurd ridiculousness…as like self-compromising and self-sabotaging stupidity of choosing to think about things other than the work I am doing…because I realise directing energy away from the work at hand is not helpful for me doing/giving my best work out put performance.